His Secret Highland Bride

Chapter Three

Lindsay cleared her throat when she caught herself staring at the man’s full lips. Even pulled down into a frown as they were, she found them fascinating. She wondered if the dark-brown whiskers covering his chin and upper lip would be soft or tickle if she were to kiss him.

Except she wouldn’t kiss him.

She blinked and looked away to the trees. He must have noticed, for he nodded toward the forest.

“I imagine ye wish to go off into the woods for some quiet?” Shane asked, those lips turning up again. But she saw the effort it took to keep the smile there. This man was dealing with a great amount of pain. She decided not to pry.

Lindsay shrugged. The truth was she didn’t need the embrace of the forest around her, not when she was with him. He brought a different kind of peace than what she felt sitting on the rock and looking out over the river. The warmth she felt came not from the stone that had been touched by the sun all day but from his closeness.

“I did mean to escape, for Wee Robbie walked all over the rugs with muddy feet. Those rugs are so thin they’d never stand a scrubbing. But while I was trying, Uncle Randall came in wanting his noon meal, while James—the middle boy—picked a fight with Doran and began wailing when it didn’t go the way he’d wanted.”

She shook her head and felt her cheeks go hot. “Here I am, complaining about a few stressful moments to someone who has been fighting in a war for five years. Forgive me and forget everything I just said.” She waved a hand dismissively.

She’d been so grateful to have someone to talk to, she’d forgotten herself. She’d felt so alone this past month, even as she never seemed to have any time on her own. She didn’t know how to explain how she could be lonely while also overwhelmed by the people around her. But that was what she’d felt.

However, it was clear from looking at him that this man was carrying around a great deal of pain and guilt. She was ashamed of her silly complaints.

He shook his head. “One person’s plight doesn’t make another’s less.”

“No, but it should put it in perspective.”

“To tell the truth, after meeting your cousin yesterday, I might pick fighting a battle with the French over dealing with the likes of him. I think ye might have the worst of it.”

It was kind of him to say it to make her feel better. But she couldn’t imagine the fear he must have felt day after day for so long. Or perhaps it was worse. Perhaps numbness had taken over the fear and he no longer realized the danger.

“I doubt even Doran is worse than a French brigade, but thank ye for understanding.”

“If you wish to sit in the woods for a spell, I’ll sit with you and make sure you’re safe.”

She wondered why he winced on the last word. Safe. She didn’t think he regretted making the offer, but maybe he didn’t think he was capable. Did he think her to be too much trouble for the likes of a formidable Highlander? Despite the issue, she simply shook her head. “Nay. I have no need for silence now that I’ve spent time here with you. You have a calming way about you.”

“I would gladly accept your praise, but I feel it’s misplaced. Anyone would be better than those ruffians you live with.”

She laughed as his cheeks turned pink. She guessed Shane wasn’t accustomed to accepting praise. How different he was than the warriors at home who constantly expected to be admired for their strength.

“That may be true, but I thank you for inviting me to stay anyway.”

“And not making a mess you’ll need to clean up?” he added with a grin.

She’d noted how neat he was. And despite his large size, he was graceful when he moved. As if he’d thought through each movement before making it.

“That too.” She let out a sigh. “But now I am keeping you from your work, and I have had my escape for the day. I must get back.”

He looked around and gave an easy shrug. “I have time.” He swallowed and said, “I’m taking time.”

The correction seemed significant to him in some way, but she didn’t understand and let it pass.

“Perhaps I can help you.”

“If you’re of a mind to stay, I’ll not put ye to work, but I would enjoy your company. After years of being in the midst of a large group, it does feel strange to be alone so much.”

She smiled, pleased to be asked to stay. He was right—she would’ve taken anyone over the monsters she lived with—but she actually enjoyed being with Shane. He wasn’t simply a diversion.

“What of your family? Were you born here?” she asked to get a conversation started.

“Aye. As were my younger sister and brother. Do you have any siblings?”

“Nay. Perhaps that’s why I enjoy the quiet so much. Being an only child meant spending a lot of time alone.” She recalled the times when her cousin Meaghan would come to visit. They often pretended to be sisters. And when she would leave to return home, how Lindsay felt the loss.

“I’m sure you were hoping for sympathy, but you never had to fight anyone over the last tart, so you’ll get none from me.” He was teasing her.

“Never,” she conceded with a laugh. “The next time I make tarts, I’ll bring you some so you won’t have to share.” It would be the least she could do after what he’d done for her the day before. “I don’t know that I thanked ye properly for your help yesterday.”

“I hope the events did not haunt your sleep last night,” he said. His green eyes spoke of a man who had dealt with his own demons the night before.

Rather than tell him she’d hardly slept because every time she closed her eyes she saw those men, she pressed her lips together and tossed a piece of stick she’d picked up.

He shrugged and frowned in the direction of the woods. “A woman should be safe to walk about wherever she pleases without risk of…harm.” His voice cracked on the last word, and he swallowed before continuing. “And ye shouldn’t have had to worry about being set upon by the MacPherson guard—the very men who have sworn to protect the people on these lands. I’m embarrassed my clan has fallen the way it has.”

“I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead, but the laird didn’t see to his people the way he should’ve. Leaving the clan to fend for themselves has turned them desperate.”

He nodded in agreement. “I imagine you’re looking forward to returning to your own clan.”

“Yes.” No clan was without its problems, but at least she was safe on Wallace lands. She was careful not to say so—she didn’t want to let it slip that she was a Wallace. She had no idea what the Cameron clan was like.

She felt bad for lying to the man who had quickly become a friend, but it was safer that no one knew who she was. She’d sent a letter to her parents explaining her unwillingness to marry the new laird of the MacPhersons and requesting escort back home until a proper match could be arranged. But until they arrived, she wanted to be safe.

Being a laird’s daughter meant marrying for an alliance rather than love. She’d been raised for such a thing and knew her duty. But now she reconsidered having rejected Robert and the Fletchers. For the MacPhersons—with the exception of the man next to her—were completely unacceptable. Thinking of those unacceptable MacPhersons made her realize she’d been with Shane for too long.

“I must go. I have chores to finish before starting supper.”

He must have heard the worry in her voice, for his gaze narrowed. “Do you wish for me to see you home?”

“Nay.” That hadn’t gone well the day before. It wouldn’t be good for Doran to see Shane again and tell her uncle. “I’ll be fine.” But she wasn’t fine.

After reluctantly leaving her new friend, she returned to the small cottage to find her uncle in a fit of rage that her chores were not done. “I’m here. I’ll see to them quickly,” she assured the man, picking up the cracked bucket that leaked more water than it carried. She had to make multiple trips to have enough to cook with.

“Where were ye? Sittin’ about in the forest, staring off at nothing again? I’m not sure how things are on the Wallace lands, but here, laziness is punished.”

At the word “punished,” Lindsay stood straighter and looked the man directly in his narrowed, bloodshot eyes. “And if ye touch me, you’ll need to make your own meals so not to find poison in one of them,” she threatened, and the man laughed, showing off his blackened teeth.

“Just do what you were sent here to do.”

What she’d been sent there to do? She’d been sent to care for her mother’s younger sister. And now…she was supposed to marry the MacPherson laird. She wondered if her mother had known before she’d left Riccarton. Surely, her parents had discussed their plans.

Had her father thought tricking her was the only way to get her to do what he’d bid? She shouldn’t have caused such a fuss with the Fletchers. Robert wasn’t a horrible man; he was just much older than her. But despite her rebellion and his blustering over the incident, he’d never touched her violently. Pain didn’t always come at the sharp stab of a fist, though.

Lindsay had known all her life how disappointed her father was that he’d not been given a son. While Lindsay’s mother did her best to make up for the lack of affection, Lindsay knew the only value she held for her father was to marry well. And now she’d begged him to go back on another betrothal agreement to find a more suitable arrangement. He wouldn’t be pleased, but there had to be better options than the MacPhersons.

It’d be amusing to see her uncle’s face if she were to tell him she was to marry his laird. And even more pleasing to see how quickly he changed his tune if she became Lady MacPherson. But she wouldn’t dare. Whatever discomfort she faced with her uncle’s cruel words was better than being married to the laird’s heir. After all, her time here was temporary.

She only had to wait until her father’s retainers came for her and saw her home. A month at the most, and she’d be out of this place.

…

By the time Shane returned from his hunt for supper, he’d had more than enough of his own company. He’d never tell Ronan he was missed. The information would go straight to the man’s head. And as Shane considered it, he knew it wasn’t Ronan he missed.

He thought of the meals he’d shared with Maria. How she could speak so quickly he barely understood, even when he’d learned a fair bit of Spanish. How quickly and efficiently she moved, using her skirts to grip the hot pans. The sharp scent of spices he knew would heat his tongue and make his eyes water. How she would laugh at him. But as he allowed the memories to flow around him, he realized he also thought of Lindsay and how nice it would be to share his meals with her.

He’d noticed she was bonny the day before. It had been impossible not to appreciate her striking black eyes and lovely dark hair. But he’d refrained from studying the rest of her. It felt like a betrayal to his dead wife. And after what Lindsay had been through, it would’ve been wrong to leer at the poor lass.

But today he’d noticed. In quick glances, he’d taken in her tall frame and perfect breasts. Not too small but not too large. He’d found himself wondering if her nipples were the same rosy color as her lips. Even now that she was gone, he still wondered.

It was all for naught, just idle thoughts he’d never act on. Or rather couldn’t act on. His destiny was determined, and it wouldn’t do to dally with a lass he had no way of properly caring for, especially one who’d already been mistreated by his clansmen.

It was useless to think that if it weren’t for his duty, he might consider it. For his being married off was only one part of the problem. There was still the matter of his heart—that he no longer had one to give, it felt so shattered.

But, still, it was enjoyable spending time with her, someone he liked and felt comfortable with. Would he be lucky enough to feel the same friendship and comfort with the wife that awaited him? Or would it be a cold alliance, married in name only and otherwise remaining strangers?

Perhaps, expecting the worst would make anyone seem more pleasant in comparison. He laughed and finished preparing his meal. He carried a chair out onto the porch so he could enjoy the warm evening as he ate. Through the trees, he could see the orange and pink of the sun bending to the earth in the final light of the day.

He recalled the evenings he and Ronan had the opportunity to watch the sunset. How often they thought of the people at home and wondered if Tory or Alec was watching the same sky. A few minutes into his meal, he was joined by a small dog who trotted up on the porch as it sat next to him. “Aren’t ye the wee beggar?” he said to the dog as he dropped a few bites, which it quickly snatched up.

When Shane reached out to pet him, the dog ducked away, eyes closed as if expecting something harsher than a scratch behind the ears.

“This clan…” Shane muttered. “Attacking women and hurting wee dogs. How am I going to fix this?”

Instead of dropping more food on the floor, Shane held the next morsel out on the palm of his hand. At first, the dog paced and whined, clearly wanting the food but unwilling to put himself in harm’s way to get it.

Shane continued to speak soothingly to the animal, encouraging him to take the chance and see not everyone meant to harm him. It took a long while, possibly an hour, but Shane forced himself to be patient. After all, he’d need a great deal of patience to take on the work needed to make his clan one he could be proud of.

Eventually, both of them were rewarded when the little dog collected his courage and darted close enough to snatch the food from Shane’s hand. “Ah, there you go now. What a brave one ye are.”

He held out his hand again, and the dog only hesitated briefly before coming forward to get the treat. “See there? Didn’t I tell ye you could trust me?”

The next bit of food was held high, and when the dog reached up, Shane chuckled. “It would seem I’ve won the heart of a lass after all.”

She tilted her head to the side with her scruffy, gray ears cocked.

“Shall I call ye Treun, for you were a brave lass to take a chance at my door?” Again, when he reached out to pet her, she ducked away, but not so far as before.

He just needed time to earn her trust. Time.

He wondered how much time he had before he would have to give up this small life he was making and bear the responsibilities waiting for him at the castle.

“I’m not yet as brave as you, lass. I’m not ready. I fear I may never be.”