37. The Video
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
THE VIDEO
Sophie
“Oh my God, it’s huge,” Stella says in awe as I hand her the neon, flashing sculpture above the register, an abstract design made entirely of flowers. The shape is unmistakable, the curves and lines arranged just subtly enough to make people look twice. “I love it!” she adds, laughing as she takes in the vibrant, cheeky arrangement shaped like a cock. It’s bold and playful, but just subtle enough to leave anyone who doesn’t get it blissfully unaware.
I adjust the angle. “It’s certainly… bold.”
“Bold? This is a masterpiece. You’re going to have the horniest bookstore in Crestwood.”
“Not sure there’s much competition in that area,” I reply, stepping down from the stool to admire our handiwork. The warm glow of the pink-and-red interior is cozy and kitschy—exactly the balance I envisioned.
“Now imagine a giant poster of tits and fannies in the loo,” Stella adds, waggling her brows. “I’m telling you, nothing says feminism like anatomically correct vaginas at eye level.”
I roll my eyes, but the grin won’t leave my face. “We are an equal opportunity bookstore, after all.”
Her arm slips around my shoulders in solidarity. “I love it. Are you nervous?”
I chew on the inside of my cheek as I look around. The bookstore is complete—aside from the books, which are arriving bright and early tomorrow, and the bespoke sign painter I’d hired for the name. But the shelves are built, secured to the walls, and painted a light pink. The floor is gleaming, thanks to the wood polish Julian picked up the other day. The side tables are red, as is the cash register. There’s a pink-and-white checkered rug on the floor, and a teal chaise lounge. Stella even managed to find the giant, light-up cock, as well as matching leg lamps.
The area behind the register has an electric fireplace, a cozy, magenta-colored velvet couch, and a fluffy, cream-colored rug. There are plants in every available corner, and all that’s left is to get “The Story Nest” painted onto the light pink facade above the front door in gold, and then to decorate the window display—something Stella promised to help me with tomorrow.
“I’m excited,” I tell her honestly. “It feels like I’ve been waiting for this moment forever. To have something of my own, just for me…” I trail off.
Stella’s knowing eyes drift over me like she’s reading every thought I haven’t said aloud. She squeezes my shoulder, understanding.
“I’m proud of you,” Stella says, squeezing me once before walking into the back room.
I should feel proud. I do feel proud. But that pride has been shadowed by the ache I’ve tried—and failed—to ignore since Kai left.
I miss him. And not in the soft, fleeting way you miss a friend. It’s bone-deep, a hollow ache I carry around like an unwelcome houseguest. It lives in the space between every breath I take.
It’s pathetic, really. We told him he could have the time he needed. I meant it. I want him to figure things out. But no one warned me how much it would hurt when he actually walked away.
I thought I could handle it.
I thought I was tougher than this.
But I’m not.
I can’t count how many times I’ve replayed his voice in my head, dissecting the way his gaze lingered a second too long over the last few weeks, the way his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but never did. Having him near me working in the shop was pure bloody torture. I thought maybe— maybe —he’d text. Call. Something.
Instead, silence.
Julian buries himself in distractions—working late, pushing himself at the gym. It’s how he copes. But I don’t have that luxury. When I’m not working in the shop, I sit in our quiet house and let the weight of it sink into my bones.
I didn’t expect this to feel like heartbreak.
I thought I could survive without him.
Now, I’m not so sure.
He left, and I think that’s what stings the most.
Not just the absence, but the fact that Kai was the one to walk away.
It shouldn’t feel so personal, but it does.
I swipe at the tears gathering at the corners of my eyes before Stella comes back.
Having Stella’s help has been paramount to getting the shop ready in only a couple of months. And though Kai helped with the harder manual labor, like laying new flooring, the rest was done with Julian and Stella, and occasionally her brooding husband, Miles.
I still couldn’t tell if Miles liked me, he doesn’t seem to like anyone except Stella.
Of course, all the Ravage men reminded me of Kai, which only made the whole distance and space thing harder. I knew he needed this. Kai carried his own burdens, his own fears about what it meant to be part of something this complex. But knowing he needed time didn’t make it any easier to wait for him, or to hope he’d come back to us when he was ready.
Because the truth was, Julian and I would be fine. We always had been, and we always would be.
But fine wasn’t enough anymore. Not without Kai.
The soft hum of my phone vibrating against my pocket pulls me from the spiral. I glance down—Julian.
I almost ignore it, but something about the message catches my eye. It’s a video.
“Something juicy?” Stella asks, returning with a box of tiny, plastic willies. She dangles them in front of me. “Hide these around the store. Whoever finds one gets a free book.”
I snort. “Of course you found those.”
“Never underestimate my ability to locate miniature genitalia.”
I chuckle faintly, already distracted as I press play on Julian’s message.
The screen flickers to life, blurry at first. I squint, but as soon as the audio kicks in, I freeze.
“ Say hi. ”
Kai’s voice.
The edges of the world tilt.
Then—
“ H— Oh, fuuuuck. ”
My husband’s broken moan echoes through the shop, and Stella bursts out laughing.
“Oh my God, did Julian send you a naughty video? And who’s the other bloke?—”
Kai’s voice cuts her off again.
“ That’s it. I think you’re ready for me, baby ? — ”
I fumble to pause the video, cheeks burning. My heart pounds against my ribs like a war drum.
They’re together.
I can barely string the thought together through the haze of disbelief and… relief?
The ache in my chest shifts, like the weight has momentarily lifted, but the longing rushes in twice as hard.
They’re together. Without me.
A part of me feels left out, ridiculous as it is. But mostly, I just want to be there.
I grip my phone tightly.
“You okay?” Stella asks, tilting her head.
“I—yeah. Just surprised.”
“It’s okay. Miles accidentally sent a picture of his spunk coming out of my fanny to my gynecologist last month.”
This makes me burst out laughing. “What?!”
Stella shrugs. “Yeah. It was awkward. To be fair, he meant to send it to me, but her name is Estrella , and the old man needs glasses. But on the bright side, she congratulated him on knowing when my fertile window was.”
I bend in half from laughing so hard, and when I stand up to look at my friend, she’s watching me with a soft expression. Stella is the best at diffusing any situation, and right now I’m so grateful we’ve gotten close over the last few months.
She makes me feel like I have a little slice of home right here in Crestwood, and I’m sure if I’d known her in London, we would’ve been fast friends.
“You should go. Leave me the key and I’ll lock up. I won’t be long—I need to pick Bea up from Liam and Zoe’s house soon anyway.”
“Okay. Yeah. Thank you,” I say, still feeling frazzled.
Where are they? And are they still together?
I hand the key to Stella, and she pockets it with a bright smile. “Go have fun. And for the love of God, I hope this means you’ll all stop moping around.”
“What? I’m not moping around?—”
She lets out an exasperated chortle. “Okay, whatever you say. I saw you crying the other day when ‘Take Me to Church’ came on.”
“That’s— I— It’s a sad song.”
Arching a brow, she points to the door. “Go get your men. Lock that shit down, because Kai’s been moping even harder.”
Her words cause me to swallow thickly. “He has?”
Nodding, she tugs me toward the door. “But no more. Go suck some cock and put those sexy lips to work.”
I laugh as she shoves me out the door. Just as it’s beginning to close, I realize what she was saying earlier.
“Wait, what do you mean your fertile window?” I ask, brow furrowed. “Are you and Miles…”
She nods shyly. “He’s on a mission to knock me up before the end of the year.”
This makes me smile. I know how much she loves Beatrix.
“I’m happy for you, Stella.”
“Thanks, love. Now go.”
I wave goodbye as I walk to my car, clutching my phone against my chest as if people can see the video I have just behind the locked screen. My thoughts race as I replay what I’ve already seen and heard in my mind—a moment unlike any I’ve witnessed before. Julian, always so in control, letting go completely. There’s no trace of his usual commanding presence, only vulnerability and trust.
Watching him in that moment, I can see how deeply he trusts Kai, how much he wants to experience something in a way he hasn’t done before. For Julian, I know it’s not about losing control—it’s about choosing to share it, to let someone else take the lead.
My chest tightens just thinking about it.
Once I’m inside my car, I play the rest of the video, and I swear I don’t breathe for the next eight minutes.
“Deep breaths, Julian. You’ve got to relax,”
“Okay, okay. Give me a second.”
“Deeper,” Julian begs.
“Look at my good boy begging for more cock. You sure you’re not a bottom, Julian?”
“Fuck you, Ravage.”
“You will. Fuck yes. You feel so good.”
“Deeper.”
“Holy shit.”
“You like this?”
“Yes. Yes, fuck me, fuck ? —”
“God, that feels… so good…”
“Come for me. I want to feel it. Give your wife a show ? —”
I pause the video, panting as everything inside of me throbs. I shift my weight in my seat, and the movement presses the seam of my denims against my clit, and I’m pretty sure I could rock myself into an orgasm right now. That’s how turned on I am.
With shaking hands, I text Julian.
Where are you?
I let out a stuttering breath when I see him typing a response almost immediately.
Julian Love 3
At Kai’s. Come over. Now.
I don’t even stop to think.
I just drive.