Hold Me (Ribbon Ridge #7)

Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Burgundy, France

B ex nearly lost her nerve at the waist-high wooden gate in front of Hayden’s house. She chided herself. She hadn’t come this far to turn back now.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the latch and walked through. The house was beautiful—two stories made of stone with mullioned windows. Situated a mere ten-minute walk from the main street of the village, it was everything she’d imagined a cottage in Burgundy to be.

And it came with the love of her life.

She only hoped he didn’t throw her out as soon as she arrived.

Steeling her resolve, she walked to the front door and knocked. It wasn’t latched and swung open, creaking softly. She peered inside and gingerly placed her feet over the threshold.

Laughter drifted from the back of the house. She took another step then stopped short as a stunning blonde walked into the main living area. Her head was turned away from Bex, her arm stretched out behind her because she was holding Hayden’s hand.

His lips were curved into a half-smile. Bex felt like she’d been kicked in the gut and wished she could melt into the floor.

The blonde turned her head and nearly let out a little shriek at seeing Bex. She came to a stop as Hayden walked up beside her.

Bex’s chest cinched. He looked so unbelievably handsome in a blue heathered V-neck T-shirt and khaki shorts. His pale blue eyes fixed on her, but she couldn’t read them. He could be ecstatic to see her or pissed as hell, and she wouldn’t know. Wait, there was surprise, too. At least there was that.

He let go of the blonde’s hand. “Bex, I didn’t know you were coming.” He flicked a glance toward the gorgeous woman to his right. “This is Gabrielle. Gabrielle, this is Bex. She’s, uh, a friend from back home.”

Gabrielle came forward, her hand extended. “I’m pleased to meet you.” Her accent was thick, but her English was good.

Bex shook her hand. “Hi. I hope I’m not interrupting.”

Gabrielle tossed a seductive look at Hayden. “Not now. Maybe later.” She laughed as she turned back to Bex, flicking her long, shiny blonde hair over her shoulder. “You came as a surprise?”

“Yes. I’m, uh, just passing through.” That was partially true. If this plan went south, she was going to Germany and drinking all the beer she could find.

“How charming.” Gabrielle’s dark eyes narrowed, and Bex had the sense that she found it anything but.

Bex looked at Hayden. “I can come back later.” Or not at all.

No, she hadn’t come this far to give up.

“That’s not necessary,” Hayden said. “Gabrielle was just leaving anyway.”

Gabrielle went to him and said something in French. Bex didn’t understand a word. She’d taken three years of Spanish in high school and had forgotten most of it, not that it would’ve helped in the slightest.

Hayden responded in her native tongue, and Bex wanted to melt into the floor again, but for very different reasons this time. Good Lord, that was sexy. If she managed to win him back, she was going to ask him to say something to her in French every single day for the rest of their lives.

Their conversation went on, in slightly hushed tones, for a few minutes. Hayden flicked a glance toward Bex then put his hand at the small of Gabrielle’s back while they walked to the front door together. Bex stepped out of the way, going to the fireplace and pretending to take great interest in the books and small figurines situated on the oak mantel affixed to the stone.

“Good-bye, Bex,” Gabrielle called.

Bex turned and waved. “Bye, it was nice meeting you.”

Gabrielle smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her coffee-colored eyes. “Enjoy your trip . . . wherever.”

Hayden closed the door behind her then turned a curious eye toward Bex. “This is unexpected.”

“Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take you by surprise.”

He arched a brow at her, his hand still on the door. “Really? I have a cell phone you could’ve called. Or texted.”

She inwardly winced. But he didn’t sound mad. Just . . . surprised. And maybe a little annoyed. She really couldn’t tell. Oh hell, she was tied up in knots and had been the past three days since the blow-up at The Alex. “Should I go? You look, er, busy.”

He moved away from the door and took a few steps toward her. “Gabrielle? I’m not busy with her.”

Bex’s heart leapt. Maybe he meant just for the moment, but she’d take that. For now. “Oh, good.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, looking utterly bemused. “Why are you here? Are you really just passing through?”

“Yes, actually. I’m going to Germany.” If you decide once and for all that you really don’t want me.

He narrowed his eyes. “This is hardly ‘on the way.’ You should’ve flown directly to Berlin or Munich. Unless my parents asked you to come.”

“They did not.” Although, they knew she was here. She’d had to arrange coverage at the brewery—Rob and some of the other brewers for the other pubs were making enough beer for The Arch and Fox and Archetype. “I’m here because I want to be. Because I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

He dropped his arms to his sides and walked to the wide front window that looked out over the small front yard. “That was quite a scene before I left. Are my parents all right?”

“I think so. You haven’t spoken to them?”

“They’ve left a few messages, sent texts. But no, I haven’t responded.” He turned his head to look at her briefly. “And yes, I realize that makes me an asshole.” He went back to looking out the window.

She took a few small steps toward where he stood. “No, it makes you human. They feel terrible. They love you.”

He pivoted. “I know. But I think you’ll agree with me when I say that sometimes love isn’t enough.”

No, it wasn’t. She’d loved him five years ago when she’d left, but she didn’t think she’d been the right person for him. She didn’t fit with his family and then when she’d lost the baby, it was as if life was telling her to get away. She’d do things differently now, but that’s because she was different.

“Can I . . . that is, will you accept my apology?”

His brow furrowed, and his lips parted. “For what?”

“For leaving you. For thinking you chose your family over me. For not sticking by you when you needed someone.”

He let out a sound that was part laugh, part harrumph. “I did choose my family over you. For what good that did me.”

She came to stand in front of him. “No, it’s not quite like that, is it? You didn’t choose them; you did what you thought needed to be done. You stood by Alex, your father, your commitment to Archer. I understand what you were hoping to gain.” She didn’t want to come right out and say that she knew he’d been seeking his place or approval or validation—whatever the right word was.

He stared at her, his eyes taking on a sheen that might’ve been appreciation. “You do understand. Thank you.” He moved away from her. “Where are you staying?”

She watched him walk past the front door to a dining area with a long farm-style table with benches on either side and chairs at each end. “I have a room in town at a little bed-and-breakfast.”

He picked up a glass from the table. “Maison Dominique?”

“That’s the one.”

“That’s a great place.” Holding the glass, he turned back toward her. “Anne-Marie makes the most amazing bread and pastries. Be careful or you’ll gain five pounds overnight.”

She widened her eyes and let out a quick laugh. “Yikes, I’ll watch myself.”

“How long will you be here to check up on me?”

A voice in the back of her head told her to make her case, to fight for him. Wasn’t that why she was here? She gave him a look that she hoped was half as seductive as Gabrielle’s had been. “That depends on how long you’ll let me.”

They stood there staring at each other, a polite starch in the air around them. Fight, Bex , the voice said. “I came to see if we were really over. I know you said you didn’t love me anymore, but I was hoping that maybe you might. Or that you could maybe just fall in love with me all over again. I think that’s what happened to me when I came back to Ribbon Ridge. I’d forgotten how much I adored being with you, how fast you make my heart beat when you walk into a room, how kind and generous you are—even when you’re hurting. How could I ever have thought you’d chosen your family over me when every day you showed me how much you loved me and how deeply you longed for a future—a family—with me? Amid my own insecurities about joining your family and then the angst of the baby, I lost sight of the simplest things right in front of me. Sometimes love isn’t enough, but we had more than that, didn’t we?”

“I thought so, but when you left, something inside of me snapped. You were the one person I felt connected to. I’d had to go outside of my family to find it. You were my family, Bex, and you left. I’m not sure . . . I don’t know how to regain that trust. With you, with my family, with anyone.”

She heard the despair in his voice, but there was longing, too. He wanted to find it. And that gave her infinite hope.

She took his hand and brushed her thumb over his knuckles. “Then let me earn your trust. I didn’t come here to talk you into coming home. I didn’t come here to seduce you. I came here to truly see if you were all right, and yes, to plead my case.” She allowed herself to smile. She wanted to show him the joy she felt at just being here with him. “But I’m patient, Hayden, and I will wait for you for as long as it takes. I don’t care where you go or where you end up, I want to be there with you. If you’ll let me.”

The stroke of her thumb lulled him into a sort of trance as his mind devoured every word she’d said. God, he loved her so much. He’d never stopped. He just didn’t know if he could take the risk of surrendering to that emotion again. But she was here, and she wanted to earn his trust. Maybe he should let her try. It wasn’t as if he were blameless.

He let go of her hand. “Hang on.” He turned and went into the small kitchen to set the glass on the counter. When he went back to her, she hadn’t moved. In fact, he wasn’t even sure she’d blinked.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked.

Now she blinked. “Sure. Yes.”

Together they went to the door, which he held open for her as she stepped outside. The afternoon was bright and hot. He grabbed his hat from the hook by the door and crushed it on his head. “You should have a hat,” he said, joining her on the path.

She looked up at him, squinting. “Should I?”

“Or sunglasses. There’s a shop in the village. Come on.” He opened the gate for her and watched her walk through. She wore a short, blue-and-yellow sundress and flat, strappy sandals that made her ankles look unbearably sexy. All of her was unbearably sexy. From her pale jade eyes to the scrumptious dimples he’d seen very little of today to the curve of her hip and the sway of her backside as she sauntered in front of him.

He strode up alongside her as they walked along the edge of the road toward the village. After a moment, she sent him a tentative glance. “Can I ask you about Gabrielle? She seemed irritated that I was there. Maybe even a bit jealous.”

And Bex sounded jealous. He liked that. “She’d like there to be more between us than there is. I thought we were on the same page before I left to go home, but somewhere along the line she developed stronger feelings for me. I didn’t get the memo.”

“That sucks. For her, I mean.” Now she sounded pleased. He liked that, too. “What were you talking about in French?” she asked.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to be rude, but I didn’t think you wanted to hear her call you a shameless tramp in English.”

She laughed. “Wow. What else did I miss?”

“Just her asking what I saw in you.”

Bex turned her head and looked up at him, her dimples creasing into her cheeks and making it damn near impossible to keep his hands to himself. “What did you say?”

“I told her to look at you, and that it should be obvious what I saw in you.”

She sucked in a breath. “You didn’t .”

“Okay, I told her you were my sisters’ friend and she had nothing to worry about.” That was true. He’d sensed a potential catfight and had wanted to prevent it.

Bex looked forward once more. “Oh.” Now she sounded disappointed. And he didn’t like that. “You never told her about me?”

“Nope. I worked really hard to get you out of my system. Talking about you to other women wouldn’t have helped with that. Trust me, I know. I did it a lot at first.”

She winced. “Sorry.” She inadvertently kicked a rock with her toe, sending it skidding into the middle of the road. “I did the same thing.”

That made him feel better. It made him feel pretty damn good actually. “Is it bad that I like hearing that?”

“No worse than me wanting you to tell Gabrielle that I’m the woman you were having sex with last week.”

Now it was his turn to laugh. “Fair enough.” They were nearing the village, but he was enjoying their conversation so he slowed his gait. “You had a hard time after you left Ribbon Ridge?”

She nodded. “I did. I still loved you. I just didn’t want to be in that town or with your family or with you after what happened.”

It was like a cloud had moved over the sun, but the day was as bright as ever. “The baby.”

She stopped beneath the shade of a tree and faced him. “Hayden, I know I said I didn’t blame you, but I did. Subconsciously. I didn’t realize it at first. I feel so ashamed.” Tears welled in her eyes, and his heart twisted in a way it hadn’t for five long years.

He put his hands on her biceps and held her. “Hey, don’t be. I blamed me, too.”

She sniffed. “It’s more than that. I was . . . relieved. Sad, but also relieved. We hadn’t planned that baby, and I wasn’t ready.”

He realized then that his guilt had stemmed from the same feelings, not just the fact that he’d been driving the car, though that was still a big part of it. “I know. I wasn’t ready either. I guess the universe knew what needed to happen.”

She blinked and brought her hand up to wipe away a tear that was stuck to her lashes. “That it wasn’t our time.”

It wasn’t our time. Did she mean they were meant to break up and find each other again? He didn’t know if he believed that.

He stroked his fingertips along her upper arms. “You okay?”

She nodded, sniffing again. “Sunglasses might be good since my eyes are probably red now. I have a pair at the B and B. I don’t know why I left them there. In a hurry to see you, I guess.” She offered him a fragile smile.

If things were different, if he hadn’t been experiencing this incredible emotional turmoil where she was concerned, he’d pull her into his arms and kiss her. He wanted to see the strong, happy Bex he loved.

But wasn’t sure he trusted. Not yet.

“The hat shop is just up here.” He took her hand without thinking. Should he let go? He peered over at her, but she didn’t look at him. He thought he saw the hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

He decided not to question every damn thing and just walked with her to the shop. Once inside, the shopkeeper greeted him in French, and he introduced her to Bex in English. They chatted about what sort of hat would look good—Hayden playing interpreter. The shopkeeper left them alone while Bex tried about twenty different ones—small hats, fancy hats, wide-brimmed floppy hats, straw, knit, and even one with a bird on it. “How Portlandia of you,” he said, laughing.

She pursed her lips and cocked her head to the side, modeling for him. “From what I hear, I think Maggie’s mom would like this.”

“Didn’t you meet her at Sara’s wedding?” At her nod, he asked, “And you saw what she was wearing? Apparently we should’ve been grateful that she’d at least donned a bra.”

Bex giggled as she took off the hat. “I see your point. The bird might work, but the little net is maybe a bit too fancy for her.”

Hayden snorted, enjoying himself immensely. “Just a bit.”

The shopkeeper came back to check on them. “Did you make a decision?”

Hayden picked up a soft, woven straw hat with a two-inch brim around it. “Celui-ci.”

Bex turned from the mirror as she smoothed her hair. “What did you say?”

“I said we’d take this one. It’s my favorite.”

She beamed up at him. “Mine, too!” Her smiled faded. “Merde.”

The shopkeeper had taken the hat from Hayden to ring it up, but shot Bex a surprised glance before she continued to the register at the back of the store.

Bex cringed. “What did I say? I thought it was like saying darn or something.”

“Technically, you said ‘shit.’ ”

Bex clapped a hand over her mouth then giggled. “Well, merde . Sorry, I got so wrapped up in you speaking French, I wanted to give it a try. Maybe you can teach me a few words.”

“Really?” He gave in to the impulse to flirt with her. “Or do you just want to hear me speak French?”

Her eyes widened briefly then narrowed to a seductive slant. “Every. Single. Day. Please don’t stop.” Her voice took on a breathy quality that sent a wave of heat rushing over him.

He worked to pull himself back from the brink of desire. “Why did you swear?”

“Oh! I don’t have my wallet.” She blushed and looked away. “It’s also at the B and B. And before you tell me I shouldn’t leave that sort of thing lying around in a foreign country, I know.” She returned her gaze to his, and he couldn’t ignore the heat in their depths. “Like I said, I was in a hurry.”

He needed to get out of here before he did something foolish, like kiss her senseless in front of the shopkeeper. “No worries. I’ll take care of it. My treat.”

Her shoulders came up in a quick shrug. She smiled, her dimples carving deep into her cheeks. “Okay. Thanks.”

He went to the counter and paid for her hat then they left the shop, turning down the street toward Maison Dominique, where she was staying.

“This has been an interesting afternoon,” she said.

He had to agree. They’d shared some enlightening things. He felt better about what happened five years ago than he ever had. Better than he’d ever thought possible. “Yeah. Thanks.” He didn’t really want it to end, but he had a few things to do that afternoon. “Do you want to come for dinner later?”

She looked momentarily surprised, but nodded. “I’d love that. What time?”

“Seven?”

“Sounds great. Can I bring anything?”

He’d been about to say no, but they’d just come to the entrance to her B and B, and the delicious scent of Anne-Marie’s fresh bread filled the air. “Yes, a loaf of Anne-Marie’s bread. And if you can’t get one, don’t bother coming.”

She laughed. “I’ll steal one if I have to.”

He gave her a nod of approval. “Just don’t get caught.”

She paused in the doorway and gave him a saucy look. Beneath it, he sensed a warmth and an anticipation he felt in himself. At least, he thought he sensed it. He hoped he wasn’t wrong.

“See you later.” She went inside.

He turned to head back down the street toward his house. He didn’t know what he was doing. All he knew was that it felt good, and he’d spent far too long feeling bad.