Chapter 24
Ethan
Ethan pulled into Mark’s driveway at exactly seven, gripping the steering wheel a second longer than necessary. He exhaled, glancing at himself in the rearview mirror. The olive-green sweater and beige slacks were a step up from his usual wardrobe, and for some reason, he wanted to look… nice. Presentable . Maybe even a little impressive.
Still, nerves prickled under his skin. He wasn’t sure why. This was just Mark. Just an evening to talk.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Right?
Shaking it off, he stepped out of the truck and made his way to the door. Before he could knock, it swung open.
Mark stood there, dark eyes sweeping over him in a slow, lingering once-over before he smirked. “Damn. You look like a runway model.”
Ethan blinked, caught off guard. “Uh—” He huffed a laugh, feeling heat creep up his neck. “Okay, let’s not exaggerate.”
Mark stepped aside to let him in, shutting the door behind him. “I’m serious. I thought you were coming over to talk, not pose for a magazine cover.”
Ethan scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You’re laying it on thick tonight, counselor.”
Mark chuckled, leading the way into the living room. “What can I say? You clean up well.”
Ethan shook his head, still feeling the warmth of the compliment as he followed.
On the coffee table sat a small but carefully arranged charcuterie board—sliced meats, cheeses, some fruit, and a few crackers. It was the kind of thing Mark would probably put together without a second thought, but Ethan found it oddly endearing.
“You made snacks?” Ethan asked, raising a brow as he sank into the couch.
Mark sat beside him, picking up a cracker. “I figured we might as well have something to graze on while we talk.”
Ethan took a slice of cheese, watching him carefully. There was a slight tension in Mark’s frame, a stiffness in his usually composed demeanor.
“So,” Ethan said, getting straight to the point, “what’s on your mind?”
Mark let out a slow breath, setting his glass down. “I had a conversation with Diana today.”
“Yeah?”
“She, uh…” Mark rubbed the back of his neck. “She asked me a lot of questions. Questions about you. About me.”
Ethan chewed, waiting.
Mark exhaled. “I told her I don’t know what I’m doing. That I’ve never looked at a man the way I—” He stopped, jaw tightening.
Ethan’s pulse kicked up a notch. “The way you what?”
Mark looked at him then, something raw and unguarded in his eyes. “The way I look at you.”
Silence stretched between them. The kind that carried weight, carried meaning .
Ethan swallowed, setting his plate aside. “Mark…”
Mark shook his head. “I’m not saying this to put anything on you. I just needed to be honest. I needed to say it out loud.” He laughed lightly, though there was no humor in it. “Diana basically forced me to admit that I feel… different. That I am different when you’re around.”
Ethan’s heart pounded against his ribs, but he kept his voice steady. “And how do you feel?”
Mark licked his lips, looking away briefly before meeting Ethan’s gaze again. “Like you’ve flipped my world upside down and I don’t know which way is up.”
Ethan let out a slow breath, the weight of those words settling over him. His chest ached— not from confusion, but from something dangerously close to understanding.
Mark hesitated, searching his face. “Tell me I’m not crazy.”
Ethan’s lips twitched. “Oh, you’re definitely crazy.”
Mark groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Ethan—”
“But” Ethan interrupted, voice softer now, “you’re not alone in this.”
Mark’s eyes snapped to his, hope flickering in the dark depths.
Ethan held his gaze, offering him something real. “You’re definitely not alone.”
Silence stretched between them, heavy and fragile all at once. Ethan sat back, fingers tapping against his knee, his pulse loud in his ears. This is happening. Mark had just said it—just admitted it. And now Ethan had no idea what to do with it.
Because he felt it too.
And that terrified him.
Mark exhaled a slow breath, watching him closely. “Say something,” he murmured.
Ethan swallowed, shifting slightly on the couch. He didn’t want to ruin this, didn’t want to say the wrong thing and shatter whatever delicate thing was growing between them. His mind scrambled for words, for logic , but there wasn’t a rulebook for this. There wasn’t a protocol.
So he just… spoke from his heart.
“I don’t know what to say,” Ethan admitted, his voice quieter than usual. “Because I don’t want to mess this up.”
Mark’s lips curved, not quite a smile, but something close. “Then don’t.”
Ethan huffed out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, simple as that, huh?”
Mark’s expression softened, but there was something vulnerable in his gaze, something uncertain. “Ethan… I’ve never felt like this before.” His voice was steady, but his hands were curled into fists against his thighs, like he was holding something back. “Not once. Not ever.”
Ethan’s chest tightened. Not once. Not ever. That hit him deeper than he expected. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “That doesn’t scare you?”
“Of course it does,” Mark said immediately. He let out a short, breathy laugh, shaking his head. “I spent the entire day overthinking it. Running every possible scenario in my head.” His gaze locked onto Ethan’s. “And you know what I realized?”
“What?” Ethan asked, barely above a whisper.
Mark leaned in slightly. “I don’t want to overthink this . Not with you.” His voice was low, serious. “I just want to figure it out, one step at a time. But I need to know—what do you expect from me?”
Ethan let out a slow breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know,” he admitted honestly. “I don’t know what this is, or where it’s going. But I do know that I don’t want to lose you.”
Mark nodded, as if he understood that completely. “I don’t want to lose you either.”
They sat there for a moment, letting that truth settle in.
Ethan opened his mouth to say something else, but Mark reached out first, his hand sliding around the back of Ethan’s neck, his fingers warm against his skin. It wasn’t rushed, wasn’t demanding—just a firm, grounding touch.
Ethan inhaled sharply.
“Tell me if this is too much,” Mark murmured.
Ethan shook his head slightly, eyes locking onto Mark’s. “It’s not.”
Mark let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, his grip tightening just a little. “We’re going to take this slow,” he said. It wasn’t a question. It was a promise. “I need to take this slow.”
Ethan nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”
Mark’s thumb brushed over the side of his neck before he let go, leaning back slightly. “And before we go any further…” He ran a hand through his hair, smirking faintly. “I have to acknowledge the fact that I’m thirteen years older than you .”
Ethan snorted, tension easing just a bit. “So what? It’s not like you’re collecting social security.”
Mark groaned. “God, you really know how to ruin a moment.”
Ethan grinned. “It’s a gift.”
Mark chuckled, shaking his head. “Seriously though… does that bother you? The age thing?”
Ethan considered it for a second before shrugging. “Nope. You’re seasoned , remember?”
Mark groaned again, rubbing a hand over his face. “I walked right into that.”
Ethan’s grin widened. “You really did.”
Ethan watched as Mark rubbed his hands together, his fingers clasping and unclasping, his body language a mix of apprehension and something else, something deeper. It wasn’t doubt, at least not in Ethan’s mind. It was fear of the unknown.
Mark exhaled, shaking his head. “What about your parents? Your friends? What will they think?” His voice wasn’t defensive, wasn’t trying to find an escape, it was seeking reassurance.
Ethan leaned back against the couch, tilting his head as he studied him. “Mark… my parents loved you. After last night’s dinner, my mom wouldn’t stop talking about how amazing you are.” A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Dad too. He literally said, ‘That man’s got integrity. He’s a good one.’” Ethan’s voice softened. “My parents trust me, and I ask you to trust in that.”
Mark swallowed, his throat bobbing as he absorbed those words. His gaze flickered to Ethan’s, searching.
“And my friends?” Ethan continued with a small shrug. “Look, I don’t have a ton of free time to have a giant social circle, but the people I do have in my life? They’d say the same thing I’m telling you right now.” He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “That this? You? It feels right to me.”
Mark’s lips parted slightly, but no words came out. Ethan could practically see the war in his head, the way his logical, structured brain was trying to fit all of this into neat, organized box. But love—whatever this thing between them was—wasn’t meant to fit inside a box.
“Maybe we should go on a date,” Ethan said, a playful edge to his voice. “You know, try this out ? Like two normal people who aren’t sitting here acting like they’re negotiating a multi-million-dollar contract.”
Mark let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. “I like that idea. But Ethan… I’m scared.”
Ethan’s smile softened. “I know. Me too.”
Mark exhaled, running a hand through his hair before meeting Ethan’s gaze again. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted, voice quieter now. “But I can tell you that looking at you is awakening some… intense physical feelings in me.” His lips twitched into something between amusement and disbelief. “Feelings I definitely never expected.”
Ethan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, but his eyes danced with amusement. “I knew those boxers with the hearts were too sexy.”
Mark groaned. “You’re an ass.”
Ethan grinned. “Since we are being honest with each other. The other day when we were in the sauna, you definitely awakened some intense physical feelings in me too. Dude, your chest…”
Mark shook his head, smiling, but there was warmth in his expression, a light in his eyes that Ethan didn’t think had been there before. “You amaze me,” he murmured, voice sincere. “Not just because of all of this. Just… you . The way you are with people, the way you care for your family, the way you carry the weight of the world and still find ways to laugh.” His gaze held steady. “It’s one of the first things I noticed about you.”
Ethan swallowed, suddenly feeling a little too seen. A little too exposed. “Mark…”
Mark reached for his hand, not gripping, letting their fingers brush. “I want you to know that I’m here. For whatever this is. For you .”
Ethan stared at their hands, the warmth of Mark’s skin seeping into his own. He turned his hand palm up, letting Mark settle into it fully.
They sat there for a moment, not letting go. Ethan turned his back to him and sunk into his arms. Mark’s embrace made Ethan feel safe.
Mark whispers, “For the first time in years, I’m not questioning, not overanalyzing, I’m just feeling. Thank you for that.”
Ethan squeezed his arms and laid his head back on his shoulder. Mark leaned his head onto his.
And damn, it felt good.