Her Fearless Ronin (The Syndicates #4)

Chapter 4

Jiro

T hings didn’t turn out at all like I had planned. Visiting Anna’s grave was supposed to be just a quick stop, a personal introspection, one of the many ghosts I wanted to face and try to exorcise.

And then there was Hope… The proverbial hope showed up in the shape of probably the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and the only girl I could never have.

But I could help her, make her life a little better. I had the power to do that, and I wanted to, even if it was the last thing I did.

This was why I was now in a hotel room by the airport instead of being on my way to the next step of my trip.

Where were you going, anyway? The insidious, mocking voice of my conscience asked. I didn’t know. I had known nothing except getting on my bike and driving away from Hoka and his new happiness, knowing that my presence would cause him far more trouble than necessary.

I stepped out of the bathroom after my shower and looked at the golden coin that rested beside my phone on the night table.

The internal conflict raged within me as I weighed the options. On the one hand, I could handle the situation on my own, ensuring Hope’s safety and sparing her from the dark and dangerous world I suspected her brother was involved in. It would be quicker and more efficient, allowing me to provide her with the answers she sought without putting her at risk.

On the other hand, the thought of her being disappointed, angry, or betrayed by my actions pained me deeply. The idea of leaving her looking at me with any negative emotions was infuriating and unbearable.

I sighed, tightened my wet hair into a bun, and called Hoka.

“Brother, how is the ‘introspection tour’ treating you?”

I rolled my eyes. “How’s fatherhood treating you? ”

He sighed in contentment. “Honestly? It’s the best thing in the world. I wake up every morning, and I almost can’t believe it’s all real, and then I go see Yuko and…” He sighed again. “I’m so blessed.”

I nodded as guilt crept up again. I almost robbed him of this bliss, all because of my past. I knew he and Violet forgave me despite me being undeserving.

“How is Violet?”

Hoka chuckled. “Violet is a warrior. She is already up and running like she didn’t just have a baby. Let me tell you, I will never understand why women are seen as weak. They can take us any day of the week.”

I couldn’t help but smile, thinking about how Hope stood in my way, ready to fight despite knowing who I used to be.

“I could not agree more.”

“What do you need?”

“Why do you say I need something? I may just be calling to check on you.”

“You may…” he conceded. “But knowing I saw you less than a week ago, I’m sure there’s more.”

I sighed, deciding to get straight to the point. “I need to get into one of Doyle’s Wonderland clubs.”

Hoka whistled between his teeth. “I know you’re kinky with the weird piercing you have, but I’m sure you can find whatever you need in any other club. Benetti said something about the Refectory or something in New York.”

“I’m still on the West Coast, and I need to get into this one. It’s complicated.” Boy, was it complicated.

“Which one?”

“Seattle. ”

“Seattle…” he trailed off, and I knew it would not take him long to make the connection. “Why are you in Seattle, Jiro?”

“Her brother has gone missing.” I knew it was better to come clean now; Hoka would know one way or another.

“Jiro.” My name in his mouth carried so much weariness and worry that I was not sure I could ease him right now. “How do you even know that?”

I couldn’t blame him for being worried about me stepping back into Anna’s world again. He’d been so concerned about losing me. The bullets didn’t finish the job, but my mind almost did, and it took months to get me out of the depths of depression.

“But this time, it’s different. I’m different.” I took a deep breath, steadying myself as I continued. “Her brother has gone missing, and her sister, Hope, just appeared where I was. It was fate, Hoka, and I know you believe in fate.”

There was a moment of silence on the other end, and I could almost feel Hoka processing the information. I knew he would understand. Violet was his destiny; he’d known that from the moment they’d locked eyes.

I sighed. “I couldn’t turn her away, not when I saw the pain in her eyes, the weight she carries. I want to find him, to bring him back safe, and to help Hope find the answers she seeks. But I need to enter one of Doyle’s Wonderland clubs in Seattle to get the information we need.”

Hoka muttered under his breath. “Getting into Doyle’s world is difficult, but I’ll have a word with Sandro. Maybe he can help. ”

I pursed my lips. “I’m sure Alessandro Benetti is dying to help me after all the pain I caused his sister.”

“You didn’t cause his sister pain. He did, and you took the fall for him. He owes you that much.”

“I didn’t do it for him.” I was selfless up to a point, and I would never have stepped away from my life, my culture, everything I knew for anyone other than Hoka.

“I know you didn’t.” Hoka’s voice was much softer now. “I’m worried. This place—this family—brings back a lot of dark, scary times. I almost lost you,” he admitted, and it was something else that Violet changed in him. He was showing his vulnerabilities now, his doubts, not with everyone, of course, but with the people close to him.

I had difficulty swallowing past the lump of emotions in my throat. There were few people I considered family in this world, and Hoka was it.

“I’m not the same Jiro as I was back then, and I can’t walk away just like you would not walk away if Violet had an issue.”

“Do you— Was Anna your Violet?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.” I looked down at the golden token on my night table. “I was… we were really young, and she was the first girl I ever loved.” The only girl I ever allowed myself to love . “And it was almost fleeting. We never got time to come down from the height of passion.”

“I see.” I didn’t miss the cautiousness in his voice.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

I sighed. “Hoka, I thought we were past that.”

“I just—” He sighed. “I just think that if she had been your ikigai , you would know.”

I nodded mutedly. I’d suspected that much once I saw how Hoka loved Violet and how fiercely she loved him back, but it didn’t change the fact that her life had been cut short because of me and that an innocent was now six feet under because of my foolishness.

“I need this, Hoka. I need to make amends no matter how foolish it is. I failed you when I didn’t support you with Violet. Don’t make the same mistake.”

He muttered something under his breath and let out a sigh. “Okay, I’ll take care of it. Doyle can be…”

“An asshole, yeah.”

“Do you need any help?”

I couldn’t help the lump of sorrow that formed in my throat. We both knew he couldn’t help, not if he didn’t want to get himself into more trouble than he already had been. A lesser boss would have been taken down already, with all the exceptions he had made to the Bushido, the ultimate being his marriage to an outsider, and not any outsider, but the sister of an Italian Mafia boss. He had to shun me for the sacrifice I made to ensure his happiness. A sacrifice I owed him after almost destroying his life.

“You know you can’t, and I’m okay. It’s way beneath my pay grade.”

He laughed at my poor attempt at a joke. “Well, the offer stands nonetheless. I’m sure Oda would love to come help, and I’m also almost certain Alessandro would be happy to get rid of him for a while. The kid drives him crazy.”

I chuckled. “I’m sure he’s doing it because he knows it pisses him off. ”

Hoka laughed, too. “Yeah, I’m sure of it.”

“I’ll let you know if I need help, but frankly, I don’t think I do. It’s so pathetically banal, and it’s something we’ve seen a million times. But I’ll let you know if it gets out of hand,” I added quickly.

“Okay, and if you want to look into things, all the passwords are the same.”

I smiled at that. “Yes, I figured they were. This is my mission tonight.” I was planning to look into Hope’s life. I saw the sorrow in her face despite how much she was trying to dismiss it, and I wanted to see how deep it ran. I let out a sigh. “You let me know as soon as you hear from Doyle.”

“Will do, and you keep in touch, okay?”

“Always. Say hello to Violet for me.”

Hoka chuckled. “She’s listening. She also worries about you.”

That added a fresh coat to the guilt I would probably always carry for the pain I caused her and the loss I couldn’t help but feel responsible for. All because I had let my past cloud my judgment.

I opened my mouth to tell them I didn’t deserve an ounce of their worry, but they were too stubborn to listen anyway.

“You have a newborn at home. You have better things to do than worry about little old me. Just let me know when Doyle approves, okay? Speak soon.”

Before he expressed any further worry, I hung up and settled on the bed with my laptop to dive into the extensive background research and serious invasion of privacy I was about to commit.

I couldn’t help but smile a little, imagining how furious Hope would have been if she found out what I was about to do. She was so beautiful when she was angry.

Don’t think of her that way. You have no right to do so. You ruined her life.

I spent the next few hours looking into Hope’s life for the past few years, and while I had suspected it had been bad despite her dismissal and humbling strength, I had not expected it to be that bad.

Her father had died of a heart attack barely a year after Anna’s death, and she was left with a grieving, overwhelmed mother and an angry older brother.

I kept on reading despite the growing discomfort. Her mother gave Leo complete control of the finances, and this was when the financial hemorrhage started.

I pursed my lips as my desire to find Anna’s brother dimmed as my dislike of him increased with each instance of his frivolous spending. If it were up to me, I’d let him rot in whatever mess he’d put himself in. But there was Hope and how worried she was, how she was looking at me like her knight in shining armor, and I could not let her down. Not again.

I sighed and shook my head, continuing to discover the train wreck her life had been.

She did impressively well at school despite having to work from age sixteen, and then she had to drop out of college despite her stellar grades when her mother got diagnosed with an early onset of Alzheimer’s.

I leaned back against my pillow and closed my eyes. How this woman still transpired so much positivity was beyond me. I was completely in awe of her strength. She was much braver than I had ever been.

I groaned, running my hand down my face, knowing that her waste-of-space brother never stepped up, forcing her to do it. The situation was shitty, but he was the oldest. He should have taken care of her, not let her fend for herself and her mother—leaving them barely surviving.

I was going to find the fucker and force him into a room to explain to him what the situation would be like from now on. I had no qualms about threatening and maiming him a little. Hope deserved a better life, and while I could not be the one offering it to her, I could damn well make sure she’d get it one way or another.

I made myself a promise at that moment: I would save her silly brother and save her, too, even if she didn’t know she needed saving.

Hope Myers was my mission, my purpose, and my way to atone for my sins, and I would bleed to make it right.