Harmony for Christmas (Dansboro Crossing #4)

Chapter 15

fifteen

BEAU

I know nothing can come from it, but I had to say the words. I’m not ready to let her go. There’s just no way I can make our worlds work together. I guess I needed her to know how I felt. I don’t really know.

I don’t know anything anymore. What am I trying to do, but make us both miserable? I really hope someday she looks back on this Christmas with a smile. She’ll tell her kids that this was one of the best she ever had.

“Dessert!” she announces with a flourish as we walk into the living room.

“Perfect. We were starting to waste away in here,” Travis teases. I think it’s more likely he’ll reach man bear status faster than I will. Especially constantly eating Trace’s cooking. “I have a question. I know the super artsy snowflakes are Beau’s, but how in the heck did you cut a nativity scene into that one?”

“It’s not hard.” It wasn’t, you just have to know how to fold the paper. Also, you have to visualize the area to cut out. “Okay, maybe there’s more to it than normal.”

“Easy for you to say. You got all of Mom’s art genes. And Dad’s brainiac genes. Also, all the athletic ability from Uncle Kyle.”

“And you got all of the whiny ones from whatever dog we owned at the time apparently.” My brother has always been under the impression that I’m the more gifted brother. He forgets how brilliant he is in front of a crowd. He will work his way to the Supreme Court one day, I have no doubt.

“But, Beau,” he whines, stretching my name into an impossible number of syllables. I respond by rolling my eyes when he grins at me. “Hey, when do we get to open presents?”

“Now, please,” Harmony pleads.

“Why do I have to decide?” I ask.

“Because you’re the only voice of reason in this house,” Trace answers. “But, yeah, I vote presents.”

“Then open presents,” I snap. “Jesus.”

I think I growled hard enough even the electricity was intimidated because it chose that moment to come back on. We all freeze as the Christmas tree sparkles back to life. The heater fires up, and one of the living room lights glows in the corner.

“Hold on.” I jump up to turn the generator off and check that all of the pilot lights reignited. When I return, Harmony has Trace and Travis posed in front of the tree while she snaps a photo.

“Your turn,” Trace says, pointing to me. I step behind Harmony and wrap my arms around her for a photo. He’s been taking them the whole day, but this is the first chance we’ve had to get the tree in all its glory. “Now presents,” he adds when we sit back down. “Hold on, how come nobody noticed the stockings?”

He grabs four from the mantle. I didn’t get a ton for them, but each one has candy and a few things for each person. Reacher has his own filled with toys and treats. He barks as Travis offers him a bone out of it. I watch as everyone digs through their stockings. Harmony’s might be my favorite.

“Whose signature is this?” she asks, pulling an old guitar pick out.

“Wait, is that the one that Dad had?” Travis asks. “The one with Billy Gibbons’s initials. That’s brilliant!”

“Oh my gosh,” Harmony says in awe. “I can’t keep this.”

“You absolutely can. Dad would have loved it going to you. He loved music,” Travis adds. “Nice job, Beau.” I shrug. It was Santa after all.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever gotten.” Her gaze catches mine. She’s hugging the pick. Her face lights up when I smile.

“Dude,” Travis says, pulling out a tie pin with Dad’s initials on it. The cufflinks farther down in his stocking match it.

“What is it?” Trace asks.

“These were Dad’s.”

“A lawyer needs a good set of cuff links and a tie pin,” I answer. I’ve held on to them forever waiting for him to be old enough to appreciate them.

“Shut up, asshole. You’re going to make me cry,” Travis sniffs.

“I love these,” Trace says, holding up a set of silver measuring spoons in the shape of bluebonnets. I found them in a small shop last time I was in Austin. Trace collects odd measuring spoons. I don’t understand it, but to each his own. “And so as not to be outdone.” He pulls my stocking out from behind the tree and presents it to me.

“Yeah, thought we wouldn’t think of it, didn’t you?” Travis asks.

“Well, you didn’t,” Trace points out.

Inside the stocking I find a gift card to an online bookstore. It’s so much easier to buy books for my reader than try to get to a bookstore or the library. Books are one of my must-have items. I just budget for them every month like most people do utility bills. There are also chocolates from a specialty shop and several other fun things.

“Thanks, guys.”

“No, it was Santa,” Travis reminds me. “When we were little, Mom had a rule that if you stop believing in Santa Claus, then he stops coming. I don’t think either one of us will admit to this day that he’s not real.”

“I love that,” Harmony says. “Your mom was a genius.”

“Don’t even get us started on the Easter bunny. Who wants to go first?”

“Let me,” Trace answers. He moves to the tree and fishes out a handful of presents. After handing them out, he waits anxiously as we unwrap everything.

“Music paper!” Harmony exclaims, opening hers.

“I figured you probably write on a computer, but thought it would be fun for you to put a song on it and frame it,” he explains. “Or give it to your favorite chef, signed, to put up in his restaurant office.”

“Thank you. That’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

The rest of us open our presents. I get a new sketch pad and set of pencils. Perfect timing since mine are down to the nubs. Travis gets an official looking briefcase with his initials on it. He spends forever opening every pocket inside and testing the locks.

Trace bought Harmony a silver cuff for her arm. She gushes over it until Travis jumps up.

“My turn,” he announces. He passes out his gifts, and we take turns opening them. Travis always buys me clothes for Christmas. I think he doesn’t believe I’m capable of clothing myself. I’ve explained to him a thousand times there is nothing wrong with buying your clothes at the farm store. I hold up my colorful angora sweater for Harmony to appreciate. She grins.

“Oh, Travis. This is beautiful,” she says, holding up hers in complementary colors. Is he setting us up for a catalog model-worthy date night? We’d look like something from a Hallmark movie. I’ll keep it, though, and bring it out when I visit him.

“Do you want to go next, bro?” Travis asks.

“Sure.” Standing, I wander over to the tree. Since I’m usually a crap brother the rest of the year, I try to splurge a little at Christmas. I bought Trace a couple of pieces from the knife set he’s been drooling over. Not the entire set—that would cost me the equivalent of a mortgage. Who knew knives could be so expensive.

Travis always claims just paying his living expenses while he works to finish school is enough present for him. I don’t agree. I bought him a set of high-end headphones for when he’s studying and a new laptop to replace the one I got him when he left for undergrad. He squeals and hugs it to him. I mean, that other laptop is getting pretty banged up.

“I made you something. Don’t expect much,” I tell Harmony, giving her a rolled-up tube. It’s the sketch I did of her. She opens it slowly and stares at it. I thought it was pretty good, but her reaction makes me nervous. I’m sure she gets this kind of thing all the time from her fans. It was stupid of me to think she’d want another one.

“It’s amazing,” she whispers. “You drew this?” Her blue gaze glances up at me. I shrug. Slowly, she stands and hands Travis the drawing. She throws her arms around my waist in a fierce hug. “It’s the best thing I’ve ever gotten.” Her lips meet mine in a searing kiss.

“Hey, I didn’t get that kind of thank you,” Travis mock whines at us.

“You missed your chance in high school,” she teases, stepping back.

“Dumbass,” I add without breaking eye contact with her. She grins back.

“But then, you wouldn’t have Trace in your life.”

“True,” Travis agrees.

“And I’m starting to think I like the older brother a little better.”

“Fair.”

“Besides, it’s my turn now,” she says, turning to the tree. Somehow, she manages to do a happy hop thing to it. All she needs is an elf outfit to complete the look. My mind turns for a moment to Harmony in a sexy, filthy elf suit. I don’t even try anymore to keep the thoughts at bay. I think they’ll be the only thing left to occupy me at night soon.

“Okay, I don’t have anything yet for you guys. But I thought you might enjoy a weekend in Nashville when I get back. I can take you to tour the studio and meet a few A-listers,” she says.

“That sounds great,” Trace says as he looks at a grinning Travis. “We can definitely carve out some time to do that.”

“That will be so much fun.” She pulls out a wrapped package from under the tree and lays it in my lap. “I made you something totally not as amazing as your drawing, but I hope you’ll use them until I can get the real thing.”

She watches anxiously as I pull the paper from a small box. Inside is an array of homemade frames. “I thought you could add more photos to the wall in your office. Maybe of you and Travis as adults.”

“That’s a great idea,” Travis says.

I slowly pick through the frames looking at each one as I lay it on the table. She’s used the supplies I found in the office to make them. One has a picture of us at Travis’s high school graduation. Another is obviously meant for a photo of Reacher. I hold it up for him to see, but he ignores me choosing to focus on the bone in front of him instead.

“Thank you,” I say, looking up at her worried face. “You’re not replacing them.” There’s no way I’m letting her trade for a bunch of soulless metal frames bought at a store. Each one of these says something about her and how she sees me. There’s even one with cowboy stickers she must have dug out of somewhere.

“I know it’s not much, but?—”

“I love them.” Taking her hand, I pull her down until she’s straddling my thighs. “I love them,” I whisper, pulling her to me. I kiss her gently on the lips.

“You never mentioned, Travis, that your Christmas festivities were X-rated,” Trace teases. I don’t care if they’re uncomfortable. This will all end soon, and I’m not passing up any opportunity to kiss Harmony before she leaves.

“They used to be very Hallmark,” Travis answers. “I’m not sure what happened. These are more interesting though.” Harmony shifts off my lap, and I let her go. If I didn’t have my little brother and his boyfriend sitting in the same room, I’d never let her go. “Speaking of, we need to think about heading out of this winter wonderland. We need to make miles while it’s still daylight.”

I stand mechanically from the couch. Harmony leaves to pack her bag. I help pack up the presents, including an extra I slip in with Harmony’s box. Trace helps me clean up while Travis hauls everything to their truck.

I can’t think of a thing that can prevent the inevitable from happening. She’s about to sweep out of my life just like she swept in. Fate is just too much of a bitch to care.

“Ready, sweetheart?” Travis asks as Harmony wheels her suitcase out of the back room.

“I think so.” I follow them out of the house. Travis takes her suitcase to the truck while we say goodbye. I don’t know what to say. I guess Harmony doesn’t really either. She raises on her toes, presses a soft kiss to my lips, and walks down the steps. She doesn’t look back as she crawls into the back seat of the vehicle.

I offer one last wave as they pull out from the front of the house. In a few minutes, they’re down the road. Just like that, our time is over. I don’t want to go back in the house. It’ll feel too empty without her in it. Reacher must feel the same as he presses against me. His mournful gaze meets mine.

“I know, boy,” I say, patting his head. “I already miss her too.”