Homecoming for Beginners

Chapter 17

IF TY thought the kids were excited about the upcoming end of the school year last week, it was nothing compared to today. Frankly he couldn’t blame them. He was chomping at the bit to get out of this place too. The air-conditioning couldn’t keep up with the burgeoning summer heat, and green grass and blue skies were calling for everyone to head outdoors, where at least you could get a breeze.

But a classful of chattering, hyperactive kids couldn’t bring him down—not even when he took Jason’s lunch duty. To be honest, lunch duty improved his mood, since it meant he was outside in the beautiful weather instead of in the soulless, windowless teachers’ lounge.

And then Henry found him and made everything even better.

“So, last game of the season this weekend. Are you ready?”

Ty polished off the last of the water in his insulated bottle and stuck it in his side shorts pocket. Were cargo shorts particularly fashionable? No. Did he care about that? Once upon a time he would have, but right now he was just happy to have a place to store various elements of his lunch. “Are we ever ready?” The team had gone unvictorious—Ty had actually had to come up with an antonym for undefeated . And the last game of the season was against the top team in the area.

“We might be this time.” Henry raised his travel mug to his lips. He was being intentionally cryptic and Ty was not going to fall for it.

Ty fell for it. “Oh?”

The tiniest hint of a smirk appeared at the corner of Henry’s mouth. “Rumor has it the reigning champs have the mumps.”

Ty was a medical professional. He had Seen Things. He could barely walk down the produce aisle at the grocery store without having flashbacks to the things people put inside their bodies. The hardware store? Forget about it. One look at a Maglite and he was back in an ambulance speeding down Highway 41, biting his lip so he wouldn’t make a joke about the sun shining out a seventeen- year-old’s ass.

It still took him a moment to digest Henry’s words. “Excuse me?” He blinked. “There’s a vaccine for that.”

He knew better. He did. After working as a health teacher at a public school, he really did .

“Tell it to those kids’ parents,” Henry said wryly.

“I am pretty sure that would get me fired.”

“You’re leaving anyway. Might as well get the last word.”

A tempting prospect, for sure. But Ty already felt like he was being run out of town, even if his return to Chicago had nothing to do with Alan Chiu and whatever flashlight-size bug had crawled up his ass. Besides, he was in too good a mood to spoil it with a fight. Summer was here. Soon he’d get to go back to his real job. And he had Ollie. The timing sucked and the details were fuzzy, but Ty had never clicked with anyone like this, and he wasn’t going to let a little distance ruin it.

Especially not after last night. He shivered pleasantly thinking about it.

“I’ll take that under advisement.”

They ambled around the schoolyard together, supervising vaguely. Ty had never had yard duty and, if he was honest, was not particularly motivated to make sure he did it properly. Walking in aimless silence suited him fine. Occasionally a child ran up and requested permission to go inside and use the bathroom, which baffled him. What was he going to do? Say no, you have to pee behind a bush?

But while Ty was lost in his own world of sunshine and Ollie Kent’s kisses, Henry was obviously somewhere else, because after a few minutes of what Ty thought had been companionable silence, Henry said, “Seriously, kid, you’re killing me.”

Startled, Ty glanced over. “What?”

“Are you kidding me? After the way you ran out of the staff party on Saturday?” Any minute now Henry would start pulling out his hair. “You’re just going to keep me in suspense? Eliza will kill me if I don’t come home with details.”

What? “You’re going to blame this on your wife? I was at your house all day yesterday . She could’ve asked me herself.”

“No, she couldn’t. Ollie’s her nephew. Kind of. Can’t mix business and personal. ”

That was the biggest load of horseshit Ty ever heard; everyone in this town was all over everyone else’s personal business. Henry was making excuses for his own curiosity. Ty gave him the eyebrow.

“Ty,” Henry said plaintively.

Ty shoved his hands into his pockets and grinned at the sky.

Finally Henry laughed at him and shook his head. “Good for you. Does that mean you’re sticking around?”

Why did everyone think that? “I still have to go back to Chicago.” Where he lived? Where his job was? Where people didn’t mistrust him on sight because he locked a bunch of chickens in an educational building one time when he was sixteen?

Henry raised his hands in surrender. “Hey, it was only a question. I don’t blame you for going back.” He paused. “I just thought, you know…. Ollie Kent seems like a pretty decent reason to stick around.”

Ty couldn’t have stopped the smitten expression from spreading across his face if his life depended on it. “Yeah.” Except now he kind of sounded like a dick, because—well, he wasn’t sticking around, exactly. He would commute back and forth for his four-off, but what if…?

“Ty.” Henry clapped a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”

It totally would. No point borrowing trouble. Tonight Ollie could tell Theo what was going on, and they could… plan a life. Together. Apart sometimes, sure, but people made it work.

By the time Ty picked Theo up at the end of the day, he had almost convinced himself he wasn’t nervous.

“Hey, Ty!” Theo schooled his face and voice into something solemn. “I mean, Mr. Morris.”

“I will be so glad when you don’t have to call me that ever again.” Ty grabbed his backpack, because he could, and slung it over his shoulder. “Did you have a good day today?”

“Yeah. We got to play baseball in gym class.”

“That is a good day,” Ty agreed. Maybe sometime this summer he and Ollie could take Theo to a real game. If Ollie was up for bringing Theo to visit in Chicago, they could see the Cubs. Ty had a connection with someone who worked in emergency services at Wrigley. He could totally leverage that into good seats. He should look up when the Nats would be in town.

On the drive home, Theo gave him the play-by-play. If he never made it as a pro baseball player, he’d be a pretty good color commentator, Ty thought. Assuming he didn’t become a famous writer or an astronaut or something. Listening to the breakdown didn’t require a lot of input from him, so he mostly just hummed in the right places and thought about dinner. They still had plenty of leftover barbecue, but what would be the best way to heat it up without drying it out? And he should probably go heavier on the vegetables this time. They’d polished off the mac and cheese the night before—

The train of thought screeched to a halt when the garage door opened and he saw Ollie’s car in its spot.

“Cool, Dad’s home early,” Theo enthused. “Ty, do we have time for batting practice before dinner?”

All Ty’s mental alarm bells were ringing at full volume.

So were the notifications on his phone.

“Uh, not sure, kiddo.” He pulled his cell out of his pocket. Three texts, all from Ollie’s sister.

Hey, do you know where Ollie is?

I heard some news through the grapevine at work and he’s not answering my texts.

I’m sure he’s fine, just… let me know if you see him?

Ty looked at Ollie’s car in the garage, thought about the way he’d left work on Friday, and made an educated guess.

“Uh, maybe?” Ty said after a moment, realizing Theo was still waiting for an answer. “Hey, bud, can you do me a favor? Can you go around the back of the garage and water the tomato plants? It’s been pretty hot, and I don’t want to lose them before they even give us any fruit.”

Blessedly, Theo didn’t ask why, which gave Ty five minutes to go inside and make sure Theo wasn’t about to walk in on… he didn’t know what.

He pushed open the side door. “Ollie?”

“Here.”

The voice came from the kitchen. Ty followed it and found Ollie sitting at the breakfast bar, staring at a beer bottle.

It was open but still full, condensation puddling on the counter. Ty didn’t see any empties.

Ty cleared his throat. “Are you okay? Your sister’s freaking out.”

Without taking his eyes from the beer bottle, Ollie said, “Fine. ”

Ty glanced out the window. Theo was still unraveling the hose so he could reach the tomato plants. “Okay. Cool-with-being-normal-around-your-kid fine or maybe-I-should-get-him-out-of-the-house fine?”

Ollie flinched. His eyes flicked to the clock on the microwave. It read 3:58. Ty hoped he wasn’t planning to sit there watching his beer until five, when it was warm and flat, before he drank it.

The muscles at the corner of Ollie’s jaw bunched. “I’m not going to hurt anybody. I’m not unsafe .”

Translation—not a PTSD episode, just unfit for company.

“I didn’t ask if you were unsafe. I asked if you want Theo to see you like this or if you’d rather he not. You have about three minutes before he gets tired of watering the tomatoes.”

Sooner or later Theo and Ollie would both have to learn how to deal with Ollie’s bad days. But maybe that didn’t have to be right now, today. Maybe today Ty could act as a buffer.

After another moment of muscle bunching so intense Ty wondered if Ollie had dental coverage, he finally relaxed a fraction. A long breath escaped him and he dry-washed his face with both hands. This time, when he took them away, he looked Ty in the eye. “My mom’s with Mel today. You could take him to Cassie’s. She’ll be happy to have him.”

Good , Ty thought. “Okay. I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

He made a detour to Theo’s bedroom for a pair of pajamas and a change of clothes, in case, as well as his baseball glove. Then he grabbed a fresh toothbrush from his own bathroom cabinet and stuffed everything in a duffel bag.

Theo met him as he got to the door. “Change of plans,” Ty said cheerfully. “You’re invited to spend some time with Mel. Think you can teach her how to throw a better pitch?”

Theo looked at Ty, then back at the garage. Ty had left the door open, and the taillights of Ollie’s car were still visible. “Is Dad okay?” he asked.

“He’s okay. Just a bad day,” Ty assured him. “He doesn’t want his mood to rub off on you. Why don’t you go give him a hug, and I’ll take you to see Mel and your grandma?”

God, he hoped that was the right move. On the other hand, he couldn’t imagine a hug from Theo making Ollie feel worse .

A few minutes later they were pulling up to Cassie’s house. Ty had texted Cassie while Theo and Ollie were saying goodbye, and Ollie’s mother and Mel were waiting for them on the front step when they pulled up.

Theo and Mel ran off toward the backyard before Ty even made it out of the car with Theo’s bag. He grabbed it from his trunk and met Mrs. Kent on the walkway.

“Um. Thanks for taking him,” he said awkwardly. He hoped this didn’t make her think Ollie couldn’t take care of Theo on his own or that Ty didn’t want to help when things got tough. “I know it’s last-minute.”

Mrs. Kent took the bag almost as stiffly as Ty held it out, but her face stayed soft. “It’s no trouble. I’m delighted to have more time with my grandson.”

“He’s pretty great,” Ty said. He hoped she could tell he meant it. “His dad’s not bad either.”

For a moment she just looked at him, and then she smiled. “They’re lucky to have you, I think.”

A shriek of laughter from the backyard split the afternoon, and they both turned instinctively toward the sound. Mrs. Kent shook her head. “I think that’s my cue. Tell Ollie… well. Maybe give him a hug for me.”

Ty swallowed thickly. “I can do that.”

The drive home passed in a blur. He parked in the garage on autopilot. Keys in his pocket. Shoes by the door.

Ollie hadn’t moved from the breakfast bar in the kitchen, though now the clock read 4:23 and his beer bottle was half-empty.

Fuck it , Ty thought. He needed some indication of how fucked-up today was. He opened the fridge.

Just a six-pack, one bottle missing. Good. Ty grabbed one for himself and opened it, but he didn’t sit down. That would make looking at Ollie awkward, and he had a feeling he was going to need to pay attention.

Finally Ollie said, “I got fired.”

“Yeah, I kinda guessed.” Based on the fact that he got home before six thirty and the intense sexual tension between him and his beer bottle. “They tell you why?”

He snorted. “For leaving in the middle of my shift with no notice.”

“The middle of your shift where your kid’s school and all your family members called the office because they couldn’t get ahold of you and they never once picked up?”

A muscle twitched in Ollie’s jaw. “Same one. ”

“Can they do that?”

“I’m—I was—still on probation. Or I was. They can do whatever they want.” Another swig of the bottle. It had one-third left now.

“What the fuck.” Ty uncapped his bottle. “I could call Eliza, if you want. I mean—she’s your aunt actually, so—”

“No.”

Okay… maybe Ty was approaching this the wrong way. He took a sip from his own bottle. “Look… you hated that job anyway, right?”

Ollie grunted.

“So what’s the problem?” Ty didn’t get it. It wasn’t like this had been Ollie’s dream job. It kept him away from Theo all the time. The air-conditioning in the truck broke regularly. The pay sucked. The hours were terrible. It wasn’t like Ollie needed the money.

“Aside from my parents being right about me?”

Whoa, whoa—what? Didn’t Ollie just make up with his parents? Or at least his mom? Ty took a quick swig and put the bottle down. “Ollie—”

Ollie put both hands over his face and dry-washed it again. “What am I even doing if I can’t raise my kid and hold down a job? With all the help I’m getting?”

Ty’s mouth went dry. Ollie didn’t really think like that, did he? “I think you’re being kind of hard on yourself. Didn’t you mention the other day this company was having trouble retaining their employees?”

“Yeah, because people quit .” There were bags under his eyes that hadn’t been there yesterday. “And they still fired me, so what does that say?”

“Well, for one thing, they’ve got their priorities backwards. Not to mention they lied to you when they hired you.”

Ty was getting frustrated, and the words came out sharper than he intended. But they finally seemed to get through, because Ollie dropped some of the attitude and groaned.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. I just—I thought I finally had everything sorted out, things were going my way, you know? Sure, I didn’t love my job, but Theo was doing well. I had you. And now….”

“Hey, I get it.”

Ollie shot him a look.

“Okay, I don’t get it. Not exactly.” Ty’s dad not wanting him after his mom died wasn’t the same as being rejected for prioritizing your kid. Ty kind of thought his situation was worse, but Ollie wasn’t exactly in the mood to be reasoned with right now. “But it isn’t the end of the world. There are other jobs. You can take some time to figure out what you want, you know? Go back to school if you want to. That was the whole point of going into the Army in the first place, right?”

“And do what?” He shook his head. “I’m thirtywhatever years old. I don’t want to start over. But I don’t—”

I don’t want to shoot anyone.

Ty didn’t know how he knew, but he knew. “—and I can’t be a pilot and be there for my kid.”

“So why not take some time off? It’s not like I’m going to kick you out of the house.” Actually, wouldn’t that be kind of amazing? “You could spend all the time you want with Theo. And you wouldn’t have to take time off to come see me in Chicago. I can show you around. We can take Theo to see the Nats when they’re in town—”

“Ty. I’m not just going to, what, sit around all summer on my ass.”

“Why not?”

Ollie was getting red in the face now. “Because I’m—I can’t. I need a job. I’m not going to be a—a—”

“Stay-at-home parent?” Ty suggested.

“A freeloader.”

“What the fuck.” Ty gestured around them. “Hello. When’s the last time I cut the grass? Never. When’s the last time I did all the dishes? I don’t remember. Let’s not even talk about folding laundry, okay, because I never remember to do that and somehow it all gets put away.”

“I need to make money, Ty.”

“Literally why?” Ty was on the verge of pulling his hair out. “You could stay home and make macaroni art for the rest of your life, and unless you developed a taste for gold-plated pasta, we’d be fine.”

He knew as soon as the words came out that it was the wrong thing to say. First, he’d gone and revealed far more than he intended. They’d been dating for less than an entire weekend, and here was Ty casually dropping a just let me support you for the rest of your life . That was desperate even for him.

And second, it sounded like he thought macaroni art was all Ollie would be good for .

Ollie knocked back the rest of his beer, slammed it on the breakfast bar, and stood up. “I am not going to be a freeloader just so you can—move us all to Chicago or whatever. Theo is my kid. He’s mine to take care of.”

Ty reeled back, stung. “Maybe you should fucking do that, then,” he snarled. He put his half-empty beer in the sink. The last thing he needed right now was alcohol. He was going to go—somewhere. His room. Ollie wouldn’t bother him there. “Your mom sends her love, by the way,” he added, because if Ollie wanted to be a petty bitch, then Ty would match his energy.

Then, seething, he stormed out of the kitchen.

It wasn’t until his bedroom door closed behind him that he let himself wonder if he’d just fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him.

OLLIE KNEW he was being an asshole. He knew exactly where the conversation was going to end up when Ty walked in the door, and he steered toward the cliff and put his foot on the gas like he was in a demented version of Thelma and Louise .

All day he’d been itching for a fight. Well, now he’d had one, and he didn’t feel any better.

He dumped the rest of Ty’s beer and rinsed out both bottles, then took them outside to the recycling bin.

The recycling bin that was full of the little yogurt cups Theo liked, because Ty always bought those ones even though they were more expensive than the other kind, and Ty’s smoothie bottles, and the folded-up boxes from Ollie’s granola.

In case Ollie didn’t already feel like a dick, here was a visual representation of what could have been his family in the trash.

Was there anything in his life he hadn’t fucked up? Because of his choices, his parents might be getting divorced. He’d lost his job. If he’d managed to push Ty away from him for good, Theo would never forgive him. As a bonus, they’d probably have to move—not because Ty would kick them out, but because staying would be so awkward Ollie would never be able to sleep again.

If he were any kind of decent person, he’d apologize right now and do his best to fix the things he broke. But he wasn’t the only one who needed to make amends. Ty’s macaroni art comment was going to sting for a while .

That had hit a little too close to home.

If the only way Ollie left his mark on this world was through his kid, would that be enough? It should be enough. He could never tell Theo otherwise. But he didn’t think it was wrong to want more either.

Did that make him a bad person?

No, that wasn’t what made him a bad person. The way he’d reacted to a kind, sincere, generous offer, no matter how poorly worded… that made him an asshole.

Ollie had made peace with being queer. It had strained his relationship with his parents, but he could live with that. He accepted his PTSD and the past he couldn’t change as part of himself, and he’d had plenty of time in therapy while Theo was recovering from cancer to sort out his shit. He might never be done , and it might never be easy, but he could live with that too.

And the whole time he’d been in therapy, the whole time he’d been focused on being there for Theo until he was better, he didn’t work and he didn’t worry about it. He stayed in Allison’s apartment, set aside Theo’s Social Security checks, and focused on getting himself into mental shape to be a full-time parent.

He had a security net. He had a nice place to live. It had been weeks since anyone insinuated he couldn’t take care of his kid, unless he counted himself in his argument with Ty just now.

He’d called himself a freeloader. But the term he really wanted to use was kept man . He felt emasculated. And that made him feel sick to his stomach, because he knew better . Having a job was not manly . Having this particular job had been a lot of things—tedious, ridiculous—but manly had not been one of them.

He didn’t feel emasculated because he didn’t have a job. He felt that way because another man had offered to support him. And that was… not great.

Fuck, Ollie had a headache. He should eat something and figure out when Theo would be home— if Theo would be home.

Which would mean talking to either his mother, his sister, or Ty.

He’d resigned himself to picking up his phone and braving a conversation with his mom—she didn’t have to know he and Ty had a fight—when there was a crash of breaking glass from somewhere in the house.

Ollie forgot all about his phone as the adrenaline hit his system. “Ty! ”

He bolted toward the bedrooms in time to see Ty emerge, looking as startled as Ollie felt. His eyes were wide and his skin blotchy and red.

“That wasn’t you?” Ty asked.

Another tinkling noise, this one quieter.

“Office,” Ollie barked. Without thinking about it, he grabbed the baseball bat Theo had left leaning against the wall in the living room.

Truly, he wasn’t thinking about it. If he had, he’d have realized that he wasn’t exactly wearing Kevlar. He had a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and a kid-size baseball bat against whatever the fuck was happening in the office.

But when he pushed open the door, it turned out not to matter. A figure dressed all in black was already legging it over the porch and out to the orchard. Shattered glass from the window littered the floor and desk.

Behind Ollie, Ty stepped into the room.

“What the fuck,” Ollie said, bewildered. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” Ty stepped into the room. “You?”

“I was in the kitchen.” Thank God Theo wasn’t home.

“Uh. What do we do? I mean….” He gestured at the window. “We can’t leave it like that, right? Except I guess we have to call the police?”

Ollie managed not to snort out loud. “The police who hate you?”

For a few moments no one spoke. Eventually Ty said, “I probably have to tell them, at least, right? Make a report? I’ll have to let the insurance company know….”

And here Ollie’d thought the day couldn’t get any worse. “Did your dad keep valuables in here or something?”

“How would I know?” Ty rubbed a hand over his face. “I only came in here long enough to grab the TV.”

Because he hated his father, and the feeling was apparently mutual. As the shock wore off, Ollie’s practical nature kicked back in. Whatever had happened earlier—whatever happened later —right now they had things to do. “You call the police,” he said. “I’ll heat up dinner.”