25. Juniper
Mom was at the hospital bright and early the next day. She stayed with me until I was discharged. I was grateful to get out, and I was also grateful that the hospital was certain the baby was okay. They recommended a few doctors locally and in the surrounding towns for me to go to for prenatal care.
Dad was at the store when we got home. Mom helped me to my room, even though I told her that I could handle it. She shook her head and held my hand as she walked me to the doorway and then lingered.
I finally declared that I was going to shower and that she didn’t need to help me with it. She was reluctant but finally shut the door to give me some peace.
The shower felt so good even though my face was still sore from where Kevin hit me. I was ready to wash off the hospital and the memories of what had happened yesterday.
I was tired of crying. I was tired of the pain. I was ready to move forward into the fresh, new future. The only regrets I had involved Boone, but the image of him happily leaving Harmony was the only thing keeping me sane.
He was going to find his peace somewhere else, and I was happy for him.
Mom was on her computer when I walked into the kitchen. I was wearing a pair of faded shorts and a tank. My hair was damp and hung past my shoulders. I was fresh and clean, and I felt like a million bucks.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I made my way over to the cupboard and grabbed a glass, which I took to the sink to fill up.
Mom gave me a suspicious smile. “I’m looking at baby clothes.”
“Ma,” I said before I took a sip of water. “We don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl.” I couldn’t help the smile that emerged. I was ready to start feeling excited about this baby.
“I know, I know. I just couldn’t help myself.” Her smile spread across her face. “I get to be a nana.”
Her smile was contagious. “I know. I’m excited for you.”
“Come look at what I picked out.”
We looked at baby clothes for the next thirty minutes. I swatted her shoulder when she put a bunch of gender-neutral clothes into the cart and then proceeded to pay for them. She shushed me when I tried to protest, claiming it was her grandmotherly right to spoil the child.
I laughed as I settled back on the barstool next to her and took another sip of water. Mom was quiet for a minute before she glanced over at me. “Have you heard from Boone?”
I thought about denying that I’d talked to him, but I was tired of hiding things from my parents. I was better off when I had their support. So I nodded. “He came to visit me last night.”
Mom’s eyes were wide when she turned her full attention to me. “He did?”
I nodded. “Yeah. He wanted to make sure I was okay and to say goodbye.”
“Goodbye?”
That word felt like a dagger to my heart. “Yes.”
Mom paused before she turned her attention to the counter in front of her. Then she glanced over at me. “I went to Boone yesterday.”
It was my turn to feel confused. “You did?”
Mom nodded. “After you told me that you were going to talk to Kevin and there was nothing I could say to stop you, I went to him.”
I blinked as I tried to digest what she was saying.
“I wanted him to protect you.”
“Oh,” I said as realization hit me. That’s how Boone knew where I was.
“I’m so sorry, Juniper. I needed to know you were safe.”
“So you sent Boone.”
Mom nodded. “I went to Boone.” She sighed. “He was sitting in the driveway of his mom’s house. I’d never seen someone so lost. I don’t know the history there, but that man is hurting.”
Pieces of the puzzle started fitting together in my mind. After I kicked Boone out of my parents’ house, he went to his mom’s. If he came to say goodbye yesterday, that meant he had to be settling his mom’s estate. He was facing a past that haunted him as much as my past haunted me. But instead of having a family to support him, Boone was alone.
“I need to go,” I said as I pushed the barstool back and stood.
Mom looked confused. “Go? Go where?”
I glanced over at Mom as I rounded the counter and headed to grab my shoes by the front door.
“Juniper! Where are you going?” Mom asked as she followed after me.
“I need to go to Boone’s mom’s house. He’s alone, and I need to be there for him.” I grabbed my purse and fished around for my keys. “Please don’t tell me not to go.”
When Mom didn’t respond right away, I glanced up to see her studying me with tears in her eyes. “Go,” she whispered.
“Really?”
She nodded. “You and Boone were meant to find each other. If he needs you, you go.”
I drew my eyebrows together as my mom’s words percolated into my mind. Then I nodded. “Thank you,” I said as I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart.”
I pulled back and turned to grab the door handle.
“I’ll text you the address.”
I shot her a smile of thanks before I headed out onto the porch. She followed after me, lingering at the steps while I crossed the yard and pulled open the driver’s door. Mom’s text came in when I was heading down our road. I pressed the link, and my maps app opened up.
I drove until I got to the Harmony Cove community. His mom’s house was a few streets down from the entrance. I recognized his truck when I turned down her street. My heart was pounding as I pulled in beside it and parked my car. I glanced to the front of the house to see that the front door was open, which meant he was inside.
I hurried out of the car, slamming the driver’s door behind me. I headed up the sidewalk and up the stairs. As soon as I got to the front door, I peered inside. I didn’t know what I was going to find there, I just knew I needed to find Boone.
I softly knocked on the open door and waited. “Boone?” I called out, not sure if it was overstepping to just walk in. When there was no answer, fear crept over me, so I stepped inside.
If he was in here alone, I was going to find him.
I passed by some pictures on the wall of a small boy. I could only assume that it was Boone. The woman in a few of them had his same dark hair and blue eyes. She was holding him close and smiling at the camera. My heart ached for the small boy in the pictures.
Had he seen his mother get abused at that young age?
Seeing Boone with his mother made me realize that if I hadn’t stood up for myself now, I would have continued this vicious cycle. I needed to stop the abuse and keep Kevin away if I was going to give this baby a healthy life.
I didn’t blame Boone’s mother. In fact, I understood her. I just wished she had found the strength to walk away. To start over.
I got to the hallway that I assumed led to the bedrooms. Some of the doors were open, so I headed down it. The first door was the bathroom, but Boone wasn’t there. The next room’s door was closed, so I walked past it to the far bedroom. As I stepped up to the doorway, I paused when I saw Boone sitting on the floor.
Clothes and things were spread around him. He was clutching a blanket in his hands. I hated that he looked so alone. So lost. I couldn’t stop myself as I headed into the room.
“Boone,” I said as I crouched down next to him.
He glanced up at me, his eyes cloudy from pain and tears. He stared at me for a moment before he closed his eyes. “You’re not here. I’m dreaming,” he whispered as he tipped his head back down.
“No, Boone. It’s me,” I said as I moved to sit cross-legged next to him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and scooted in close.
That seemed to startle him out of his trance. He glanced over at me and blinked a few times. “Juniper?”
I nodded, tears pricking my eyes. This pregnancy was going to do me in. I felt like my emotions were constantly right at the surface. I was going to die of dehydration before I got to the second trimester if I kept crying this much.
Then he frowned. “What are you doing here? You should be in the hospital.” His gaze drifted over to the handiwork Kevin had left on my face.
I shook my head. “They discharged me. I’m okay.” I swallowed. “The baby’s okay.”
His gaze made its way back to mine, and he held it for a moment before he looked away. “Why are you here?”
He felt a million miles away even though he was sitting right next to me. “I didn’t want you to be alone,” I whispered.
He closed his eyes for a moment before he opened them again. “I’m always alone.” He stared down at the fabric in front of him. “That’s what I deserve.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t going to let Boone believe that anymore. He deserved to be happy just like I deserved to be happy. We were two lost souls, drifting in the night. All we needed was for one of us to reach out and grab the other.
I would be that person if that was what he needed.
“That’s not true, Boone,” I said as I bent forward to catch his gaze. “You deserve the world.”
He didn’t look over at me. Instead, he just shook his head. “No. I don’t. You don’t understand what I’ve done.” He paused as he stared at the blanket in front of him. “I failed her.”
“You didn’t fail her.” I reached out and cupped his face with my hand. Then I slowly tilted his face, forcing him to meet my gaze. “You were just a kid.” I held his gaze, hoping he could feel what I felt for him. “You are a good man. Your mom would be proud of you.”
His eyes brimmed with tears as he stared at me.
He wasn’t pulling back, so I was going to keep going. This was my chance. Boone was drowning, and I was going to do everything I could to reach out and grab ahold of him.
“Your mom loved you. My parents love you.” I paused as I held his gaze. “I love you.”
His entire body stilled as he stared at me. His gaze searched mine in a sort of frenzied way. I could see his doubt. Then he dropped his gaze. “Don’t do that. I don’t deserve your love.”
I hated that he couldn’t see what I saw. I slipped my hand from his chin as I reached up and gingerly touched the bruised and broken parts of his face. The wounds he got from protecting me. “I don’t deserve you,” I whispered.
My words had his gaze snapping back to mine. He stared at me, and I could see anger build up inside of him. “You deserve the world, Juniper. You’re beautiful and funny. You’re so full of life, and I’m…” His voice drifted off. “I’m dead,” he finally whispered. “I can’t pull you into my hell.”
Tears were brimming my eyes now. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.
He stopped talking, and I could feel his gaze on me as I pulled back just enough so I could see his lips.
“Did you feel that?” I whispered, flicking my gaze up to his.
He nodded.
I leaned in, this time letting my lips linger on his for a few seconds before I pulled back once more. “What about that? Did you feel that?”
His gaze turned dark as he murmured, “Yes.”
I flicked my gaze down to his lips once more before I sat back on my heels. “Then you’re alive.” I reached forward and rested my hand on his. “If you let me, I’ll remind you that you’re alive every single day for the rest of your life.” I shook my head. “I won’t let you die. I can’t let you die. If you do, I don’t know…” My voice cracked, and suddenly, his hand was covering mine, and he pulled me into his arms. He crushed me to his chest as he held me. His hand moved to my head as he cradled it against his shoulder.
“I love you, Juniper,” he whispered, his warm breath tickling my skin. “I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you at the store and you thought I was stealing garbage.” His lips found the hollows of my neck and he pressed a kiss to my skin. “All I’ve wanted to do was protect you even when that meant protecting you from me.” He pulled back, his gaze meeting mine before it drifted to my lips.
I nodded, loving his words and willing him to keep going.
“I was lost, and you were a beacon of light, guiding me to safety.” He reached up and cradled my cheek with his hand. His thumb gently brushed the broken part of my lip, and his entire body stilled. “I’m not the man you deserve, but I promise I will spend my entire life trying to become him if you let me.”
I smiled at him as a tear rolled down my cheek. “Okay,” I whispered.
His gaze met mine, and I leaned in, welcoming the kiss I could see he wanted to give me. He pulled me in, and I closed the gap. My lips met his, and this time, I was going to show him exactly how I felt.
Our lips. Our breath. Our bodies fell into unison. I rose up onto my knees and moved forward, straddling him as he sat on the floor. His hand moved to my back as he wrapped his arms around me and held me so tight that I feared I might not be able to breathe. He tipped his head back and my hair fell around us, caging us in.
The heat of our bodies and breath caused my head to swoon. His tongue teased my lips open, and I obeyed. I was meant to kiss Boone.
Never in my life had I felt so complete kissing someone as I did in this moment. Everything I experienced with Kevin paled in comparison to what I felt when I was with Boone.
I was attracted to him, of course. But my feelings went above attraction. I felt safe. I felt protected. I felt like I was the only woman on this earth that mattered. When I was around him, I felt like could do anything. Boone never made me feel like I was there to serve him. Instead, we were a team. He loved me and I loved him.
That was all that mattered.
We kissed until Boone pulled back. He didn’t let me go, he just studied me, his brows drawn together.
I frowned as I brushed my fingers across the worry lines on his face. “What?” I asked.
“Am I hurting the baby?”
I studied him. “No.”
He looked sheepish. “Oh. I thought maybe I was holding you too hard.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think there’s much you can do to hurt the baby.” I climbed off his lap and stood in front of him. I turned to the side and patted my stomach. “See? I’m fine.”
Boone was watching me, his gaze trained on my stomach. Then, slowly, he rose up until he was kneeling in front of me. His hands found my hips as he turned me until I was facing him.
His hands settled on my waist as he leaned in and kissed my baby bump. Once. Twice. Three times. Then he tipped his forehead until it was resting on my stomach. “I’m going to love you, little squirt,” he whispered. Then he pulled back and glanced up at me. “Just like I love your momma.”
My hands found the sides of his face. I pulled upward, signaling to him what I wanted him to do. He stood up, his lips finding mine before he’d fully straightened.
I kissed him, this time more passionately and more frenzied than before. He wrapped one arm around me and backed me up until I was pressed against the wall. He used his other hand to steady himself as his lips crashed against mine.
Never had I felt so loved in my entire life. Boone was my person. The man I was meant to find. Sure, the road to get to him had been broken and rocky. There were times I’d wanted to give up. But I’m glad I kept moving forward.
And I was glad that his broken road led to me as well.
I was going to love Boone for the rest of my life. He was the man I wanted to tell everything to. He was the man I wanted as the father to my child, as my lover in my bed, and as my companion as we grew old together. I trusted him with everything, and now, I was trusting him with my heart.
I was finally home.
And with Boone, I would never be lost again.