Chapter 16
Ruby
I’ve been at this facility for a little over a week now. It’s been interesting, overwhelming, confusing but rewarding.
I’ve basically moved into Mary Paulson’s room. That was the only way they would allow me to stay here. Besides the fact that I’d be helping his mother, Hawk also thought it would be a good place for me to hide and lie low. My cell phone has been turned off since before we left the motel, and it can’t be tracked at the moment.
Mary wakes up every morning, at six o’clock on the dot. The mention of Hawk, or Hawkeye as she calls him, has not come up again. But she is always agitated until I sit next to her on the bed. Once I pick up her hand and hold it into both of mine, she relaxes a bit. Then, I start talking to her, and she just lays back, listening to my every word.
By the time the staff comes with her medication, she just takes it without protest. The next few hours are quiet as she naps, leaving me with nothing to do until we start the whole cycle all over again.
Meanwhile, I have no idea how long I am supposed to be here for. I have no clothes to change into, and I am relying on staff to launder what I was wearing when I came here. While that’s happening, I wear Mary’s bathrobe. For some reason, me sitting next to her in that bathrobe seems to calm her down even more.
A knock at the door startles me from my staring at her now prone body on the bed. I am a little scared that she’ll die while in my presence, and that Hawk will blame me for it.
“Ruby,” the voice of Mrs. Clarence reaches my voice. “I brought you something.”
She walks in with a large bag that she hands to me. I stare at it for the longest time before finally getting it from her. I am surprised to find a variety of clothes inside of it, all in my size.
“Mr. Paulson sent some money and asked for someone to shop for you. I sent my assistant out to the mall. I hope this is okay…” She looks worried. “She is younger, I thought it would be more appropriate for her to find you something that you might actually like.”
Hawk’s thoughtfulness hits me hard. I was starting to think that he’d forgotten all about me while doing whatever it is that he is doing out there. Having no contact with him or anyone else from the outside world is hard.
“Thank you, Mrs. Clarence,” I whisper without meeting her eyes.
“Mr. Paulson also wanted me to tell you that it will be a few more days before he is able to come back for you.”
I swallow hard and nod in understanding, despite the fact that I don’t understand anything anymore. I have found myself in this impossible situation. I should’ve never agreed to help those bikers, I think to myself. The moment Bricks and Snake threatened me if I wasn’t going to do it would’ve been the moment where I packed my bags and skipped town.
I thought I could do it and get away with it, go back to my normal life once they got what they needed from my conversations with Hawk. What I got instead is an attempted kidnapping and me having to now hide in a mental care facility so that I don’t get caught while Hawk is doing whatever it is that criminals do.
“I just want you to know that what you’re doing with his mother is nothing short of a miracle.”
I jump when Mrs. Clarence’s words reach my ears. I thought she was getting ready to leave the room.
“I have never seen such a change in a patient before simply from another’s presence.”
I nod as I play with the material of a blouse I took out from the bag.
“The human mind is a complete mystery,” she continues. “No matter how much research goes into it, we will never be able to fully understand what goes on through one’s head.”
I finally look up at her. She has this gentle smile on her face, making me wonder if she could ever be mean to anyone.
“Unless they tell us.”
We both smile at my comeback.
“Yes, well, Mary pretty much told us in no certain terms that having you here is what keeps her mind at ease.”
I look at Hawk’s mother’s sleeping form on the bed. She’s been doing that a lot.
“What will happen to her after I leave?”
“It’s hard to tell,” Mrs. Clarence admits. “She might go back to being agitated like she was before you got here. Or she might forget you were ever here and remain calm like this.”
“How long has she been here for?”
“A few years,” comes the quick answer. “She is still young, way too young for all this to happen to her. It is a terrible disease.”
For some inexplicable reason, I feel sad at the thought of a young Mary suffering from such a debilitating disease. My heart is also breaking for Hawk. He seems to love his mother, he wants what’s best for her. He shouldn’t have to suffer as he witnesses her decline.
“Well, I’ll let you go through the stuff in the bag.” Mrs. Clarence prepares to leave the room. “Please don’t hesitate to let me know if there’s anything missing. We will get it to you right away.”
I nod in thanks, and she is finally gone.
The plastic bag makes a lot of noise when I start pulling things out of it. There are a couple of pairs of leggings, jeans, comfortable looking tops, and even underwear and a couple of bras. It’s almost as if Hawk gave them a full list with what they should buy.
I stand up from my seat, go into the bathroom and wash up. The new clothes are a welcome change after all the days when I wore whatever I rode here in.
I am just about to put the bra on when I hear the door to the room opening, then closing. Dropping the bra to the side, I just pull the top over my head and rush out there. I freeze in the doorway to the bathroom when my eyes clash with a man’s.
My eyes take him in, noticing every little detail. He is a biker, that’s for sure. He is wearing a leather cut that matches the one I saw Hawk wearing, which can only mean they are from the same club. I then notice the patches on his chest, one in particular. They proclaim him to be the president.
“Can I help you?”
I try to make my voice sound strong, but there’s a bit of a tremble right at the end. The man smirks at me before turning his attention to the bed. I am grateful for Mary’s deep sleep.
“I heard Mary had a new personal nurse.”
The man’s voice sounds cold. He doesn’t care for me despite not knowing me at all.
“I wanted to meet her in person,” he continues.
I place both hands on my hips, hoping that I exude confidence. I have a feeling that he would destroy me if he smelled any weaknesses.
“Does Mrs. Clarence know you’re in here?”
He laughs at my words, the sound reverberating against the walls. It is wrong, mostly because it is not sincere.
“Mrs. Clarence has no say in my comings and goings, little girl. I pay for all this.”
My mouth goes dry at hearing the information. When his eyes go over me, he pauses around my chest area, reminding me that I don’t have a bra on. I feel more exposed than when I strip.
I cross my arms over my chest, bringing the man’s attention to my face. He only smirks again. I have a feeling that he knows way more about me than I am comfortable with.
He walks over to the two-seat couch where I’ve been sitting for hours. When he drops in it, he spreads his arms wide and rests them on the back of it, looking completely at home.
“I’m a little confused how you ended up here.”
His eyes go around the room, stopping for a second to stare at Mary.
“My directive to Hawk was to eliminate you.”
I barely stop the whimper threatening to escape my lips. It seems like I am not as safe in here as Hawk was hoping. Then again, did he actually mean to keep me safe, or was it just on accident? He did bring me all the way here though.
“Why should he eliminate me?” I gather the courage to ask. “I helped him.”
He chuckles. “You’re feisty. I can see why they want to get their hands on you. You’re a bit older than their usual.” His eyes scan me from head to toe once again. “Although, I’m sure you’d bring a pretty penny.”
A panic attack threatens to suffocate me. My heart is beating in my head, but I can’t show him how scared I really am. That’s what he wants.
“I hope you know,” he smirks at me again, “that him not following my order will only get him killed.”
I gasp in shock at the implication.
“You’d kill me because he saved my life?”
“No, little girl,” he shakes his head at me. “I will kill him because he went rogue on me. He now cannot be trusted.”
My eyes fill with tears while my body starts shaking. I can’t control myself when I press my hands to my face.
“Bricks told me you were selling little kids into a sex trafficking ring. I thought I was helping him stop that,” I cry out. “That’s what he told me.”
A look of pity now takes over his face, but it doesn’t look like it is enough for him to spare my life, or Hawk’s for that matter.
“I had never met Hawk before,” I continue. “You’re telling me that I should’ve known and not helped Bricks because you are the good guys and the roles were reversed?”
I start crying. I am ready to beg for both of our lives even though I don’t think this man would care about anything I had to say.
“You both played with people’s lives.” I point a finger at him, then at me. “With my life. I somehow became a casualty in your stupid games.”
A pause to take a deep breath. The back of my throat feels incredibly tight, to the point where it hurts to speak, but I know I have to.
“I didn’t want to be a part of this, any of it. I was minding my own business, trying to make a life for myself. Until all of you descended on me and decided that I would be a good target.”
I look around the room we’re in. It looks like a cozy home, and if you didn’t know it was a medical facility, it could pass up for someone’s very large bedroom, almost regal in its size and decorations.
When I turn my eyes back to the man on the couch, all amusement from earlier is gone from his eyes. He is actually paying attention to everything I’m saying, and I need to make it count.
“I don’t care about your club. And I care even less about Bricks and Snake’s club. When they put their hands on me and threatened my life if I didn’t help them, I felt like I didn’t have a choice. I was not ready to choose death over you and your club. It is ironic that you want me dead anyway.”
It is now my turn to laugh, although, it is not from the heart.
“I’ll be the stripper whose life didn’t mean anything to anyone. Which is really my entire existence. I grew up in a trailer park, so people thought they could rape me and get away with it.”
I wipe at my nose with the sleeve of my brand new top.
“I then became a stripper, and people just think of me as collateral damage.”
I wipe at my face again. I then look him straight in the eyes, determination clear in mine. I might as well speak my mind since he’s going to kill me anyway.
“Fuck you, and fuck your club. I hope one day, someone close to you is in exactly the situation I am today. I hope they blow her brains out as you watch.”
I finally managed to surprise him. I’m sure not in a good way, but I don’t care. I’ve said my piece, got it off my chest.
A loud gasp, more like a silent scream brings my attention to the bed. Mary is awake now, her eyes looking around in distress. She looks scared, like she’s never seen this place before. And I suppose, given her disease, she never really has.
“Hawkeye,” she whispers right before letting out a scream.
I run and jump on the bed, both hands clutching at her arm.
“Hi, Mary,” I tell her in a gentle tone. “Hawkeye is out. He will be back soon.”
She turns her head and looks right into my eyes.
“He went to school?”
My head bobs up and down. “He did. Hawkeye is at school.”
Mary’s body relaxes a bit against the pillows, but her hands never let go of me. In fact, her fingernails are like talons as they dig into my skin.
“Hawkeye is a good boy. He got me flowers.”
I jump back a little but with nowhere to go when her lips spread into a smile. It looks unnatural against her otherwise frozen face.
“He is smart,” she continues. “Just like his daddy.”
“He is,” I assure her with a chocked voice.
Her hands clutch at both of mine still, and I am in an uncomfortable position. I almost forget about the man who came here to inform me of my impending demise until I hear him moving behind me. Mary hears it, too.
“Hawkeye!” she yells. Her voice is changed now, like she is talking to a little kid. “Come to momma. Right this second.”
“Mary,” I try to grab her attention. “Hawkeye is at school, remember?”
Her eyes move frantically around the room. I know the exact moment when she spots the man. Her mouth opens and she lets out the loudest scream. I scoot closer to her, trying to pull my hands away from her. The harder I pull at them, the stronger she gets in her hold.
“Mary, it’s okay. Hawkeye…”
“That’s not Hawkeye!” She starts screaming again.
I glance at the man who is still sitting on the couch, presumably Hawk’s president at the club. He looks surprised.
“Hawkeye is at school, Mary,” I repeat over and over as I watch blood running down my arms from where she is digging her fingernails in.
She turns her head and looks me straight in the eyes.
“Will you watch him for me after school?”
It is the same question she asked me on that first day when I got here. The worry in her voice gets to me every single time.
“I’d love to, Mary,” I whisper to her, telling her what she needs to hear.
She doesn’t release my arms like I was hoping she would. The pressure remains the same, and I’m not sure how much longer I can handle the pain. I almost sob in relief when I hear rushed steps entering the room.
“She needs her medication right away,” a voice calls out.
“No,” Mary screams. “Where is Hawkeye?”
I try to move my arms, but she won’t let go. I am at a loss of what else I can do.
“I got Hawkeye, Mary,” I yell into her face.
She stops moving.
“I have Hawkeye,” I repeat. “I’ll take good care of him, okay?”
She nods, but her eyes look cloudy. Whatever she sees in her head is not the reality of where she is currently.
“You will take good care of my boy,” she begs.
“I will, Mary. I promise you that I will.”
In the corner of my eye, I see a nurse approaching with a syringe. It is the medication they have to give her every day. Some days are harder than others.
“It will be okay, Mary,” I whisper to her, although, I’m not quite sure she can actually hear me.
She doesn’t flinch when the needle pierces her skin, and her eyes never leave mine.
“You promise?”
“I do, Mary, I promise,” I tell her again. I have no idea what I am promising, if it is the fact that it will be okay or if I will take good care of Hawk.
My eyes sweep across the room, clashing with the ones of the man still sitting on the couch, a stark reminder of my reality.
There is no way I can do either.