Homesick

Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

“I ’m tired of convincing myself this is a bad idea.”

Before Blake can respond, I throw my arms around his neck and crash my lips into his. This time, I don’t hesitate. I just go for it.

Blake pushes me against a random car and his mouth hungrily devours mine

He was holding back the other night in the hay loft.

For every inch I offer, he takes, and for a moment, I pull away to see the fireworks starting in the distance, but Blake pulls me back in.

His hands make up for lost time and get reacquainted with every surface they can.

I let out a small squeak when he forcefully grabs my butt, but soon it turns into a satisfied moan.

As the fireworks go off in the distance, so do the fireworks inside my mind. My entire body is on fire as I push myself up against Blake, desperate to deepen the kiss. I quickly block out all our surroundings and I couldn’t care less if someone sees us going at it like a couple of teenagers.

Before long, I feel Blake’s fingertips dance at the waist of my jeans and my heart almost beats out of my chest. I buck my hips forward, encouraging him to go just a little further. I feel my core pulse at the thought of release.

When Blake’s lips leave mine, I can feel the frown stain my face from lack of contact.

He gently whispers in my ear, “do you want me to touch you?”

Blake continues to pepper kisses down the side of my throat while he waits for my answer. Without even thinking, I desperately whisper, “yes,” while trying to contain my needy scream.

Like magic, Blake unbuttons my jeans and lightly traces his fingertips along the waistline of my lace panties.

“What do you say, Wren?”

Without even thinking, I automatically know what he wants to hear. “Please,” I let out in a breathy tone.

I inhale sharply when his finger finally slips past the final barrier and go straight where I need him to go. “Fuck, you’re wet.”

I groan at his filthy words and connect my mouth with his. He slowly brings his middle finger lower, exploring every inch of my folds. Blake uses one finger to gather the wetness that has slowly been building since I saw him push Adam up against that wall.

I throw my head back when his fingertips graze my clit. Blake uses his mouth on my neck, while effortlessly finding my sweet spot. The connection is almost too much, but it feels amazing once he gets a steady rhythm.

I fight the need to cry out, knowing we’re in a very public space. “Do you want me to make you cum, Wren?”

I bring my eyes to him and respond, “more than anything.” After those three words, he connects my mouth with his and I let myself fall apart in his arms.

* * *

“Are you even listening to me?”

My eyes trail back to Emma as she tries to regain my attention. After last night, I’m a complete mess. The second I try to concentrate on something, my mind wanders to the feeling of being pressed up against that car. I’m waiting for a wave of regret to hit me like a cold splash of water, but it never does. The only feeling of regret I do have is not giving in sooner.

“Earth to Wren! I’m trying to tell you about this bitch in my mommy and me group. But now that I say it out loud, it’s kind of lame.”

“Oh God, sorry Em. I didn’t realize I was zoning out again. I completely agree that she shouldn’t expect you to go to every play date.”

“Yeah yeah, you’re just as bored with my life as I am. I totally get it,” Emma mutters before taking a sip of her drink. “Just tell me about your night already.”

A deep-set blush begins to spread across my cheeks. I try to conceal it by taking a long sip of water, but Emma can see right past me.

“Oh, you slut! You got laid last night, didn’t you!”

Emma is so excited; she’s practically bouncing out of her seat. I turn my head to make sure Colt and Milo are still minding their own business over by the swing set. I made sure to come over to Emma’s place early to get all the dirty details out of the way before the rest of the guests showed up.

“I didn’t exactly get laid.”

Emma’s face sinks immediately when I make that confession, but I know she won’t be disappointed with the rest of the story.

“I did however do other extracurriculars.”

“I’m listening,” she says with open ears.

Not being able to contain it anymore, I say, “Iletblakefingermeagainstsomeonesfordfocuslastnight.”

My confession comes tumbling out like word vomit and I can tell from Emma’s expression, she needed a redo. I let out a deep sigh and do one last spot check to make sure no little ears are nearby. “I let Blake finger me against someone’s Ford Focus last night.”

Emma’s mouth comically drops open, and I give her a minute to absorb the bomb I just dropped. It takes her a second to form her words before she finally replies. “I honestly don’t know what to say.”

Then I tell her the entire story. I tell her all about how Adam was a complete ass and how Blake stepped in to defend my honor like a god damn frickin knight in shining armor. Then I intimately describe how I jumped his bones and let him defile me in public. “And then we said goodnight and I haven’t spoken to him since.”

“So, what happens next?”

“We haven’t talked about it,” I say with an uneasy tone. I can tell from Emma’s lack of excitement, she doesn’t approve. “I think we can make it work if we come to some sort of agreement.”

“Listen, Wren. I was there when this thing blew up last time and it wasn’t pretty. Hell, you couldn’t even spend three days in town before fleeing back to Ohio. I love you and I don’t want to see you get hurt. I also don’t want to lose you again.”

I completely understand why Emma feels that way and it’s not anything I haven’t thought about either. I’m not sure what Blake and I are going to do and last night might’ve just been a moment of weakness. All I know is it felt good to be close to him again. A little too good.

“I know it was probably a dumb idea, but it just felt right in the moment. I doubt it’ll happen again.”

Before we can continue our conversation, Emma’s eyes go wide, and I follow them to a familiar pick-up pulling down the driveway.

“Oh shit,” she says, standing up from her seat at the picnic table. “I completely forgot Colt invited Blake,” Emma announces before pausing. I turn my head when I hear a car door pop open. “When he asked, I thought he was joking. We haven’t been on the same page lately.”

“Shit. Okay, just promise me you’ll pretend like you know nothing. Also, please don’t be a dick to him and make shit weirder than it already is,” I say, scrambling out of my seat. Thank God I wore a decent outfit , I think as I look down at my navy blue sundress.

“As long as you promise to keep your hands off of each other in front of me, you have a deal,” she says with a weary smile. “Oh! And can you run inside and get the extra cups off the counter?”

I nod my head and quickly run inside to grab the cups off of the counter. Before I emerge from the house again, I take a few minutes to collect myself before seeing Blake.

When I push open the squeaky door, I come face to face with the cutest scene. Blake is crouched down near Milo, letting the clumsy baby hold on to his finger for support. Milo is at that age where he’s just on the verge of taking his first steps, but he still needs support to stand properly.

My ovaries practically cry out when I see how sweet Blake is being with the ten-month-old. I can tell from the way he clenches and unclenches his free hand, that he’s nervous. I feel a shadow of a smile warming its way to my face, but I contain myself for now.

Just as I’m about to peel my eyes away, Blake looks up and we make eye contact. A hot flash creeps up the back of my neck under the intensity of his stare. The corner of his mouth tips up in a smile before he flashes me his famous “caught ya staring” wink.

A weird fluttering sensation fills my stomach. I take a deep breath and walk over to him. The man had made me cum less than twenty-four hours ago, yet I was terrified of being a dork around him. Blake has seen me at my worst, but there is this fear that if I fall back into how things were, we will ultimately meet the same end.

As I’m walking over to Blake, I see Emma making her way toward the same destination. It’s strange seeing my two childhood best friends interacting again. I can tell that Emma doesn’t think that whatever is going on between Blake and I is a good idea. Even if she didn’t say anything, I can see the look of disapproval wash over her face every time I mention his name.

Emma gets to Blake before I can and by the way her shoulders are sagging, I can tell that the interaction is not a good one. Once I approach, she grabs Milo and walks away. I throw her a questioning look, but she just gives me a fake smile and heads over to the rest of the group.

“Everything okay?” I ask as I walk up to Blake.

Blake’s facial expression goes from tense to warm when he opens his mouth to reply. “Yeah, it’s fine. I guess Emma still isn’t my biggest fan.”

I desperately want to reach out and stroke his shoulder reassuringly, but I know I can’t do that here. I don’t even know if I can do that, period. It may be crossing the line of whatever this thing is between us. “Are you free after this? I want to talk about last night.”

“You’re not going to tell me it was a mistake again, are you?” Blake says with a smirk.

“No . . . I just want to talk about what comes next. This whole work acquaintances thing obviously isn’t working. I want to keep last night a secret. My brother would be pissed, and you know how everyone in this town likes to run their mouths.”I

His smile seems to fade slightly when I use the word secret . However, it’s quickly replaced once I stop talking. “We didn’t do a good job at following your rules.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Maybe we need new rules then,” I respond bluntly.

My mind is racing. Somehow, I feel like if I can convince myself this attraction is purely physical, I can get through the rest of this summer unscathed. It’s na?ve, but after last night, I don’t trust myself not to cross that line again.

“Okay,” he says, running his hand over his beard. “Let’s meet at my place. My mom is staying at her boyfriend’s house tonight, so she won’t be home.”

“Sheila has a boyfriend? Good for her!”

“Yup. First guy she’s dated since Dad. Seems to be going well.”

Blake’s dad died when he was younger. Sheila moved to Honey Grove right after it happened, but that’s about as much as I knew. It’s odd that such a sad moment in his life led to such a happy time in mine.

“Okay, sounds good.”

“Oh, and Wren, don’t get any ideas. We’re just talking,” he says jokingly before walking over to Colt.

Damn, he looks good from behind .

* * *

When I pull up to the Fisher residence, I think back to my last visit and how much things have changed in such a short amount of time. I grip the wheel and take a deep breath before putting the car in park. It’s been ages since I’ve been in Blake’s house. It’s going to be like taking a trip down memory lane that I didn’t ask for.

The porch creaks under my boots when I approach the front door. I lift my hand to knock, but I pause for a second and think about the times when I would just barge in like I lived here. I push the memories away and proceed to hit the scabbed wood of their old door.

I hear uneven footsteps and soon Blake’s large build fills the frame of the door. “You know you don’t have to knock, right?”

“I was being polite. Ever heard of it?”

He laughs at my answer and steps back so I can walk in. The old house hasn’t changed a bit since we were kids. It even has the same smell of dust and cinnamon that’s been baked into every wall in this place. I breath in the familiar smell and my pulse quickens from all of the happy memories I had here as a kid.

I follow Blake into the kitchen, and he motions for me to sit down at the table while he puts the kettle on for some tea. I look around some more and my eyes land on a very old picture of Blake, Chris, and I that’s hanging on the wall.

I was thirteen in the picture and I’m wearing my favorite pair of blue jean overalls. I had finally hit puberty, which was a godsend because I loved the way I could hold Blake’s stare for longer than usually. He stopped looking at me as just a friend that summer.

I get out of my chair and take the picture in my hands. As I look closer, Blake is looking at me with a huge smile on his face and I swear my heart skips a beat.

“I miss those overalls,” he says as he walks up behind me. “Whatever happened to them?”

“Remember Rachel Brown? She made fun of me the one day and I never wore them again. She has a botched boob job now, so look who’s laughing.”

“Well, I loved them,” he says casually. “I especially loved them in the summer when all you would wear underneath was your bikini.”

My pulse quickens when I feel his breath feather the back of my neck. I gently place the picture back on the wall and turn to face him. He’s closer than I realized so I attempt to take a step back, but accidentally hit the wall.

Blake smiles at my clumsiness and steps closer. He places both of his hands on each side of me, trapping my body against the wall. I take my hands and brace them against his hard chest, restraining myself from exploring more. Focus, Wren , I tell myself before clearing my throat. “Umm, I think we should talk before we do anything else.”

I bite my lip in anticipation of his answer, which causes his eyes to drift lower. “I think it’s a little late for that,” Blake says before leaning in. I close my eyes and prepare for the connection, but it’s sadly interrupted by the loud squealing of the tea kettle.

“Saved by the bell,” he says jokingly before pushing himself off the wall.

I take a moment to regain my composure before joining him at the table. It’s so hard to focus on anything being alone with him. I feel like a teenager again, trying to take every opportunity to push things a little farther.

I clear my throat before sitting down across from Blake. “So, last night was fun, but I want to be clear that it doesn’t mean I want to get back together.”

“What do you want then?” Blake asks from across the table. “If you didn’t want that to happen again then you obviously wouldn’t be here.”

“Right,” I say, taking a deep breath. “What if we just keep things casual?”

“Like friends with benefits?” Blake asks with raised eyebrows.

“Something like that,” I agree, warily. “We’re obviously still attracted to each other. We just need to get it out of our systems and then we can finally move on when my brother gets better.”

Blake’s eyes drop momentarily and his shoulders slump forward. He only assumes this position for a moment and like a rubber ball, he bounces back.

“And that’s what you want?”

“Yeah,” I say softly. “But with rules, of course.”

“I’m starting to think rules are your kink, Campbell,” Blake jokes.

“Very funny,” I respond, rolling my eyes. “I think this is obvious, but let’s keep things light. No long talks about what could’ve been and all that bullshit.”

“Geez, Wren. Tell me how you really feel,” he replies in a sarcastic tone.

“See? That was perfect! Also, no cuddling or lingering afterwards. A light conversation beforehand is fine, but nothing too intimate, obviously.”

I pause for a second to make sure Blake is fine with everything I’ve said so far before I continue. “And if either of us starts feeling like we want more, than we should end things. I don’t want our relationship to affect our work at the farm. And of course, no one can know. Well, except for Emma because I already told her a little bit.”

“That’s bullshit. You can tell your friends, but I can’t?

“Emma isn’t just a friend. Also, who are you going to tell? My brother? Because that’s the main person I don’t want to find out.”

“Fine,” Blake says with a slight grumble. “No dating other people while we’re messing around. That’s the only rule I want to add.”

“Okay, that’s fair. There’s one more rule I want to add, too. I’m fine with everything and anything, except for actual sex. That’s too intimate for me . . . you know, with all our history and stuff.”

Blake looks at me for a second like he wants to protest but stops himself before he responds. A second later he finally says something. “Okay. There’s still plenty of ways to get each other off without sex.”

“Okay great. Well, I guess there’s not much else left to discuss,” I finish shyly. I like to consider myself confident when it comes to what happens beneath the sheets, but it’s different with Blake. We have a lot of catching up to do and I’m eager to dive in.

Before I can say anything else, Blake sets down his cup and stands up. He grabs my hand and guides me to the edge of the table. With one fluid motion, I’m sitting on his dining room table with him tucked between my legs.

“Are you ready,” he whispers in my ear as his hands glide down to my hips. “Yes,” I reply breathlessly and watch him lower himself to the ground. I’m already loving this deal and we haven’t even scratched the surface yet.