Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
“Y ou can take the bed,” Blake mumbles when we enter the ancient motel room. I swear I see dust rise from the comforter when I plop down on the edge of the bed.
“And where are you going to sleep?”
“I can take the floor. It’ll be fine for one night.”
I roll my eyes and let out a heavy sigh before saying, “that’s ridiculous. We can share the bed. We’re both adults here.”
A yawn begins to form in my throat, but I swallow it. I’m mentally and physically drained from this day, but somehow my mind is still wired. We’ve both been quiet since the diner and the prolonged silence has begun to sour the air around us. Everything Blake said earlier should’ve cleared our path to each other, but there is still one major roadblock.
“Okay, well I’m going to shower,” Blake declares before barricading himself in the small bathroom.
I lay back on the dusty motel comforter and stare at the ceiling. There is a suspicious yellow stain that my eyes instantly go to as I let my mind run wild.
I understand Blake’s reasons for pushing me away all those years ago, but it’ll take me some time to fully trust him again.
There’s also the echoing question of long distance. We’ll be building our relationship from old scraps from the past and long distance will only dredge up old insecurities. It’s a recipe for disaster, and I’m not sure if we’d survive another collapse.
I want to be hopeful and make up some bullshit about how our love will defy all odds, but that’s not true. We haven’t defied all odds.
I hear a sharp squealing noise when Blake turns on the shower. I throw my body up from the bed and walk over to the window.
The second I throw open the curtains of our motel room, I spot Big Foot in the parking lot. Or a man dressed like Big Foot to be exact. For the first time today, a genuine smile cracks through the surface of years of pent-up anger.
All I can think of as I stare at this crazy human is how much Blake would love this. Then I think of how much my heart soars when he smiles. Seeing a real Blake Fisher smile makes my entire body tingle with adoration. I feel like I can float on air when he smiles at me, and that feeling hasn’t changed in the six years we’ve been apart. It probably won’t ever change.
Tears begin to well up in my eyes and I curse myself for letting my emotions seep through. I swallow hard and try to stop them by slamming my eye lids shut, but it’s too late. A lone tear tickles down my cheek and gravity pulls it to the ground.
My entire body jumps when I hear the door to the bathroom swing open. I wipe the wetness from my face but stay facing the window.
“Wren,” Blake calls out. I can feel him inch closer to me.
I feel my knees begin to weaken and my skin starts to light up the closer he gets. A moment later he grabs my forearm and twists my body to face him. I keep my eyes slammed shut before he can see my pain.
Without saying anything, he reaches up and catches one stray tear that has a mind of its own. Finally, I surrender and look into his deep green irises. My heart pounds against my ribcage, like an animal begging to be let loose.
“What’s wrong, Campbell?”
I swallow hard and take in a shaky breath.
“I hate that you’re leaving. I finally got a second chance, but now it doesn’t matter.”
Blake snaps his hands to his sides, almost forgetting our current state. I can see him fidgeting like he desperately wants to touch me but knows he can’t. Then there’s a sudden shift and his dark irises become a lighter shade of green. A more intimate tone.
“I know you think we can’t make this work, but I want to try. I know what losing you feels like, and I won’t let it happen again. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I’d rather try than be right back where we started in another six years. I’m tired of waiting for the right time. Let’s make it right.”
Blake still holds his hands at his sides, waiting for my full consent before letting his body take control. My breaths are ragged and I’m on the edge of giving in. The realist in me is currently playing chess with the hopeless romantic living in my head.
“I’m scared, Blake. Getting over you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do and I don’t know if I can do it again. If things haven’t worked out by now, maybe it’s not meant to be.”
“You know what I think?” Blake says with a playful smile painted across his lips. “We needed the time we spent apart to grow up and become who we are now. These past few weeks I’ve been getting to know the new Wren and I hate to say it, but I think I love her even more than the old Wren. We’re not the same people we were six years ago, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned from my mistakes. I know it’s a lot, asking you to give this a chance, but I think what we have is worth the pain we went through to get here.”
Love . It’s the one word we’ve both been dancing around. I may have confused it with hate, but I never stopped loving Blake. I’ve loved him from the moment my eyes met him for the first time when we were kids. He’ll always be planted in my mind as my person. I knew it as a kid, and I know it now with him standing inches from my touch.
“I love the new Blake even more than the old Blake,” I whisper delicately as I let the words fall off my tongue.
I feel the weakened wall within my heart take its final tumble. I’m still not certain if I’ll regret letting him in, but I’d rather regret loving Blake Fisher than miss out on it. The walls I’d built had allowed me to retreat into my heart too many times. It’s time to bear it all.
“So, are we’re doing this?” he asks with a boyish grin.
“We’re doing this.”
Within seconds, Blake’s restraint snaps and his hands are tangled in the mess of hair piled on my head. I open my mouth and let his tongue explore mine. I know we’ve kissed recently, but this feels different. It feels like I’m finally letting go for the first time this summer and letting him have every piece of me. I want him to have every piece of me.
My moan vibrates through my entire body as Blake’s hands cup my ass. Before I can register what’s happening, he’s carrying me across the room to the bed. Blake throws me on the bed and for the first time, I realize the only thing separating me from his manhood is a flimsy towel. My mouth ticks up in a flirty smile as I observe how low the fabric sits on his toned waist.
“Are you checking me out, Campbell?” Blake quips with a husky tone.
“Maybe,” I say, propping myself up on my elbows to get a better view. “I think the towel needs to go.”
Blake’s eyes darken at my proposition and soon his towel hits the floor without a sound. I push myself off my elbows and inch to the end of the bed where my lips are inches away from his cock. I stare at his erect member before slowly tilting my chin up in an almost sinister way.
When I look up, his eyes are filled with curiosity and anticipation. I keep eye contact when I open my mouth and wrap my lips around his swollen tip. He tilts his head back in ecstasy and I take that as my sign to go deep. I thrust his cock into my throat, and I let out a suppressed moan.
Soon I have the rhythm I need and while he’s thrusting in and out of my mouth, I swirl my tongue around the most sensitive part of him. I slide my hands to the back of his thighs, inviting him to go faster and deeper.
Before I can feel him spill into my throat, he grabs me by the wrist and yanks my entire body up.
“I’m not ready to cum just yet,” he says with fire in his eyes. “I want these off now,” Blake says before grabbing at the hem of my t-shirt. My clothes soon join the discarded pile of his towel on the motel floor.
He pulls me in closer and turns us around before leaning in. He kisses the skin behind my ear and whispers, “I want you to ride me.” Chills erupt on the surface of my skin at the way his thumb skirts over my hardened nipple.
Blake sits down on the bed and grabs my hands as he guides us onto the soft mattress. Once he’s laying down, I align our hips together and get ready to cross the line we’ve been edging toward for the past few weeks.
Before I can fully slide myself down, he grabs my wrist again before saying, “I can’t wait for you to ride my dick, but I was talking about my face, babe.”
A red-hot blush spreads across my face at my mistake, but before I have time to be embarrassed, he grabs my waist and positions my thighs on both sides of his face. I gently lower my center to his mouth, not wanting to crush him, but again, he’s pulling me into him with a fervency. I gasp as his tongue swipes up my slit and settles on my clit.
My pulse quickens and a finger teases my entrance before fully entering me. I tip my head back in pure bliss. He knows every inch of me, and he’s making sure to remind me.
Blake swirls his tongue around my clit, and I grab the headboard in surprise. I can feel the edge of my orgasm peeking out, but I don’t want this moment to end. Soon I’m grinding into his tongue, begging for more. “Please,” I squeak out without any context.
His hands reach up to my ass and squeeze, prompting for me to ride him harder. I can feel the heat in my belly begin to intensify. This time, I gladly let it fester as I feel myself spill over.
“Oh god, Blake. I’m cumming.” I let the wave of pleasure fall over my body and forget where I am for a moment as I throw my head back in ecstasy.
A few moments later, I realize Blake has flipped us over and his lips are on my neck. “That was—” I can’t even describe the feeling washing over me, but I don’t have to because Blake’s mouth is on mine. I can taste myself on his tongue and I love the sense of belonging that comes over me.
Not being able to wait any longer, Blake’s tip is at my entrance. He pulls back from my lips and stares at me. I can see the love swirling in his big green eyes and I wish I could remember this moment forever. We’ve had many first together, but this feels different. This feels like the beginning of being okay again.
“Is this okay?” Blake questions.
“Yeah. I’m still on the pill.”
He pauses for a moment before saying, “that’s not what I meant, Wren. I want to make sure you’re not going to regret this.”
After everything we’ve been through this summer, I can still see a hint of the same vulnerable boy I met all those years ago. He’s just as scared as I am of messing this up. “I’ll never regret saying yes to you, Blake Fisher.”
With that, he finally lets go and thrusts into me. I rake my nails down his back and pull him in as close as possible. I let out a cry of relief as the thrusts begin to speed up. At some point, he pulls back slightly, and we just stare at each other in utter infatuation. It’s almost as if we’re both surprised we got to this moment.
Minutes and many heavy breaths later, his thrusts become uneven, and he nestles his head into the crook of my neck. I feel the warmth in my core begin to build up again, begging to be tipped over. “I’m so close,” I whisper into his ear as I caress his soft hair.
He tips his head up and connects his lips with mine as we reach our peaks together. I can feel the spasm of his cock inside me and my lips tilt into a smile of satisfaction.
Home is the word that comes to mind as we fall to the bed, and he grabs my waist to pull me in closer. My mouth is frozen in the form of a forever smile as he presses wet kisses to the back of my neck. I’ve never felt more at home than in his arms.
* * *
“That tickles,” I protest as Blake strokes my naked thigh. “I’m trying to sleep.”
It’s half true. After an entire summer of pushing Blake away, I don’t want to miss a moment of finally having him to myself. I’m exhausted from an entire night of getting to know each other, but I could spend the rest of my life tired if it feels like this.
“Can I ask you a question, Wren?” Blake says as he continues to stroke my side.
I finally give up and turn so I’m facing him. He looks like a Greek god with the white sheets barely covering his bottom half.
“Of course. What is it?”
Blake’s eyes float down my body while playing with one corner of the sheet. His mood has shifted from playful to somber, but I’m not worried about what comes next. I feel calm and safe in this moment.
“Did you,” Blake begins but stops himself. “Did you not come home all those years because of me?”
My own face drops at his question. It’s the last thing I’m expecting him to bring up right now. I let out a heavy sigh and yank the sheet up to my chin for protection. I let my eyes drift anywhere but Blake’s face as I let the words tumble out.
“At first, yes. You were my light for so long I forgot how to see in this town without you. Every little thing would remind me of you. There was a time that I couldn’t even go to the farm because every corner was painted with a memory of you.”
I pause to collect my thoughts before continuing.
“But then I started to use it as an excuse. It was hard to picture myself in this town without you, but it was even harder to picture my life without this town. I pushed everyone away just so I could try and figure out what that kind of future looked like. I thought I needed a fresh start, but I just ended up pushing away the people I loved the most. I didn’t really realize that until this summer, though.”
At some point, I had curled my feet into my body, hoping to bring myself comfort. I had relied on myself for comfort for so long, it became second nature to curl up into myself.
Blake is silent for a moment, but then he grabs my tiny frame and pulls me into him. He presses his face into my hair and strokes my arm with tender care.
“I’m so sorry you felt like that, Wren. I hate that I was the cause of your pain for so long,” Blake whispers into my ear. “Can I tell you something?”
I lift my head from my cocoon and connect my eyes with his.
“I haven’t felt like I’ve fit into this town without you, either. Every memory, landmark, and road sign in this town was gray without you in my life. I was starting to worry I was going colorblind.”
I smile at his cheesy joke, and he returns my gesture.
“There was a point when I wanted to start fresh again. I looked for vet programs as far away as possible to try and get you out of my head.” Blake stops for a moment, as if the next part is hard to say. “It’s almost like karma is finally catching up with me.”
“Don’t say that,” I beg and cup his face with my hands.
“It’s true. Right when I get you back, I have to fuck it up all over again. Maybe I can push my program back?—”
“No, you’re not going to do that,” I state as I sit up a little straighter. “We’re going to figure this thing out, but that doesn’t mean you sacrificing your dream.”
Blake looks at me and a warm feeling begins crawling up my chest. His eyes bubbling with a feeling that I forgot for a while. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“For giving me another chance,” he says before leaning down to kiss my forehead. He takes his hand and tilts my chin up before leaning his forehead onto mine. “I’m one hundred percent in and I want you to know that.”
Three little words weave their way into my mind at this moment, but I keep them close to my heart for now. I never stopped loving Blake, even if I was lost for a while. I know how I feel, yet it’s hard to say the one thing that’s been gnawing at my brain. I’m scared those words don’t have the power to make everything okay.
I shake the uneasy thoughts from my mind and save them for another day. I bury myself into his arms and hope those little specks of doubt will go away once we figure things out.
* * *
“How’d everything go,” my brother asks when Blake unlatches the trailer.
Images of Blake’s face between my thighs threaten to reveal a guilty shade of red on my face, but I reel it in when Chris’s eyes graze over me.
“Except for the whole breaking down thing, it was a good trip. We got you this,” he says as he reaches in his pocket for the Big Foot keychain we got my brother. Chris has always been a believer in Big Foot, so it was only natural that we snagged him a souvenir.
“No way! I completely forgot the Big Foot convention was this weekend. Damn, I should’ve gone.”
I chime in and say, “what did the doctor say about your leg?”
“What?” Chris questions, forgetting the fib he told to get Blake and I to go to the auction. “Oh shit. Yeah, he said everything looks great.”
I smile at Chris while shaking my head. Doctor’s appointment my ass .
“Well, it looks like you two are getting along better. I guess twenty-four hours trapped together is all it took,” Chris gleams confidently with his hands on his hips.
Blake coughs, choking on the water he’s drinking. My brother shoots him a confused look, but I just laugh to myself.
Chris has no idea how much good it really did do. Little does he know forcing his little sister and best friend to spend time together led to some unsavory exploits that kept us up until all hours of the night.
I know we’ll have to tell Chris about us eventually, but something is telling me he won’t mind. The hard conversation is the one I’ll have to have with Emma. I need to understand why she chose not to tell me about Blake wanting to get back together.
There’s a pit forming in my stomach about all the possibilities, but mostly I’m worried that fixing things with Blake means ruining my friendship with Emma. I need some time, though.
I want to spend time with Blake before we add the complications of our past. I just want to be happy for a little bit longer.
I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, and I smile when I see Blake casually looking at his phone while talking to my brother.
Blake: Meet in the hay barn in five?
Blake smirks at me when my eyes meet his. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth in anticipation and make up a half-hearted excuse before heading toward the barns. I can still hear Chris’s loud voice the farther away I get, and my pulse quickens at the excitement of what could happen away from prying eyes.
As I walk into the large barn full of fresh hay from a recent cut, I think back to the night where a playful game turned into so much more. My hand grazes across bale after bale and I’m brought back to a simpler time when all I cared about was getting Blake away from my brother. Exactly like I’m doing now.
My steps echo against the tall walls of the barn as I anxiously wait for Blake. Soon I hear steps approaching and instead of turning around, I keep my back to him.
Goosebumps spread across my skin when I feel his breath feather the back of my neck. Every time he’s near, my heart races out of control, waiting for his hands to touch me again. My skin jumps when I feel a tender finger caress the back of my arm.
“Remember the last time we were in here, Campbell?” Blake whispers from behind. “This time when I press you up against the wall, I’m not going to stop.”
Soon his fingers are tangled in my hair and my nails are scraping against his back. He takes my mouth onto his, begging to be closer. All I can think about in this moment is I want a lifetime of this feeling.