Chapter 5
Gunner
What the fuck did I do? How could I have been so fucking careless with her? I shake my head as I think about this. I’m too fucking old to have another kid. Hell, both of mine are grown.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers once more. That’s all she’s been saying since we left the pharmacy.
“Stop sayin’ sorry. It’s not your fault.”
“It is, though. I should have stopped you. I shouldn’t have slept with you to begin with.”
“Nat, just stop. Please.” She nods her head, but I can see it in her eyes. She’s scared to death. She doesn’t know what to do, and frankly, neither do I.
“How long you been homeless?”
“A year. Maybe a little more.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to talk about that,” she tells me, which is fair. She doesn’t have to tell me her life’s details if she doesn’t want to.
“I have two grown kids. You met Kiki, and the other is Hodge.”
“From the party?” I nod my head.
“That’s him. Good kids, too.”
“You don’t want a baby again.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you don’t want one with a woman you barely know.”
“Didn’t say that either. I’m not one to walk away, Nat. I’ll be here for whatever you need.”
“I don’t know what I need,” she confesses. I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t know what to do in her situation either. This is a lot to deal with right now.
“Well, I know you need to see a doctor, and I’ll cover that. We have one who works with the club, or I can get you insurance. Your choice.”
“I can’t afford insurance,” she whispers.
“I said I’ll cover it.”
“Gunner? What would you do if you were me?” she asks. I don’t know how to answer that. I don’t know what to say to her.
“I honestly don’t know.”
“What if a part of me wanted to keep it? Would that bother you?”
“No.” I don’t need to think about it. It’s a life. It’s a small life growing inside her. I just don’t know how I’d handle a baby at my age. How would this work out?
“I should go.”
“You should stay,” I tell her. She shakes her head and stands, sighing.
“I need to go. I think we’ve had enough excitement for the day.”
“You have nowhere to go, Nat. Stay here. I’ll get you a room for yourself.”
“I can’t do that. Thank you, though.”
“Why not? You need a place to stay. You can’t live on the streets like this,” I point out to her. I’m about to protest. I’m about to throw my weight around, but I don’t know this girl. I don’t know anything about her and I can’t just force her to do something.
“I get it. I do, and I’m working on saving enough money to get a place, but for now, this is what I have to do.”
“No, you don’t. You can stay here.”
“I’ll come back. I promise.”
“Nat, come on. Think about this.” I want to know she’s safe. I want to know she isn’t hurt, and the only way to know that is if she stays here.
“I will. I promise, but for now, I need to go,” she says. I nod my head, knowing I can’t make her stay. I wish I could, but I’m not that kind of guy.
“You need anything, you come back, yeah?”
“Okay. I will. I won’t disappear on you, Gunner.”
“Good. That’s good to know.” I shove myself up and walk over, pulling her into my arms. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“Thank you.” She pulls away, and I watch her walk down the driveway, and something in my chest aches. How can she not want to stay here where she’d have a bed and food? Why wouldn’t she take me up on my offer?
I run my hand through my hair when Hodge pulls in on his bike. He shuts it down and climbs off, walking toward me.
“Who’s the girl walkin’ down there?” he asks, pointing over his shoulder.
“Nat. From the party a few months ago.”
“She came back?”
“Yeah. She needed to talk to me,” I tell him.
“About what? Didn’t you just meet that night?”
“Yeah. She’s uh … she’s pregnant.” Hodge’s mouth falls open as he looks at me and back down the driveway and back.
“It’s yours?”
“I didn’t use anything, so it looks that way,” I admit.
“Shit, Dad. What the fuck were you thinkin’?”
“I wasn’t, obviously.”
“So now what?”
“I don’t know. I told her it’s up to her,” I say.
“She wants to keep it? Are you ready for another baby?”
“Hell no. I raised my kids, Hodge. That would be startin’ over. I don’t know if I can do that,” I admit to him.
“Fuck, man. I don’t know either,” he adds.
“She’s young too. I might have just fucked her whole life up.”
“Don’t think about it like that.”
“She’s homeless, Hodge. I offered her a place here, but she refused.”
“What the hell do you mean she’s homeless?”
“Just what I said. She has nothin’, Hodge.”
“And you let her walk the fuck outta here carryin’ your baby?” He sounds pissed off, and I get it.
“I couldn’t stop her. She wanted to leave.”
“Then go get her ass, Dad. You can’t let her live on the street knowin’ she’s pregnant.”
“She didn’t want to stay, Hodge. I can’t do shit about that,” I protest.
“You could have gone all caveman on her ass! Forced her to stay.”
“You think that’s what’s best in this situation?”
“What situation?” I hear Kiki behind me. She comes to stand next to me, and my stomach drops.
“Shit!” I roar as she looks between me and Hodge.
“What’s happening?”
“Dad got some girl pregnant,” Hodge tells her. Her head whips around to look at me, and I nod. That’s all I can do.
“You didn’t.”
“Seems like I did.”
“Who is it?”
“Nat.”
“The girl from the party? Did you know she’s homeless?”
“How the hell did you know that?”
“She told me. I offered her a place to stay, but she said no,” Kiki explains.
“Fuck!” I roar once more.
“You got her pregnant? What the hell, Dad?”
“I know! Fuck me, I know. I fucked up.”
“You have to go get her.”
“And do what with her? She didn’t want to stay, Kiki. I asked her,” I tell her.
“Damn. This is a mess.” Indeed it is.
“What are you going to tell mom?” Kiki asks me.
“Not shit. She doesn’t run my life, and it’s none of her business.”
“You don’t think she’ll find out?”
“Eventually, but for now, you keep this shit between us, yeah?” I look between her and Hodge. They both nod their heads, and I know they won’t say anything to anyone. Of course, I need to tell the guys, but I have time to do that.