Hook, Line and Single

Chapter 10

10

‘Are you ready to explore our new home?’ Sam practically sings as I open the door to her a little while later.

‘You might not live that long,’ I growl, shoving the open booklet with my bio at her. ‘What the bloody hell is this?’

To my amazement, she’s totally unrepentant as she takes the booklet and studies the bio. ‘I’m rather pleased with that, actually.’

‘ Pleased? Apart from the fact that it’s without a doubt the most cringeworthy description of me I’ve ever seen, it has no business whatsoever being there. Fiercely independent? Raven-haired curvy beauty? You make me sound like a cross between an ogre and a stripper!’

‘It was a condition of being in the group, so I had to do it. Did you like the way I took your words and spiced them up? It’s basically everything you told me only, you know, better.’

‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt so objectified.’

‘Why? I might have mentioned your physical attributes, but most of it was about your personality.’

I take the booklet back. ‘Yeah, about that. A sharp, sassy chick who will swiftly cut you down to size? Still making me sound like a monster.’

‘You are sassy though, and you don’t take any nonsense. I played up that it was worth spending time to get to know you; didn’t you like that bit at least?’

I soften a little. ‘Yeah, I guess that bit wasn’t too bad.’

‘Anyway,’ she tells me, sensing a chink in my armour, ‘it doesn’t matter, because I put you down for an amber badge, so people know you’re not immediately in the market.’

‘Let’s be very clear on one thing, Sam,’ I tell her firmly. ‘I’m not in the market at all . In fact, as soon as I see Orange Barry, I’m going to swap my badge for a red one.’

‘He’ll be at the Singles Mingle. You can swap it then.’

‘Nice try, but wild horses wouldn’t drag me to that. I’ve decided to go to the sail away party instead.’

‘Really? I was hoping you’d be my wing woman and general jerk filter.’

‘Uh-uh. You don’t deserve a wing woman. You’ve brought this completely on yourself.’

I can sense her trying to decide whether to push me any further, before she wisely decides that it’s probably a bad idea.

‘Shall we explore then?’ she says. ‘We’ve got an hour before departure.’

Despite my irritation with her, I’m still excited about the holiday, so I plaster on a smile. ‘Why not?’ I reply.

* * *

It’s fair to say that, even with the maps provided and all the signs, Sam and I struggled to find our way around to begin with. However, after a few wrong turns and dead ends, we started to get the hang of it and, by the time we made it back to our cabins, we were getting fairly confident. The high point of the tour, for me, was our visit to the concierge desks. Although they were still busy, an idea had struck me as we’d arrived in the grand lobby, and I’d dragged Sam over with me.

‘What are you doing?’ she’d asked.

‘I’m going to find out which is the most expensive restaurant on this ship, and then you’re going to book a table and buy me dinner as an apology for setting me up like this.’

She’d smiled. ‘Actually, that seems perfectly reasonable. Lead on.’

In the end, the most expensive restaurant was not only ludicrously beyond our budget, but we’d both agreed, from studying the menu, that it wasn’t our kind of thing anyway. Instead, Sam had booked us into the Italian one, which we both liked the look of very much. We’ve also booked onto a tour of Pompeii tomorrow, as it seemed easier than organising it ourselves. Finally, we picked up a booklet with the details of all the other shore excursions so we can compare them to my own plans and decide which is better. I’m still convinced that Sam is going to drop me like a hot brick as soon as she spots someone that takes her fancy, but she’s adamant that we’ll do all the port excursions together. We’re now leaning over my balcony, watching the flurry of activity below as the ship gets ready to depart. When the last ropes are released, the ship gently starts to ease away from the quay and we enthusiastically join in with the cheering we can hear coming from the other balconies. As it noses out into the channel leading to the open sea, there’s a deafening blast from the horn, which makes both of us jump.

‘Right,’ Sam says as Civitavecchia recedes slowly from sight. ‘I’ve got a party to get to. Are you sure you’ll be OK on your own until dinner?’

I’m too excited to be cross with her any more. ‘I’ll be fine,’ I tell her with a smile. ‘Go and have fun. What time do you want to meet?’

‘Eight o’clock at the main dining room?’ she suggests.

‘I’ll be there.’

‘Thank you, Ruby.’ Her tone is suddenly serious.

‘For what?’

‘For not totally losing your shit with me.’

I grin. ‘There are ten days of this cruise. Plenty of time.’

‘Nah,’ she replies. ‘The worst is over. It’s going to be a blast from here.’

‘Actually, that reminds me. I have a question before you go.’

‘Of course. What’s up?’

‘Do I know everything now?’

‘Absolutely. No more surprises. Or if there are, they’ll only be nice ones.’

Having studied the Scandia Cruises dress code, which requests gentlemen wear smart casual clothing after 6p.m. but doesn’t actually tell you what that means for women, I’ve changed into one of my dresses so, having given Sam a quick hug, I head towards the pool deck where the sail away party is being held. Although the sun has dropped, it’s still warm up here and there’s a convivial atmosphere. A band is playing and people are standing around, chatting and drinking. The bar is well staffed so, even though there’s a bit of a queue, it doesn’t take me long to get a drink and I wander over to the railing with it. The ship is starting to pick up speed now, and the seagulls are diving into the foaming wake, evidently hoping the disturbance of the water will bring some fishy treats to the surface.

It’s truly idyllic up here, but I’m very conscious of being alone. Everyone else is either in couples or groups of some kind. A burst of laughter from my left catches my ear and I turn to see where it came from. A man who appears to be in his late sixties is regaling his companions with a story. His face is flushed and they’re all listening attentively, laughing uproariously when he evidently reaches the punchline. My focus shifts to a couple behind them; she’s wearing an elegant, full-length dark blue dress and he’s in pale chinos with a dark blue shirt open at the neck. They’re holding champagne glasses and chatting quietly. As I watch, he slips his arm around her lower back and bends to kiss her. It’s a lingering kiss, not showy or vulgar, but enough to signal to anyone watching that they are a couple very much in love. As they break apart, she smiles widely and chinks her glass against his. I find myself studying their hands, trying to work out if they’re newlyweds or maybe recently engaged. He’s definitely not wearing a ring, and her left hand is obscured by her body so, after a while, I give up and return my gaze to the sea.

‘ è una bella vista, vero? ’ a voice says next to me. I turn to see a man who I’d guess is in his late forties. His tanned face sits beneath dark shiny hair that’s slicked back and, despite the fading light, his eyes are invisible behind his dark glasses. He must have bathed in his floral aftershave, because the scent is almost overpowering.

‘I’m sorry, were you talking to me?’ I ask.

‘Oh, you are English,’ he replies, switching languages. ‘My apologies, you looked Italian. I couldn’t help noticing that you seemed to be alone, and I asked myself, “Guido, why is such a beautiful woman on her own?” I was curious, so I had to come and find out. Tell me, what is your name?’

‘Ruby, and I’m not alone,’ I stammer quickly. ‘I’m, aah, with a group.’

‘A group?’ He seems amused. ‘Where is this group? I have been watching you since you arrived and I did not see any group.’

‘They’re in a room downstairs, having a party,’ I explain while desperately trying to give off ‘please leave me alone’ vibes. I know I was feeling a bit isolated before, but I’d prefer that to being chatted up by Guido.

‘It must be a very boring party if you would rather be up here on your own,’ he observes, moving his hand along the rail so it’s resting against mine.

‘It’s not a boring party, actually,’ I tell him firmly, moving my hand away. ‘I just came up here because I wanted a breath of fresh air. I’m going back to join them in a minute.’

‘Ah, the movement of the boat, it is making you ill, yes? You will get used to it. You just need something to, how do you say, make you think of something else.’

‘A distraction,’ I say automatically, unable to resist offering the correct word.

‘A distraction,’ he repeats. ‘Exactly. Guido will help to distract you, yes?’ He smiles to reveal teeth so white and even that they must be veneers. Once again, he moves his hand along the rail, this time covering mine completely and leaving me in little doubt about what kind of distraction he has in mind. I think not.

‘I’m not seasick, and I don’t need distracting, thank you,’ I tell him in my frostiest voice as I yank my hand out from underneath his. ‘In fact, I think I’m going to go and rejoin my friends now. Goodnight, Guido.’

If he’s picked up on my tone, he chooses to ignore it as he seizes my hand again, this time lifting it to his lips and kissing it before letting it drop.

‘ Buonanotte, bellissima ,’ he murmurs. ‘I look forward to seeing you again very soon, Ruby.’

As I hurry away, my first priority is to find somewhere to wash my hands. Some of Guido’s aftershave must have transferred onto them as I can still smell him as I go indoors. The barely perceptible movement of the boat might not be a problem, but his scent is definitely making me feel queasy. Having scrubbed my hands furiously in the nearest ladies’, I’m now presented with a dilemma. There’s still three quarters of an hour before I’m due to meet Sam for dinner and, although this ship has no shortage of other bars, my experience with Guido has made me wary. I pull out the map from my handbag and locate the Nautilus lounge. I know I said wild horses wouldn’t drag me to the Singles Mingle, but at least Sam will be there.

‘It’s our missing traveller!’ Orange Barry cries in delight when I arrive. ‘Although you haven’t got your badge with you, tut tut.’

‘I forgot it, sorry. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. Can I swap it for a red one, please?’

His eyes widen. ‘Really? You’ve found someone already? Who is it?’

‘No, I haven’t found anyone. I’m just not in the market.’

He tilts his head quizzically. ‘But you signed up for the Friends of Marco Polo.’

‘Technically, I didn’t,’ I explain. ‘My friend Sam signed me up without my knowledge.’

‘But you’re single, yes?’

‘Yes.’

‘Phew. That really would have been an awkward conversation. We take a dim view of infiltrators.’ He smiles conspiratorially as he says it, but I can’t help thinking he’s actually being serious.

‘So what would have happened if I’d actually been in a relationship?’ I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.

‘That would make you ineligible for our group, and you’d be charged the full single occupancy of a double cabin supplement,’ he says, this time leaving me in no doubt that he means it.

‘Just as well I’m single then, isn’t it. But I’m really not looking for a relationship, Barry, so can I just have a red badge please?’

He changes to a sorrowful expression that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘Sorry, sweetie,’ he says. ‘My group, my rules. You only get a red badge if you’ve coupled up exclusively with someone else in the group. Here’s an amber one. Try to remember to bring it in future. I have got lots, but it’s not an inexhaustible supply. Now, go and meet people. I’ve reserved some tables in the main restaurant for us all, so you’ve got plenty of time to get to know someone.’

I may have already had a glass of wine at the sail away party, but something tells me this is going to be a long evening, so I make my way over to the bar to get a drink. On the way, I spot Sam deep in conversation with a man, although his attention seems to be focused more on her chest than her face, from what I can see. No sooner have I secured a glass of wine than I’m approached by another member of the group, who I notice is wearing a green badge.

‘Hi, I’m Brad,’ he says in a broad American accent, holding out his hand. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not coming on to you. What’s your name?’

‘Ruby,’ I say politely.

‘And whereabouts are you from, Ruby?’

‘The UK. Kent.’

‘I know Kent. I’m from California, but I live in London at the moment. I’m an expert in distribution centres, so my work takes me all over. Before London, I was in Australia for six months. Have you ever been?’

‘No, sorry.’

Brad doesn’t appear daunted by my lack of travel experience, and I gently tune him out as he begins to tell me about all the places he’s visited. After a while, I notice Sam detaching herself from the chest-staring guy and start scanning the room. When she notices me, she beams and comes straight over.

‘Ruby!’ she exclaims, cutting Brad off mid-flow. ‘I wasn’t expecting to see you until dinner, but I’m so glad you’re here.’ She takes my arm and turns to Brad. ‘I hope you’ll excuse us for a moment, Brad.’

If Brad is disappointed, he’s doing a good job of hiding it. ‘Of course. I’ll see you around, Ruby.’

I can safely say that I’ve never been more delighted to see Sam, and I happily link my arm with hers as we stroll over to an unoccupied table in the corner of the room.