Chapter 16
16
‘Did you always want to be a policeman?’ I ask Cameron. Since winning Barry’s Bonanza, we’ve fallen into the habit of eating breakfast early and heading out to explore, before returning mid-afternoon to laze by the pool with a cold drink. Yesterday was Sardinia and we’re in Mallorca today.
‘God, no!’ He laughs. ‘I wanted to be a Formula One racing driver, obviously.’
‘Really? Why?’
‘Probably something to do with all the glamorous locations, the beautiful women and the money.’
‘Interesting. I didn’t have you down as that shallow.’
‘Oh, come on. Relaxing on my mega yacht in Monte Carlo before driving to an incredible win and celebrating with a supermodel? What’s shallow about that?’
‘I can’t think. Anyway, what stopped you?’
‘Tiny, frustrating little details. It turns out you need to be able to drive really fast, and you also need a killer instinct.’
‘And that’s not you?’
‘I’m not really the competitive type.’
‘I can see that might hold you back. What about Premier League football? I admit that Manchester can’t really compare with Monte Carlo, but there’s still plenty of money there, and most of the players have glamorous girlfriends.’
‘I do play football, actually.’
‘There you go then.’
‘I think it’s probably too big a leap from the Emergency Services Football League to the Premier division, but thank you for the careers advice. I’ll bear it in mind.’
‘So how did the police come about?’
‘Very boringly. They had a stand at a careers fair I went to, I got chatting to them and thought it sounded interesting. What about you? Did you always know you wanted to own a bookshop?’
‘No. I knew I wanted to work with books, but my initial plan was to become a librarian.’
‘What stopped you?’
‘I realised I’d have no control. I would have been totally at the mercy of the local authority and whatever spending priorities they had. Unsurprisingly, libraries are fairly low on the list and don’t get a lot of funding. Then I met Jono, my business partner. His big passion is rare and antique books, so we decided to combine the two things and open our business. I mean, it wasn’t quite as simple as that as we had to raise capital and persuade the bank that our business proposal was viable, but you get the picture.’
‘Aren’t you at risk from the big players though, like Amazon?’
‘There’s just enough room for us both to co-exist. Yes, Amazon has the lion’s share of the market, but there are still a surprising number of people who prefer to browse in a bricks-and-mortar bookshop. Do you know, I’ve got customers who come in just because they love the smell of the books? You can’t get that online. Plus, I like to think we offer exceptional customer service and a mean cup of coffee, as well as the opportunity to meet the handsomest cat in all of Margate.’
‘The famous Samson.’
‘Exactly. You’d be surprised how many people drop by just to see him and end up buying a book or two while they’re there. He’s a master of upselling. Thank goodness he doesn’t charge commission, or he’d cost us a fortune. Why guns?’
‘Sorry?’
‘Why become a firearms officer rather than, say, a detective?’
‘That’s easy.’ He smiles. ‘A lot of detective work is really, really dull. You’ve got to have a passion for the minutiae and get excited about forensics. Plus, most policing is irregular hours because criminals are selfish and don’t work a nine-to-five schedule. One of the things I love about my role is that I generally get to work fairly regular hours and most of the people I deal with are law-abiding citizens. As long as they stay in the right hands and are properly secured, guns don’t pose any risk to the public.’
‘Really? Every time I see a news article about another school shooting, I can’t help thinking they should be outlawed altogether.’
‘I agree that there’s no justification for members of the public to own assault rifles or weapons of that nature. But some of the shotguns, particularly the ones that have been handed down through the generations, they’re literally works of art, with beautiful engraving and exquisite workmanship. Guns like that tend not to pose a risk unless the owners fail to lock them up properly and they get stolen. We’re very strict with owners about how they store, transport and use their guns for that very reason.’
Our conversation is interrupted by a very flustered-looking Sam. I haven’t seen that much of her since I told her about Cameron and me. We did have dinner together as a four but, although Robin was perfectly charming and polite, I found the way that Sam kept simpering at him a little off-putting. She’s also not an early riser when she’s on holiday, so we’ve only really met up at the Marco Polo socials. If I’m brutally honest, I’m still a little annoyed with her for being so high-and-mighty when I told her about Cameron and me, so her opening remark gets my hackles up a little.
‘Ruby, I need you. Now,’ she barks.
‘Umm. I’m actually in the middle of talking to Cameron,’ I reply mildly. ‘Can it wait?’
‘No. I’m in full-on crisis mode and I need my best friend this instant. It’s an emergency, for God’s sake.’
‘Has someone died?’
‘No.’
‘Is anyone critically ill?’
‘No. Why are you being so obtuse?’
‘Because I’m trying to ascertain what on earth could be so important that it requires me to abandon my tour buddy and this rather delicious drink.’
‘It’s Robin.’
‘Has he had an accident?’
‘No, of course not.’
‘You haven’t fallen out with him, have you?’
‘No. Well, not exactly. I’ve found out what his job is.’
‘OK. Unless it’s something highly illegal or Mafia related, I’m still not getting emergency vibes. Why don’t you get yourself a drink from the bar, catch your breath and then fill us in.’
‘It is a bloody emergency. You’ll understand when I tell you.’
‘Get a drink first. Go on. Shoo.’
Reluctantly, she turns and heads for the bar.
‘Why wouldn’t you just let her tell you?’ Cameron enquires when she’s safely out of earshot.
‘Because this holiday has been all about her so far,’ I tell him. ‘Why should I drop everything and come running because she’s found out what her boyfriend’s job is? I mean, how bad can it be? He’s probably an accountant or something completely harmless, and she’s just got herself in a stew because it’s not the swanky career she imagined. She’s prone to drama, so hopefully giving her a simple task will calm her down a little.’
After a minute or so, Sam returns with a glass of white wine the size of a goldfish bowl and plonks herself on the end of my sun lounger.
‘Right. Take a deep breath, have a mouthful of wine, and then tell us what the problem is,’ I say to her.
To my surprise, she gulps down nearly half the liquid before she speaks. ‘He’s a vicar,’ she says baldly.
‘What?’ I ask in surprise. None of the options playing around in my head had come close to that.
‘You heard. He’s a fucking vicar, Ruby. I mean, only I could pull off something like this, right? I swear off preachy church people and promptly start dating someone who’s not only a church person, but preaching is literally his job. He should have been upfront with me, not drop it on me when I’m already falling for him. This is so fucking unfair.’
‘I can understand why he didn’t want to tell you,’ Cameron observes mildly. ‘I mean, he said that people tended to judge him because of what he does for a living and, I hope you don’t mind me being direct, but that’s kind of what you’re doing, isn’t it?’
Sam glares at him.
‘Cameron’s got a point,’ I add hastily before she says anything regrettable. ‘He wanted you to get to know him as a person, without the vicar stuff getting in the way. Is that so wrong? I mean, you’re falling for him as a person, and the fact that he’s a vicar doesn’t actually change that, does it? He’s still the same guy.’
‘Yes, but it can’t work, can it? I mean, I’m not religious. And there’s the whole “no sex before marriage” thing that his sort are so hot on. No wonder he kept slowing me down. I should have realised why. God, I’m such a fool.’ She takes another big swig of wine and lowers her forehead into her palm. ‘I even told him about some of my past relationships. He must think I’m such a slut.’
‘OK, stop,’ I tell her firmly. ‘Let’s go back and unpick this properly before you turn it into a spiral of doom. When did he tell you?’
‘Lunchtime. We were at this tiny restaurant sharing a delicious paella , and he said, “Sam, I think it’s time you knew what my job is. I told you I lived in Dorking, and that’s true. I’m actually the vicar of three small churches just outside the town.”’
‘And what did you say?’
‘I didn’t know what to say. For a moment, I wondered if he was joking, but I could tell from his expression that he wasn’t. I just said, “Oh.”’
‘Hm. How did he react to that?’
‘He asked if I had any questions. He told me about how he’d felt called during his final year at university, and a bit about the selection process and stuff. It was surreal. He made it sound so normal and banal, but all the time I was freaking out inside. Anyway, I tried to keep my poker face on until we got back to the ship, and then I came to find you.’
‘I still don’t get what’s so wrong with being a vicar,’ Cameron observes.
‘Sam had a bad experience in a church recently. I’ll tell you later,’ I explain before turning back to her. ‘OK. Let’s put this in context, shall we? I think we can understand why he didn’t tell you from the outset, but why do you think he decided to tell you now?’
‘I don’t know,’ she says miserably. ‘Because God hates me and wants to ruin my life at every turn?’ She puts on a deep booming voice. ‘Here you are, Sam. Here’s the prize you could have won if you’d saved yourself for marriage.’
‘Has he said anything about your past? I mean, you’ve admitted that you’ve told him.’
‘No, nothing.’
‘But if he’d had a problem with it, don’t you think he would have found a way to distance himself from you, rather than sharing more?’
‘Maybe he sees me as a project. He earns brownie points from God by helping me to find the Lord and turn my life around.’
‘I don’t think he’d be kissing you the way he has been if that was his plan. There would be all sorts of ethical problems with that. Has he placed any religious expectations on you? Now that he’s told you, is he expecting you to pray with him, for example?’
‘No. He was just the same as he’s always been.’
‘Right,’ I tell her. ‘So he’s the same Robin who wasn’t bothered by the fact that you’ve had boyfriends before and isn’t expecting you to turn into some kind of nun overnight. You’re clearly keen on each other, so what’s the problem?’
‘How do we take this into the real world, for starters? I mean, church is his whole life and I’m not churchy at all. And if we’re not going to take this into the real world, what’s the point of carrying on?’
‘I’d suggest that’s something you need to talk to him about. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like he’s not that bothered about whether you’re churchy or not. He just likes you for who you are. Maybe that’s enough. Has he had girlfriends in the past?’
‘Yes, but not since he started training for the priesthood.’
‘So, for all you know, he might have an even more colourful past than yours.’
‘I doubt his past has Threesome Pete in it.’
‘Neither does yours, technically. Pete falls into the category of “lucky escape”. I’ll bet you Robin’s got a few stories like that as well. Ferocious women with their eyes on being Mrs Robin and ruling the vicarage with a rod of iron.’
This does finally raise a glimmer of a smile. ‘I doubt any of them would be sexual deviants though.’
‘You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Now, go and talk to him. He’s probably worried sick that he’s spooked you and ruined everything.’
She drains the last of her wine and stands up. ‘You’re right. Thanks, Ruby. You’re the best, has anyone ever told you that?’
I smile back at her. ‘You may have mentioned it once or twice.’
‘Can I make an observation?’ Cameron says once she’s gone. ‘It seems to me that you’re often a rather better friend to Sam than she is to you.’
‘She’s usually better than this,’ I explain. ‘But when she falls for someone, she falls hard. Controversially, I think Robin could be quite good for her. She’s dated some real dickheads lately, and I don’t think you’re allowed to be a dickhead if you’re a vicar, are you?’
As we finish our drinks and head inside to get changed for whatever Barry has lined up for us this evening, my mind is very much focused on the conversation I hope Sam and Robin are having. If he’s opening up to her, that must be a good sign, mustn’t it? I just hope she doesn’t panic and ruin everything.