Homesick

Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

“Y ou did what?” Emma says as she hangs out at the bar while I finish my shift.

“Nothing happened or anything. We were just two half-naked adults, swimming together. Completely PG.”

“Yeah, okay. You basically stripped in front of each other. It doesn’t get any more intimate than that, Wren.”

I take Emma’s empty glass and set it in the tiny sink behind the bar. I just gave her a small recap of what happened in the pond a few days earlier. Since then, I haven’t seen Blake and that was on purpose. Every time I was around him, I ended up doing or saying something that I’d regretted. It was an impossible cycle and the best way to avoid it was to remove myself from the equation completely.

“In hindsight, it probably wasn’t a good idea. I just got too caught up in reminiscing about how things used to be.”

“That’s understandable. What’s your next move?”

That was a great question. I had thought long and hard about how to navigate the situation that is Blake Fisher. I knew I would have to see him again. I just had to make sure I was never alone with him for too long. That’s when I would make an ass of myself and when my thoughts would drift to places I really didn’t want to revisit.

“I’m just going to make sure we’re never alone together. I could’ve completely avoided the pond situation, but I chose to follow him like we were kids again. I just need to make sure there’s always a buffer.”

Emma gives me a knowing look and I brush it off.

“What?” I question even though I know the answer.

“Nothing. It just seems like you’re subconsciously drifting toward him. It sounds like a recipe for disaster.”

“I know,” I respond, deep in thought. “I think there’s some underlying attraction that’s still there. If anything more were to happen between us, I would just get sucked into the past again. I’m not going back to the same place I was at when I was eighteen,” I say confidently.

“Okay, good. Well maybe you need a distraction then?”

“A distraction?”

“Yeah! Just someone you can take all your pent-up sexual tension out on. I mean how long has it been since you did the deed?”

I smile at Emma’s inability to say a simple three letter word, but my smile is soon replaced by a frown. How long had it been? I had been so anxious about my move home that I really hadn’t considered those needs in a while. I had a solid roster in the city, but here, the pool was much smaller.

“I don’t know. Maybe three months?”

“There you go! The reason why you’re getting so flustered around Blake is because you haven’t gotten some in so long. Maybe once you set your sights on something new, you’ll stop fixating on your attraction toward your ex.”

I guess her point was valid, but there were times when I had gone longer without sex or male validation. I did however miss that sense of connection. I was slowly starting to warm up to my friends and family and those connections were great, but there was something missing from that feeling of home that I craved.

I didn’t have any serious relationships back in Cleveland, but I participated in a casual hook-up here and there. Especially when I first moved there.

I missed the rush of that first interaction and getting to know someone new. That weird tingly feeling you felt when your hands slightly brush against one another. The feeling of simply being wanted by someone who wasn’t obligated to want you. I missed all of that.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get out there a little.”

“Let me see your phone,” Emma demands.

“Umm why?”

“Just trust me, okay?”

I agree and slide my phone across the bar. It was late afternoon on a Wednesday and the bar was empty. It had been a few days since Sheila entrusted me with the Rustic Inn’s social media pages. I was still getting the hang of the voice I wanted to use for their pages, but so far, I had started posting regularly on Facebook and expanded to an Instagram page.

The Instagram page has slowly begun to amass followers, which was surprising. Both pages still had a long way to go, but I could see my small efforts taking shape. It was dead tonight, but once Thursday night rolled around, there wouldn’t be an empty seat in the place.

I try to peek over Emma’s shoulder as she messes around on my phone, but every time I try to look at the screen, she swerves like a ninja to avoid my gaze. “Emma, what are you doing?”

“Okay, perfect,” she says before sliding the phone back to me. I pick up the phone and I’m met with a decent looking man who is almost thirty and a single dad. He’d be a great match for Emma, but not me , I think surveying the man’s dating profile.

“I’m not using a dating app,” I frown as I put the phone back down on the counter. “I don’t use dating apps when I’m home because it’s like one big smorgasbord of old classmates, teachers, and even family sometimes.”

A shiver grazes my spine when I think back to the one time I saw my mom’s second Cousin Jerry on the app. That was the time I decided to change my settings to include more ages, which I’ll never do again thanks to Jerry. Cousin Jerry really needs to invest in a bigger bathing suit . . . that covers more.

“Oh, come on! At least let me swipe a little. I love this kind of stuff!”

I shoot her a confused look, but she quickly corrects herself. “Not like that. I mean it’s nice to look for other people. I love being a mom and wife, but sometimes it’s nice to live vicariously through others.”

“Fine. But don’t get too swipe happy, okay?”

It’s harmless , I tell myself while stepping away to do some last-minute cleaning before my shift is over. As I’m putting away some clean glasses, I hear Emma yell, “ oh shit! ” I panic and immediately run to the bar where she’s staring down at my phone absolutely petrified. I pick it up and see a notification flash across my screen saying you’ve matched with Blake!

I slowly set the device down on the counter and take a deep breath. I try to remind myself that Emma is my best friend, and she probably didn’t mean to ruin my life with one swipe.

“Emma, please explain why you just matched with my ex-boyfriend after I just gave a whole speech about avoiding him.”

Her lips start to curl into a nervous smile, and she laughs awkwardly before replying. “It was an accident! I was trying to snoop on his profile and BAM ! Here I’ll unmatch it really quick.”

I throw my face into my hands and let out a muffled scream of pure frustration. “This is great. Just great.”

“Relax, I undid it. I can promise you that I’m the last person that wants you two back together. It’s completely fine.”

I look up from my disheveled state and stare at her relaxed state. A few seconds go by and a thought pops in my head. “Wait, you said we matched. That means he swiped right on me first, correct?”

Emma’s face turns at the same realization, and I swear all the color drains from her face. “Oh . . . well. Umm . . . I’m sure that doesn’t mean anything. He was probably just messing with you.”

Huh, I hadn’t thought of that . Before I can even dissect what that means, I practically jump out of my skin when my phone starts buzzing. I’m picturing Blake’s contact popping up on my screen, but I’m relieved when I see it’s my mom.

“Hey Mom, what’s up?”

“Hey, hun. I’m sorry to bother you while you’re at work, but your brother had an accident on the farm today.”

Before she can continue her sentence, I begin picturing everything that could go wrong on the farm and my breathing starts to become uneven. I feel my heartbeat begin to speed up and I have to find something in the room to focus on before I lose control. I turn to Emma and use her as my focal point. “Wha-what happened?”

“Before you panic, he’s fine. Well, he’s going to be fine. He was chasing after a loose cow and stepped in a gopher hole. He fractured his fibula, and the doctor says he’s going to need to be off his feet for around six weeks. He’s not taking it very well, but at least he doesn’t need surgery.”

“Mom, you know how bad my anxiety is. Can you try to lead with ‘he’s fine’ next time?”

“Yeah, you’re right. This call went much better than the one with Ashley. I thought she was going to faint through the phone. Anyway, can you stop over there on the way home? Maybe bring him some pie or something to cheer him up?”

“Yeah sure, Mom. I’ve got to go, but I love you and I’ll talk to you later.”

I hang up the phone and quickly catch Emma up on that roller coaster of a phone call. By the time I clock out and head to my car, I’ve forgotten all about the dating app fiasco.

* * *

“One slice of apple pie for yours truly,” I announce while placing the dessert in front of my helpless older brother.

I walked into his living room to find a seemingly broken man draped over the couch. I was half expecting him to be doped up on pain meds, but it looks like he’s embracing the full extent of his new injury.

I plop down on the recliner next to him and examine his stony expression. My brother is no stranger to freak accidents. He was in and out of the emergency room as a kid and had broken just about every bone in his body. I used to admire his ability to look fear in the face until it ended with him in a cast for months at a time. I did, however, envy when he got to be the kid with crutches that got special treatment in school. Part of me wanted to break a bone just so I had a cast for everyone to sign.

I sigh as I look at Chris’s newest addition to his collection. The boot adorning his right leg is propped up in the air like a shiny new trophy, but he doesn’t seem excited about his newest win. I can guess why.

“I’m assuming you won’t be able to do much at the farm for the next few weeks,” I say, trying to divert his attention from the ceiling.

He lets out a big huff and sits up so he can see me. I jump up to help him, but he gives me a dirty look until my butt is planted in the chair again. After several grunts, he props his boot up on the coffee table next to the sad piece of pie I brought to cheer him up.

“Yeah, I’m going to be out for at least six weeks.”

Chris is cut off when we both hear a car door being slammed shut. Before I even peek out the window, I already know who it is.

After a few minutes and several dirty looks shot at my brother, Blake comes inside and sits on the other side of Chris. It reminds me of the summer Chris broke his leg and my mom made him stay inside even when he desperately wanted to be outside.

Blake and I felt bad for him, so we decided to spend the first few days of his sentencing on the couch watching all the Fast and the Furious movies. Back when we could keep up with all the new ones. That was the summer before Blake started to look at me as more than just a friend.

“I’m glad you’re both here,” Chris says like he’s kicking off some big meeting. “I’m obviously going to be out of commission for the next few weeks so I’m going to need help keeping up with the farm. We have a few farm hands, but I can’t have Dad picking up any extra slack. He’s not as spry as he used to be, or as he thinks he still is. I wanted to see if both of you would pitch in and pick up some chores.”

So much for steering clear of Blake .

“Of course, Chris. Anything you need,” I say to my big brother. I know he’s injured, but I would love to hit him at this very moment.

“Yeah, sure, dude. I can help out as much as possible,” Blake replies. He’s always been a good friend, even when he decided to date his best friend’s little sister. I knew our relationship in high school caused a big rift between them, but when you’re a teenager you don’t exactly think with your head.

After discussing some of the chores that needed to be done daily and throughout the week, Chris left it to Blake and me to figure out a schedule. Soon enough, Blake and I leave Chris to get some rest and head out the door. I casually walk out to my car and turn to Blake just as he’s doing the same. He goes to talk first, but I cut him off. “I don’t need your help. I can handle the chores on my own.”

“You know I’m not going to let you do that. I made a promise to your brother, and I intend to keep it.”

I take a deep breath to show how frustrated I am with his response. “Fine, I’ll just say it then. I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to work together.”

I cross my arms and lean back against my car. It takes him a minute to respond, but I can tell I’m not getting my way. I used to be able to get this man to do whatever I wanted, but then again, that’s when I was giving out road head like it was candy.

“No offense, Wren, but you can’t do everything by yourself. You can’t even drive the tractor for God’s sake,” he says. Stopping himself for a moment, he takes a beat and stares at the ground as he reassesses his response. “I’m not trying to be an ass, I know you think you can do everything by yourself, but you don’t have to.”

Being the stubborn person I am, I completely ignore his last sentence. “Oh, I can and will drive the damn tractor. You get into one little accident .” I say the last part under my breath, but I think he still heard it.

My answer seems to fire him up again because he quickly responds, “listen Wren, Chris asked me to help with chores and that’s what I’m going to do. There isn’t anything you can do about it.”

“Wanna bet?” I say defiantly and stomp my right foot for good measure. I hated when he underestimated me. Hell, I hate when any man underestimates me. “I’ll have everything done by the time you show up tomorrow,” I declare and turn to leave.

Before I can get in my car, I hear Blake get in the last word. “You’re a pain in the ass, Campbell.”

I let myself smile at his comment, but only when I’m kicking up dust down the dirt road and far away from his greedy eyes.