Homecoming for Beginners

Chapter 18

AS OLLIE had predicted, the police didn’t exactly inspire confidence that they were even going to pretend to investigate.

“Probably just some kids playing a prank,” Jake suggested. And this was the cop who actually liked Ty. “They ran off when they realized you were home.”

That or they were driving home a point that Ty wasn’t welcome here, and breaking the window was the exclamation mark on the whole thing. “I’m guessing you’re not going to dust for prints.”

“Did they actually take anything?”

Honestly, Ty had no idea. He doubted it. Whoever had broken in wouldn’t have had much time between breaking the window and Ollie opening the door. “I’m not even sure they actually came inside.”

Jake winced. “That makes it vandalism, not breaking and entering. I can’t waste resources on that. Sorry.”

“Not like I expected different.”

Ty knew better by now.

“But look,” Jake went on, “I’m off in an hour. I could come back, help you clean up?”

Ty looked at him. He was earnest. One might even say hopeful.

Yeah, of course, why not. Ty just had a fight with Ollie, so the universe was allowing him one more person in town who didn’t hate his guts and wanted to bang him. Somehow he managed to smile politely. “Uh, thanks, but I think we got it.”

He really should have finished that beer.

Ollie had driven off in Ty’s truck when Jake had arrived. Ty didn’t know what to think of it and didn’t have any spare brain cells to speculate. Now, as Jake left, Ollie returned. He pulled the truck around to the backyard and pulled something out of the bed.

Ty slid on a pair of flip-flops and went out to join him .

It was a piece of three-quarter-inch plywood, already cut down to size to fit the window. Ollie must’ve taken measurements while Ty was talking to Jake in the kitchen.

Ollie leaned the wood against the side of the house and wiped his palms on his jeans. “You have a hammer in the garage or something, yeah?”

Oh good, so they were going to continue to ignore the elephant in the room. “Yeah.” He hoped Ollie bought nails.

They spent the last of the daylight boarding up the window. Ollie pulled a pair of work gloves from somewhere, which Ty thought was unfair. If he was going to look that sexy, they should make up first. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen that way. They worked mostly in silence apart from the necessary phrases. Ty didn’t even get to make a joke about getting nailed.

But it wasn’t awful . He was still pissed, and he thought Ollie was too, but the raw edges had scabbed over. By the time they finished, Ty was sore from standing on tiptoe to hold the boards in place and drained from the rest of the day, but he didn’t feel like he had to run back to his bedroom to hide.

Could they get away with postponing the dissection of whatever had happened earlier?

“Listen,” he said when they had put the tools back in the garage and Ollie, blessedly, had taken off the gloves, “I’m tired and sore and everything sucks, and I’m going to sit in the hot tub with a beer.” Ollie had bought the beer, but fuck it, it was Ty’s fridge. “You’re welcome to join me.”

Ollie looked at him like he’d grown a second head. After a moment he said, “I-I need some time. I’m not ready to talk about tonight.”

As if. “I would probably fall asleep in the middle of it anyway.”

Ollie waited a beat as if he were making sure Ty was serious. Then he shrugged. “Yeah, okay.”

Awkward or not, the hot water felt good. But Ty got half a beer in and stopped, conscious of the way the temperature made him metabolize alcohol. The last thing he needed was to get a little too loose and somehow end up in another fight. He still had to go to work tomorrow.

Somewhere overhead, an owl hooted.

“If that thing drops a headless rabbit in here,” Ty threatened .

He had his eyes closed, but he heard Ollie strangle a laugh.

Nothing was fixed. But maybe it wasn’t all the way broken either.

OLLIE TOOK Theo to school Tuesday morning.

Ty could’ve taken him—he had to go anyway—but if Ollie was going to be unemployed, he was at least going to be a more hands-on parent than he’d been the past two months.

Last night had been… bad. Ollie barely slept, and not only because the sound of shattering glass had apparently triggered his PTSD. The stupid owl was at it all night too, calling out at three in the damn morning until Ollie was fantasizing about taking a trip to Bass Pro Shop first thing and sitting up all tomorrow night in a fucking deer blind. The house was in the middle of nowhere. Ollie was a good shot. No one would hear it.

Probably firing a gun would not help his PTSD, but it might make him feel better in other ways.

Not sleeping much had consequences—namely, a lot of time to sit and think about why he’d acted like an asshole. Ollie could stop sleeping, but he could not stop thinking, and that was a problem. Thinking did not help.

So he dropped Theo off at school, and then he went back to the house, which was huge and empty. No convenient owl presented itself.

Ollie decided that if his brain couldn’t make itself useful, at least his body could, and he got out a broom and a dustpan and set to work cleaning Ty’s father’s office.

He only meant to pick up the glass. He didn’t want any of it getting tracked into the rest of the house where someone might hurt themselves. He put on his work gloves to pick up the big pieces, and then he knocked the jagged edges out of the window and collected those too. He swept. He used a little dustpan to get the small pieces. He vacuumed.

And then it seemed like he couldn’t stop.

The office was the one room on the main floor Ty didn’t seem to have touched, apart from moving the TV. It still held all his dad’s files and stacks of items and hoards of whatever the man’s deteriorating mind thought was important at the time. It wasn’t Ollie’s business. He should probably stick to the task at hand and keep out of it.

But he couldn’t. Cleaning… it helped. The more he focused on the task, the less he thought about his problem with Ty, which was actually hi s problem with himself. With his mind concentrating on something else, his subconscious was free to beat itself against the wall until enlightenment dawned on him.

And a small part of him that he was studiously ignoring pointed out that if Ollie went through this room, if Ollie read the stupid documents and put them in piles and decided what might be important, Ty wouldn’t have to.

Whatever else Ollie had going on in his brain, he didn’t want Ty to have to face his father’s office. He couldn’t take back the shit he said last night, but he could spare Ty this additional pain.

Besides, it wasn’t like he had anything better to do.

When Ty and Theo got home, Ollie was still at it. Reams of paperwork covered all the surfaces in the room and had spilled out into the hallway.

The side door opened, and a breeze picked up the top few pages of one of Ollie’s piles. He reached out automatically with his left hand to keep it from creating more of a mess. “Close the door, please.”

“Uh…. Dad?”

The door closed. Ollie carefully collected the displaced papers and put them back where they belonged. “Hey, bud.”

“What are you doing?”

There was a careful silence behind him. Ollie could practically feel Ty weighing the same question.

Slowly, Ollie stood, dusting his hands on his pants. “I had the day off,” he told his kid. He couldn’t quite bring himself to look Ty in the eye yet. “So I thought I’d organize the office.”

The silence stretched a little longer. Finally Ty asked, “Into the hallway?”

Yeah, Ollie maybe deserved that. But when he glanced up, Ty didn’t seem angry, just bewildered.

Which was also fair. Now that Ollie had broken out of his fixation, he became aware of all kinds of muscle aches. His knees felt bruised. “Uh… well. I ran out of space.”

Ty picked his way through the various stacks and peered into the office. He said nothing. Ollie… kind of didn’t remember what it looked like in there right now. He was a little afraid to check.

After a few seconds, Ty backed out again, his expression carefully blank. “So you did. ”

The back of Ollie’s neck felt weirdly hot. “Your dad, uh, wasn’t the most… organized. Toward the end.” Duh, that was why Eliza had originally hired Ollie to help. “It was kind of a mess in there.”

“As opposed to how it is now.” Ty nodded. His eyes were wide.

“Hey,” Ollie protested weakly. “There’s a method to my madness.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Ty paused as though searching for words. “Can we, maybe—move some of your madness to the dining room table so we don’t trip over all this going to the bathroom in the middle of the night?”

They didn’t use the dining room for anything anyway. “Okay, yes. Good idea. Uh.”

Ty was still looking at him like he might do something weird, like tap-dance or explode. He raised his eyebrows fractionally.

Fuck it. Ollie reached toward him. “I’m stuck, okay? Give me a hand to get up.”

The three of them made quick work of moving the piles. If Ty was curious about what was in them, he didn’t let on, and the lack of interest spread to Theo, who barely looked at them. Ollie, meanwhile, had taken all day to go through them for a reason. He kept getting drawn into Ty’s father’s weird business empire, trying to track the different ventures, what exactly the man did for a living. Owned things, it seemed like. A little light venture capitalism. Silent business partnering.

Ollie felt like Alice falling down a rabbit hole.

“Dad, I got the new Percy Jackson at the school library today.”

Ollie raised his eyebrows. “There’s only three days of school left and they’re letting you take out books?”

“Mrs. Aster made an exception.” Theo gave him big, pleading puppy-dog eyes. “Can I go read now? I want to finish before I have to give it back.”

“Yes, go.” Like Ollie was going to say no to his kid reading on purpose.

When he’d gone, Ollie raised his eyebrows at Ty.

“I maybe suggested I could make sure he brought it back before the summer,” Ty admitted.

Theo was going to stay up too late trying to finish the book. That or he’d be reading at recess, during lunch, and in the car on the way to school. Maybe all of the above .

Ollie would have to be kind of a dick to be mad about that. “Special treatment from the teachers.” He smiled vaguely, hoping he was still allowed to tease. “The other kids are gonna think he’s a brown-noser.”

Ty rolled his eyes. “He’s been going home with one of the teachers for six weeks. I think that ship has sailed.”

“Ah… yeah. True.” And there was that awkwardness again. All Ollie’s fault, and he still had only half understood what was wrong with him, but he knew he owed Ty an apology. “Listen… I’m still working through some things. But I want to apologize.”

Ty glanced back toward Theo’s room, as though to ensure he wasn’t eavesdropping. His face was drawn. “Look, it’s… fine. Just forget it.”

“It’s not fine .”

“No, I-I minimized your feelings. I didn’t listen. I—”

Like he wasn’t listening right now? “Ty.”

He shut his mouth with a click. His cheeks were red. He wouldn’t meet Ollie’s gaze. He was looking instead at the piles of paperwork on the dining room table—pieces of his estranged father’s life.

Everyone who’d lived with Ty in this house had left him—died or rejected him. Ollie never should have forgotten that.

No wonder Ty didn’t want to talk. He was probably afraid Ollie would leave him too, and take Theo with him.

Ollie was such an asshole. “I do need to apologize,” he said gently. “You have been more than generous—you have been so good to Theo and to me, and I threw it in your face—” His voice got stuck and he had to stop. After a deep, shaky breath he began again. “I would have been up a fucking creek without you. Just because I’m insecure about that doesn’t mean I get to take my problems out on you.”

Somehow his hand had found its way around Ty’s and was squeezing it, like that would help his meaning sink in.

He watched Ty swallow. Then his mouth worked soundlessly. From the sharp sound he made when he finally inhaled, he might have forgotten to breathe for a moment there. “You’re—insecure.”

Did Ollie stutter? Surely Ty hadn’t missed it.

He dropped Ty’s hand and opened his mouth.

“I mean you’re—” Ty made a flailing gesture to encompass Ollie head to toe. Ollie’s ears burned. “Like—high school star athlete to actual war hero? Town’s golden boy. Incredible dad. ”

Something in Ollie’s stomach curdled. “The first time someone died in front of me I couldn’t even look him in the eye.” Chavez had been twenty-three and terrified, bleeding out from shrapnel from an IED.

Ollie had tried to stop the bleeding. He just didn’t have enough hands to apply pressure everywhere. He’d focused on that and ignored Chavez’s labored gasps. For a moment he’d ignored Chavez slapping at Ollie’s side too, until he realized nothing he could do would save his friend and finally held his hand.

If he expected Ty to balk at this, he should’ve known better. His expression softened, but he didn’t flinch. “You would’ve been what? Eighteen?”

“Nineteen,” Ollie admitted.

Ty nodded. “The first time I lost a patient, I threw up in a planter on the Magnificent Mile. Do you think less of me?”

What Ollie thought was that he’d like to go back in time and give that version of Ty a hug. “It’s not the same thing. I let him die alone.”

“Everyone dies alone. You were a kid, Ollie. Probably scared out of your mind. Give yourself some grace for that.”

Could he do that? Maybe. But he couldn’t accept the title. “I’m not a war hero. I hate—I hate when people say that. I’m not proud of the things I did over there. Shooting people should never be heroic.” Acts of heroism shouldn’t give you nightmares for the rest of your life.

Ty tilted his head. “I mean, I’m assuming you got shot at too. But, uh, I get it. I won’t say that again.”

Some of the nervous tension Ollie had been holding in, a tightness in his stomach, eased, and he realized he’d been clenching his abs to the point of soreness. His mouth felt suddenly dry. “It’s hard to hear, sometimes.” Now the rest of it, Ollie. “Especially when it’s you who’s been pulling my ass out of the fire since I came back to town.”

That made him flush and step back. Because he could handle all the horrible truths about Ollie without flinching, but God forbid anyone should say a kind word about him . “Ollie. You and Theo saved me .”

Ollie blinked. No—Ty had given them a home, given Theo an adult he could rely on, someone to have Ollie’s back. Someone to be there when Theo went into anaphylaxis. Someone to save them from Ollie’s lackluster cooking or death by takeout cholesterol. Someone to wake Ollie up in the middle of the night if he had a PTSD nightmare. He swallowed. “Ty, come on. Of the two of us—”

“ You saved me first . This house?” Ty said. “I grew up here, and I haven’t felt welcome or at home in over a decade. I came back and drank myself into a stupor the first night and would’ve missed my own father’s funeral if you hadn’t shown up. You think I would’ve lasted five minutes in this town without you? You’re the only one here who even likes me.”

“I love you !”

Ollie didn’t mean to say it. He certainly didn’t mean to half shout it like they were having an argument. But he wasn’t going to take it back—not with Ty looking at him like that , eyes and mouth soft with shock. Usually he flushed a blotchy red, but this was an almost dainty pink.

Ollie had stunned him into silence.

“I love you,” he repeated urgently. “You are kind and hot and you help people, and half of this town wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire, and it fucking kills me. They should be falling over themselves to hand you the world on a silver platter. I feel like I’m insane.”

The flush crept higher on his cheeks, now a pale rose.

Ollie could not fucking shut up. “And I also feel like an asshole,” he went on, “because I hate that for you, but it means I get you all to myself.”

Ty pressed his lips together as though to hold in a sound. Ollie hoped it was a good one. He didn’t know what would run out first, Ty’s silence or his own words.

“And I hate that I still want more.”

That was it, apparently—his throat had swollen tight. Nothing more would come.

His hands were shaking.

“Ollie….”

Fuck. Ollie blinked. The tightness in his belly had returned. “Please say something.”

Ty’s hands covered his. The shaking did not abate, but Ollie felt more grounded. More sure. “You should want more.”

That—wasn’t what Ollie had expected. Was Ty going to let him down easy? He’d never thought—

“You deserve more ,” Ty said. But his voice held the same earnest urgency Ollie had felt, pouring his heart out, so maybe Ollie should just hold his breath and hold Ty’s hands and hold on. “I want you to have everything—a home and a family and a, a partner and—and something you do that’s just for you, because it’s satisfying. Because I love you. ”

The tension dissolved again. This time it almost took Ollie’s knees out with it. “Okay.” He felt lightheaded. “So just—so we’re clear. The partner is you?”

Ty’s laugh matched the flush on his cheeks. “Yeah, Ollie, the partner is me.”

“Okay,” Ollie repeated. His face hurt now, instead of his stomach; he was smiling too widely. He probably looked like an idiot. He sounded like one too. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry I, um, worded that badly the first time around.”

Ollie laughed too, and it sounded as insane as he felt. “I mean. I’m kind of glad you did. I was… not in a good place. What if my mood ruined a perfectly good love confession?”

“Oh, well.” Ty nodded. Ollie had moved his hands to Ty’s face. He didn’t remember doing it. It was like he was possessed and the demon in charge of his body just wanted to touch Ty everywhere. “In that case I’m so glad I fucked it up.”

Ollie kissed him. Objectively it was not a good kiss; they were both grinning like idiots. Subjectively, it was the best kiss of Ollie’s life. He felt like a helium balloon. He might float away at any moment, except Ty’s hands on his waist and his on Ty’s face kept him happily tethered.

He probably could’ve spent the remainder of the afternoon there, kissing his boyfriend—his partner —and forgetting the rest of the world existed, except a small voice came from the doorway to the dining room.

“Dad, do you know what this word means?”

Ollie blinked and the world returned to focus. Ty was definitely blotchy red now, his skin hot under Ollie’s hands. His grin had not disappeared, although it had taken on a definite tinge of embarrassment.

“Uh,” Ollie said as he turned around.

Theo handed him the book. “That one.” He pointed. “Mem…?”

“Membrane.” Ollie handed the book back. “It’s like a kind of skin.”

“Membrane,” Theo repeated. “Cool. Thanks, Dad.”

Ollie became aware, suddenly, that Ty still had his hands on his waist. That Ollie had only turned his torso to take the book from Theo and the rest of him was still oriented toward Ty like a flower toward the sun.

He was afraid to move more, now, in case he called attention to it. Was Theo going to say something? Or…?

He cleared his throat. “You’re welcome.”

“Hey, Dad?”

Not even two inches away, Ty’s stomach started jiggling. That fucker was laughing. He was holding it in, sure, but Ollie could fucking feel it . “Mm-hmmm?” Ollie asked, dying inside.

“Is Ty your boyfriend?”

Ollie licked his lips. Did he have beard burn? Did he have, like, drying spit on his face?

And did he have to answer this question? “Yeah, bud.” He paused. “Um, is that okay with you? This isn’t how I wanted to tell you.”

Although hey, at least they had all their clothes on.

Theo scrunched up his face. “Are you going to kiss in front of me all the time?”

Ty made a noise. Ollie stepped on his foot. “Um, maybe little ones. But not—not all the time. Sometimes we’ll just watch baseball together or eat dinner and stuff.”

Theo nodded like he was considering this very carefully. “Is Ty still moving to Chicago?”

Oh no. Ollie didn’t want to answer that one. He glanced up at Ty, pleading with his eyes.

Ty took half a step away from Ollie and turned toward Theo. “Kind of. I won’t be working the same way I work here, though. I usually work four days and then have four days off, so I can come visit when I’m not working.”

“Like when Dad was in the Army?”

“Exactly, except I’ll be home for a little bit of every week.”

Ollie thought that was kind of a lot to promise—Ty still had a life and friends in Chicago, and what if he got sick, or someone else did, and he had to cover a shift? But he wasn’t going to object.

“But we’re not going to move to Chicago,” Theo clarified. His lower lip stuck out a little, confirming Ollie’s suspicion that this was a statement and not a question.

“That’s right. We might go to visit, if Ty invites us.”

Ty said, “The Nats are playing the Cubs at the end of August.” He glanced at Ollie, shrugged helplessly, and blushed again. “I have three tickets behind home plate, if you know anyone who might want to come—oof. ”

Theo rammed him full speed and wrapped both arms around his waist. “Oh my God! Really? That’s so cool ! Dad, we can go, right? Since you got fired and stuff.”

Jesus. Ollie reached one hand out to the back of a chair to steady himself. This conversation was giving him emotional whiplash. Ty put a hand on his shoulder too, and he managed to breathe. “Where did you hear that?”

“At school. Jordan heard it from Megan, whose mom works with a lady at your company.” That face scrunch again. “I guess maybe it’s not your company now.” The scrunch became a crumple. “They said you got fired ’cause of me. Did you?”

Ah, fuck. Ollie glanced up long enough to meet Ty’s eyes, and he gave a slight nod and quietly left the room. Ollie pulled out a couple of chairs and gestured for Theo to sit next to him. “I did lose my job, yeah, but not because of you, okay? I only took that job because they promised me that they believed family should come first. It turned out they broke their promise. That’s why I got fired, not because of you.”

For a kid who’d had a lot thrown at him in the past five minutes, Theo was doing a remarkable job keeping an even keel. “Are we gonna be okay? Are we gonna have to move again?”

“We are going to be great,” Ollie promised. And then—well. Fuck. He might as well. “I might even take some time to decide what I want to do next. I don’t want you to worry about that, okay? I have savings from the Army, and your mom put aside money just for you.” Ollie wasn’t touching that—that was for Theo’s college, or for a down payment on a house one day—but if it helped ease his anxiety now, Theo should know it existed.

Theo leaned forward, all trace of concern gone. “So we can go to Chicago?”

Ollie’s mouth opened. Wow, he’d really walked into that one, huh? “Yeah,” he said helplessly, “we can go to Chicago.”

TY LEFT Ollie and Theo to their conversation and retreated to the kitchen to start dinner prep. Or at least that was his plan, but after two minutes, he hadn’t managed to do anything other than stand in front of the fridge with a stupid smile on his face .

If he wanted to keep his fingers, he had better leave the cutting board alone, so he retreated to the games room to process.

Ollie loved him.

Ty dropped down onto the couch and put a hand to his lips.

Ollie loved him, and Theo seemed to be okay with the two of them dating. Ty was pretty embarrassed they’d been caught making out like teenagers, but it could’ve been worse. And at least the important parts of the conversation had been over by then.

Ollie loved him.

He just couldn’t stop thinking it. Ty had had relationships before, lasting ones even, people he thought he could spend the rest of his life with. Now the idea seemed absurd. His previous vague daydreams of what his future might look like had seemed real and clear and tangible at the time, but compared to the vision he saw now? It was like comparing a television show broadcast on an old aerial antenna on a tube TV to an IMAX movie. Before, Ty could barely hear the dialogue over the static; now he could smell the popcorn.

And if he couldn’t tell exactly where the movie was set, that would come with time. Right? Everything was coming up Morris.

Well, no. Not everything. Ty was still going to have to show up in front of Alan Chiu and defend himself for trying and failing to save someone’s life. The whole idea of it soured his stomach. It was one thing to suspect your whole town hated you and another to face the prospect of knowing it for sure.

Well—no again. Not the whole town.

Ollie loved him.

A knock at the door made him look up with a smile. “I’m not exactly looking for privacy.”

“Didn’t want to startle you. You looked lost in thought.”

Ty moved over on the couch so Ollie had room to sit next to him. “I may have been building castles in the sky.” Which reminded him. “Hey, if you get a regular pilot’s license, we can get you a plane and you can come pick me up from Chicago.”

Ollie gave him a wry look. “You are not buying me a plane.”

“Well, I’m definitely not buying you a helicopter. Those things are death traps.” Could a helicopter even fly from Connecticut to Chicago, or would it have to stop to refuel?

“Do you promise? ”

Ty would not promise. He didn’t know what a helicopter cost. Maybe someday they’d engineer one that didn’t make him fear for Ollie’s life. He decided to change the subject. “Everything good with Theo?”

“Yeah. I think, uh, probably some of the gossip around town tipped him off. And it’s not like much is going to change for him.”

True. Ty cleared his throat. “Well, that’s—good. I actually meant about the job thing, though. Not us.”

“Ah.” Ollie wiped a palm over the back of his neck. “Well, as someone recently pointed out to me, I have the time and financial security to figure out what I want to do with my life, so now that I’m done freaking out about that… I told my kid it’s what I’m going to do. Call it accountability.”

Ty grinned, his chest swelling with pride. Look at Ollie finally doing something for himself . “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He paused. “Although my more immediate future is probably focused on fixing the office. Um. Sorry.”

Oh, as if Ty cared. He waved this off. “It was already a disaster. My mess is your mess.”

Wow, that sounded kind of romantic. What was a home—a family—if not a shared mess?

Ollie kissed him again, this time soft and sweet. “Thank you.”