Chapter 3
Jiro
I had spent years honing my ability to read people, a skill that came with my position as Hoka’s right hand and enforcer. It was essential for me to discern guilt and innocence, to make decisions that would determine fates. But my training also allowed me to recognize pain and to sense the hidden turmoil within individuals.
As I sat across from her at the table, meeting her troubled blue eyes, I had seen beyond the facade she tried to maintain. It was clear to me that her situation was far worse than she let on. There was a weight in her gaze, a subtle vulnerability that betrayed the magnitude of her struggles.
She may have shrugged off my questions, deflecting with vague answers, but I knew there was much more beneath the surface. It was in the way she fidgeted, avoiding eye contact, and in the unspoken words that hung heavy in the air between us.
I had become accustomed to dealing with darkness and navigating the shadows of society, but there was something about her that struck a chord within me. A sense of empathy welled up inside, an urge to protect and understand her. I should not feel that protective of her; I couldn’t afford to make the same mistake twice. Anna’s association with me had sealed her fate, and I couldn’t allow history to repeat itself with her sister.
Even if I hadn’t suspected her financial situation, I would have as I stopped my bike in front of such a decrepit building that it made Violet’s previous place look like the Hilton.
“It’s temporary,” she said, her voice tinged with embarrassment as her cheeks flushed with color. I knew she was trying to downplay the situation, to assure me it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. But the truth was hard to ignore.
I nodded, even though I had my doubts about the temporary nature of her living arrangement. There was an air of desperation about her, a vulnerability that belied her attempts to maintain a brave front. She deserved better than this, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of responsibility to help her find a safer and more stable environment.
“Thank you for helping me…” she trailed off, her voice filled with a mix of gratitude and hesitation. I could see the turmoil in her eyes as she glanced at the run-down building, her expression pained. But before she could say anything further, she abruptly changed the subject, “Let’s go.”
We walked down the path; her steps hurried and stiff. I recognized that walk—the one taken when summoning the courage to face a difficult situation. It struck me how she seemed determined to keep up a facade as if she believed I would judge her. The truth was, I could never condemn her for the hardships she faced.
Despite her attempts to shield me from her struggles, I couldn’t help but question how her life had taken such a drastic turn. It didn’t make sense that her family’s finances had deteriorated to this extent, especially considering the monthly payments I had been making in an effort to make amends and tone down some ghosts haunting me. I had hoped that my contribution would ease some of their burden, but clearly, it hadn’t been enough.
As we entered the building, the weight of responsibility on my shoulders grew heavier. The realization struck me that the downward spiral had likely started with Anna’s death, and the consequences for her family had been far more devastating than I had ever imagined. The guilt gnawed at me, wondering if there was more I could have done if I had only known.
I observed her small frame as she came to a halt in front of a door covered with graffiti. Her vulnerability and the hardships she endured were etched on her face, and it stirred a determination within me. I was resolved to make things right, to find her brother, and to do everything in my power to rectify the wrongs that had plagued her life.
But as I made this silent promise to myself, doubts crept in. Could I truly save someone when I was haunted by my own ghosts? The shadows of my past lingered, casting doubt upon my ability to provide the redemption she sought.
I owed it to her, to Anna’s memory, and my quest for redemption to persevere.
“Honey, is that you?” a woman called as soon as Hope opened the door.
I froze at the woman’s voice and threw a questioning look at Hope. I knew that, for some insane reason, Hope didn’t blame me for her circumstances, but I knew her parents hated me. Having me there now, with her mother…
Hope’s eyes were so sad when she shook her head at me. “Don’t worry, she… she is different,” she whispered cryptically. “Yes, Mom, it’s me,” Hope responded, her voice carrying a touch of apprehension.
Her mother’s enthusiastic tone hinted at a shift in her demeanor. “Oh, this is wonderful! I’m watching the video of your high school graduation. Come, come, you were so pretty in your dress.”
Hope’s eyes reflected a profound sadness, silently pleading for my understanding as we stepped farther into the living room. The space was surprisingly cozy and well organized, defying my initial assumptions about the building .
Her mother was sitting on an armchair in a worn-out yellow robe, and a thick blanket rested on her knees. The years had taken their toll on her. It was visible in her gray hair and the lines etched on her face, serving as reminders of the hardships she had endured.
She looked at us and smiled. “Look, Anna sweetheart, wasn’t I right to make you choose this blue dress?” she asked Hope.
As I watched Anna’s vibrant smile on the screen, my heart ached with the weight of the past and the pain it brought to both Hope and me.
“I know! You’re always right, Mom.” The sorrow in her voice, the fragility of her smile—it all resonated deeply within me, stirring an impulse I hadn’t felt in years.
At that moment, I wanted to be her source of comfort and strength. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her, hold her tight, and promise her I would do everything in my power to make things right. I wanted to assure her that despite the darkness I carried within me, her life would be different, better, and brighter from that point onward.
Her mother was acting like I was not even there, which was somewhat of a relief because I was uncertain how I would deal with this version of her.
Her mom nodded and turned back toward the TV as if she had now forgotten that Hope was here too.
Hope’s fake smile, though strained, remained on her lips as she glanced at me. She was putting up a brave front, concealing her true emotions from her mother. At that moment, I realized the depth of her strength and resilience .
“Come on, let me show you to Leo’s room.”
As we walked down the corridor, I couldn’t help but notice a room with two twin beds. Hope was sharing this room with her mother, and the realization tugged at my heart. The cramped space and lack of privacy spoke volumes about the challenging living conditions they were enduring.
As I stepped into the small room she’d just opened for me, I couldn’t help but let out a low whistle. It looked like a hurricane had swept through, leaving belongings scattered and overturned. “Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you already searched his room. You turned it upside down,” I commented, hoping to lighten the mood.
She leaned against the threshold and shook her head. “No, it was just like… it was always like that,” she said before sighing with resignation.
I wrinkled my nose at the pair of dirty underwear on the side of the room. I might have been obsessively organized, but her brother was a true pig.
“What happened?” I asked as I continued to search the room, my eyes scanning for any possible hiding places or clues that could shed light on her brother’s whereabouts.
“About what?” she replied, her voice trembling slightly.
“Your mother,” I clarified gently, my gaze focused on the task at hand. I knew it would be easier for her to share if I didn’t look directly at her, giving her the space she needed.
“A stroke,” she responded, her voice filled with sorrow. “It happened the day before my high school graduation. I think that’s why…” Her voice trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence unspoken.
I glanced her way, and she had difficulty swallowing, blinking back tears.
The pain I felt on her behalf was almost overwhelming, and I was not certain why it was so intense.
“I think that’s why she thought I was Anna. I just… I just didn’t want to remind her.” As Hope spoke, her voice trembled with emotion, her words punctuated by a heaviness that weighed on her heart.
I nodded, unsure she would have appreciated what I really wanted to say. It was not okay that her mother just erased her from her mind; it was not okay that she pretended to be her dead sister just to keep her mother happy. It was not okay for her brother to be a waste of space, causing her unnecessary worry. Nothing was okay.
Instead, I pushed her brother’s bed to reach the vent on the floor. I crouched down and retrieved the small screwdriver from the kit in the side pocket of my leather jacket.
“Are you always traveling with a screwdriver?”
I smiled despite not seeing her; I could imagine the frown of confusion on her delicate brow.
“You know the saying, right? Always be prepared.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s the Scout motto.”
I turned my head to the side and grinned. “Well, Mafia men are Boy Scouts. Everybody knows that.”
I felt like a superhero when she let out a little laugh because, despite being short, it was genuine, and I felt damned good for providing her even a few seconds of amusement.
I removed the air vent to find multiple things stacked inside it. Gotcha !
“Won’t you get into trouble for helping me?” she asked as I was getting everything out.
I kept my back to her to shield her from whatever I would find inside this, but also to keep my emotions in check. I was used to wearing a poker face, hiding my true feelings behind a mask of stoicism and detachment. But Hope, with her presence and her story, had weakened that facade, leaving me exposed and raw.
“What do you mean?” I asked as I went through a stack of poorly taken photos of her brother in various sexual positions with a few men and women.
“You were just passing by, and now you’re helping me. Won’t Ora be upset?”
“Hoka,” I corrected her. I smiled a little as I opened a leather-bound notebook. She was facing all these hardships, worried about her brother, and yet she still worried about me… the man who’d caused her family’s downfall. I did not deserve her compassion. “No, he won’t be. I—” It was hard to admit it out loud. “I’m not part of the clan anymore.”
The silence that descended on the room was suffocating as I flipped through the pages of the notebook, scanning them quickly.
“I’m sorry, Jiro. For whatever happened, I’m sorry.”
As I crouched there, my back turned to Hope; I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the weight of her undeserved kindness. The genuine concern she showed me, despite knowing the role I played in her family’s downfall, was both a testament to her character and a painful reminder of my own mistakes.
Her compassion touched me deeply, and in that moment, she reminded me a lot of Violet. Both women possessed a strength and resilience that was rare and admirable, and it was no wonder that Hoka had become captivated by Violet. In a world filled with darkness and blood, finding someone like her was a rare and precious gift.
I took a deep breath, steadying myself as I reached the last page of the notebook to find a golden coin taped on it.
As I stared at that golden coin taped to the last page of the notebook, a mixture of anger and disgust surged through me. It was the token given to members of Killian Doyle’s sex clubs, a symbol of the illicit activities that took place within those walls. The realization hit me hard—the exorbitant amount of money I had been sending each month to Hope’s family had been squandered by her brother for his own perverse pleasures. The monthly fees were exorbitant, but now I was no longer wondering where the ten thousand dollars I sent to her family went. He was using it for his own sexual satisfaction instead of keeping his family healthy and fed. The anger I felt toward Leo intensified. Not only did he add some undue concerns to Hope, but he had also betrayed their trust and used the money meant for their well-being to fuel his own debauchery.
But as my gaze shifted back to Hope, I made a silent vow. I would not let her suffer any longer because of her brother’s actions.
I stood up and waved the notebook at her. “I’ve got everything I need to start. I’ll bring you answers soon.”
She took a step sideways to stop my exit, a frown on her face. “Where are you going?”
A similar frown of confusion appeared on my face. “To find your brother?”
She shook her head. “Not without me. I asked for help, not for you to take over.”
Oh no, I was not doing that again. The ghosts of what I did to her family haunted me way too much for me just to give in.
“No, absolutely not. You asked me to get involved; it’s not for you to get into harm’s way. Absolutely fucking not.”
“Absolutely fucking yes,” she replied, and honest to God, she stomped her foot with anger. I had to do my best not to smile at how adorably cute it made her.
I sighed, showing her the coin. “This is a membership to a sex club, Hope, and not the kind you think. It’s part of Killian Doyle’s Wonderland clubs, a place that caters to those with sexually depraved needs. Is that where you want to go?”
She raised an eyebrow in challenge. “Are you saying that to scare me?”
Yes . “No, I’m just saying this is not a place for a girl like you.”
If I thought she was annoyed before, she was furious now. She crossed her arms over her chest and widened her stance, ready for a verbal fight.
“And please do tell, what is a girl like me?”
Beautiful, kind, hopeful, witty, and fierce.
I’d been in a room full of deadly Mafia bosses before, and yet I had never felt as much apprehension as I did now in front of this little but fierce woman.
I sighed instead. “I didn’t mean it as an insult, and you know that.”
“Tell me, Jiro Saito. Do you know where I work?”
I narrowed my eyes with suspicion at her tone and side smile. I already knew I would hate the answer.
Her smile widened when I remained silent, and she straightened up as if she was about to give me the killing blow.
“I work at Sex Emporium .”
“Se—What?”
“It’s a sex shop in town. One of the most popular, if I may say so myself, so trust me, there’s nothing in your little sex club that can shock me.”
“ You work at a sex shop?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You? Little Hope Myers.”
She stomped her foot again, and I couldn’t help but smile this time. She truly was adorable when she was angry. “Stop seeing me as a child! I’ve grown up, Jiro!”
“Oh, trust me, I noticed!” I snapped back, effectively shutting us both up. I had noticed, of course I had, and it made me feel guilty to have let my eyes linger a little too long on her toned calves, the swell of her breasts, or how perfectly her body molded to mine on the back of the bike.
Yes, I had noticed and enjoyed it all, but Hope may be the only woman I’ll never be allowed to touch.
A heavy silence hung in the air after my curt response. The truth of my words lingered between us. I regretted my outburst immediately, knowing that my words had revealed far more than I intended.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to regain my composure. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for,” I said, my voice softer now. “I didn’t mean to belittle you or dismiss your maturity. It’s just… I have my own mistakes to deal with, and I can’t afford for the past to repeat itself. I won’t survive it this time.”
Hope’s expression softened slightly, her anger giving way to understanding and vulnerability. “I know you still feel guilty, but this is a completely different situation.” She breathed. “Anna got in the middle of something that had nothing to do with her, something you told her to stay away from.”
I frowned at the finality of her voice. “How do you even know that?”
She let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Because I was there. I was everywhere you were. The silly little girl with her stupid crush.” Her cheeks turned bright red at the confession. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t handle my own. It is my brother, my problem. I asked for your help, not for you to take over, remember?”
I crossed my arms on my chest, not liking that one bit but also knowing that she was right.
She sighed, relaxing her stance. “It’s a moot point, anyway. Involve me, don’t involve me. I’ll keep on looking from my side, and so be it.”
I gritted my teeth in frustration at her blatant rejection of her safety. “Fine, but if it gets too dangerous, you’re out. No questions asked, deal?”
She raised an eyebrow. “What if I say no?”
I took the few steps separating us and stopped close enough to smell her faint flowery perfume.
“Say no?” I purred with a lower voice .
She looked up, and I couldn’t help but grin at her dilated pupils. My presence affected her. Unfortunately, seeing how my body tensed, she affected me just as much.
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, sweet Hope, I may have to ground you.” My mind went completely blank as I ran my finger slowly along her jawline, making her shiver.
I quickly regained my composure, realizing that I had momentarily allowed my emotions to get the better of me. Taking a step back, I got a hold of myself and cleared my throat.
“Sorry, that was uncalled for,” I apologized, feeling a tinge of embarrassment.
Hope nodded, her cheeks slightly flushed. “It’s alright,” she stated, her voice somewhat breathless. “So, we’re good?”
No, we’re not. I nodded. “Yes, but we can’t just barge into the club, coin or not. It’s the best way to get shot. Let me arrange something through Hoka, and we can take it from there. I’ll come here tomorrow, and we’ll talk.”
She shook her head, and I was ready to fight when she extended her hand to me. “I have to do a double shift tomorrow because I ditched today. Let me give you my number.”
I gave her my phone and watched as her graceful fingers moved quickly on the screen. “I can come see you at work. Where are you working?”
She frowned, giving me back my phone. “I told you, Sex Emporium.”
“You’re not working in a sex shop. ”
She glared. “Think what you will, Jiro Saito. It’s not like I can argue with you.” She pushed from where she stood and gestured to me. “I will see you tomorrow.”
I nodded, acknowledging her frustration and the unspoken tension between us. “Okay, see you tomorrow,” I replied, trying to keep my tone neutral.
As I turned to leave, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of emotions. The unresolved tension between us left a lingering heaviness in the air, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that much was left unsaid.
But for now, focusing on finding her brother was the priority.