Chapter 23
CHAPTER 23
T wo weeks. That how long Blake and I had together before he left for his veterinarian program at the University of Wisconsin. We were both worried about what came next, but this time it felt like we could make it work. We needed to try at least.
Anytime that I wasn’t spending with Blake, I was working with the visitor’s bureau. The director was impressed with my portfolio and asked me to plan a social media workshop for the local small businesses. It was a small step, but I was hopeful this opportunity would open the door for connections with other businesses in Honey Grove.
Sheila practically forced me to quit at the Rustic Inn, saying my talents were much better spent elsewhere. I was still running the bar’s social media accounts and website, but now I had more time to focus on growing my clientele.
It felt freeing to finally be excited about work again. Instead of dreading opening my computer to look at boring crap I didn’t care about, I was looking at my own boring crap I decidedly really cared about.
Blake and I were keeping our relationship a secret, but people were catching on quick. One day when I walked into the Rustic Inn, Sheila hugged me for a good five minutes for no reason and told me she was just happy to see me happy.
I also caught my brother staring at Blake and I suspiciously every time we looked at each other for more than five seconds. All he would do when I caught him staring was smile and shake his head in annoyance.
Today I couldn’t care less if I caught people’s wondering gaze. Gripping the steering wheel of my car, I pull my old sedan onto the beat-up dirt path of the creek. Blake and I had made the creek our regular meeting place, breathing some life back into our old stomping grounds.
I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. There’s a sinking feeling in my stomach, but I can’t decide if it’s butterflies or whatever the opposite of butterflies is. Anxiety and desire are the two driving forces behind the time I spent with Blake and all my past insecurities are threatening to spill over into the present.
One of the main things inspiring my anxiety is Emma. I know I have to confront her about what happened six years ago, but I also have to come clean about Blake.
We’d hung out a few times since then, but every time I got up the nerve to talk about everything, I chickened out. I could tell something was weighing heavily on her heart and this time I wanted to be the one to be there for her like she’s always been for me.
I put my car in park next to Blake’s truck and let go of all the worries floating around in my head. This is our safe place, and I’m not about to taint it with the trials and tribulations of the road ahead of us.
Once I’m out of my car, I expect to be greeted by Blake, but he’s nowhere to be found.
“Blake,” I call out as I survey the area.
My breath catches when I hear a familiar tune begin playing from an unknown source. My smile widens when the lyrics to Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton weave their way throughout the small grassy area.
I turn my head and my heart goes into overdrive at the sight of Blake in his old Wranglers and a faded flannel. The man has worn the same combo of clothes for all our lives, yet today my heart skips a beat at the way it reminds me of our love story.
“Would you like to dance, Campbell?” Blake asks with a goofy yet perfect smile on his face.
“Hmm, I don’t know. Are you still a terrible dancer?” I ask cheekily with my arms crossed.
Before there was an us, I remember him asking me to dance in middle school. I told him I was terrified of no one asking me, so he gladly took on the role. I may have left with two swollen feet, but I was just happy to be in his arms.
“Want to find out?” he challenges with one hand reaching out. Not being able to keep from touching him a minute longer, I take his hand gladly. Soon he’s holding me close, and I nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck.
I peel my head from his body long enough to say, “not bad Fisher. Have you been practicing?”
Laughter bubbles up his throat and I relish in the sweet sound.
“Maybe,” Blake replies. “Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to hold you.”
His words send shivers up my spine. I forgot how good it felt to be loved by Blake Fisher.
I return my head to its resting place and let Blake sway me to the sounds of sweet and slow country music humming through the speaker.
After what feels like hours, Blake leads me over his truck and props me up on the tailgate. I wince when he disappears, but quickly rejoice when he reappears with a beer for him and a wine cooler for me.
“Why are you being so sweet?” I say before leaning against his side. The question is meant to be harmless, but I notice his body tense up for a second.
“I want to run an idea past you.”
I sit up at his change of tone. There is still lightheartedness in the air, but with an undertone of seriousness.
“What’s up?”
Blake readjusts his body so he’s fully facing me. I look at him and his eyes have that shade of hopefulness that seems to sparkle under the moonlight of a summer eve. “What would you think about moving to Wisconsin with me?”
The question makes everything hazy like the world stopped spinning for a second. It’s not a crazy ask. I should’ve expected it.
Blake notices my hesitation and fills the silence in the air.
“Obviously not right away. I know we still have a lot we need to catch up on which leads me to my next point,” he reasons before gently rubbing the exposed skin of my midriff. “I was thinking I could start my program next semester. We’d be able to spend some more time together and it would give you time to grow your business before we move. I was thinking you could find some clients in Wisconsin, too! I’m not in any hurry to start and it wouldn’t set me back that much.”
My mouth goes dry from so many things thrown at me at once. I’m not sure what to say.
“What happened to making things work with long distance? Do you not think we can make it work anymore?”
“No, Wren. Ugh, that’s not what I meant,” Blake mumbles before scrubbing his face with his hands. “This past week has reminded me how good it feels to be yours again. I know you have your business now, but I wanted to see if it’s something you’d be open to.”
A wavering smile appears on my face, and I do my best not to reveal the cracks forming in my heart. We’d only been back together for a couple of days, and I’m slowly being reminded of how fragile this still is. “Can I think about it?”
“Of course,” Blake says before leaning over to kiss me on the cheek. “I got us some food. Let me go get it out of the truck.”
As soon as Blake is out of sight, I pull my legs into my body and hold myself tight. The thought of leaving Honey Grove after finally feeling settled for the first time in a long time makes my stomach turn.
I’m starting to build a future here and it doesn’t make sense to move. Even if it didn’t happen in a couple of months. I am terrified.
* * *
“This is going to suck,” I say to myself for the millionth time as I pull down Emma’s driveway. I’m tempted to avoid this conversation altogether, but I need to hear her side of the story. This is one of those things I need to go through to get through.
When I park my car, I spot Emma sunbathing on the front porch. I made sure to time my visit during one of Milo’s naps. That little dude’s sleep schedule is like clockwork. I can only hope for the same luck if I ever have kids.
“Hi,” I say, greeting Emma before plopping down next to her.
I hated confrontation so much my skin literally crawled at the thought. Sometimes I would convince myself everything was okay just to avoid an uncomfortable conversation.
“So, what’s up?” Emma says while sipping her water. “You said you wanted to talk.”
I clear my throat and take a deep breath. Just get it over with , I tell myself as I juggle all the ways I could begin this talk.
“Blake told me about trying to get me back after we broke up.”
Emma hardly reacts to my words. She simply sits up in her chair and smooths out her shorts before turning to me.
“I figured it would come out eventually. Once you two finally gave into each other.”
“Are you clairvoyant or something?” I question before slumping back in my own chair. I should probably be upset Emma kept this small detail to herself all these years, but I’m not. All I want is to understand why she did what she did.
“No,” she says with a lighthearted laugh. “It was only a matter of time. You kept eye fucking the guy every time he was in the same room as you. And you wouldn’t shut up about him all summer. I felt like we were thirteen again and you would spiral if he breathed in your direction.”
Emma gives me a moment to respond, but I stay quiet.
“I don’t hate Blake, Wren. When I told him to get lost six years ago, I felt like I was watching my own life flash before my eyes. When he pulled that ring box out of his pocket, I was terrified you’d have to put your dreams on hold just like I did when Colt proposed.”
My heart stops. Ring box? My hands fly up to my chest, willing my heart to restart itself. My breathing is , and I feel like my head is a cloud ready to float away at any second.
“Oh, shit. He didn’t tell you about the ring, did he?”
I swallow hard. “Nope.”
Suddenly my mind zips back in time to a few months ago when Blake drove me home from the bar. I thought the ring hanging in his mirror was odd, but it never crossed my mind again after he shoved it in his glovebox. I should’ve known by the way he snapped at me, but it didn’t click.
My life would’ve been so different if Emma wouldn’t have stopped him. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.
“I hope you can forgive me. I know it wasn’t my place,” she says pulling me out of my epiphany. “I should’ve told you a long time ago, but it seemed like you were really thriving away from Honey Grove. I didn’t want it to suck you back into this small town. But I think I was projecting my own issues onto you because now that you’re back, you seem so much happier.”
“I do forgive you, Emma. I wish you would’ve told me sooner, but I understand why you didn’t,” I respond while looking down at my own finger now. “I think Blake and I are going to give it another try. The only issue is he’s the one leaving Honey Grove now.”
Emma lifts her head, and her eyes brighten when they meet mine. “Tell me everything,” she says as she pats the seat next to her.
I spend the next twenty minutes clueing Emma in about every single detail and she just sits there and listens. She lets me vent about all my insecurities surrounding our relationship and doesn’t interject once. I’m kicking myself for thinking she’d judge me for going back to Blake. She’s my biggest supporter, even when she doesn’t approve of my decision.
“And now he wants to take a semester off so we can spend more time together. It’s just a lot, really fast,” I finish, finally taking a breath.
“What are you going to do?”
I lean back in my chair and take a sip of the wine Emma placed in my hand a few minutes ago. I’m not sure what I want, but I know I’m not ready to leave Honey Grove. So much time has gone by, yet we’re dealing with the same issue we couldn’t get past before.
“I don’t know. I can’t ask him to do that for me, even if it is his idea. It’s not a great way to start off our second shot at this thing.”
“You’re right,” Emma says, leaning forward. “It’s never a good idea to start a relationship with one person giving up something for the other. It’ll just lead to . . . resentment."
My eyes snap to Emma’s as the word resentment drips off her tongue. In a flash, bits and pieces click into place and I slowly realize my relationship is not the only one in danger of falling apart.
“Can we back up for a minute? What do you mean you put your dreams on hold? I thought you decided not to go back to school because you guys wanted to start a family.”
Emma’s eyes drop down to the ring Colt gave her when they were eighteen. I was too busy going through my own shit to ask her how she felt about the whole thing. A few months later, they had a short and sweet courthouse wedding, and I never heard doubt in her voice again. Until this summer.
“That’s true and I thought that’s what I wanted. Milo is the best thing to ever happen to me. But ever since I became a mom, I feel like that’s my whole identity. I love being his mom, but sometimes I wish I’d taken some time to find myself before settling down. Things between Colt and I haven’t been great and there are times when I feel like Milo is all I have,” she admits with a small teardrop spilling from her eye.
I quickly wrap my arm around Emma and let her rest her head on my shoulder.
“Emma, that’s not true. I know I haven’t been the best friend these past few years, but I’m here now. You’ve always been there for me, and I want to be there for you.”
“You’re not mad at me?” Emma says between sniffles.
“No. I wish you would’ve told me all this sooner, but it was for the best. If Blake would’ve proposed, my dumbass would’ve said yes. There are times when I wish things would’ve worked out, but then I realize how much I’ve changed these past six years. I’m not the same girl that fell in love with Blake when we were kids, and neither is he. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I’m done letting the past take up so much room in my mind.”
I squeeze Emma close to me as she continues to cry. I can feel tears of my own threatening to spill over, but I hold it together for her. She’s been my rock for so long and it’s time for me to take on that role.
“Now tell me what’s been going on with you and Colt.”