His Secret Highland Bride

Chapter Two

Lindsay’s face flamed with embarrassment as they approached her uncle’s home. The roof needed rethatching, and the door wouldn’t close properly. Even Shane’s cottage, which had sat dormant for some time, was in better repair than the shack she was currently living in. It was little wonder why her aunt had gotten ill and died while exposed to the elements and vermin.

Lindsay knew she would be spared this life if she would only present herself to the new laird at Cluny Castle. But then arrangements would be made for her to wed the MacPherson heir, and she’d rather take her chances on the vermin in the cottage than become a member of this clan.

No, she planned to wait until her family arrived so they could see for themselves what they agreed to marry her to. She would write to them and tell them what happened here today. That she was attacked by the very men who were sworn to protect their clan. Surely, her father would see the error of his plan and take her home immediately. She only needed to wait until her escort arrived.

Except she had already returned home once before rather than marry the man her father had arranged, and at great cost to her clan. She didn’t know if he would allow her refuge a second time, but she had to try. She couldn’t stay here.

“Ye live here?” Shane asked as he stood beside her, a deep frown on his handsome face.

She hadn’t been certain he was truly as attractive as she’d thought at first. Anyone would seem appealing when stepping in to save one from harm as he had. His face had not seen a blade in a while, but as they’d walked from his cottage to the village, she’d had a few chances to steal a better look at him. His body was large and honed by battle. His green eyes were kind, despite his displeasure at what he was looking at now.

“Aye, it’s my uncle’s home, but I’ll not be here for long. I will be returning to my home soon enough.” She prayed that was true.

“And how soon is that?” he asked.

Before she could answer, Doran rushed out of the house yelling at her.

“Do ye know what time it is? Ye’re late making our supper. Da is going to be angry when he gets home and finds us wasting away because ye haven’t fed us.”

He was only fourteen, but he stood eye to eye with her tall frame as he yelled. It wasn’t until Shane put a hand on his chest and pushed him back that the boy stopped screeching at her.

“Watch how ye speak to yer kin, lad.” Shane’s voice had turned low and threatening. Had she not already seen his kindness, she would have been alarmed.

“Who are ye?” Doran glowered at Shane, not seeming to realize the other man was larger than he. His narrow gaze flashed back to her. “Are ye selling favors to men now, cousin?”

Lindsay gasped at the crude comment made in front of Shane. It was bad enough his first impression of her was with men pawing at her, but for her cousin to insinuate such a thing…

“Did I not just tell ye to watch your tongue?” Shane said, his words even more menacing for he had not raised his voice.

“And did I not just ask ye who you were to think to tell me what to say to my lackwit cousin?”

When Shane took a step closer to the boy, Lindsay stepped in. It wouldn’t do for the boy to get murdered on their doorstep.

“Doran, please go inside. I will be in shortly to make your meal.”

“You’d better,” he said before offering a final glare at both of them and heading inside. The way he kicked the door shut made it clear how it had become damaged.

“I don’t know if I can leave ye here.” Shane looked at the other cottages near hers. They weren’t much better than the one she was living in. Hard times had befallen the MacPherson clan, though from what she could tell, all their problems began in the castle.

Yes, she could walk up to the gate and tell them who she was, and it would spare her from having to make supper for her ungrateful family. But she couldn’t help thinking it would be a terrible mistake. She might have food in her belly and a clean place to lay her head, but being married to the new laird would no doubt be worse than the way she lived now. He was surely just a much larger rat.

…

How was Shane supposed to leave this woman in such an unsuitable place? Every instinct had him wanting to pick her up and carry her away from here so she wouldn’t have to look at such horror, let alone live in it.

He shook his head.

He thought himself a protector, but he’d neglected to shield the one person he’d made an oath to always defend. His failure had resulted in her death, a betrayal he would never forgive himself for.

Despite her rough clothing, Lindsay Cameron was a fine woman. Elegant and graceful. Educated, if her speech was anything to go by. She didn’t belong here in this filth, and she definitely shouldn’t be spoken to like a dog by a sniveling pup with no manners. It had taken all Shane’s control not to tell the boy who he was when he’d asked.

It would have amused Shane to see the look on the lad’s face to know he was barking at his new laird. But Shane wasn’t ready for anyone to know he’d returned. After years of giving and following orders, he just wanted some peace. And maybe he was avoiding one order specifically—the one his father had given to come home and marry. He couldn’t do that to an innocent woman. He couldn’t bind her to him, a man who was empty inside and unable to love her. For he’d given his heart to his first wife, and it had died alongside her on a field in France. He could never love like that again; of that, he was certain.

His gaze flickered to Lindsay.

Would the bride forced on him be as lovely? Her dark eyes held secrets, and he wanted to learn each one. But she was not his. He’d found love with a woman and lost it. He didn’t deserve to be happy when Maria was gone because of him.

“I must get inside,” she said while brushing a lock of her midnight hair away from her face. “They get more unbearable when they’re hungry.”

“I can’t imagine him being worse.”

“They bluster about, but they’ve not struck me. I’ve made it clear I won’t stand for it. They need me, so they will behave. Besides, as I said, it’s not for much longer.”

He nodded, glad to know she wouldn’t be forced to stay here beyond what was necessary. Though he felt something similar to regret deep in his gut to learn she’d be leaving and he’d no longer see her. It was a silly thought. It wasn’t as if he was free to wed someone else. He was promised to whomever his father had arranged to be his bride. He could offer Lindsay nothing more than respect and protection.

His warrior instincts kicked in. Wanting to shelter this woman when he’d not been able to help his own wife caused his stomach to twist. Still, it wasn’t Lindsay’s fault Shane was broken.

“Ye know where I live now. If you need anything, come to me. If you wish to go walking in the woods again, I will escort ye.” He would do better for Lindsay than he had done for Maria. He’d not allow another woman to die.

“I wouldn’t want to take more of your time,” she said, a smile hinting at her lips—lips he was now staring at.

An overwhelming ache gripped him. This woman was beautiful, but to think of her lips and kissing her was wrong. Her hair and eyes were dark like Maria’s, but she was not his wife. And while his body had yearned for the comfort of a woman, his heart kept him from acting on those feelings.

“It is no hardship,” he found himself saying, though he should have nodded and walked away, leaving her to her life so he could shut himself away with his pain in Ronan’s cottage.

But Lindsay had been a welcome distraction. He’d enjoyed his time with her, even for the time they sat in the forest in silence. He found it was easy to be with her. He was grateful for the short respite from the guilt that had settled on his shoulders.

She didn’t seem to be in any hurry, and after the chaos of an army, just sitting quietly was something he realized he had missed. She hadn’t filled their comfortable silence with idle chatter. Instead, she’d seemed pleased to listen to the birdsong and the small animals as they scurried about in the leaves.

“Then perhaps I shall see you tomorrow. Good day, Shane.”

“Good day to ye, Lindsay.” He gave a short bow that made her smile grow, showing off her white teeth. As he turned and walked away, he realized he had a matching smile on his own face.

He felt that weight of guilt return as he left her. It was not fair that he would find a reason to smile with another woman after what he’d done, or hadn’t done. The smile melted away. He stopped at the well to get water before returning to Ronan’s cottage. The night was warm, so he didn’t need a fire except for the light. The bed ropes would need to be restrung and the mattress filled with new straw before he could sleep there. After years of sleeping rough on the ground, he had no problem tossing down his plaid to sleep on the floor.

It had been a long day of travel, yet he didn’t rest well. Perhaps it was because the floor was harder than the earth he’d made his bed upon all these years. Or maybe his mind was busy with thoughts of all the things he needed to do and the one thing he wanted to do: see a certain black-haired lass again.

“I’m sorry, Maria,” he said into the darkness as he closed his eyes against the visions of Lindsay.

…

He must’ve managed some sleep, since he woke with soft morning light and the sound of whispers coming through the open windows.

“I’m tellin’ ye, no one lives here. We can take it.”

“If no one lives here, who set the snare in the first place?” another lad responded, this one with the squeaking voice of a boy changing over into a man.

Moving quietly to the door, Shane opened it and stepped out on the small porch. “Bad things come to those who steal a man’s spoils,” he said when he could see the boys clear enough.

They screamed and looked at him with wide eyes before dropping the rabbit and running off.

“I might have shared it with ye, if you weren’t yellow-livered,” he called after them.

Shaking his head, he picked up the discarded rabbit and readied it for his morning meal. It would be a busy day, getting this place set up to be a home. He wasn’t sure how long he could stay here. Frowning, he corrected his thought. He wasn’t sure how long he planned to hide here, for he was hiding. From his future, from his past.

He got to work on cleaning out the cabin after breaking his fast. He enjoyed the work. At the sound of a stick cracking somewhere over his shoulder, he spun around prepared to face a French soldier, but it was Lindsay Cameron who stepped out of the woods with a smile on her face. He forced his breathing to slow as an easy grin pulled up his lips at her presence.

Damn his reaction. He had been a faithful husband, an in the year since Maria’s death, he’d not wanted to be with a woman. But this woman…she tempted him. He had not been a green lad with women when he’d went off to Spain. The women that lived on the edges of the battlefields did not appeal. It was a hard life, one often ended by nasty diseases.

But then he’d met Maria. They hadn’t spoken the same language, but they’d communicated all the same. A smile, the tilt of her head. Their love was a blazing passion. They loved hard and often fought harder. Or rather Maria did. She had a hot temper that amused him. He loved riling her up only to make up in a fiery lust. They rarely had need for words when a look or a touch told the other what they needed.

Lindsay didn’t singe him with desire. Instead, he’d felt calm, at peace when he’d been near her. She seemed full of life and happiness despite the conditions she lived in. And he felt excitement rush through him when he saw her, even after he’d given up all hope of ever feeling that again.

“Good morning to ye.”

“It is just past noon,” she corrected.

“Is it? I’ve missed the noon meal. Have you eaten?”

“Yes.” She pressed her lips together.

He hadn’t known her long, yet her expressive face told him what she was thinking without hearing her words. And at the moment, he thought she regretted telling him she’d already eaten because her meal hadn’t been enough.

He frowned, not liking that he could read this woman so well after such a short time. But he couldn’t help his desire to provide. “I made rabbit stew. I’m used to cooking for two and have made too much. Would you have some?”

She nodded and followed him inside. He still had the doors propped open to let out the stale air. He’d dusted, or rather spread the dust about the room. But the small table and chairs were clean.

He took the chipped bowls down from the shelf and filled one for her first. She waited for him to sit before she dug in.

“Oh,” she said, looking at him with wide eyes. “It’s good.”

He laughed at her surprise. “Ye thought I couldn’t cook something decent?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to offend you, but, no, I didn’t expect it to be full of flavor. I guess I assumed a soldier ate for the sake of strength and nothing more.”

“You have the right of it, but I learned to use many spices from Spain.” The smile on his lips faded at the memory of who had taught him. “And I’m not a soldier any longer.”

“What will you do now?” she asked before taking another bite.

He tilted his head to the side and thought about what he would have wanted to do if he’d had the option. If he had been born with the ability to choose, he might have been a vicar, though he cursed too much. He might have owned a tavern, but nay, he wouldn’t have had the patience for drunkards. Mayhap he’d been a crofter or a smithy. It didn’t matter, since his future was already told.

He would be the laird of the MacPhersons, and a husband.

“I’m not sure,” he said instead. “I have enough coin for now to set up this house and stay a bit until I decide.” Whatever fate lurked at the castle, it could wait until he was ready.

He feared he might never be ready. It was a waste of time to wish for a different life when his path was set out for him. Right down to the woman he would be forced to marry.

When they finished their meal, she helped him clean up, and they went outside again. She bit her lip, and he knew she had a question. “What is it?” he asked, finding he enjoyed talking with her despite his desire to be alone in his grief.

“Ye said you were used to cooking for two.” Curiosity shone in her dark eyes.

“Aye.” He nodded and looked away. She wanted to know if he was wed. And he wanted to tell her, but he feared she would ask him more questions he wouldn’t be able to answer, so he answered with part of the truth. “My stepbrother, Ronan, was with me in France.”

Shane must have frowned, for she placed her hand gently on his and said, “I’m sorry.”

“Nay, he’s not dead,” he corrected. “Though for a time there, after he was injured, I worried he would die. He had a bad fever. He’s well enough now, though his leg pains him at times.”

“You looked sad when you thought of him.”

Except Shane hadn’t been thinking of Ronan. He nodded. “Aye. I do feel responsible for what happened to him. He went to fight in France because I went. I don’t know that he would have made the choice if I hadn’t pushed him into it.” He paused for a moment before sharing a small part of his greater pain. “I…I did lose someone else, though. Someone dear to me. It was my fault.” He stopped speaking when his throat grew tight with the burn of tears. His jaw clenched as he tried to keep control over his pain.

It happened any time he tried to talk about Maria. Would there ever come a time he would be able to speak of her without his guts twisting?

“You carry a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, Shane MacPherson.”

He nodded. She had no idea how much responsibility he felt or how much more was about to land on his shoulders. He could only hope he wouldn’t be crushed under the weight of it.