Chapter 14
14
DARREN
T he pounding on Darren’s door matched the pounding in his head. He really should have stopped at half a bottle of Crown last night, but he hadn’t been close to passing out yet. Someone was yelling through the door and if they didn’t move away from it soon he was going to throw something at it.
“Darren? Get your ass up! We have church in thirty minutes!”
That’s it. He reached blindly to the floor, came in contact with his boot and sent it sailing toward the door. It landed with a loud thud. The sound of laughter had him reaching for the other boot until he heard the chuckling bastard disappearing down the hall. Fucking Jed. If he hadn’t made such a racket, Darren could still be sleeping. It was the only thing that kept him half way sane. The more time he spent asleep the less time he had to think about the state of his dick. And he was soooo tired of his dick ruling his life. He hadn’t been this horny since he was a teenager. If that fucker Crockett hadn’t decided to mix EZ Lay with something else he wouldn’t be in this mess.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed, his feet hitting the floor. He rubbed his tired eyes with the heels of his hands and groaned. Fuck, he was sore all over. He tried to remember what he might have done that would cause him to wake up feeling like someone had beat him with a ball bat, but came up empty. He remembered getting a blowjob from Sherry at Bottom’s Up, then coming back to the clubhouse to get shitfaced. Neither of those would have left him feeling this stiff and achy. Shoving himself to his feet, he stumbled into the bathroom. He cranked the shower on and brushed his teeth while waiting for it to heat up. He waited until he was in the shower, then pissed down the drain. Damn. Was it his imagination or did his piss smell like booze?
Once he was finished, he made quick work of drying off and getting dressed. If he wanted to feel remotely human he was going to need some coffee and lots of it. Maybe the caffeine would get rid of the rest of his headache that the hot shower had failed to do. He left his room and ventured down the hall to the kitchen. Seeing it was empty, he wondered how he’d gotten so lucky. He wasn’t in the mood for idle chit chat. What was wrong with him? Why did he find such relief in avoiding his brothers?
Probably because he had yet to fill them in on what happened during his imprisonment. There should be no problem with him telling them considering they risked a great deal coming to get him. A part of him was afraid of what they might think of him when they discovered he’d been weak and cheated on Kylie. That he continued to be weak. None of his brothers would judge him for his actions, but he figured they would lose respect for him. He was aware that they all considered him a loyal, honorable, trustworthy man. What he’d done and had been doing would blow that image out of the water. He didn’t even want to think about what the old ladies would think.
He went straight to the cabinet containing the coffee cups and found the biggest one he could find. He filled it with coffee and added three teaspoons of sugar before taking a quick taste. He added one more and called it good. His eyes roamed around the room, stopping on a box of doughnuts sitting on the center island. He snagged one out of the box and half of it disappeared in one bite. Pushing the door open with his shoulder, he started heading toward church.
He took a left at the end of the hall and stopped in his tracks, his heart stalling for a beat. Kylie was standing outside his bedroom door, her hand raised as if to knock. She looked completely unsure of herself as her teeth worked her bottom lip. Damn it. Seeing her uncertainty as to whether or not she should try to see him killed him. Things between them had never been awkward before all this. Everything had just flowed naturally. There was no one to blame but himself for the distance between them.
Frozen in place, he continued to watch her. Her strawberry blonde hair was in a messy knot on top of her head with little wisps already trying to find their way loose. She wore pregnancy jeans with a burnt orange sweater that hugged her belly and her favorite worn work boots. She looked sexy as fuck.
Kylie was his dream woman. Never in his life had he thought he’d ever find her and when he did and she already belonged to his best friend, he thought Tuck was a lucky bastard. He wasn’t happy that she belonged to another man, but he was content to at least be in her life as whatever she needed him to be. Then she and Tuck shocked the shit out of him by asking him to join their relationship as a third. His friend had known what he hadn’t even admitted to himself. Darren was in love with Kylie as much as Tuck was. Being a part of their relationship had been the best thing in his life. He’d never been so happy. And now thanks to Crockett, it was all fucked up because Darren was all fucked up.
He loved Kylie with every piece of his soul and he hated what she was going through right now because of him. Especially after what she just went through with Tuck. The honorable thing he could do for her would be to walk away until all of this bullshit with the drug cocktail he’d been given went away and pray that maybe she might forgive him when it was all over. He was afraid to hope that they’d forgive him and let him back into their lives, but if he could just be friends with her again like before, he’d settle for that. This constant internal battle he fought damn near every minute of the day was taking its toll. He felt like he was losing his mind and he didn’t know how much longer he could take it before he broke down and fucked someone. Trying to fight the pain that denying himself sex was creating was getting harder to ignore. Only coming once a day did nothing to take the edge off. Honestly, it only made things worse.
Part of him wanted to be able to go home and let Kylie be the balm he needed to get through this shit, but the decent part of him said he was crazy. Even if Kylie could take the near maddening urge he had to rut on her, the number of times he’d need to do it would be way too much for her while she was pregnant.
With Kylie outside his door something hit him. She would be here every day because of the work she did for the club. He couldn’t hide in his room every day and he couldn’t always avoid her. He was going to have to come up with different living arrangements until he got a handle on what was going on with him. Maybe he could stay at a motel for a little while? Maybe he should leave town? Surely, the effects of the drug wouldn’t last too much longer.
“Darren?” The sweet sound of Kylie’s voice, jolted him out of his internal revelry. How long had he been standing there staring off into space, before her voice registered? Had she been trying to get him to snap out of it more than once?
He cleared his throat. “Kylie. What are you doing here?”
She hesitated, still studying him, then replied, “I was coming to see you. I wanted to know how you’re doing.”
“About the same, I guess. Did you need something?” He took a drink of his coffee, pretending there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with him.
“Can we talk?” She held so much hope in her eyes. It felt like a knife stabbing his heart that she even had to ask. He’d wanted to avoid her at all costs while he was so tempted to give in to his urges, but it would be wrong. Not giving her the time to talk to him would be a dick move considering how much they’d been through.
“Yeah, sure. You wanna go in my room?” He motioned toward his door with his coffee cup. He followed her inside, closing the door behind him. He remained near the door because he was now scared as shit of a little woman. She took a look around and her nose wrinkled. He wasn’t sure if it was due to the state his room was in, which was a complete disaster, or if she smelled something. He took a deep breath and it hit him like a two-by-four. He might have taken a shower to get the stink off him, but his room smelled like stale alcohol. He wondered how she didn’t get sick. Then he felt even deeper shame that she was seeing and smelling this. He’d never been a neat freak, but he always took pride in what he had and kept it neat and clean. Yet another blow to his ego and one more reason he should steer clear of her.
“Are you going to eat that?” she asked.
“What?” She was staring at his half eaten doughnut. “Oh, you can have it.” He handed it to her, his limited hunger gone. He watched her as she finished it off in two bites. She licked her lips and fingers clean, then smiled at him.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” One side of his mouth hitched up, unable to fight the feeling her silliness provoked.
“Anyway. I’m not going to beat around the bush considering we’re not strangers no matter how much you’re trying to be.” Her hands fisted at her sides and her head tipped back so she could look up at him.
“Okay?”
“When are you coming home?”
He’d hoped to talk to Tuck first about him not coming home and possibly leaving town for a while. His friend would probably deck him and tell him not to bother coming back and Darren couldn’t blame him. He deserved it. What he didn’t deserve was Kylie. And she absolutely didn’t deserve what he was about to tell her.
He rubbed the back of his neck and immediately realized he’d used his hand with the sticky fingers from holding his doughnut and rubbed harder to get the glaze off his neck. “I’m not.”
“What?” Her eyes squinted and she tipped her head like she hadn’t heard him right.
“I’m not coming home. As long as I’m fucked up like this, I’m not coming home.”
“Darren,” she took a deep breath like she was searching for patience. “I know you have a lot going on, but the three of us are in this together. We have each other’s backs through everything. Tuck and I can’t help you if you don’t come home.”
“I’ve already told you I can’t because I’m scared I might hurt you. I won’t chance doing something that might jeopardize you or the baby. I couldn’t live with myself if I did.”
She took a step closer. “I love you, Darren. Please come home.”
“I can’t and I’m thinking I’m going to stay here until I’m normal again.” He wasn’t brave enough to tell her he was debating leaving town. He was aware that leaving town to fuck like a crazy person until he was sane again was more about his peace of mind than making things easier on Kylie.
“Worst-case scenario. What if this is your new normal? Are you going to hide from me forever? Does it mean you’ll never come home?” That was his Kylie. She didn’t pull any punches. She was fearless.
“I don’t know. All I do know is that I can’t be with you while I’m like this.”
Before either of them could say anything further, Jed banged on the door again. “Come on, man, we’re waiting on you! Move your ass!”
They stared at each other in silence, neither one happy with the outcome of this talk.
“I’m sorry, Kylie. I wish things were different.” He gritted his teeth and willed himself to move. “I gotta go.” He opened the door before he lost what little will he had left. He wanted nothing more than to go back in there, drop to his knees and beg for her forgiveness. Then, if he were lucky enough to get it, he would hold her tight, tell her he loved her like she was the breath he needed to live and make love to her until all of this was just a bad memory. He couldn’t do that, though. Right now he wasn’t sure he could make love slow, sweet and gentle, all things she needed at this point in her pregnancy.
He took a drink of his now cold coffee as he walked down the hall and almost choked. Damn it. No coffee for him. He took his seat next to Tuck and avoided making eye contact. Afraid his friend would be able to tell that he’d just spoken to Kylie and left her broken hearted.
“Glad you could join us.” Race smacked the gavel and called the meeting to order.
DARREN
“I got a call from Preacher this morning,” Race began the meeting. “He called to say that he heard we have a beef with the Phantoms and knew that we planned on going after them and their cartel buddies. He’s got a beef with the same cartel and needs to make a statement. He wants in on whatever we plan.”
“How does he know about that?” Dagger asked. “We got a rat or a mole again?”
“Who?”
“Bellamy?”
“She never talks about the club with her brother.”
“That you know of,” Dagger pushed, grinning from ear to ear.
There he goes. Stirring shit again . Darren wondered how Race kept from shooting him half the time.
“Fuck you.” Race pulled out his phone to make a call. He put it on speaker when it started to ring. “How the fuck did you know we’re going after the Phantom Furies?”
“Because I’m going after the cartel they’re working with and my guys saw your guys watching the Phantoms. I’m at the gate. I’ll be there tonight so we can coordinate our efforts. ”
“Fuck me,” Race rubbed a hand across his mouth.
“I’ll leave that to my sister.” The line went dead with Preacher having the last word.
“Ever since Bellamy and I started dancing around each other he’s been keeping an eye on Redemption. After Bling got shot up, he’s had people here pretty much all the time from what I can figure. They see shit and report back to him.”
“What the fuck?” Trick asked.
Race shrugged. “I know. I can’t stand the thought of a crime lord in another city having eyes on the club, but then again, I know he’ll do anything in his power to keep Bellamy safe. He can keep those eyes on her only until we finish things with the Phantoms. Once that’s finished, that’ll end and Preacher and I are going to have words. I don’t want him or any of his men left in Redemption or it’ll be considered a hostile act.”
Darren knew Preacher and Race had a contentious relationship, but did their best to get along for Bellamy’s sake. Preacher was very close to his little sister and would do anything for her, including take Race out if he thought it was warranted. Thank God Bellamy was madly in love with their president. The thing was if she ever wanted him taken out, she could easily do it herself. Preacher made sure she knew how to handle a gun. All she’d need him for would be for the clean up. No one would ever know what happened. And that was some scary shit.
“How do you feel about teaming up with Preacher?” Chris asked.
Race took a moment, rubbed his thumb along his lower lip then replied, “I’m not a fan of anything to do with Preacher, but…” he paused. “If we both have the same goal in mind, taking out the drugs that keep trying to hit our streets, it might be worth it to join forces with him and his crew. ”
As far as Darren was concerned, the more men involved, the quicker and more complete the destruction of the Phantoms would be. The way he saw it, taking out the cartel’s business was a bonus. All he wanted was to get his hands on Crockett and RIP. He’d come up with a plan on how to get even and it required them being taken alive.
“Chance still coming with his club?” Maverick asked.
“Yes. They’ll be here tonight.”
“Sounds like we’re going to have a full house,” Tulsa commented.
“Do we know where we’re going yet?” Jackson changed the subject.
“Jed, you want to fill them in on what you learned?” Race motioned for him to speak.
“I went to see if Sadie had any useful information. Thought since her brother had been in the club, maybe she might have overheard something that could lead us to the drugs.”
Just the mention of her name had Darren’s heart racing. Not because he wanted her, but because he worried about her. How was she and her nephew doing? Had the old ladies gotten everything set up for her? Was Oliver in school yet? Was she having any lingering effects from the drug?
“It took her a few minutes, but she remembered that she used to have a tracking app on his phone so she was able to see where he was at in case she ever needed to get a hold of him in an emergency since she was helping to raise his son. She was able to identify all the places he’d been except one.”
“Why was she tracking her brother? Didn’t she know if she’d gotten caught, it wouldn’t have ended very well for her?” Chris asked.
“After losing their parents in a car accident, she had this fear of losing her brother, too. As long as she was able to track his movements and see that he was okay, she was able to get by.”
Damn. Darren hated to hear about that. Losing her parents and then a brother had to have been devastating. Then having Oliver, the only member of her family she had left, kept from her had to have been unbearable. He couldn’t imagine how she’d done it for so long.
“Hey, you okay?” Tuck leaned over to whisper in his direction.
Darren frowned until he saw where Tuck was tipping his head. When had his leg started bouncing like crazy under the table? “I’m fine.”
“Are you?—”
Darren cut him off before he could ask if he was sure. “I’m fine.”
“We’re talking when this is over.”
“Something you two wanna share?” Race asked irritably.
“No. All’s good,” Tuck answered for the both of them.
“She give you an address by chance?” Jackson asked while Race kept eying him and Tuck like a couple of misbehaving five-year-olds.
“Yeah.” He rattled it off and Race pulled his focus from them to make a note of it on the pad of paper in front of him. “Hang on and I’ll ask Preacher if he’s familiar with the address.” He got up and left the room to make the call. It was times like this that would have been convenient to have their phones on them.
Conversations started up all around him and he braced himself for what Tuck might say while they waited for Race to return. He really hoped his friend didn’t get into their personal stuff in front of the others. He was holding on by a thread. The need to get out of here and fuck was riding him hard. Tuck must have seen the thin line Darren was toeing and left him alone.
Race came back and resumed his seat. “Preacher is very familiar with the area. They’ve been watching it ever since they followed one of the drug shipments there. He’s got a few guys watching the building and a couple of guys who owe him a favor on the couriers that usually transport the drugs to the Phantoms. The cartel has its own hub in Arizona that accepts shipments from Mexico before sending them throughout the U.S. He’ll let us know when they’re headed north.”
“Does that mean he’s still coming tonight?” Chris asked.
“No. He’s going to wrap up a couple of things in Lost Junction and be here in a couple of days.”
“I wonder how long they’ve been watching them?” Dagger asked no one in particular.
That was a good question. Darren also wanted to know how many more days they were going to have to wait. The need for justice was riding him every bit as hard as his need to fuck.
“Okay. That’s all I’ve got for now unless someone else has something to add.” Race glanced around the table and when no one spoke up he banged the gavel, ending the meeting. “Once we’ve got a plan, I want to move on it ASAP.”
Darren hung back, allowing the rest of them to exit before him. He had a feeling Tuck planned to ambush him once they left the room. Sure enough, as soon as they both had their phones, he grabbed him by the elbow and steered him farther down the hall and the opposite direction everyone else was moving.
“You need to talk to me. Seriously, how are you doing?”
“I’ve been a hell of a lot better.” He looked over Tuck’s shoulder, avoiding eye contact. It would kill him to see judgment in his eyes.
“Is there anything I or Kylie can do?”
Darren exhaled heavily as he swiped a hand down his face. “I wish there was, but no.” He stared into Tuck’s eyes for a moment, then told him what Bacon had found out. “Bacon says they mixed the EZ Lay with some other drug. So not only do I have a constant hard on, but I’m horny as hell and can’t do a damn thing about it. He has no clue what to do to help me because he isn’t sure of the drug interactions if he were to give me something. He also has no clue how long this shit will stay in my system.”
“Fucking bastards. What the hell is wrong with them?” He turned and paced away, then came back. “Who does shit like that?”
That was the difference between the Sons and the Phantoms. That Tuck would ask a question like that shows the decency in the men he called brothers. The Phantoms were nothing but sadistic bastards.
“You probably don’t want to hear this, but Kylie really needs you to come home, man.”
Fuck. He knew Tuck was going to say something like that. “I can’t. Trust me. I’m fucked up.”
“We can help you through this.”
“No. No one can.” Darren started backing away. “Just,” he choked, “take care of her.” He spun on his heel and bolted for the back door. If he was remotely lucky he would get outside, make his way around to the front and onto his bike without running into Kylie. He had to get out of there. It was too much temptation to be around her and not be able to touch her. And if he touched her, even the simplest touch, he’d need more. A whole lot more.