Homesick

Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

“I talked to the visitor’s bureau and they’re going to feature us in their monthly newsletter!” Sheila crushes me in one of her world-famous hugs before I can make a break for it. “This is so exciting!”

“That’s great, Sheila, but I can barely breathe at the present moment.”

“Oh geez, I’m sorry, hun,” she says before finally releasing me.

I take a deep breath once I feel the oxygen beginning to circulate again.

“Oh! Before I forget, their director wanted to see if I could give her your card. She said something about helping other small businesses boost their online presence. I told her I had to make sure it was okay with you first, though.”

When I first started helping the Rustic Inn a few weeks ago, I was just using it to get through the day. I never imagined it could lead to other opportunities. At my old job, we worked with outside agencies frequently, so maybe I could do that. Maybe I could even turn this thing into a business of my own.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Let me pull together a portfolio and you can share that with her.”

“Okay, perfect! Again, so exciting! I’m very proud of you, Wren.”

I flash her my best prideful smile as I feel the heart within my chest grow. It feels like after months of feeling lost, I’m finally finding my footing. There’s still a lot of uncertainty, and nothing is guaranteed, but I’m hopeful for the first time in a long time.

I hear my phone ping and without thinking, I pull it from my pocket. My mouth curves into an unexpected smile when I see Blake’s name pop up on my screen. We have been hooking up for the past two weeks and it hasn’t completely blown up in my face yet.

My phone pings again, but this time I see Emma’s contact pop up. I feel my smile deflate until it’s inevitably replaced by a frown. I’ve been avoiding Emma since I started seeing Blake. She probably already knows what’s going on between Blake and I following our conversation at the Fourth of July picnic, but I’m still reluctant to tell her. I know she’ll be disappointed and that will lead me to overthink this whole thing.

I let out a deep sigh and decide to answer Emma later. I click on Blake’s name instead.

Blake: Did you know that female alpacas reject males by spitting on them?

Me: I had no clue. How do you know that?

Blake: Let’s just say I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Blake: **picture

I try to contain my laughter when I look at a picture of Blake with green goo covering his face. I automatically save the picture to my phone and make it his contact picture.

Me: Hmm seems like an effective method. Maybe I’ll give it a try sometime.

Blake: I have something you can spit on.

My eyes go wide at his text. Before I can respond, my phone lights up again.

Blake: Just keeping things light, right?

Me: Asshole

Blake: See you later, Campbell ;)

* * *

I let out a big yawn and prepare myself for another night of grueling chores. The only difference between now and the beginning of summer is I now have something to look forward to afterward.

I’m happy to have a new place to relieve my stress and I can feel myself getting lighter as the day wears on. Probably not great that said stress reliever is my ex, but hey, I’m taking one thing at a time.

I head over to the main barn and get ready to clean up the stalls while the herd is still out in the pasture. My first stop is the ancient radio that sits in the corner and has a layer of dust about two inches thick. The only radio station it gets is oldies country, but I’ll take what I can get. The sound of static fills the room, but after one swift kick, the station instantly clears up and Dolly Parton fills the room.

I grab my shovel/microphone and get to work. Chris would never admit this today, but we used to put on mini concerts around the farm as we sang our hearts out to old Johnny Cash or Hank Williams.

My mom still has an old camcorder somewhere with both of us on it. I’m the only one that knows the location, though. I hid it after one Easter when my cousins found the old tapes and were as relentless as kids can be.

I start swaying my hips to the beat and get lost in the music as I disassociate from the grueling task at hand. The callouses on my hands are starting to reappear like an old friend I hadn’t seen in years. The first few days holding this shovel were brutal, but I soon became familiar with hard work again.

My ears perk up as the song changes and I hear Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn echo across the old barn. I pull the handle of the shovel up to my mouth and begin to belt the first line of one of my favorite songs growing up. The cows are lucky they’re out in the pasture right now or they’d be forced to suffer through my tone-deaf version of a classic country song.

I take the meaning of dance like no one is watching to a whole new level and twirl my heart away in the middle of the hay-covered concrete. My boots skirt across the floor and I feel carefree for the first time in a while. I close my eyes and throw my head back as I belt out the next line of the song and wish for more days like this.

Sadly, the song ends abruptly. Outdated commercials fill up the empty space, bringing me back down to earth. I finish up the area I’m in and stop for a quick water break. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a familiar truck parked in front of the barn and my peacefulness is replaced with sheer panic.

I search for signs of Blake, but I breathe a sigh of relief when I notice he’s nowhere in my current vicinity. I head toward his truck to see if I can find him.

His truck is empty, and I can’t find him anywhere close so I throw my hands on my hips and contemplate calling him. Just as I’m about to give up and continue my chores I hear the radio start blasting again. This time, another classic I can’t remember the name of starts playing and I spot Blake performing his own concert with my old microphone.

I slowly walk back to the barn and watch him wiggle his hips while he tries to do an Elvis-like move which doesn’t fit the vibe of the song at all. Soon enough I feel laughter bubbling up my throat and the harder his air thrusts go, the more my uncontrollable laughter takes over. Soon my hands are on my knees and I’m somewhere between having to pee and falling over onto the ground.

When the song ends, Blake takes a dramatic bow and I meet him halfway with a singular round of applause. For a few minutes, I see a glimpse the silly sixteen-year-old who would do anything to make me laugh.

I start moving closer, but my mind stops my heart at a safe distance. I bite my lip and figure out how to approach this moment next. He’s the first one to break the silence.

“I thought maybe you’d appreciate it if I was the one in an embarrassing situation for once.” He looks nervous as he rubs his hands down his pants trying to wipe away an imaginary stain.

“So, you did see me! I knew it. Also, who said I was embarrassed?”

“The tips of your ears always turn bright red, and you have this cute nervous laugh thing you do. It’s easy to tell when you get embarrassed. It’s even easier to tell when you get frustrated, which typically comes after the embarrassment.”

“So, you’re admitting you saw my little one woman show then?”

“I didn’t see anything,” he answers with a smug smile.

I roll my eyes and let myself smile one more time before reining in my warmth. He’s still charming as ever and I can feel the enticing thrall of old feelings beginning to bubble up. I dismiss them immediately.

“Okay, fine. I’ll take this back,” I say, taking the shovel from his hand. Our hands touch momentarily, and I feel a shiver runs up my arm. Those hands had been on me countless times these past two weeks, but sometimes the feeling still surprises me.

“What are you working on first?”

“I was thinking I could start with your neck and slowly work my way down to your . . .”

“Blake! You know that’s not what I meant,” I scold, checking to see if there are any prying ears nearby.

A familiar heat begins to work its way up to my cheeks again, so I take a sip of my water to try and cool down.

“You’re no fun, Campbell. But now that you mention it, I could use your help. Your brother wants me to check on some of the heifers to make sure they’re on track to breed.”

“Why do you need my help with that?” I say with a crinkled-up face.

“Relax, I already did all the . . . invasive stuff. I just need to do a few more overall physical assessments. I need you to help steady some of the heifers while I work.”

I agree and follow Blake to the heifer barn, trailing behind a few steps to enjoy the view. When we get to the barn a few minutes later, all the heifers are enjoying their supper for the evening. There’s no better distraction than a freshly poured trough of grain.

I stop in my tracks for a moment when I realize, much like last time, Blake could’ve done this by himself. I continue to follow him though.

Now that I’m not on edge every second from the awkward tension between Blake and I, it’s nice hanging out with him. I have to be careful though because the minute it becomes too nice, I have to bail. Or at least that’s what we agreed on.

Blake skillfully puts a halter on the first patient, and I grab some rope to tie it up to the fence. The heifer isn’t going anywhere as long as there is food in front of her face, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

I position myself at one side of the cow while Blake gets to work. I gently pat the side of her coat and watch Blake focus on what he’s doing. He has always been a hard worker, but there’s an unmistakable glow about him when he’s truly passionate about what he’s doing.

I let my mind wander back to when we were kids, and we would make forts in the woods. Blake was always so precise about where each stick went and when we were finally done, he would stand back and stare at his creation.

“What are you thinking about over there, Campbell,” Blake says, pulling me out of my daydream.

“Oh nothing,” I lie with a smile. Old memories led to old feelings, and old feelings led to broken hearts. I shake my head and quickly change the conversation. “So, you like working at the vet’s, then?”

He stares at me for a moment, and I see a sheen gloss over his eyes like he’s trying to read my mind. He takes a beat but gives up quickly before responding.

“Yeah, it’s been great. I’ve been getting really good experience. I’ve also been building good relationships with some of the other farmers around here so hopefully when old man Dale retires, I can just take over for him.”

“When do you finish vet school or whatever it’s called?”

“I’m taking some classes online, but I start the main program in the fall.”

Blake stops what he’s doing for a moment and looks up at me again. “What about you? My mom says you’re kicking ass with the website and social stuff you’re doing for the bar.”

Weird . He just changed the subject. “Yeah, it’s been fun getting to flex my creative side. I don’t know if it’s career-worthy though.”

“Why not?”

“Hmm, let’s see. Best case scenario, I get some more clients and make enough to squeak by on. Worst case scenario, the Rustic Inn is the only client I can get, and I end up waitressing for the rest of my life.”

Blake finishes up the exam and plops down on one of the half-eaten hay bales.

“The way I see it is you never know if you don’t try.” He pauses his sentence and looks at me before continuing his thought. “What I mean is, you already have one client who thinks you’re awesome. All it takes to succeed in this town is one good recommendation and you’ve got it. I would say your odds are pretty good at this point.”

How did a conversation that started about him turn into a conversation about me so quickly? He’s making sense, but it’s still scary. I have no clue how to even start my own business, let alone how to run one. Suddenly, I’m missing blunt rejections from ominous HR goons. I know I can always apply for another job, but starting my own business? That’s a whole other ball game.

“I’m still not sure if I want to stay in Honey Grove, though. That would mean I’d be here for good.”

“You make this place sound like a death sentence,” he says in a serious tone. So much for keeping it light . “Wren, when you first moved back almost two months ago you were a shell of yourself. Being home has brought life back into you. Now call me crazy, but it seems like the place you’ve been running away from for six years, is actually the thing you needed the most.”

Maybe he’s right. But it’s not just this town. It’s so much more.