Heartbreaker (Havenbrook #3)

Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

HUDSON

I was more nervous than I’d been the first time Kenna had let me put my hand up her shirt. At sixteen, I’d cupped and flicked and squeezed her breasts like they were goddamn stress balls, acting like a bumbling, fumbling idiot. Which was…pretty much exactly how I felt now, banging around the kitchen, my hands and body too big for the space my five-foot-nothing mom worked in. My nerves tested more than they were when I was in my final phase of SERE school.

My mom and Lilah were both at The Sweet Spot, though my momma would be home in a few hours, since she’d opened at o’dark thirty that morning, readying everything for the pre-workday rush. I’d been home less than forty-eight hours, but it was comforting and a little scary how quickly I fell right back into the familiar rhythm the three of us had shared.

True, it was a little different now that Lilah had moved out. Once Nash King, prior tenant and current rehabber of The Sweet Spot, vacated the small apartment above the bakery, Lilah had snatched it up. Though, I didn’t blame her. She was twenty-six and had never lived away from home. Hadn’t even gone off to college. She’d taken a few business classes at the community college but was otherwise content to stay in Havenbrook and make sure everything ran smoothly for our family.

Something I didn’t know a damn thing about.

I tried not to feel guilty for that. Tried and failed miserably. Yes, I sent money home to help with any bills that might come up. And yes, I was funding this rehab whether my momma liked it or not, but it still didn’t feel like enough.

For so long, I hadn’t felt like enough.

All those years ago when I’d made the hardest decision of my life, I’d been torn on what to do, my head and heart in a constant battle as I’d tried to reconcile them both. Either stay enrolled in college like my momma—and Kenna—had wanted, eventually come back to Havenbrook, find a boring, nine-to-five job, and settle down…

Or follow my heart—and my dad’s footsteps—and enlist in the army. Become a pilot. Live the greatest adventure of my life—away from Havenbrook and my family and the only girl who’d ever owned my heart. And sure, my family had my money, but I knew firsthand money didn’t atone for all absences.

I was exactly the selfish bastard my sister had accused me of being all those years ago when I’d first left. It was no wonder Kenna had pulled back from me. She might’ve been the one to put on the brakes, but I knew damn well it’d been me who’d shoved a continent-sized wedge between us. And I hadn’t ever forgiven myself for it.

“Knock, knock,” Kenna called through the screen door before opening it and stepping into the house.

Shit, I still wasn’t used to seeing her in person. To being able to run my eyes over every inch of her, from her beat-up Chucks, to the ratty hem of her well-worn jeans and how they molded oh-so-perfectly to every shapely curve of her legs, to the off-the-shoulder sweatshirt that absolutely shouldn’t have been sexy. Shouldn’t have been, but fuck if I wasn’t half hard imagining my lips brushing over that delicate slope and curve. It’d been so long… Would her skin still smell the same? Taste the same?

“Did the army equip you with X-ray vision or what? Quit pervin’.”

I breathed out a laugh and dropped my head, shaking it a little. “Sadly, no X-ray vision.” Lifting my head, I tapped my temple and winked. “But memories have served me very well.”

Without waiting for her response, I strode to her in two giant steps and swept her up in a hug, squeezing her to me and breathing her in.

“This how we’re greetin’ each other now?” she asked, her words muffled, her face lost somewhere in my chest, her arms finally, reluctantly, going around my waist.

If I had my choice, I wouldn’t go a day without feeling her in my arms, so yeah. While I was home, I sure as hell was going to try to get my fill. Soak up every ounce of her so I had something to keep me company when I was back on base.

“Guess so.” I squeezed her once more before setting her back on her feet. Damn, she was a little thing, her head not even reaching my chin. I wasn’t sure if I’d grown that much since the last time I’d seen her, or if I’d just forgotten how petite she was. Or maybe it was that her personality always seemed to add a couple inches to her, so it was easy to forget her stature.

She shot me a tentative smile—that was new…there’d never been anything tentative between us—then focused on the spread of ingredients on the counter. “You do know I’m not gonna be actually bakin’ any of these, right? The bet was for you to fill my freezer. I’m just here to provide sarcastic remarks and look pretty.”

I grinned. “Well, you’ve certainly got the latter down.”

She froze, eyes darting over to me, a million questions burning in her gaze. Looked like we were traversing all kinds of firsts today. We’d had fifteen-plus years of friendship where we didn’t discuss our attraction to each other—though, after that weekend at my cabin ten years ago, I knew we’d both been feeling that and a whole lot more for who knew how long.

And then we’d had a decade of this weird limbo where we both knew there could be so much more between us, but we didn’t act on it. I’d wanted to. More than anything, I’d wanted to call her mine, even while I was half a world away. Honestly, if I’d had it my way, I’d have married her right then and there in that cabin before either of us had left to go our— temporarily —separate ways.

But Kenna had made her desires known, and they didn’t include the two of us together. They’d been her terms, and I trusted her to know her own limitations, so I hadn’t pushed.

But Christ, I’d wanted to. Still did.

Kenna cleared her throat and pointed to the fresh peaches I’d peeled and prepped earlier. “That’s a whole lot of peaches. How do you know that’s still what I like?”

I froze and lifted my head, my eyes narrowing on her. Last time I’d talked to Momma, she’d mentioned Kenna ordering a couple peach pies—her favorite. Had been the only currency she’d ever accepted whenever she’d helped in the bakery while we’d been teens.

“Don’t tell me you’re a blueberry girl now.”

She scrunched up her nose, her lips making this adorable little pout, and I barked out a laugh. “No, I’m not interested in the devil’s fruit, thank you very much. How dare you suggest such a thing.”

I grabbed a handful of blueberries from the ever-present bowl my momma kept filled with fresh fruit and held up my fist. “Oh, you mean these?”

Kenna scrambled behind her chair, narrowing her eyes and pointing a finger at me. “Don’t you even think about sneakin’ those in any of my pies, Hudson Matthew Miller.”

“Damn, girl, three-namin’ me five minutes in? That’s harsh.”

“You deserve that and a whole lot more. I swear, if you?—”

“Nah, I wouldn’t do that.” I tossed the entire handful into my mouth and chewed loudly, smiling at her through no doubt blue-stained teeth. “But how about a welcome home kiss?”

She gave me a look of absolute horror before screeching as I lunged for her. “Don’t you dare , Hud. Don’t you fucking dare!”

After a circuit around the dining room, she leaped up on a chair, her leg poised to hurdle the whole damn table, when I snagged her around the waist and pulled her flush to me.

We’d been this close since I’d been home—twice now—but it still didn’t lessen the effects her body’s nearness had on me. Especially when her heavy breaths brushed against my neck, her breasts pressing against my chest with every deep inhale. My cock was growing thick and hard in my jeans, and there wasn’t much I could do to hide it.

It’d be so easy to drop my head a couple inches, close my eyes, and press my lips to hers. Taste her again for the first time in way too long.

Would be so damn easy, except for the look of pure lust warring with absolute terror in her eyes.

I leaned down, studying every inch of her face, from her lips parted on panting breaths to the color high on her cheeks to that look in her eyes that stayed there until they fluttered shut the closer I got.

Instead of doing what my cock was begging me to—and what I was pretty sure at least seventy percent of Kenna wanted me to do as well—I bypassed her lips and pressed a wet, smacking kiss to her cheek, close enough to her mouth that my dick jumped a little behind my zipper.

Her eyes snapped open, the desire tamped down slightly. “You did not just do that.”

“’Fraid I did.”

“You’re a jerk,” she said, but her words lacked conviction.

“Not the first time you’ve called me that, and probably won’t be the last. You know I love goadin’ you.”

“What you love is havin’ those balls in your mouth, but keep those dirty beasts to yourself.”

I breathed out a laugh, relief and overwhelming desire swarming in my chest. I’d been so worried things wouldn’t still be easy with her. That I’d exaggerated our connection in my mind and reality wouldn’t come close to my memories. Turned out I didn’t have a damn thing to worry about.

The connection, the tension, the spark—it was all still there, only multiplied by a thousand.

I set Kenna on her feet and took a step back, brushing my hands together. “Time to get to work. What do you say we make this a little more interesting?”

“And how do you propose we do that?”

“Bet I can make more crusts than you.”

Kenna laughed. “You’re such a child. You do realize you’re in this predicament because of the last bet you made me, right?” She plucked one of the peeled peaches from the bowl and took a bite, her lips wrapping around the juicy fruit. I’d never been more jealous of a piece of food in my life. “Are you sure you wanna go down that road again? I figured you’d be tired of me wiping the floor with you.”

I shook the dirty thoughts from my mind, rested my hands on the counter, and leaned toward her. “Something you should know by now…”

She cocked a brow, popping the last half of the peach into her mouth. “What’s that?”

I stared straight into her eyes, putting as much conviction into my tone as I could. “I’ll never be tired of you, Kenna.”

She stopped chewing, her eyes widening slightly as she stared at me. Her gaze tracked every inch of my face, as if trying to get a read on me. As if weighing my sincerity. Good thing I was sincere as a motherfucker when it came to this. When it came to her.

Finally, she dropped her eyes, seeming to shake whatever thoughts she had right out of her head. She cleared her throat. “Name your terms.”

I couldn’t stop the grin from spreading. She was coming back to me. Slowly and reluctantly, but she was peeking out. The Kenna I knew and had fallen in love with was still there under the cynic she hid behind. I couldn’t wait to keep peeling back her layers.