10. Boone
I threw my blanket off my body as I stared up at the dark ceiling above me. I’d been attempting to sleep for the last two hours without any luck. Now, I was very aware that it was eleven o’clock at night and Juniper was still not home.
Dammit.
I scrubbed my face with my hands, hoping to remove the image of her standing in that godforsaken dress in the kitchen with her hair framing her face and her pink, plump lips accenting her pale skin.
It had taken all of my strength not to hurry across the yard, pick her up, slam her car door, and bring her back to the house. I didn’t like that she was going out with Kevin. I didn’t like that I wasn’t there, making sure she was protected. And I didn’t like that despite her desire to be strong, I could still see the fear in the back of her gaze. The fear that I saw so many times in my mother.
The fear that had my muscles so tight they felt like springboards confined only by skin.
Unable to lie on the couch anymore, failing to convince myself that all I had to do was close my eyes and sleep would come, I sat up and shifted so that my feet were solidly on the floor. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees as I dropped my head down. I closed my eyes and allowed the tightness in my neck to relax.
I needed to get out of here. This wasn’t good for me. There was something about Juniper that was pulling me in, and I was becoming powerless to stop it. She was so goddamn beautiful and fragile. The way she stared up at me, begging me to protect her…it was feeding a part of my soul that ached to protect something so innocent.
She was good. I was not. I’d deluded myself into thinking that if I protected her, that would somehow redeem me. That all I needed to make myself right with my past was to be her knight in shining armor.
At least, that was how it started. Now, I could feel a shift inside of me, and it was a shift that I wasn’t happy with. I was rapidly becoming aware that my reaction to Juniper wasn’t only about protecting her. It was becoming personal.
I liked her. And I was beginning to like her a little too much.
I cursed under my breath as I stood and made my way into the kitchen. I’d taken off my shirt—it felt like it was strangling me—and all I had on were the grey sweatpants I’d worn earlier. I scrubbed my face with my hand and then pushed it through my hair. I blew out my breath as I opened the nearby cupboard and grabbed a glass.
I was done trying to pretend to sleep. I wasn’t going to rest until I knew that she was safe and sound in her bed. I needed her to be here, where I could stand between her and anything that tried to harm her. Only then would I finally be able to relax.
I downed the glass of water and filled it again. After I turned off the faucet, I grabbed the full glass and a nearby magazine before making my way to the dining room table. I pulled out the chair that was nestled in the corner of the room. This allowed for maximum visibility of the kitchen.
I mindlessly flipped through what I could only assume was Mrs. Godwin’s home decorating magazine, every so often stopping to stare out the open living room window with the hope that I could somehow will headlights to appear on the road.
Headlights that belonged to Juniper.
In my sick and twisted head, those headlights meant she was coming home to me instead of staying with her husband. I cursed under my breath as I turned my focus back to the picture of a bedroom spread in front of me, which was only half registering in my mind.
I was ridiculous. If I had any respect for Juniper and her family, I would walk away right now. Mr. Godwin asked me to protect her, and the thoughts that were invading my head right now were the furthest thing from keeping that promise.
Lights from the living room window snapped my focus over. I waited, willing those lights to pull up the driveway. I watched as the car slowed and then took a right before pulling up next to the house. I wanted to stand and walk out the door just to see her get out of the car. I wanted to make sure that she was okay. But I knew if I did, she would know that I cared.
And I didn’t want to care as much as I did.
So I forced myself to stay seated, staring down at the magazine, but the words and pictures weren’t registering. My body was frozen as if any movement would pull my focus from Juniper. I would wait for the sound of the lock releasing and the door opening, then I would look up.
The headlights clicked off, causing the window to darken. I could hear murmuring, but I couldn’t make out what words were being said. Was Juniper on the phone? Was she talking to herself?
My ears strained against the silence as my thoughts raced. Had she brought Kevin back?
My stomach sank as that question ping-ponged around in my head. Why was she back with him? And why would she let him back into her home?
The front door opened, and I heard Juniper’s soft voice. “Good night, Kevin.” My hands fisted at the sound of his name. So he was here.
“Come on, baby. It’s been a while. Just let me in.”
My jaw clenched. It was taking all of my strength not to go over there and show Kevin how I felt about him. I wanted to show him how I thought men like him should be treated.
“It’s late and I have to be up early to get the store opened.” She let out a soft giggle, but I could tell from the sound of her voice, she was nervous.
And I hated that.
“But you said your parents aren’t here. You’re alone. What would it hurt?” His voice got louder, which meant he was pushing his way into the house. “It’s not like we haven’t done it before.” His laughter caused my muscles to flex. “We’re pretty good at it.” His voice was definitely closer now.
If he came in any further, I was going to have to move. I was going to intervene if he thought all he needed to do was say a few pushy words to get what he wanted.
“Boone’s here.” I closed my eyes, hating that my heart pounded at the sound of my name on her lips.
“Boone?” Silence. “That idiot from the diner?”
“Shh. Shh. He’s probably sleeping right now.”
“You’re alone in your house with some random stranger? Let me talk to him.” The sound of his voice growing louder had me pushing the chair away from the table as I stood.
Suddenly, he appeared in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. His gaze snapped to me, and his cheeks turned red. I stood there, waiting to see what he was going to do. From behind him, I could see Juniper trying to rise up onto her tiptoes to see around his shoulder.
“He’s my dad’s guest.” She wrapped her hand around his arm and attempted to pull him back.
She was like a fly on his windshield. One yank from his arm and her hand was dislodged.
“I think I should know the kind of man staying alone with my wife,” he said, spittle flying from his lips as he spoke. He narrowed his eyes and rounded his shoulders.
My head cleared, and all I could see was Kevin. There was a likely chance that I was going to have to fight this man, and I was ready for it. Sure, I might get stuck in my head thinking about Juniper, but when it came to war, I was ready.
I was always ready.
Juniper’s wide eyes and panicked look as she tried to catch my gaze snapped me from my focus. She looked scared, staring at me like she was trying to speak without saying a word.
She was worried, and I wasn’t sure if it was for me or Kevin. Part of me hoped it was for Kevin. That she knew I was strong enough to physically push this man from the property. But I couldn’t be sure. And that wasn’t a theory I wanted to test.
I channeled my lessons in hostage negotiations and turned my focus to deescalating the situation. Juniper didn’t want a brawl. She wanted Kevin to walk away safely. Even though that wasn’t what I wanted, I was aware enough to realize that this wasn’t about me. It was about her.
It was rapidly becoming all about her.
“Listen, man. I’m here because Ric—Mr. Godwin wanted me here. That’s all,” I said as I raised my hands in a show of surrender.
Kevin’s eyes narrowed as he flicked his gaze down to my bare chest and then back up. “Do you normally go shirtless around another man’s wife?”
I felt Juniper’s gaze on me. I wanted to look over to read her reaction, but there was no way I could break eye contact with Kevin. He needed my full and undivided attention. “I was just sleeping. It was hot so I took off my shirt. I don’t normally walk around shirtless when I’m a guest in someone’s home.” I glanced over at Juniper; her expression was hard to read. “Right, Juniper?”
“He’s normally fully clothed,” she managed out. Her cheeks flushed as she glanced up at Kevin.
For a split second, I wondered if she was remembering our encounter this morning when she ran into me in the hallway. A smile threatened to show on my lips, but I fought it. “I have no intentions with your wife”—I spat the word out like it was something bitter in my mouth—”I just want to keep my promise to Mr. Godwin and help out around here until they get back.”
Kevin didn’t respond right away. Instead, he just stood there, staring me down. Seconds felt like hours as I waited for him to respond. Suddenly, Juniper’s hand softly landed on Kevin’s forearm, drawing his gaze over to her.
“There’s nothing going on between Boone and me. I promise,” she said, her voice hushed as she widened her eyes and looked up at him.
Kevin’s body stilled. I could see the internal wrestle going on inside of him. Finally he stepped forward, wrapped his arms around Juniper, and she went crashing into his chest. My hand flexed as I watched him bury his face in her hair.
“I’m so sorry, babe,” he murmured almost so low that I couldn’t hear it. “I just miss you and seeing you with another man brings out this jealousy in me.” He tipped his face forward and kissed the top of her shoulder. “I just want you home with me.”
Juniper’s body was tense, and it took her a moment to register Kevin’s touch. I thought she was going to fight him off—at least I hoped she would—but she didn’t. Instead, her arms went around him and she patted his back a few times.
“I know,” she whispered as she stared straight ahead. “But it’s for the best if I stay here…alone.”
Kevin pulled back and looked down at her until he sighed and nodded. “If that’s what you really want.”
She met his gaze. “It’s what we need.”
He pulled her close once more, pressing his lips to hers. The anger inside of me was near boiling as I watched their interaction. I knew I should have pulled my gaze away, but I couldn’t. I wanted to will my strength to her. I wanted her to tell him to leave and never come back.
She was worth so much more than what Kevin was willing to give her. She had to know that.
But instead of pulling away, repulsed, and declaring their marriage over, she broke the kiss, took a step back, and folded her arms across her chest as if she were trying to protect herself. “Goodnight, Kevin,” she said softly.
He stared down at her before flicking his gaze over to me. He sighed as he turned and made his way to the front door. “I’ll text you tomorrow,” he called over his shoulder. He yanked open the door and then pulled it shut behind him.
Silence filled the space between us. I glanced over at Juniper, wondering if she was going to speak. I had so many questions to ask her, but I couldn’t seem to speak any of them. She looked so small and fragile, standing there in the doorway. Her gaze was unfocused as if she weren’t really looking at anything, just thinking.
I parted my lips, ready to ask her if she was okay, but she spoke first. “I’m going to bed,” she whispered as she turned on her heel and disappeared down the hallway.
She was gone. I was left staring at the space she’d once occupied, hating myself for all the words I couldn’t find the strength to say.
I grabbed my glass of water and brought it to the sink. After washing it, I set it in the drying rack and wiped my hands on the dish towel hanging from the stove. I paced a few times as the desire to walk down the hallway and knock on her door began to grow out of control.
I wanted—no needed—to know if she was okay.
The desire grew too strong for me to ignore, so I growled and headed toward her room. I stood in front of her door with my hand raised, ready to knock. I wanted to knock…
But I didn’t. Instead, I dropped my hand and stared at the solid white door in front of me. I wondered what she was doing on the other side. Was she sitting on her bed? Was she crying? Was she happy or sad?
I wanted to know…no needed to know. But reality hit me like a semi sliding on a winding road of ice. She wasn’t mine to know anything about. She was Kevin’s. She was her parents’. But she wasn’t mine.
And she never would be.
I closed my eyes and let my breath out slowly. Then I whispered, “Goodnight, Juniper,” before I turned and headed back into the living room, where I collapsed on the couch. I pulled the blanket up over my face and stilled my body.
I was going to stay here until sunlight crept through the blinds. Even if I couldn’t sleep, it didn’t matter. I would stay here until morning because if I didn’t, I feared my resolve to keep Juniper at arm’s length would snap, and I would act. And if I acted, there was no way I would come back from it.
Staying at the Godwin’s was the best thing that could have happened to me, and I would be a fool to mess that up. Mr. Godwin saved my life, and I was going to return the favor. Whether or not my heart wanted something different, it didn’t matter. I had a debt to pay and nothing was going to stop me.
Not even the soft-spoken, doe-eyed beauty sleeping a few rooms away.
I was going to get a handle on my feelings if it was the last thing I did. Juniper wasn’t mine. And she never would be.