Homecoming for Beginners

Chapter 16

SUNDAY MORNING Ty woke up groggy and disoriented, half convinced that the whole week had been a dream. But when he reached for his phone on the bedside table, he encountered the note he’d written himself the night before.

Yes, Ollie is your boyfriend now.

And that was a nice thought, even if it would’ve been nicer with Ollie next to him instead of the note. Ty loved a cuddle. But he was pretty sure Ollie would still cuddle with him, even if they never managed to actually sleep in the same bed.

He let himself bask in it for a few minutes, but eventually he had to get up. He had plans to make, things to do, people to talk to. He needed to figure out a strategy for this stupid town hall meeting next week, which meant not only talking to Eliza but rescheduling his flight to Chicago. He’d have to talk to his captain about his return-to-work date.

First things first. If he was going to tackle a to-do list that long, he needed a good breakfast.

The kitchen was empty when he entered, though he had no illusions that Ollie was still asleep. Yesterday morning had been the outlier for sure; Ollie was a horrifying morning person through and through. Ty went warm to his core when he saw there was fresh coffee in the coffee maker, even though Ollie had been leaving him coffee for weeks. That had been his friend Ollie. This was his boyfriend Ollie.

His boyfriend Ollie who was currently outside cutting Ty’s grass, apparently. Shirtless, wearing a ball cap and aviators. Ty needed to put some food in his belly, because the sight was making him lightheaded. Fortunately he had a lot of yard, so there was plenty of time to make himself something to eat and then sit outside with his second cup of coffee and watch the world go by.

Ty was surveying the dishwasher and fridge to determine whether Ollie had eaten anything substantial for breakfast when Theo shuffled into the kitchen .

They hadn’t exactly made up the night before. Theo had been grumpy and tired and discombobulated from too much sugar and too much sun and too much excitement. But he hadn’t bristled at Ty’s presence either, when the three of them retired to the living room to watch baseball before bed. Ty had relegated himself to the armchair so Theo wouldn’t have to choose between being close to his dad or avoiding Ty.

He knew he was doing the right thing, getting out of the way, but he missed the way things used to be.

Maybe now was his chance to fix it. Ty cleared his throat. “Hey, buddy.”

For a few seconds he thought Theo was going to ignore him. Then he climbed up on one of the barstools. “Where’s my dad?”

“He’s out cutting the grass.” Ty contemplated the fridge, trying to keep his cool. Theo speaking to him voluntarily was progress he didn’t want to call attention to. “What do you think he’d want for breakfast?”

Theo was quiet for a minute. Ty didn’t know if the kid had spotted his trap and was deciding whether to fall into it or if he was actually considering Ollie’s breakfast preferences until he said, “Pancakes.”

Ollie was definitely more of a bacon and eggs guy.

“I can do pancakes,” Ty said as he reached for the egg carton. “Are you hungry?”

A beat. Then, “Yeah,” said cautiously, like he wasn’t sure he was allowed.

“Well, that’s a relief. I don’t know how to make pancakes for two.” He set the milk jug on the counter and took out the butter.

Theo was quiet for another minute.

Then, to Ty’s horror, came a telltale sniff.

He froze with the broken eggshells still in his hand. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t be the one to bridge the distance between them, not when Theo was still mad at him, but he couldn’t just sit here and let him cry —

“Please don’t be mad at me,” Theo wailed.

Ty dropped the eggshells in the sink and turned around. “I’m not mad,” he promised. “Theo, I was never mad at you. I was worried.”

Theo’s face had gone a blotchy red, stained with tear tracks. “But I was mean to you. ”

What could he say to that? It was true. Ty was pretty sure he shouldn’t discourage Theo from taking responsibility for his mistakes. “You did hurt my feelings,” he said as gently as he could. Theo cried harder. “But I understand you were scared.”

For a second he thought maybe that was the wrong thing to say—Theo’s face screwed up even further, like he was about to blurt that he hadn’t been scared —but then he nodded miserably and wiped his nose on his arm. “I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted—oof.” Ty exhaled hard as Theo launched himself off the stool and wrapped his arms around his waist. He could feel tears and snot seeping through the fabric of his shirt, but it seemed like it would be cruel to complain about it, so he just settled his arms around Theo’s shoulders and hugged him back. “I’m glad we made up. Do you want to help make pancakes?”

He and Theo had three full stacks warming in the oven by the time Ollie came in from yardwork, shoulders red from the sun and the rest of him glistening in a way that was way too pornographic for nine in the morning while under child supervision. “Smells good in here,” Ollie commented, glancing back and forth between Ty and Theo with his eyebrows slightly raised.

Ty nodded that yes, they’d made up, and Ollie smiled.

Ty needed him to put a shirt on stat before he caused a cardiac arrest.

“Ty and I made pancakes,” Theo announced unnecessarily. “And we waited for you.”

“You did?” A slightly evil light went on in Ollie’s eyes as he advanced toward Theo with his arms wide open. “That’s so nice of you. You deserve a—”

“Noooo,” Theo squawked, but he realized far too late.

“—great big hug,” Ollie finished. He scooped Theo against his chest.

“Gross!” Theo fought against the hug, laughing and squirming. “Let me go! Dad, you’re all sweaty!”

“I’m just trying to thank you,” Ollie said innocently.

Then his eyes went to Ty—far too late for Ty to escape. He didn’t have time to take a step back before Ollie grabbed him in his free hand and reeled him in too .

At some point in the struggle, Ollie had let go of Theo, or else Theo had escaped, and now Ollie had Ty in his clutches. Ty should probably try to get away. He should probably find this kind of gross. But Ollie smelled like freshly mown grass and clean sweat, and his skin was slick under Ty’s fingers. The upshot of it all was that now Ty was desperately horny and thinking about Ollie fucking him behind the garage after breakfast.

“Thank me by showering,” he yelped, trying to push away as Theo giggled, oblivious.

Ollie must’ve noticed Ty’s semi, because when he let go, the light in his eyes had darkened into the kind of promise they’d be waiting hours to keep.

“I guess I can do that, since breakfast is such a swanky affair in this joint.” He turned to go, giving Ty a perfect view of the way his damp shorts clung to his ass.

Ty took a steadying breath and made himself focus on Theo. “So, what do you think—maple syrup, or jam?”

Unfortunately, as much as he wanted to get started on that after-breakfast fantasy, real life intruded. Ty barely had the dishes stacked next to the dishwasher when Ollie’s phone rang, and he grimaced.

“Mom?” Ty guessed.

“Yeah.” Ollie’s face went stony.

Great. “You good?” Ty asked.

“Guess we’ll see.”

OLLIE TOOK the call in the games room while Ty cajoled Theo into doing the cleanup with him. He’d been tempted not to answer, but he knew the longer he put it off, the worse it would be.

He didn’t know what to expect, so it surprised him when his mother said, “Your father is sleeping on the couch.”

He blinked and settled onto the sofa. Then, remembering the day before, he sprung back up again and sat at the poker table. “I guess he told you what he said.”

“After a lot of beating around the bush,” she said bitterly. “Ollie, I’m sorry.”

He rubbed the skin under his eyes. “Me too. I didn’t mean to cause problems for you and Dad. ”

“No, honey. He did that all by himself.”

That didn’t stop Ollie from feeling guilty about it. He cleared his throat. “Are you going to be okay? I mean, not just you, but you and Dad?”

“That depends on your father too.”

God. “Mom—”

“Ollie,” his mom cut in. “I’m a grown woman. Your father is a grown man.” She paused. “And so are you. I’m sorry we’ve— I’ve —overstepped. You’re doing a great job with Theo. He obviously adores you, and he’s thriving even though he must miss his mother.”

“We both do.” He took a deep breath and released it slowly, noting with relief that the tension he’d been carrying finally seemed to be ebbing. That made sense, probably. Allison had wanted Theo to have a safety net in place if something happened to her. Ollie had felt like fighting with his parents was letting her down. “Listen, if you need some space or some company, I’m sure Ty wouldn’t mind having a guest.”

Despite the situation, that made his mother laugh outright. “Sweetheart, I’m not about to butt into your nesting situation right now. Maybe when you’re a little more… established.” Ollie’s ears burned at the implication. “If your father is uncomfortable, he can leave. I’m quite capable of ignoring him.”

Well, she would be. She’d certainly perfected the cold shoulder. “All right.”

“But I wouldn’t say no to tea, maybe?” she added hopefully. “And perhaps you can introduce me to your Ty properly this time.”

Ollie’s heart stuttered. “You would want that?”

His mother made a noncommittal noise. “What I want is to be a part of my son’s life. My grandson’s life. If that means playing nice with your young man—Ollie, I’ve hardly seen you in more than ten years. I’m sorry that I’ve gotten things wrong. I’m probably still going to get things wrong. But I want to try.”

“Okay.” Jeez, did this room not get any air-conditioning? He could barely breathe. “Okay, we can try.” Then he added, “Uh, but we haven’t told Theo about us yet, so maybe give me a couple days?”

She tutted teasingly. “Oh?” But the pause she left afterward felt reproving. “Why not?”

Well, here was the test—could she really learn to respect Ollie’s authority about his kid, or was he about to get an earful on a topic he’d never expected? “I want to do it the right way—talk to his therapist, get some resources. He just lost his mom. Even though we weren’t together, I don’t want him to feel like I’m replacing her, or worry that I’m not going to be around as much, or… whatever kids who’ve lost a parent worry about when the remaining parent starts dating.”

For a few seconds she was so quiet he thought they might have been disconnected. “Mom?”

She inhaled audibly. “I’m just—thinking. I know your father and I made mistakes with you and your sisters. But you turned out well. I’m proud of you.”

He leaned heavily on his elbows. “Thanks, Mom.”

Several minutes passed before he got up to return to the kitchen.

In the meantime, Ty and Theo had tidied away the dishes, and Theo had planted himself on the living room floor with a book in front of him. Just looking at him in that position made Ollie’s spine and shoulders hurt, but Theo seemed unbothered.

Ty wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen or his bedroom. Finally Ollie found him sitting on the steps of the back deck with a mug of coffee, staring into the middle distance.

Ollie sat one step below him so he could lean on Ty’s knees. He didn’t even think about the intimacy of the gesture until he was relaxing into it, trusting Ty to support him. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Ty might not want to be Ollie’s back rest.

Ty scritched his fingers over Ollie’s scalp in a way that made Ollie’s bones turn to Jell-O. “Was your phone call as fun as mine?”

“It was good, actually,” Ollie said, leaning into his hand like a cat and trying not to lose all motor control. The halfhearted scalp massage felt like something he should be paying for. “Mom wants to make up.” He didn’t feel confident enough in the possible outcome to share details yet, but it was nice to have good news for once.

Of course, the downside of the good news was that, hey, at thirty-two he might actually be responsible for his parents divorcing.

Fuck it. He wasn’t going to ruin the magic of Ty’s fingers by thinking about that. “Who were you talking to?”

“Eliza.” Ty took a sip of his coffee and then set the mug down so he could put both hands in Ollie’s hair. Ollie had discovered religion. “I’m supposed to go over there later today so we can sort out this thing with Alan Chiu.”

No wonder he was brooding. “Sucks,” Ollie offered. “You want any help? Moral support?” He might not be ready to tell Theo yet, and he might not be ready to trust his mom with his kid unsupervised, but Cassie would probably take Theo for the afternoon if he asked. Or maybe he’d want to spend some time with one of his school friends.

“Not yet.” He combed his fingers from front to back, sending delightful tingles down Ollie’s neck and spine. He probably looked like he’d stuck a fork in an electrical socket, but as long as Ty never stopped doing that to his head, he didn’t care. “I’m pretty… yeah.”

Upset, Ollie guessed. Maybe he was the one who should be doing the comforting? He turned his head and looked up. “Bad?”

“She thinks I should move my return to Chicago back a couple days just in case.” Ty’s usual cheerfulness had abandoned him. “If he tries to call my training into question or say I acted in a way that harmed a patient… I don’t know. It shouldn’t affect my work, but anytime people with money are involved….”

Ollie hated this for him. He absently pressed a kiss to the inside of Ty’s knee. “I wish I knew what this guy’s problem was.”

Ty snorted. “You and me both. I’m starting to think he might just be an asshole with a hard-on for power.”

“He wouldn’t be the first.” Ollie had thought he’d signed up to fight people like that, but he’d served with a few of them too. They were everywhere, which made him angry. At least it made some kind of sense when evil people set themselves up as despots in areas with scarce resources. You could almost think, Well, that kind of selfishness makes sense when there’s not enough to go around , even if it was morally deplorable. But it wasn’t like Connecticut was experiencing any kind of scarcity, unless it was a scarcity of decent people with backbone. “You want me to punch him for you?”

Ty barked out a laugh. “No. I can punch my own villains, thank you. Which I won’t be doing because that might actually affect my ability to do my job. Gotta keep that police record clean.”

“Ugh.” Ollie made a face. “I’ll be your alibi. ‘I didn’t see anything, officer.’”

“You can’t get arrested either. You have a kid to look after.”

“You think I’ll get caught?”

He shook his head. “I think I’m a lousy liar and I don’t want to take you down with me. ”

Reluctantly, Ollie conceded the point. “I guess that’s fair.” He’d have to think of a legal, untraceable revenge plan and keep it to himself so Ty couldn’t accidentally confess for him. “Is it bad to say I was looking forward to sneaking around with you all day?”

“Awful,” Ty told him seriously. “Especially since I have to go figure out stupid legal things.”

“I’ll make it up to you later.” Even if they had to sneak back to their own beds afterward.

“You better, after the show you put on this morning.”

“What, cutting the grass?” Ollie asked innocently.

“Looking like you’re about to star in a Corbin Fisher video,” Ty muttered.

Ollie grinned. “ Co- star.”

Ty laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry. You’re so generous to share the spotlight.” He heaved himself to his feet and reached down to pull Ollie up too. “I better get going to Eliza’s or I’m going to be at it until school starts tomorrow.”

Considering the mixed start to the day, Ollie went into the afternoon feeling cheerfully optimistic about life in general. He sent off an email to Theo’s therapist and grilled some hot dogs and veggies for lunch. They ate under the giant patio umbrella on the back porch, and then Theo asked for some batting practice in the yard.

He thought his mother might drop by, whatever she’d said, but she didn’t. At around three Cass sent a message saying their mom had come over and was going to stay there and let their dad reap what he’d sown for a night. Good for her , Ollie thought, and he said as much to Cass.

He and Theo had settled in the games room, Theo begrudgingly doing homework despite the fact that school would be out in three days, Ollie flipping from book to book in Ty’s mother’s collection before literally choosing a book for its bright nineties-comic-style cover art.

Sadly, it didn’t occur to him until he flopped onto the couch that this room might not be great for his ability to concentrate on things that weren’t thoughts of Ty. But he wasn’t going to leave. He had some kind of idea that this time together, working on independent projects, counted for something, parenting-wise. He didn’t want to banish Theo to do homework by himself in case that made him associate school with punishment .

The book quickly sucked him in anyway, painting a vivid picture of a fantasy world comically like earth. Something about it felt familiar, like a worn childhood blanket wrapped around his shoulders, comfortable and broken in. It seemed like only moments had passed when Theo said, “Dad?” and Ollie looked up to realize he’d read fifty pages.

Blinking, he marked the page with one of the coasters from the coffee table and sat up. “What’s up, buddy?”

“Are you gonna get married again like Percy Jackson’s mom?”

Ollie took a moment to sort through his reaction to that, because he didn’t quite know where to start. Well, no, he did—shoving down the panic that somehow Theo had found out about him and Ty before Ollie told him anything. No point jumping to conclusions. He took a deep breath and began with the obvious. “I’ve never been married before.”

Theo put down his pencil and turned in his chair so he was facing Ollie. “Why?”

Talk about a loaded question. Ollie considered a handful of responses— I never found the right person , or I was focused on my job —and discarded each of them for being less honest than he wanted to be. “Most adults want to date someone for a while before they get married to make sure they get along well enough.” Okay, that was an oversimplification. “And I haven’t really had time to date someone like that.”

“’Cause you were a soldier?”

“Exactly.”

Theo digested this for a second before continuing, more hesitantly, “Did you and Mom not get along well enough?”

Oh. That was where this was going. Maybe Ollie should have expected this. He and Allison had always promised to be totally open about how Theo came into the world, allowing for child-appropriate omissions, but this was the first time Theo was asking Ollie about any of it. Maybe he thought Allison had lied?

Ollie sent up a silent prayer of thanks into the universe that Allison had been as straightforward as people came. “Your mom and I were best friends, Theo, but she never wanted to get married to anyone.”

Theo frowned in thought. “Like Annabeth’s mom in Percy Jackson ?”

Thank God for his kid being an avid reader. “Just like that.”

Unfortunately, the questions did not end there. “Did you want to marry her?”

What was in this kid’s homework that turned him into the Spanish Inquisition? “I loved your mom a lot, Theo, but it wasn’t a romantic kind of love. I was happy being her friend. But when she asked me if I wanted to be your dad….” Ollie pursed his lips and considered his next words. “I always wanted to have a family, and I couldn’t do that by myself when I was in the Army. But your mom gave me the chance to be a dad, and that was the best thing anyone ever did for me. I will always love her, and I will always miss her, okay?”

“Okay.” But if he’d expected this to assuage Theo’s curiosity, he was sadly disappointed. “But you still want to get married someday?”

Ollie wondered if guilt could give you hives. Did Theo know something about him and Ty? Why couldn’t Theo have asked him this tomorrow, when Ollie had professional advice on how to handle it? “Yeah,” Ollie hedged. “If I find someone I get along with well enough—and someone you get along with well enough. You’re my number-one guy, remember?”

Theo rolled his eyes. “I know, Dad.” He slid off the chair and rearranged himself on the carpet near Ollie’s feet.

“And—if I ever do get married, whoever it is, I’m not going to let anyone try to replace your mom.”

Nodding, Theo plucked at the decaying carpet. Ollie couldn’t quite get a read on him with his face bowed like that, but he didn’t think Theo was on the verge of tears. He seemed thoughtful but calm. It struck Ollie how much growing up his kid had done in the past seven months, between beating cancer and losing his mother and starting a new school, even getting caught up in math class. He was resilient and brave. Ollie couldn’t take credit for much of it, but that didn’t stop him from swelling with pride.

When Theo looked up, Ollie found he was right—no tears, no red-rimmed eyes, just a serious expression and a slightly furrowed brow. “Will you tell me about her?”

“Of course!” The syllables fell over each other trying to escape his mouth, pushed out by relief. Theo’s therapist had told him he’d ask when he was ready, but Ollie was starting to wonder. Now all he had to do was hold it together while talking about his dead best friend. He patted the couch beside him and waited for Theo to climb up. He didn’t sit in Ollie’s lap—he was too old for that, apparently, which sucked a little because physical comfort came a lot easier to Ollie than talking—but he pulled his legs up onto the cushions and turned his body toward Ollie’s so his shin touched Ollie’s thigh. “What do you want to know?”

“When did you start being friends?”

“Oh no, you’re going to make me do math?” Ollie joked. Theo giggled. “I was—I guess I would’ve been twenty-two, so more than ten years ago. Your mom was a little older, almost thirty, I think. I didn’t know that right away, though.” Allison would’ve smacked him good-naturedly for revealing her age, just for show.

Theo pulled a pillow into his lap. “How come?”

“Well—did your mom ever tell you how we met?” Off Theo’s headshake, Ollie smiled. “It was a book club. When you’re deployed, you’re either really busy”—trying not to die—“or you’re bored. But our base had a good internet connection, so I went online and found a book club. We would all read a book a week, and there was a discussion board—like Twitter, I guess, but all private, and just for talking about books—and we’d all talk about what we liked and what we didn’t.”

“So you didn’t know that Mom was in the Army too?”

“Not at first. And she was already out by the time we started talking to each other. We were never deployed together, but it was nice that she understood what the life was like. Once we realized we had that in common, we started emailing too. Your mom was really smart—good taste in books too.”

“She read a lot when I was in the hospital,” Theo said. “But I don’t remember the books she read just for her. What did she like?”

Ollie thought back. “Oh, almost everything—thrillers, mysteries, science fiction. But her favorite was fantasy.” His eyes were naturally drawn to the book on the table. He picked it up and considered the author’s name and the cover. “Actually, I think we might’ve read a book from this series together. I probably still have the notes she sent me.”

Theo sat forward, eyes wide as saucers. “Do you still have the books?”

He shook his head. “I had the e-book versions—much easier to get when you’re deployed—and I think I lost my e-reader in the middle of my second tour. But I have the titles somewhere. We can look them up at the library. Not all of them are good for kids,” he warned, “but some of them are. We’ll read those ones first, and we can do the others when you get older.”

“And we can read Mom’s notes?” Theo asked hopefully .

As if Ollie could deny him anything. “We can absolutely read Mom’s notes,” he agreed. “As long as you promise to try not to repeat any of the bad words at school or baseball camp.” Allison had elevated profanity to an art form.

“Can we start right now?”

Nice try. Ollie was 100 percent sure Theo had not finished his math homework. “We can start soon. After school’s out, okay? I need to read the books again to make sure they’re okay first.”

Theo heaved out a huge sigh. “Fiiiine.” But he grinned, so Ollie knew he was being dramatic for effect.

Ollie ruffled his hair. “I love you, kid.”

Theo batted his hand away but then did a faceplant in his chest and wrapped his arms around him. “I love you too, Dad.”

Some days Ollie really felt like he had a handle on this whole parenting gig. But for the most part, he was pretty sure his success could be attributed to all the groundwork Allison had laid.

“I’m gonna finish my homework,” Theo when they released each other. “Is Ty gonna make dinner tonight?”

Was that a jab at Ollie’s perfect grilled cheese, or did he just want to know when Ty would be home? Ollie picked up his phone and sent a quick text. You home for dinner?

ETA 40 min, I’m bringing bbq. Make a salad?

That somewhat answered Ollie’s unwritten question about how things had gone with Eliza. He sent back a thumbs-up emoji and set a timer so that he didn’t get too sucked into his book.

He’d washed all the veg and was in the process of shredding carrots because Ty thought slices were too crunchy when Theo shuffled in.

“All done with your homework?”

“Yeah. It was easy.” He pulled a chair up to the counter.

“Easy? Weren’t you doing your math?”

“Yeah, but I’m good at word problems.” He climbed up so he could stand at Ollie’s elbow.

Ollie handed him a carrot to peel. “Careful to move away from your fingers, all right? No bleeding all over the place before Ty gets home.”

Giggling, Theo took the peeler. “But I can bleed all over the place after Ty gets home? ”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t.” Ollie made a face to make him laugh harder. “But if you’re going to do it, do it when Ty’s around to patch you up.”

“Ohhh-kayyyyy,” Theo sighed and then ruined it with another giggle.

Ollie reached for the cucumber, grinning.

“Dad? Do you know why Ty’s in trouble for trying to help the lady at the grocery store?”

The grin crumbled into ash. Ollie dismembered the cucumber. He did, in fact, know why. What he didn’t know was how to explain it to his son without destroying his faith in humanity. “Kind of,” he hedged.

Ollie steadied the chair while Theo reached over to wash his hands. “Did he do something wrong?”

“No, buddy. But you know how Twyla wasn’t invited to Mel’s birthday party because sometimes she’s not very nice?” A year ago, news of Mel being excluded from Twyla’s birthday party, to which every other classmate had been invited, had reached Ollie across thousands of miles of scandalized, outraged mother.

Theo painstakingly peeled exactly one strip of skin off the carrot, then went over it a second time before judging the job sufficient to move on to the next section. “Yeah.”

“Well—some grown-ups never grow out of that.”

It took Theo until he’d finished peeling the carrot, his tongue sticking out between his teeth in concentration, to respond. “So Ty has a bully?”

Okay, so Theo understood perfectly what Ollie was still grappling with. That meant he was doing a good job as a father, right? That was what he was choosing to believe today. “Kind of. Sometimes people don’t like us and make our lives miserable for no reason.”

Theo handed Ollie the carrot to shred and picked up a second one. “Is that why Ty is going away?”

It would look like that to a kid, wouldn’t it? “No,” Ollie said. “He just has to go back to his job in Chicago.” When the carrot had been shredded until he could shred no more, he broke the remainder in half and popped one in his mouth, setting the other aside for Theo.

“So if we stood up to his bully and got him to stop, Ty wouldn’t stay?”

Something in Ollie’s chest pinched. “I wish it were that easy, kid. ”

Frowning, Theo ruthlessly gouged away the carrot skin. “But Ty is rich. Everyone says so. He doesn’t have to go to work. Why can’t he stay here?”

The something unpinched and became a bruise. Ollie hadn’t let himself ask that question. After all, why would Ty want to stay when people treated him like this?

But not everyone did. Theo adored him. Henry and Eliza liked him. The kids on his baseball team looked up to him. And Ollie—

Ollie wasn’t going to be the guy who asked him to stay when he didn’t want to.

“His team in Chicago needs him,” he said finally. “And so do the people who live there. You know Ty—he likes to help people.”

Theo scowled. “I don’t know why he wants to help people when it gets him in trouble.”

Ollie finished off the last of the salad preparation and swept the veggie bits into a paper bag. Ty was militant about compost.

Then he let himself feel the impact of the words and turned to help Theo off the chair. “Hey, come here.”

He was pretty sure Theo didn’t understand why Ollie was hugging him like his life depended on it.

“Dad? Are you okay?”

No.

Despite his resolve to be truthful, Ollie let himself tell a tiny white lie this once. “I’m okay. I just need a minute to think about words, all right?”

Theo looked up with his arms still wrapped around Ollie. He had one eyebrow cocked—a trick Ollie had never mastered and one that made him look uncannily like a younger version of his mother—and an extremely dry expression for an eight-year-old. “You’re weird, Dad.”

Snorting, Ollie released him. “Okay, here’s the thing.” He pressed his lips together. “Everyone has power—all different kinds of power—and we can use that power to make a difference.”

Theo climbed up onto a barstool. “Even me?”

“Especially you.” Ollie ruffled his hair. “You’re young and you’re smart, so you have lots of time to decide what kind of difference you’re going to make. Ty uses his power to try to help people who are hurt, but it doesn’t always work. Sometimes people blame him for that and he gets in trouble. But he tries anyway.”

“Why? ”

Because he is kind and brave and ungodly stubborn. “Well, you’d have to ask him to know for sure.” Ollie smiled, though that felt bruised too. “But I think it’s because he’d be really sad if he stopped believing he could make the world a better place. And that’s what I want you to remember, okay? Just because things are hard sometimes, or they don’t turn out the way you want, that doesn’t mean you should stop trying.”

Please never stop trying, kid.

An eternity passed before Theo nodded, apparently accepting this explanation. Ollie was halfway through letting himself relax when Theo asked, “Is that why you joined the Army?”

The words hit like a sledgehammer to the solar plexus.

Ollie wanted to say no. God, worse than that, he wanted the answer to be no. He wanted to cling to what he’d told himself for more than a decade, that he’d joined the Army because he didn’t know what else to do with his life but he knew he wanted to make his own decisions.

That was only a tiny sliver of the truth. Ollie hadn’t signed up to get shot at just to avoid his parents controlling his life. He hadn’t been that na?ve.

He’d been a different kind of na?ve. Sure, you could change the world by shooting people. Maybe someone could even change the world for the better that way. Lord knew there were people who needed shooting.

But Ollie didn’t want to be the one pulling the trigger.

“Yeah,” he admitted.

And then, thank God, there was the sound of the side door busting open and a sudden gust of smoky-barbecue-scented air. “I’m home,” Ty announced.

With wide eyes, Theo looked at Ollie and said, “Oh my God. I am so hungry .”

“See,” Ollie said, “he’s making the world a better place already.”

Ty entered the kitchen in time for this remark, arms laden with so much food Ollie had to wonder how he managed it all. He stepped forward and grabbed a tray before anything could fall.

“You were talking about me?” Ty asked, fluttering his eyelashes as Ollie set the food down and removed the foil to reveal mac and cheese for seventy-five. But there was a real question underneath. Ollie shook his head. They hadn’t had that talk yet.

“About how that man who doesn’t like you is a bully,” Theo said, sliding off the barstool. “Did you get cornbread? ”

Gasping, Ty clutched his chest. “Oh my God. I forgot.” But he only lasted a fraction of a second looking at Theo’s heartbroken face before he caved. “Just kidding, I obviously got cornbread. What do you take me for?”

Ollie still felt a little like a walking bruise, but sitting with Ty and Theo and eating his body weight in smoked meat and cheesy pasta soothed the ache. Afterward Theo conned them into a game of catch.

Ollie didn’t get to grill Ty on his long day with Eliza until everyone was showered and Theo was in bed, having insisted he wanted to read for ten minutes. He was passed out with the light on when Ollie went to check on him two minutes later.

Ollie flicked the light off, pulled the door mostly shut behind him, and joined Ty in the living room.

“So.” He flopped down next to Ty on the couch. He looked… unfairly good. His shirt was clinging to him with the moisture from his shower, and his skin was pink and fresh. Ollie wanted to bite the scar on his jawline, or maybe just rub his stubble against Ty’s. “How was your day, honey?”

Ty shook his head. “Better than yours, by the look of things. Everything okay?”

“Couple deep conversations with the kid.” Nothing Ollie wanted to think about right now. “I feel old. Distract me. Are you going to sue Alan Chiu’s pants off?”

“Nah. There’s nothing in there I’m interested in.” He gave Ollie a quick once-over, not exactly blatant but not subtle either, like he was testing the waters. “ Your pants, on the other hand….”

For some reason the back of Ollie’s neck went hot. “What about them?”

Ty put a hand on the bend of his knee. That was hot too. “Well, I don’t know. I’m hoping they don’t need legal action, but you did say it’s been a long day….”

Grinning, Ollie kicked his feet up on the ottoman. The motion dislodged Ty’s palm, moving it higher up the inside of Ollie’s thigh. “I gotta be honest”—he let himself look over at Ty; two could play the once-over game, but he let himself linger a little longer—“if you’re trying to get into my pants, I don’t think they’re gonna fit you.”

Ty grinned back. “What if I let you into mine, then? ”

Ollie laughed out loud. What a fucking day he’d had—what a week—and here he was with his boyfriend on their couch, laughing at stupid pickup lines and suddenly desperately horny.

“Hey.” Ty pouted theatrically. “Was that a yes?”

Instead of answering, Ollie rolled over on the couch until he had Ty pinned between his thighs. He caged him in with his arms on the back of the sofa and leaned down to brush the side of his nose over Ty’s, their mouths a whisper apart.

Ty’s eyes went dark and his breath went heavy.

Ollie said, “Maybe.”

Ty surged up and wrangled him into a kiss that was half passion, half laughter, and 100 percent mutual enthusiasm. The difficult parts of the day fell away under the onslaught of something almost giddy, until only the press of their bodies and the mounting urge to act on the fire simmering in his blood remained.

He was in the process of discovering whether Ty liked his lip gently bitten—conclusive yes, if the desperate moan and the arch of his hips were any indication—when Ty gasped, “Bed?”

And—okay, right, yes. The last time Ollie did this, he wasn’t the primary caregiver of a third grader. Bed, or more specifically a room with a door that closed, sounded like a great idea.

Sneaking down to Ty’s bedroom reminded Ollie of being a teenager caught up in a whirlwind of hormones and first kisses. They kept laughing softly and cursing under their breath as they ran into doorways, tripped on the trail of clothes they were leaving in their wake.

Admittedly, Ollie hadn’t had a lot of sex in his life, but none of it had been like this, so easily joyful. He followed Ty onto his mattress, oof ing when Ty somehow elbowed him in the ribs. He caught Ty’s apologetic snicker in his mouth and pinned his wrists above his head, just to keep him out of trouble.

It didn’t work, of course. Ollie promptly forgot about holding them there because he was too busy touching Ty everywhere—the thick waves of his hair, the sensitive sides of his neck, the dip of his collarbone. When he applied his mouth to the inside curve of Ty’s pectoral muscle, Ty gasped and scored his nails lightly over Ollie’s bare shoulders, and Ollie shuddered so hard it startled him into stillness.

He looked up and caught Ty’s eyes, gone wide and black and curious in the darkness, and said, “Let’s come back to that later,” and tasted Ty’s breathless laughter under his tongue as he left a biting trail downward.

He was teasing his thumbs over the V of Ty’s pelvis, watching the muscles jump as Ty squirmed at the attention, watching Ty’s hard cock leak against his stomach and debating whether he had the confidence to put his mouth on that next, when Ty kneed him in the shoulder.

He was grinning, red-faced and sheepish, as he offered Ollie a bottle of lube. “Not that I don’t appreciate the enthusiasm, but no telling how much time’s on the clock.”

Ollie bit him on the thigh, half convinced Ty was trying to let him off the hook for his inexperience. “I’m not doing a speedrun.” But, well, he was trying to be more honest. “This might be kinda sloppy.”

If Ty had a smartass remark about that—and Ollie would’ve bet money he did—he never managed to make it. All that escaped him as Ollie licked a stripe up the underside of his cock was a strangled animal sound.

It didn’t sound like a criticism. Ollie did it again, bracing his body over Ty’s to keep him from wriggling, and then pinned his dick against his stomach so he could mouth his balls while he scrabbled one-handed for the lube.

This time the noise Ty made was louder, higher pitched. “No fair— fuck .”

Fair? Ollie flicked open the cap and pulled his mouth away from Ty’s groin. The temperature change made the skin of his balls contract, or maybe he was just that sensitive. “Are there rules I don’t know about?”

“Yeah, you’re not—Jesus.” Ollie lifted Ty’s thigh over his shoulder to give himself better access. “Not supposed to look that good and make me feel this good at the same time—”

Ollie pressed a biting kiss to the top of his thigh and squeezed a handful of slick over his fingers. “I think you might’ve been doing sex wrong.”

“Excuse you—”

Ollie pushed a finger inside, shivering in anticipation at the way Ty’s body clung to him, velvety and hot.

“—just because I’ve never fucked someone as hot as you—”

“Flatterer.” Jesus, Ty must not be counting himself. The way he looked spread out like this, his skin a canvas of art he’d chosen and adventures he’d lived, evidence of the lives he’d changed, saved, lost. He should be in some kind of pornographic museum, except no, because Ollie didn’t want anyone else to see him like this. “Or are you fishing for compliments?”

Ty clenched down as Ollie curled his finger. “Not compliments I’m trying to catch here.”

Cute. “No?” He added a second digit. “What’re you using for bait?”

“Oh my God,” Ty laughed, and suddenly Ollie was the one biting back a groan, because he way he tightened around Ollie’s finger—Ollie wanted that on his cock, and why wasn’t he moving faster, again? His dick wanted to know. “I thought I was using premium-grade Shut Up and Fuck Me, but I think I might’ve grabbed a pair of white New Balance sneakers and a grill by mistake, ’cause all I’m catching is dad jokes—”

Ollie pushed in a third finger, mouth suddenly dry. His comebacks had deserted him. All his blood had pooled in his dick and higher brain function had gone offline. He stared at his fingers disappearing into Ty’s hole, transfixed at the sight, the sound of it, the smell of lube and sex. He licked his lips as Ty’s cock jerked and blurted precome onto his stomach, raised his left hand and smeared his fingers through it, then wrapped his fingers around the shaft and stroked.

Planting his feet on the bed, Ty arched his whole body off the mattress, keening in his throat like he’d been struck by lightning. Like Ollie made him feel so good he’d lost control of his body. “Ollie,” he pleaded. “Come on .” His voice broke.

So did Ollie’s restraint. He withdrew his fingers, wiped them carelessly on his thigh, and reached for the condom, suddenly aching. When he drizzled more lube on his wrapped dick, his hands shook enough that he spilled on the sheets.

“You’re fucking unreal ,” Ollie rasped, without realizing he was going to speak, and Ty went scarlet from hairline to shoulders.

Oh God, if he was going to react like that, he was getting compliments whether he fished for them or not. Ollie knelt up on the bed and pulled Ty’s thighs over his. Goose bumps broke out on his chest as his erection brushed against the curve of Ty’s ass.

“Ollie,” Ty protested, or begged, or—Ollie didn’t know, but whatever he was asking for, he was going to get it .

“The way you look.” He took himself in hand and lined up, intoxicated by the heat of Ty’s body. He paused with the head of his cock just touching Ty’s hole, felt it twitch against him. “The way you want me, it makes me feel insane.”

With a shudder, Ty tried to push his ass down, like he couldn’t wait. Ollie barely held him still. “Fuck, c’mon.”

“Yeah,” Ollie agreed nonsensically, and thrust inside.

Ty made some kind of sound—a gasp or a moan or a curse. Ollie didn’t hear it. His world had narrowed and darkened and focused, and sound had fallen away. There was only the perfect heat of Ty’s body, the rictus of pleasure etched into his face, the unexpected squeeze of his fingers between Ollie’s.

Ollie didn’t remember moving his hand, didn’t remember Ty moving his.

Sound returned to the world in a crash of thundering heartbeats as blood pounded in his ears. Sweat dripped between his shoulder blades. Without his conscious input, Ollie’s hips jerked.

Ty’s fingers squeezed tighter. His other hand clawed its way to Ollie’s waist, then up to his shoulder. Nails scored across the back of his neck, and Ollie bowed into it, his mouth falling open.

“Ty.”

His stomach clenched. The pressure around him had every nerve in his body primed for pleasure.

He wanted to see Ty’s first.

“You’re beautiful.” Ollie had no more control over his mouth than he did of his hips. Both were working without him now, intent on wringing every perfect note they could out of Ty’s perfect mouth.

Beautiful was a stupid compliment. Ollie knew that. But he didn’t have any other way to describe how it felt to watch someone else beam with pride when his kid hit a baseball. What else would he call someone who invited a perfect stranger and his son to live in their house and made them feel like they were doing him a favor? Was there another word for a person who made every day brighter, warmer, more worthwhile?

It didn’t matter if the compliment fell short. Ty flushed darker anyway, almost writhing into the mattress. His eyes were hooded, pupils wide. Spit glistened on his perfect mouth .

“You’re so fucking hot. I want to make you feel so good.” Words kept falling out of him. His hands had gone to autopilot too. He released his grip on Ty’s fingers and pressed his thumb to Ty’s lower lip. He wanted to kiss him.

But he couldn’t bend like that and fuck like this, and he wanted to give Ty what he needed. “Ty, tell me how to touch you, baby.”

He didn’t expect Ty to exhale hard against his thumb and hook his long legs around Ollie’s back. Ollie might not be able to bend for that kiss, but Ty could bend fine. He curled his body under Ollie and pulled in with his thighs, and holy gods he was perfect. “Like this,” Ty said, half begging, as if he needed to, as if Ollie hadn’t just been waiting to give him everything he wanted. “Just— yeah .”

Ollie could read the play from here. He let his lips touch Ty’s in a series of fleeting, sipping kisses, all he could manage while thrusting into him, short, sharp jabs of his hips that punched ridiculous, obscene sounds from Ty’s lungs. They sounded as good as Ty felt around him, hot and slick. The air tasted like sex. Even the slight rasp of Ty’s stubble under Ollie’s lips when their kisses broke sloppy lit up Ollie’s brain like a drug.

He couldn’t last like this. His orgasm was clawing its way up from his balls, coiling like a spring, but Ollie fought it back. Not yet. Ty first.

“Like this?” Ollie breathed, nearly into Ty’s mouth.

Ty keened in response and ran his nails over Ollie’s scalp again. Ollie was a little worried he was going to develop a Pavlovian response that made it impossible to get a haircut in public. “Like—”

He dug his heels into Ollie’s ass, pulling him in tighter, directing his thrusts.

And then something clicked . Autopilot disengaged. Ollie had learned the terrain. He knew the controls.

Ty had shown him what he wanted, and now Ollie could give it to him—deliberately, consciously, continuously. The way he deserved. “There?” he asked, but he knew. He knew by the tension building in Ty’s voice and body, by the sharp stinging pain from Ty’s nails on his back.

And thank God, because Ollie couldn’t last much longer.

“God, you’re so good for me.” Okay, he still wasn’t in control of his mouth, but Ty didn’t seem to mind. Ollie got a hand under Ty’s thigh and pulled his leg higher, deepened the angle just so. Ty’s face went slack and his eyes closed as his body tightened. He had to be close. God, please let him be close. “Wanna make you come, baby, how—tell me how to make you—”

He never got to finish the sentence. Anything else he might’ve said was lost in a shocked, almost hurt noise from Ty, and then his body clamped down tight and something hot spurted between them because Ty was coming now —Ollie was fucking it out of him, thick white ropes of it. Ollie made a sound of his own and slid his hand between them, wanting to make it last and last, until finally Ty twitched away from his touch instead of into it.

Ollie did that. Ollie did that , and now he was hurtling toward his own orgasm, half out of his mind with pleasure.

“Ollie.” Ty’s voice was gravelly, low. Wrecked. He ran his fingernails up the back of Ollie’s neck again, into his hair, tugged him down. Kissed him.

Ollie’s orgasm shook out of him. He poured the sound into Ty’s mouth, trembling everywhere, in his shoulders and his knees and his lungs. The world went gray and fuzzy.

Touch returned first—the sensitive squeeze of Ty’s hole around his softening dick, the warmth of his breath against Ollie’s cheek, and the slow, purposeful tease of fingernails over his scalp. The rest came back all at once, so that Ollie was blinking at Ty’s hazy blue eyes and pink cheeks and smelling their sweat and hearing Ty’s soft, almost disbelieving laugh.

“The earth moved for you too, huh?”

Ollie didn’t have words yet. Gingerly, he reached down to grip the base of the condom and pulled out. He rolled over. Then he flailed for a Kleenex from Ty’s nightstand, flung the condom on it, and lay there for a moment, breathing at the ceiling.

His other hand was holding Ty’s again.

Finally he said, “I didn’t know it had stopped.”

Ty turned to look at him—Ollie heard the rustle of his hair against the sheets. After a few seconds, he decided he was brave enough to meet his gaze.

“Until I met you,” Ollie clarified. He couldn’t have said when his world stopped, though it had probably been before Theo’s mother died. Maybe when he entered the service .

Ty flushed a deep, charming almost-purple. Ollie leaned closer until their noses touched each other’s cheeks. It was more intimate than a kiss, somehow.

When Ty blinked, Ollie felt the flutter of his eyelashes. “You’re just a big romantic sap, aren’t you?”

“Shhh,” Ollie said. “It’s cuddling time.”

They should get up and shower, and Ollie should go back to his own room. In case Theo had a nightmare, or he did.

But not yet. Right now he wanted a few more minutes to bask in the scent of Ty’s sheets and listen to their heartbeats and feel it, really feel it, as the world around them spun on.