Homesick

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

I wave at Blake from across the dirt path and head over to him. Our conversation yesterday made me feel light as a feather.

Tonight, I’m hanging out with Adam, and I’m nervous. I can’t remember the last time I went on an actual date. Most of my “dates” in the city consisted of group hangouts or getting drinks followed by a quick hook-up.

This seems more intimate, which scares the hell out of me. Not to mention, I’m dreading telling Blake I have to leave early. I need him to finish up the last bit of my chores so I can get ready. I know I don’t need to tell him what I’m doing, but I’m sure my dumbass will blurt it out.

“Hey!”

“You look like you want something,” he states as I get closer.

“I’m doing great! Thank you so much for asking,” I respond with crossed arms and a hint of sass. “But yes, I do have a favor to ask.”

Blake drops the tool he was using and grabs a rag to wipe off the grease on his hands. My mouth waters at the idea of him wiping his hands off after doing something else. Get it together , I say, scolding myself for getting off track with weird, dirty thoughts.

“Well, ask away, Campbell.”

I roll my eyes at his use of my last name. At least he doesn’t call me Little Campbell anymore. Blake and my brother used to terrorize me with that nickname and for some reason, it really got to me most of the time. I remember one or two occasions where tears were shed.

“I have to leave early tonight. Would you be able to finish up in the main barn before you leave? They need to be fed right at seven-thirty and I need to start getting ready by then.

He narrows his eyes as he examines my body language. I quickly straighten my posture and try to act normal. His eyes travel up and down my body and I can feel my skin heat up under his stare. This is almost as bad as the eye-fuck he gave me at the pond. I prepare myself for the next question he’ll most certainly ask.

“Yeah, that’s fine, but on one condition. You have to tell me what you’re up to. You look like you’ve got a secret.”

So, the acting cool part did not work. Good to know.

I decide to lay all my cards out on the table and answer truthfully. “Umm . . . I guess I have a date tonight.”

For one of the first times this summer, he looks like the one caught off guard. It’s very brief, but I see the look of disbelief on his face. I’m not sure whether to be offended or happy that he’s shocked I have a date. I decide to go with the latter.

Blake quickly regains his composure and replies, “with who?” I must look annoyed with his question because he quickly follows up with, “you don’t have to tell me. I’m just curious.”

I decide I don’t have anything to hide and tell him straight out. “His name is Adam Davis.”

“The guy you drunkenly danced with at the bar that one night? I didn’t know the two of you had been hanging out.”

My eyes snap to his and I’m quickly thrown by the fact that he’s able to remember that, but I wasn’t. But then again, I was very drunk, and he was not. I do, however, decide to award myself an imaginary point because my goal of that dance was to get Blake to notice and it seemed to have worked.

“Well, funny story. I didn’t remember him, but then he came into work a few days ago and we hit it off.”

Blake is quiet as he scratches his jaw. I try to think about what to say next to relieve some of the tension that’s currently floating around us. Before this moment, I felt like he couldn’t care less about my dating life.

Sure, he was flirty, but he’d been like that his entire life. I had to stop my mind from reeling as I began getting irritated that he was acting this way. My hand begins to curl into a fist and I press my nails into the skin of my palm. He was the one that broke things off with me. He didn’t get to get upset when I tried to move on.

“This has been fun, but I should probably get back to it. Thank you for helping.”

I turn and head to the calf barn before Blake can have a chance to react. I promised I wouldn’t run away from him anymore, but I would argue this was the perfect time to remove myself from the conversation.

I walk into the calf barn and all the babies run to the feeding troughs. Mocha is hanging out in his corner, which is normal, but something feels off. When I noticed his nose was dry yesterday, I decided to put some electrolytes in his water, but it didn’t seem to help. I walk over and crouch down to give him a quick once over. His eyes look a little dull and he doesn’t seem as attentive as he usually is.

My palms start to sweat as soon as I think of all the things that could be wrong. Growing up on a farm, I was trained not to get attached to these animals, but I had done exactly that. Also, I had been taking care of the calf barn these past few weeks and if anything happens to him, it’s my fault. I run my hand through my hair and head outside to track Blake down. I quickly forget how awkward we left things just minutes ago.

I run out to where Blake was working, but he’s nowhere in sight. I can feel my temperature rise the more panicked I get. My legs feel weak from all the extra energy my body is exerting.

I search every barn, but he’s nowhere to be found. Soon I give up and decide to call his phone. My thumb hovers over the call button, but I ignore any hesitation.

I hear buzzing above me and I automatically look up at the hay loft. I was so panicked I completely missed that the ladder to the loft is currently unlatched. I climb the old metal object and pop my head into the loft to see Blake sitting by himself on one of the hay bales sitting off to the side. Any other time, I would question why he was up here, but there are bigger issues at hand.

Blake turns his body toward me and I ignore the look of hope I see in his eyes. “I was just about to answer your call. Is everything okay?”

I rapidly explain everything happening with my new four-legged friend. He instantly notices my mood and shifts into vet mode. He doesn’t even laugh when I refer to the calf as Mocha. If Chris were here, he’d roll his eyes and tell me it was just a cow, but not Blake. I can see the way he hangs on to every word, like he genuinely cares how upset I am.

Minutes later, he’s in the calf barn with his vet kit that he keeps in his truck. This is only the second time I’ve seen him work with the animals on the farm, but I notice the care he takes in each touch. I feel my entire body start to calm down the second I see Mocha is in good hands.

After finishing his examination, I notice a calmness in his body language, and I pray that’s a good sign. His eyes meet mine and he greets me with a gentle smile. “He’s going to be alright, Wren. The poor guy has a mild case of scours.”

My sense of relief is short-lived when I remember calves get scours from poor nutrition. My face drops and I look at anything else in the room so I don’t have to look Blake in the eyes. It was my job to take care of Mocha and now he’s sick because of me.

Blake senses my change in mood and begins to walk over to comfort me but stops himself just within arm’s reach. “Listen, don’t blame yourself. He’s the runt in this herd so I’m sure he’s having trouble getting food and water with the other calves in this pen. Maybe we can move him until he gets his strength up again.”

I know his reasoning makes perfect sense, but the weight of my mistake is suffocating. For the past few weeks, I felt like I was getting the hang of things around here and this is a blunt reminder that I was wrong.

It was one of those things where I knew in my heart it was silly to get upset over this, but my mind kept reverting to the deep-seated doubt I still felt from losing my job a few months ago.

“I do want to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t get any worse.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can watch him.”

“Don’t you have your date tonight?”

I had completely forgotten that I had to leave for my date with Adam in about twenty minutes. I really hated to cancel, but the farm was more important. Mocha was more important.

“You’re not cancelling your date. I don’t have any plans tonight, so I’ll hang out with Mocha until you get back. He’s in good hands,” he says with a smile.

I feel a slight sting when Blake tries to push me to go on my date. Earlier, it felt like he might be jealous but now he’s practically begging me to go.

My head spins trying to figure out the double meaning behind his gesture, but before I know it, I’m dressed and ready for my date. I head out to the barn to check on Mocha one last time before I leave to meet Adam.

When I enter the barn, I see Blake is making up a spot to hang out while he watches the calf. Part of me wants to think he’s doing this for me, but another part realizes he’s here because of my brother. Regardless, I feel a fluttering in my stomach and my heart pounding like no other.

As I make my way over to his set-up, I spot a thick textbook on his blanket, and I smile to myself. “I thought you hated reading,” I question before turning to face him. As soon as I turn, he doesn’t even try to hide his wandering stare.

I didn’t have as much time as I would’ve liked to get ready, but I’m satisfied with what I was able to accomplish. I had just enough time to put some gentle waves in my hair and some light make-up. Trying to pick out a decent outfit took up the rest of the time and is also responsible for the clothing tornado that looks like it tore through my room.

After much deliberation, I settled on some light blue jeans, a white flowy top, and some brown sandals with a slight heel. It’s simple, but I always choose comfort over fashion.

My outfit felt simple before I saw Blake. I feel a warm sensation in my chest when his eyes move from the ground up. He was always great at making me feel pretty, even when he didn’t say it.

After his assessment, his eyes land on mine and I swear I see a slight glimmer. Panicking at the moment taking place between us, I clear my throat and dismiss any questionable tension in the air. “Are you sure you’re okay watching him? I can still cancel my date.”

“Campbell, you look too damn good to waste it on a dusty old barn. Go out, have fun, and I’ll text you if anything happens.”

I shoot him a smile to express my gratitude before carefully making it over to Mocha curled up on a pile of hay. I hunch over and give him a couple of pats on the head before saying, “I’ll be back soon buddy. Please get better for me. Don’t tell the other calves, but you’re my favorite.”

* * *

I meet Adam at a bar a few miles outside of town. As soon as I walk into the small brick building, I feel bad calling the Rustic Inn a dive bar. This place had it beat, hands down.

Before I can fret about my sandals sticking to some unknown residue on the floor, I see Adam at the bar waving at me. I smile back and clutch my purse when I pass a triage of tattooed wannabe bikers playing pool.

When I finally shimmy up on to the bar stool, Adam slides me a beer. I scrunch my nose up at the yellow liquid sitting in the glass mug, but I suck it up and take an innocent sip.

“This is one of my favorite beers here,” Adam declares like we’re at some sort of brewery. As soon as the bitter taste hits my tongue, I’m almost certain it’s some bottom shelf bullshit that all the rednecks in the area drink.

“Thank you. I needed a drink after today,” I sigh into my glass.

“What happened?” he questions before sliding his free hand to the back of my stool.

“One of our calves got sick under my watch,” I confess and sit up in my seat when I feel Adam’s fingertips getting too close for comfort. “It just sucks because my brother is trusting me to take care of things while he’s gone.”

“I didn’t know cows could get sick,” he says before taking a swig of his beer.

To keep my eyes from rolling to the back of my head, I take another sip of the golden liquid in front of me. “Yeah, they do,” I reply with a nervous laugh.

“Well, I can help you get your mind off it,” Adam says before sliding his hand from the back of my seat to my lower back.

I know I’m technically on a date, but something about Adam’s touch feels off. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that he ordered my drink for me or the way he completely disregarded me being upset about the farm, but I’m two seconds away from faking an emergency.

The only thing keeping me from enacting my escape plan is the man currently babysitting my favorite calf. It should make me want to be home more than ever but seeing him snuggle up to Mocha will just make our work acquaintance agreement harder.

“So, what do you do for work?” I ask before awkwardly adjusting my body so he’ll move his hand. He doesn’t get the hint.

“I work at my uncle’s landscaping company. It’s kind of boring, but I get to run my own crew so that’s nice,” Adam replies before tipping the cold beer to his lips.

“Nice. Do you do mainly residential?” I say, pulling my questions out of thin air.

“Yeah, mostly,” he answers quickly. “You know what, this is kind of lame. I thought there’d be more people here tonight. Do you want to go back to my place instead?”

My first thought is, who would want to come here on a Saturday night , but then I realize Adam is that person and I cringe. My second thought is, yes, finally an out .

“You know, I’m not feeling very well. I think I might call it a night.”

“Seriously?”

Cracks form in my patience and I have to grip the side of the stool to maintain my composure. “Yeah? Is that a problem?”

“Come on. I know we’re not hitting it off, but there’s no reason we can’t still have some fun tonight,” he says with a sly smirk.

God, I hate men , I think when I plaster my biggest fake smile on my face. “Adam, I think I’d rather have fun with myself than with you any night of the week. Something tells me you’re the kind of guy who only cares that he’s had fun anyways.”

I quickly hoist my body off the bar stool, not waiting around for Adam’s reaction. Before I make it out of the entrance, all I hear is the group of wannabe bikers howling laughing at the dumb look on his face as I walk away.

It’s safe to say that my first experience dating in Honey Grove did not go well. I’m sure Adam will tell all his little friends what a bitch I am, but I couldn’t care less. I have a hot date with one of the cutest calves at Campbell Farm.

* * *

Before heading home, I stop at the liquor store and grab a bottle of wine for Blake as a thank you for watching over Mocha. It hasn’t been long, but I figure he has much better things to do tonight than babysitting a calf. I also can’t remember if he even likes wine, aside from the time we stole a bottle from Mom’s stash and had the worst hangovers of our lives.

I make it back home in no time. When I see Blake’s truck still sitting in the driveway, I feel a shifting feeling near my heart. I dismiss it for heartburn from the shitty beer and trek over to the calf barn.

As soon as I make it to the spot where Blake’s blanket was set-up before I left, I realize it’s gone. Soon enough, I see he’s only moved a few feet closer to Mocha. My stomach drops and a warm, tingly sensation floods my senses.

He looks up from the textbook laying on his lap and as soon as he sees me, he smiles. His smile is soon replaced with a frown when he says, “Campbell, I told you I could watch Mocha. What are you doing here?”

I walk over to Mocha and stare at the adorable calf curled up next to Blake. I almost forget Blake’s disappointed tone with all the cuteness unfolding before me. “I know, I know. The guilt just kept getting to me and I was distracted the entire time,” I lie. “I told Adam about what happened, and we decided to go out another time.”

I’m not sure why I lied. All I know is I don’t want that asshole to take up anymore of my headspace. It also doesn’t hurt to see Blake’s reaction.

If I didn’t know him as well as I did, I wouldn’t have caught the brief wave of emotions on his face. Blake is good at concealing his feelings when he wants to, but I’m even better at seeing right through him. “Oh, and for being such a nice human, I come bearing gifts.”

I hand the bottle to Blake, and he gently takes it. “Thank you, but really, I don’t mind.”

“Oh, come on, Blake. It’s Saturday night. You can’t really expect me to believe you didn’t have any plans tonight? You’re an eligible bachelor in Honey Grove. You’re a hot commodity.”

“Well, thank you for the compliment. If I’m being honest, I’m usually so exhausted from the week that I rarely make plans on the weekends. Remember when you saw me at the Rustic Inn? That was a rare occurrence.”

After standing for less than five minutes, I decide to plop down next to Blake. I make sure we’re an appropriate distance away before I kick off my shoes and lean against the wooden fence.

“Well, if some girl puked down the side of my truck, I probably wouldn’t go out a ton either,” I joke to lighten the mood. “But no, I completely get that. I forgot how much work the farm is. I don’t know how Chris does this every day.”

“Yeah, he’s the hardest working guy I know. I wish I was half the man he was sometimes.” After Blake finishes his sentence, he takes out his pocketknife and swiftly uncorks the wine bottle. He learned that move when we stole my mom’s wine without a wine opener. It took us longer to get the bottle open than it did to drink it.

He takes a long swig before passing it to me. I stare at the bottle for a minute, thinking about how intimate drinking out of the same bottle is. Feeling a pair of heated eyes on me, I say fuck it and take a swig.

“Is this okay?” Blake asks before taking the bottle back.

“Is what okay?”

“Us hanging out like this? I know it doesn’t technically break your rule because we’re at the farm, but still, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

I’m not sure how I should feel about us hanging out. If I’m being honest, it’s nice to just sit here and talk to him. It feels more like talking to an old friend than talking to an ex. This is one of the first times I haven’t felt a need to run away.

“I was hoping you’d leave by now, but since you’re sharing the wine, I guess you can stay.”

He smiles at me, and I smile back as a spark goes off in my chest. “So, Fisher, I think it’s time to settle something. You were the one that thought it was a good idea to steal poor old Mrs. Cooke’s garden gnomes, right?