Chapter 15
15
‘Before we get into the second half of our speed dating, I’m very excited to announce that we have another brand-new couple, courtesy of last night’s prize!’ Barry yells once we’re all assembled for our daily social in the Nautilus room. He’s been positively overflowing with joy since Cameron and I quietly asked to swap our amber badges for red ones.
Since getting them, we’ve been carefully skulking at the back of the room, out of Sam’s eyeline. To be fair, she’s been so engrossed with Robin I think we could have set a bomb off in here and she wouldn’t have noticed, but Barry’s announcement has evidently piqued her interest, as I can see her scanning the room to see if she can spot the new couple.
‘Ruby and Cameron, step forward, please,’ Barry calls. Cameron takes my hand in his and, for a moment, I’m frozen in confusion. It’s a long time since I’ve held a man’s hand and this is the first physical contact we’ve had. It’s not unpleasant at all; in fact, it’s rather nice. It’s just odd and it takes me a minute to adjust to the sensation. As we make our way over to join Barry, I meet Sam’s gaze. To my delight, her eyes are wide in confusion, and I can’t help flashing her a winning smile.
‘I have to tell you, ladies and gentlemen,’ Barry coos as we join him in the middle of the room, ‘that this is a first for me. In all my years of running these groups, I’ve never had two amber badges get together like this. In fact, I’ll go further and bet you that none of my fellow Marco Polo coordinators has had this happen either. It just goes to show that nothing is impossible where love is concerned. Guys, why don’t you share your story with the group?’
I glance at Cameron, who grins mischievously at me and murmurs, ‘Ladies first.’
‘I’m not sure that was in the plan,’ I whisper back.
‘Wing it.’
I can feel Sam’s eyes boring into me, and that’s enough to give me the impetus I need.
‘Well, Barry,’ I begin. ‘As you’ll know, I made no secret of the fact that I wasn’t looking for love when I joined the cruise. My best friend Sam over there made the bookings and curiously neglected to tell me that we were going to be part of this group. However, once I’d got over the initial shock, I decided to make the most of it, and that’s when I met Cameron. We toured Messina together and I thought we’d become friends, but then we had last night’s speed dating and I realised it could be more, so I wrote his name on my card and we were lucky enough to win Barry’s Bonanza. The rest is history.’
Barry looks like he’s going to explode with delight. ‘And what about you, Cameron?’
‘Oh, I spotted Ruby on the very first night, at the Singles Mingle event, but I was too shy to talk to her. However, when I saw her friend Sam get matched with Robin at the Blind Date evening, I realised it would leave Ruby on her own, and that gave me the courage to approach her. Like her, I didn’t imagine that it would lead to anything more than friendship, someone to spend time with, but I think last night’s speed dating and the time we spent together today was a revelation to both of us. We’ve had a brilliant time, thanks to your prize, and I’m very excited to see where this might lead.’
‘Aww, you guys are totally made for each other. Have you had a chance to talk about the future and how that might work for you both?’
‘It’s a bit early to be talking too much about the future, Barry,’ I admonish him. ‘But Cameron and I are both based in Kent so distance isn’t likely to be an issue, at least.’
I’m so good I’m almost convincing myself. As long as I keep my gaze away from Sam, I reckon I can pull this off. I give Cameron’s hand an encouraging squeeze and, to my delight, he returns it.
‘Well, I’m absolutely thrilled for you both,’ Barry says so warmly that, for a second, I feel bad about the deception. I give myself a mental shake and remind myself that I didn’t consent to this, so I’m perfectly within my rights to do whatever is necessary. ‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ Barry calls, ‘let’s give a huge round of applause to our newest couple, Ruby and Cameron! Why don’t you give us a kiss?’
Before I know what’s happening, Cameron has lowered his head to mine so our foreheads are touching. ‘OK?’ he whispers and, after a brief moment of hesitation, I nod. As our lips meet, my initial surprise at the sensation quickly gives way to something else. I know it’s not a ‘real’ kiss, that we’re merely putting on a show for Barry, Sam and Ashleigh, but it’s still very intimate. As he pulls away, I can feel my mouth tingling slightly from his stubble as it turns up into a smile. Sam’s eyes are out on stalks, I realise, which only increases my pleasure.
‘I thought we weren’t into PDA,’ I murmur to Cameron.
‘Just giving Barry what he wanted,’ he replies, his mouth also curved into a smile.
As soon as Barry releases us back into the group, I sense Sam detaching herself from Robin and, sure enough, she makes a beeline for me, grabbing my free hand.
‘Cameron,’ she asks in a voice so saccharine it could give the sugar plum fairy diabetes, ‘would you mind very much if I stole Ruby away, just for a second or two?’
I’m aware of Cameron tightening his grip and, for a moment, I wonder whether this is going to turn into some weird tug of war between them, with me as the rope.
‘I won’t be a minute, I promise,’ I say to him as I gently extricate my hand from his. Realising just in time that I need to make this look authentic, I reach up and give him another quick kiss, catching a whiff of his citrussy aftershave as I do.
‘What the actual fuck, Ruby?’ Sam asks as soon as we’re out of earshot of the rest of the group.
‘Nice to see you too,’ I reply sarcastically. Cameron and I may be faking it, but I’m still a little taken aback by her ferocity.
‘Don’t get me wrong,’ she continues, oblivious to my reaction, ‘I’m delighted for you both, but who are you and what have you done with my best friend? You know, the one who always says she doesn’t want a relationship and she’s fine as she is.’
‘I changed my mind,’ I say simply.
‘No. Changing your mind is deciding to have strawberry ice cream instead of chocolate. This is seismic. You know how it always makes the news for days if a government makes a U-turn? This is even bigger than that. How come you never said anything to me? I’m a little pissed off that I had to find out from Barry.’
‘This is the first I’ve seen of you since breakfast,’ I remind her.
She sighs. ‘That’s a fair point. How did it happen though? Come on. Spill the beans.’
‘There’s not much to tell. We’ve spent some time together; I like him and he likes me. It’s hardly rocket science, Sam.’
She narrows her eyes suspiciously. ‘Bullshit. I know you, remember, and it would take a lot more than him just being a nice guy to persuade you to ditch your “there’s nothing a man can give me that I can’t get from Samson or my vibrator” mantra. What is it? Is he a secret millionaire? Does he have a degree from the university of how to give better sex than the XCite 3000 multispeed?’
‘He’s just a nice, genuine guy. And, unlike Robin, he’s not secretive about what he does for a living.’
‘Harsh, but again fair. What does he do?’
‘He’s in the police.’ I decide not to elaborate on the firearms bit as I’m not sure I understand it well enough to explain.
‘Oho!’ She laughs. ‘So that’s what it is.’
‘What?’
‘You’ve had your head turned by the thought of him in uniform, wielding his impressive truncheon. Get Alexa to play “You Can Leave Your Hat On” by Tom Jones, and let the striptease commence.’
‘You have a very dirty mind, has anyone ever told you that?’
‘Why, thank you.’ She curtseys playfully. ‘I’m hoping the two of you are going to give me something to focus it on. So, come on. Give me all the details. I want to know everything .’
I sigh. This has gone as far as I can take it. Much as I’ve enjoyed winding Sam up and I want to get her back for abandoning me, I’m not cut out for extensive deception, I realise.
‘Full disclosure?’
‘Full disclosure. Leave nothing out.’
‘Promise you won’t tell Barry.’
‘What’s it got to do with him? His work is done. You’ve literally made his year.’
‘Promise.’
‘Fine.’
‘We’re not a real couple.’
‘What?’
‘It was Cameron’s idea. Go red as a couple and get everyone off our backs.’
I watch as she digests this new information and, to my surprise, her expression changes to one of outrage.
‘So you’re saying that you and Cameron are faking this whole thing?’
‘Yes.’
‘But…’ she splutters, temporarily lost for words.
‘We aren’t committing a crime, Sam. Everybody wins. We can gracefully drop out of the cringey dating games and Barry gets his happy ending.’
‘Bollocks,’ she spits. ‘You fraudulently took a prize that was meant for a real couple, and that’s a crime. I bet you’ve been having a right old laugh, haven’t you. “Look at the stupid romantics trying to find love. Let’s just cheat instead.” I know you made me promise, but I’ve got a good mind to tell Barry exactly what you’ve done.’
‘We haven’t been having a laugh at anyone’s expense, Sam,’ I tell her firmly, feeling annoyed myself now. ‘If anyone here’s behaved fraudulently, it’s you by signing me up for this without my consent, before promptly buggering off and leaving me to cope with it on my own.’
‘That’s not fair!’
‘Isn’t it? Look, I’m really pleased that you and Robin have found each other, and I hope he turns out to be Mr Right and you have football teams of rosy-cheeked children together, but don’t you dare come for me when all I’m trying to do is make the best of the situation you’ve dumped me in.’
This is enough to take the wind out of her sails, and her defiant expression crumples. ‘I’ve been a shit friend on this cruise, haven’t I?’
‘It’s not been your finest hour,’ I admit.
‘I think I just over-reacted because I wanted it to be true,’ she observes eventually. ‘I’m sad now, because I was genuinely excited to think you might have met someone. It looked so natural when he kissed you.’
‘Sorry to disappoint you.’
She wraps me in a big hug. ‘You could never disappoint me,’ she murmurs into my ear. ‘I was just hopeful, for a moment.’
‘You’re such an incurable romantic.’
‘It’s a fair cop.’ She laughs. ‘Cop, geddit?’
We hug for a while longer before she releases me and looks me in the eye. ‘What’s the plan, Ruby?’ she asks.
‘How do you mean?’
‘Now that you’ve come out in public, you’re going to have to maintain the charade. Have you thought about that?’
‘I’m sure we’ll manage. It’s not like we have our tongues permanently down each other’s throats.’
‘Why don’t we spend the day together tomorrow as a four?’ she suggests eagerly. ‘You could get to know Robin and I can grill Cameron about his intentions for my best friend.’
‘He doesn’t have any intentions, and I don’t think playing gooseberry to the two of you is on our sightseeing list. How’s it going, anyway?’
As I hoped, she seizes on the opportunity to fill me in. ‘Things have moved on a little,’ she says with a smile.
‘Which means?’
‘Well, he’s an amazing kisser, let’s just say that.’
‘That’s good.’
‘We’re taking things slowly though. It’s a little bit frustrating, because he got me all revved up with all this incredible kissing, but when I started to try to move things on, he slowed it right down.’
‘Hm. What’s that about, do you think?’
‘I don’t know. I did get a bit upset actually, because I thought maybe he didn’t fancy me as much as I fancy him.’
‘Did you ask him about it?’
‘Yeah. He said he’s totally into me but wants to get to know me more before we let a physical relationship get in the way.’
‘Get in the way? Of what? Surely the whole point of getting naked together is that there’s nothing in the way.’
She sighs. ‘I’m not sure. He says he wants us to know each other fully as people before we know each other intimately. It’s actually kind of hot, in a weird way.’
‘Maybe he’s got a point. Keep him on ice until he lets on what he does for work. It would be awful to go to bed with him and then find out he’s a professional kitten strangler or something.’
‘I don’t think that’s an actual job.’
‘You know what I mean.’
Her expression lights up again. ‘If you’re not going to spend the day with us tomorrow, have dinner with us at least?’
‘I’ll have to ask Cameron. Thinking of which, we should go back in before he thinks I’ve been kidnapped and raises the alarm.’
As I follow her back into the hubbub of the Nautilus lounge, I reflect on our conversation, particularly on the need to keep up the pretence that Cameron and I are in a real relationship. Maybe I should have thought this through more carefully before saying yes to his suggestion. Oh well, it can’t be changed now, and I do trust him. How hard can it be?