24. Juniper
I didn’t feel better about Boone and what may or may not be happening over at Kevin’s house when I walked into Harmony Medical Center. I waited anxiously next to Mom while she checked me in.
I couldn’t shake Boone from my mind as the nurse led us from the check-in desk to one of the back rooms so she could take my vitals. I tried to stop worrying about him as I was brought to a bed where they used an ultrasound machine to check on the baby.
There was a brief moment when all the world around me faded away as the nurse pointed out the heartbeat in the tiny little bean inside of me. She informed me that I was about ten weeks along and that my morning sickness should die down soon.
But once the wand was no longer pressed to my stomach and the machine had been turned off, thoughts of Boone came flooding back.
I was worried about his safety. I’d never seen Kevin this bad. He was not going to take lightly a man coming in to interfere with what he was doing to his wife. I’d already witnessed the contempt he had for Boone when he walked into my parents’ house a couple days ago. I couldn’t imagine how enraged he must have been when he saw Boone barge into his rental and stand between us.
I knew Boone was strong. I just feared what Kevin would do when he realized I was never coming back.
I also worried about the deputy sheriff. Would Boone be able to accurately describe what had gone on? That he was protecting me? I didn’t want him to suffer consequences when I was the one who’d willing walked into Kevin’s house, thinking that he’d changed.
He hadn’t changed, and he was never going to.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the hospital pillow Mom had situated behind me. She was currently scouring the hospital for some food and a drink. My stomach was tied into knots, but I knew if I didn’t eat soon, the nausea would hit and I’d be making friends with the toilet bowl.
I focused on relaxing my muscles. My body felt as if it were sinking into the mattress. I was anxious and tired at the same time. It was an exhausting combo.
A soft knock on the door had me opening my eyes. I glanced over, expecting to see a nurse walking in, but instead I was met with a deputy sheriff. He had a notepad in one hand and a pen in the other. He turned as if he were about to leave, so I called out to stop him. “Hi.”
He paused and glanced over his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
I shook my head as I pressed my hands against the mattress and pushed myself up until I was sitting. “It’s okay. I wasn’t asleep, just resting my eyes.”
He nodded as he turned and then took a few steps toward me. “I’m here to ask you a few questions.”
“I figured.” I reached over and turned down the TV that Mom had turned on to give me some background noise. Then I set the remote on the side table and glanced over at him. “Okay.”
He asked me some basic questions about what had happened. He let me know that he didn’t want to push me past what I was comfortable with, but I just waved off his concern. I was ready for Kevin to face consequences for his actions. I was ready to take charge of my safety. I needed to for the baby.
If Kevin was going to treat me like a punching bag, he was going to suffer the repercussions. It was time someone held a Proctor’s feet to the fire.
I recounted the evening, but I paused before I mentioned Boone. I wanted to know where he was before I talked about his involvement in the situation. So, I ended the story with Kevin hitting me.
The deputy was busy writing down my last statement. I studied him, wondering how I could ask about Boone without raising suspicion. The deputy took a moment to read over his notes before he glanced up at me. “And Boone Grimes? What’s your involvement with him?”
I stared down at my hands. What was my involvement with him? Who was he to me? Who was I to him? How did he know where I was going to be? Had that been his truck I saw passing by? Why hadn’t he left town? I’d been so awful to him. Anyone else would have split and never looked back.
I sighed as I glanced up. I doubted the deputy had any answers to those questions. I would probably never get the answers to those questions. The best thing I could do was come to Boone’s defense. He’d put himself in a bad situation to help me. It was only right that I return the favor.
“He’s my friend,” I said, hating that I’d treated him the way I did. “He must have been passing by and heard our fight. He came in to protect me. Kevin…” I paused, my voice cracking from the pain I’d lived with for so long.
The deputy drew his eyebrows together. “It’s okay. Take your time.”
I nodded in an effort to thank him for his words. I pinched my lips together until the wave of pain washing through my chest had subsided. I took in a deep breath. “I’m not sure what he would have done to me if Boone hadn’t come in.”
The deputy sheriff was quiet while he finished writing my statement. Then he clicked his pen and slipped it into his front pocket. He flipped the cover of his notepad closed and turned his attention to me. “Thank you for answering my questions.” He gave me a small smile before he turned to head out the door.
“Excuse me,” I called out.
He stopped and turned. “Yeah?”
I swallowed, unsure of how to ask this question. So I decided the direct way was the best. “Is Boone okay?”
The deputy nodded. “He’s okay. He was pinning down Kevin when we got there. We offered him medical attention, but he denied it.” He gave me a soft nod. “You have a good friend there.”
Tears pricked my eyes. He was a good friend. The best of friends. I was an idiot for even thinking he could work for Kevin.
I swallowed against the emotions in my throat. “And Kevin?”
The deputy slipped his notepad in his front pocket next to his pen so he could fold his arms. “He’s been arrested.” He gave me a stern look like he wanted me to listen. “He won’t be able to hurt you again.”
I nodded. That was the hope. But Kevin was a Proctor. They had a way of getting out of things. “Thanks,” was all I could say.
The deputy nodded and then left, closing the hospital door behind him. I lay back against the bed and closed my eyes, taking in slow, deep breaths. Kevin was locked up. Boone had walked away from the scene. I should be happy, but I wasn’t.
I wanted to thank Boone for being there, and I feared that I wasn’t going to get the chance.
Mom came in with an armful of vending machine food. We ate and talked until I yawned, and she tsked me for letting her talk so long. She threw away the garbage, tucked me in, and kissed me on the cheek. She would be back tomorrow morning to be with me until I was discharged.
I nodded as I settled back against the pillow and closed my eyes. I wasn’t sure how much time passed before I heard the latch on my door release. I peeked over and saw the shadow of a man enter the room. He approached me. My heart was pounding with fear that it was Kevin, coming back to finish what he’d started.
I stilled myself, hoping he’d leave, but in the soft glow of the moonlight, I saw Boone’s face as he peered down at me.
“Boone?” I asked as I pushed my hands against the mattress so I could sit up.
He stepped back as if I’d startled him. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
I found the remote attached to my bed and turned a light on. My entire body froze when I took in his face. His eyebrow had been split open. His cheek was bruised, and his lip was fat. He turned his face away from me when my gaze lingered too long.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
He shook his head. “I’m fine.” Then he chuckled. “You should see the other guy.” He slammed his mouth shut as if he’d just realized what he said. “I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head. “Don’t be. Kevin’s an ass. I was a fool to think that he was someone I could have an intelligent conversation with.”
Boone studied me for a moment. My heart trilled as he held my gaze. I’d been so wrong about this man, and I wanted him to know that.
“Boone—”
“How’s the?—”
We both stopped talking at the same time. He studied me before he waved his hand as if to let me continue.
“You first,” I replied. I wasn’t sure how he felt about me—if he felt anything. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by asking for more. And I didn’t want to tie him down to this small town if he wanted to leave. I was scared.
He smiled at me before his gaze drifted down to my stomach. “Is the baby okay?” he asked, his voice going deep and protective.
There were so many things I wanted to say, but all I could do was nod. “It’s okay.” I offered him a small smile. “I’m ten weeks along.”
He raised his eyebrows before he winced and brought his hand up to gingerly touch his split brow. “Congrats.”
“Thanks.”
Silence fell between us. He glanced around the room and then back at me. “And you? Are you okay?”
I nodded. “I’m okay.”
His gaze drifted to the side of my face that Kevin had struck. It lingered there for a moment before he cursed under his breath and dropped his gaze to the ground. He fisted his hand as he shook his head. “I should have come in earlier.”
“It’s not your fault. I’m just glad you came in when you did.”
He studied me before he glanced out the hospital window. “Still…” He was quiet for a moment. “I should go.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really?” I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to know exactly how I felt about him. That I trusted him. That I had been wrong to assume the worst of him.
“I never meant to stay this long.” He gave me a half-hearted smile. “Harmony was never meant to be my home.” He paused. “I don’t belong here.”
My heart broke. I’d known this about him, yet I’d fooled myself into thinking that Boone would change his mind. He was transient. There was nothing holding him here but painful memories. If I cared about him like I professed to, I’d let him go.
I’d let him find his happiness somewhere else with someone else. My life was complicated, and he deserved something better.
“Okay,” was all I could muster. If I kept speaking, I would break down and beg him not to leave. That was the last thing I wanted to do. Boone should stay because he wanted to. Not because I’d guilted him.
“Okay,” he replied as he studied me for a moment and then nodded. “Goodbye, Juniper,” he whispered.
“Goodbye.”
He gave me one last look before he turned and grabbed the door handle. The sound of the latch engaging filled the silent room. I sobbed as tears began to flow down my cheeks. I buried myself under the covers and cried.
I cried for my previous life. I cried for the person I used to be. I cried for the baby and the broken home I was bringing it into.
I cried for myself. I cried for the fear that coated my body at the thought of doing this all alone. Sure, I had my parents, but this was my choice. This was my baby.
I cried for my broken heart. I cried for losing a friend. Boone knew all my secrets. He saw me at my worst and still stuck around. I cried for the love I had for that man.
But most of all, I cried from the realization that I was never going to see him again. Boone had changed me, and I was never, ever going to be the same.