Her Forever Billionaire: An instalove, one night only, accidental pregnancy, billionaire boyfriend r

Chapter 12

Kelsioperated on sub-normal capacity all day. She’d have to catch up on work in the upcoming weekend again. Theoretically that was no problem, because by then she wouldn’t have anyone around to distract her.

But Jack was in her head distracting her now. His words repeated round and round, making her feel really, really bad. She hadn’t thought about the full implication of her threat, she’d just hit out because she was hurt.

If she was honest, she’d admit he had a point. He’d been doing everything he could, while she’d stropped around all preoccupied by her insecurities and yearnings for him. She’d protested she was trying to protect her child, but it was all about protecting herself. Her need to carve him from her life was purely for self-preservation. But the baby didn’t deserve to miss out on all the good things he had to offer. Lots of people had all kinds of co-parenting arrangements that worked beautifully. She was just going to have to toughen up and get over wanting so much more from him.

But oh, it hurt. How deeply she’d fallen for him. How sky-high her dreams had travelled. They crashed now.

She got home and to her relief he wasn’t there. But his presence, his force of will, was evident everywhere—and his incredible productivity. The downstairs flats had been gutted and the space opened up so the skeleton—and flaws—could be seen. They just had to fix up all the failings and finalise the design of the rebuild. He’d been attentive to her physical security on other levels, too, cooking her dinner night after night, breakfast in the morning. All this while still driven in his own rehab exercise regime. There weren’t any wild nights on the town or millions of women. There was only consistent effort—from him. Getting the job done so he could get back to the good bits.

And was that so bad of him? Was it wrong to be so determined to fulfil his dreams and ambitions? People had to be driven to achieve and the world needed achievers in all kinds of disciplines. He’d learned the lesson from his father’s choices—that he had to prioritise. And in his chosen field there was a time limit. Could she really expect him to give that up?

No. And she didn’t want to either.

But maybe it was time for her to think about her own dreams, too—for her own career, for her own longing to travel. Couldn’t she do that, too?

She looked out the window at Jack’s makeshift skate park. The man knew how to make the most out of every inch of space and of every moment.

She definitely wanted her child to grow up believing dreams were attainable—its own dreams, not those put upon it by parents. And maybe Jack was right—maybe it was work ones that mattered, not relationships. If that meant her baby saw her set up her own web design company, then great. And if it meant standing on the side of a mountain and watching Jack hurtle down it faster than the speed of light, then so be it.

But the streaming ideas didn’t fix the glitch in her heart. Yes, she could start up her own company. Yes, she could travel. But, fool that she was, she wanted to do all that with him. Yet that wasn’t an option that had even crossed his mind.

So while she’d teach her baby about following its dreams, she’d give it a base, too—the home and security she knew were so necessary. They might not be for Jack, but they were for most normal people.

She saw movement. He was home. She steeled herself. She could suck it up. And she had to start now.

She went down to the yard. He was riding, sending his board sliding across the planks he’d positioned on some make-you-wince angle.

‘I was a cow. A complete cow.’ She just said it. ‘I’m really sorry.’

He jumped off the board and looked at her.

‘You’re right. You’ve got to go. It’s your job. I’ll be fine. This place is going to be fantastic and please understand I do appreciate it. Not having to worry about a home and money is such a big thing, Jack. It really is.’

He ruffled his hair, his hand spread wide as he mussed it up.

‘I’ll be fine while you’re gone and I’ll be here when you get back. I was really childish saying I was going to move and shut you out.’ She swallowed up all the humble pie. ‘You were right, I wasn’t thinking about what’s best for the baby. I know you won’t be like my dad.’

Her heart ached as she said it. He wouldn’t be—she knew that in the times that he was around, Jack would be an awesome, involved, super-fun dad. She was just sad he wasn’t going to be around all the time. But permanence didn’t seem to be in Jack’s make-up. He needed to keep on the move, always striving for something just out of reach.

She glanced up to check his reaction. He looked as sombre as she felt.

‘We can make it work,’ she said, trying to sound sure of it.

‘Okay,’ he said quietly. ‘Thank you.’

She blinked.

‘What about us?’ he asked, moving closer to the jump between them.

Well, he hadn’t exactly mentioned ‘them’ when he’d dropped the ‘I’m flying out on Friday’ bombshell. But that was the point—there wasn’t ‘them’.

‘You were right about that, too. It isn’t about us. It’s about the baby.’

He paused. ‘I do like you, Kelsi. I like you a lot.’

Yeah, this was where it got messy again.

‘I like you, too,’ she said quickly. ‘And we can be friends, Jack. I know we can be friends.’

They could make it all work. But the lovers bit of it wasn’t ever meant to last—Jack didn’t do relationships like that. Really, his going away was a good thing—it gave her time to try to get over him.

He walked over the raised plank with an easy gait. ‘So.’ His voice lowered and he looked rueful. ‘That’s it, then.’

‘Yeah,’ she said, her voice a mere thread. ‘Don’t you think?’

For a moment it was there between them—the awareness almost visible. Complicating it again had been the dumbest thing they’d done. But he’d been right about that, too—she couldn’t regret it. It had been the experience of a lifetime.

Now she wanted to keep the memories pure. Keep them filled with the sense of fun and freedom—and keep that special boost to her personal confidence. He really had wanted her. And, even though he wanted other things more, it had still been wonderful of him.

But she couldn’t do a last kiss or a last lust moment. No way could she enjoy it if she knew it was the last. No way could her fragile heart handle the finality.

‘You’re right.’ He nodded, moving away to retrieve his skateboard.

‘I’m going to get a takeaway for dinner tonight,’ she said. ‘I really fancy a curry.’

‘Sure.’ He nodded. ‘I’ve got some people I need to see before I go tomorrow.’

They understood each other, then. No dinner in her flat together. No more time alone. The decisions had been made and agreement reached.

She actually did get a takeaway—for fear he’d notice if she didn’t. He was too observant when it came to her eating and sleeping and general welfare. And he actually did go out, too. She lay awake until she heard him get back. She lay awake the rest of the night, too, watching the sky slowly lighten on the day of his departure.

She nibbled on the corner of a plain cracker for breakfast but didn’t manage anything more than that. Her nerves were shredded. The sooner she got today over with, the better. So she got ready for work early and then knocked on his door. He opened it immediately—as if he’d been waiting just the other side of it. Fully dressed and clearly ready to go.

‘What time is your flight?’ She stepped back on the landing, trying to keep it together.

‘Mid-morning. Connection to Auckland first.’

She nodded.

‘Alice is coming in first thing and I’ll get the paperwork done giving you final authority and access to the charge account. Have whatever you want.’

‘Thanks,’ she muttered.

But this house was going to be so empty without him—no matter how beautiful she made it or how many things she crammed into it, the void would be huge.

‘You take care of yourself.’ His blue eyes penetrated—all concern. ‘Make sure you eat well.’

‘I promise. I’ll take good care of both of us.’

He nodded but didn’t relax. In fact his body went rigid. His hand fisted and he thrust it into his jeans pocket.

‘Don’t be mad with me.’ His jaw muscles clenched. ‘But I made you an appointment already.’

Jack really didn’t want her to be mad or hurt or unhappy—about any of this mess between them.

Even though he was feeling all three.

But now he knew he couldn’t ask her to go with him, not when she was pregnant and vulnerable—that was a given. And now he knew she wouldn’t accept even if she wasn’t. According to her, they weren’t compatible. It really was just a fling. She didn’t want him for anything other than that and she never had.

That day on the beach when he’d been so careful to tell her he was going away? She’d laughed—it hadn’t bothered her in the least.

When he’d turned up on her doorstep? She’d been cool.

When he’d offered her help? She’d refused.

The only thing they did seem to agree on was the heat between them. But for the first time in his life he realised he didn’t have any foundation to spring from. Now he knew there was just this void—so he had to keep moving or he’d come crashing down.

Now he knew he did want some solid stability. But it wasn’t to be—not with Kelsi. Hell, maybe it was fate paying him back for all those years ‘playing’.

Jack had never known rejection before. It hurt.

But it reinforced the rightness of his decision. He’d go. He’d work. He’d forget. And when he got back it would all be better—right? He just hoped he could live with it.

He held out the business card as if it were a last challenge.

She took it, quickly skimming the words printed on it.

Kelsi recognised the name—the surgeon was an obstetric specialist—based at the premier private women’s health clinic in the city.

‘You’ll go? It’s all paid for in advance.’ He actually went paler. ‘But I’ll be back well before...um...it arrives.’

Kelsi tried not to show her surprise at his steamroller approach to deciding on her care. He was so insistent about this. But she didn’t want to fight. Saying goodbye was tough enough.

‘I’ll go.’ She took a step away. ‘But I really should get going to work. I don’t want to be late.’

‘You’re walking again.’

‘Sure. You were right, it is better. I beat all the banked-up traffic.’ Trifling talk was so much easier than dealing with all that was unsaid.

And his answering grin was small, but it was there.

‘So, I’ll see you in a bit.’ Her throat had gone all tight. She turned so she wouldn’t have to look at him. So he wouldn’t see the waterfalls building in her eyes.

‘Right,’ he said. ‘Soon.’

She walked to the top of the staircase.

‘You go get your trick, Jack. Get your gold.’ Kelsi really, really wanted that for him. She wanted him to be happy.

He didn’t move from his doorway and she was halfway down before he suddenly spoke. ‘Kelsi, you can call me if you need me, okay?’

She nodded but didn’t turn back. Too busy concentrating on the stairs and on holding back the tears.

She strode fast, out past the over-the-top fencing and along the road that took her to the heart of the city. She ran her thumb across the edge of the obstetrician’s card. She’d have to diary the appointment in her computer or she’d forget.

A few minutes into the walk—well out of sight of the house—she stopped mid-path to put the card in her purse. She stared at it, her brain ticking. His insistence bothered her. Why was he so concerned for her health? Why had he always made such an effort to cook her all those decent meals. Why did he want her to have a team of specialists for what should be a perfectly normal, healthy pregnancy? What had he seen that made him so nervous? Hadn’t his mother ever?—?

Her thoughts seized.

His mother.

She sat down at the bus stop a little along from where she’d stopped. She pulled out her phone. But this time she read the Wikipedia profile instead of being side-tracked by the YouTube clips of all his tricks. This time she hunted through for the bit about his background. Born in China—in a remote mountain village where his father was prepping for an expedition. There it was—just a single line detailing his early arrival, and his mother’s death only hours later.

No wonder he was anxious about prenatal care. His mother had died giving birth to him.

Kelsi put her phone in her bag and stood up. Her legs wobbling as she digested that tragedy. Poor Jack. And poor Jack’s dad—no wonder he’d put his own adventures on hold. No wonder things were so complicated. And why was it only now that she realised just how much she loved him? She wanted to make it all so much better—to support him however he needed. When she had so much to give, why didn’t he want it?

Hardly watching where she was going, she walked, her breathing a little difficult. She definitely should walk more often if she was this unfit. But now the edges of her vision were darkening. Had something gone wrong with her contacts? She shook her head and blinked several times to clear it. Distantly, the thought registered that she wasn’t wearing contacts today. But the blackness was all-encroaching now.

And all of a sudden the world went woosh.

‘Kelsi? Kelsi?’

Kelsi frowned. Who was calling her?

‘Kelsi, are you okay?’

‘Alice?’ What was the interior decorator doing here? What was Kelsi doing here—flat out on the footpath?

‘I think you fainted. Have you hit your head?’

She struggled to sit up. Her stomach rocked as if she was on a catamaran in a storm round Cape Horn.

‘Wow,’ she said, desperately trying to recover some dignity. ‘That was embarrassing.’

‘I was driving to the house and saw you keel over. Good thing the traffic was moving so slow or I might have missed you.’

‘Yeah.’ Kelsi squinted as she tried to force her vision to focus. Her brain felt scrambled.

‘You want me to call Jack?’ Alice bobbed down, patting Kelsi’s shoulder.

‘No, don’t,’ Kelsi said quickly—her mind jerking back to its last-remembered realisation. ‘No. Please don’t bother him. This is just nothing.’

If he heard about this, he might freak out. He might postpone going. And as much as she really wanted that, she knew it wasn’t right. She didn’t want him to stay here because of fears—she didn’t want him to be trapped. That would be worse than anything.

Alice frowned. ‘You really don’t look so good, Kelsi. You’re very pale.’

‘I’m always pale.’ Kelsi stretched her lips into something she hoped would look like a smile. ‘Look, I’ll go into that cafe just there. I forgot to have breakfast, that’s all. I’m fine. Really, I am.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Oh, yes.’ Forcing animation into her answer, she then went for distraction. ‘I had such a great time looking over your ideas folder for the house. You’ve got some great things in there. I was so pleased you picked up on some of the old features.’

Alice’s expression lightened. Kelsi smiled harder and talked for another few minutes about the project, carefully getting to her feet and trying to hide how huge the effort was.

Alice walked with her to the door of the cafe but then glanced at her watch. ‘I’d better get going. Are you sure you’re all right now?’

‘Absolutely.’ She couldn’t let her go without a final plea. ‘Don’t mention it to him, will you? It’s so embarrassing and he’ll worry unnecessarily. You know how men sometimes do...’ Kelsi trailed off and smiled in the hope Alice would enter into the sisterhood-sticks-together spirit.

‘Sure.’ Alice finally smiled back. ‘I’ll be in touch with you next week and we can arrange a trip to look at some fabric swatches, okay?’

‘That’d be great.’

Kelsi went to the counter and ordered hot chocolate and hot toast. As she made herself eat, she hoped that Alice would keep her word. Jack had to get on that plane. Nothing could stand in his way.

Jack aimlessly wandered about the big bare space downstairs. He’d ordered a taxi to get him to the airport but as it was a domestic flight first he didn’t have to be there hours in advance. And he didn’t have much baggage to check through because his snowboard gear was in Canada already.

He ran his hand along the pared-back walls. When he got back, most of the work would be done and the house would look completely different. Whole again, not broken up into pieces that were too small. He couldn’t wait to see what Kelsi did with it—to lie on a sofa and stare at whatever collection of disparate objects she’d put together. She’d make it a really nice home.

Herhome, he reminded himself. Not his.

He turned his back on the room, jogging upstairs to grab his bag—suddenly needing to grip on to his future. He buzzed the taxi company and got them to pick him up immediately—leaving the signed forms for Alice to collect when she got in. He didn’t really need to see her, Kelsi would give her all the instructions.

At the airport he picked up a coffee and a paper and paced around the boarding lounge, telling himself everything had worked out for the best. It was good they’d scaled back to a manageable level of friendship. All very sensible.

At last his flight was called. And all of a sudden he felt more physically incapacitated than when his knee had crunched out the wrong way.

He couldn’t move. Didn’t want to. His whole body ached as if he had some virulent flu. And then it went hard because all he could think of was Kelsi, Kelsi, Kelsi.

Mortified at his sudden regression into out of control teen boy, he forced his feet to get him onto the plane. She didn’t want him. It was just sex. That was all he was walking away from and he’d get back in the game with someone else sometime.

Now his stomach felt sick.

Cold sweat slithered over his body. He was being so stupid. They’d sorted an arrangement that would work for the baby. Kelsi had a home that would soon be wonderful, she was as safe and secure as he could make her. Everything was as good as it could possibly be. He was free to go back to the snow and not have to worry. So why did he feel so rotten?

He squashed himself into his seat. He’d feel better once he got there. He closed his eyes and visualised the mountain. Imagined a helicopter ride up to the top and looking down on the perfect virgin powder ready for him to shred.

He opened his eyes again and sighed. The thrill would come back. He just had to get where the challenge was.

His gut twinged painfully. There was a challenge here, too. A challenge he was walking away from. Not that little baby. But the beautiful mother—the beyond-all-boundaries trick who put pepper in his pulse.

His ride with Kelsi most definitely had not been easy—but wicked for sure. And when had he ever walked away from a challenge that posed such risk?

Since when was he such a chicken?

He closed his eyes again to picture a slope. But instead, Kelsi’s teasing smile danced in front of him. Excitement surged. He gripped the armrests as he realised the thrill wasn’t just physical—it was total, mind and soul.

The elderly woman seated beside him gave him a cold look.

He couldn’t bring himself to care because his heart had suddenly grown too big for his chest and it was pounding too hard.

He was walking away from the biggest challenge of his life. He, who thought nothing of putting himself in physical danger, had been too scared to put his heart on the line. To tell her the truth. He needed to tell her about his mother, and about how he felt and what he wanted from her—as in everything. He couldn’t hide it any more, not from himself or from her. He had to be honest. That was all that mattered now.

His body ached all the more as he thought about baring himself so brutally. Would she respond in kind? Did she ever?

No. He almost laughed—but it hurt too much.

Kelsi covered up all the time—literally and emotionally. It was her specialty. He bent his head, inwardly groaning at his blindness. He already knew she’d lied—like when she’d said she hadn’t had morning sickness but he’d heard her. She’d been all defensive pride. She was terrified of getting too close, because she was even more terrified of rejection.

He tensed up as he thought of that. So had those devastating words been lies, too? When she’d said his leaving didn’t bother her? Had she been rejecting him before he could reject her? Like some warped method of self-defence?

He winced—both hopeful and devastated. She’d been hurt and he’d been hurt and they’d both been blind to each other.

Yet so much of what she’d said had been true—maybe he was selfish, and, yes, until now he’d never wanted to settle. The thought of being stuck in one place still made his blood bubble. But the security he sought now wasn’t of place, but of heart.

Shewas his home. She was the foundation that had been missing for ever.

He’d meant it when he’d said he had a lot to offer their child. And he had so much to offer her, too: his loyalty, his life, his love—and that was just for starters. And he wanted them both to be proud of him. The satisfaction would last for ever if he brought it home to share with the ones he loved. It would make everything worthwhile. And he wanted to support them in the same way—as they realised hopes and dreams and dealt with disappointments.

Way too late he realised he wanted it all with them. With her.

The bad feeling was worsening now. Had he suddenly got claustrophobic? Because he was finding it hard to breathe in this too-tiny cabin. His heart rate skipped faster. He straightened out his aching knee—having to twist on an angle to do it. The action earned him another frown from the woman seated next to him. He hated the fact the airline had cut first class from the domestic routes. He needed the space to stretch out today. Or to fidget.

Actually maybe it would be better if he just got off the plane. He really wasn’t feeling so good. But the light went on above his head and the little bell chimed. He obeyed the instruction and fastened his seat belt. It was too late now. It was time for take-off.