Hook, Line and Single

Chapter 30

TWO YEARS LATER

‘Are you ready, Ruby? We need to hit the road if we’re going to be on time,’ Cameron’s voice calls from outside the bathroom.

‘Two minutes,’ I call back as I apply the finishing touches of make-up. ‘Have you sorted Samson?’

‘He’s fed, watered and, I suspect, gone off to annoy Jono in the shop.’

By the time Sam moved out to marry Robin a year ago, Cameron was spending so much time at the flat with us that asking him to move in officially felt like a mere formality. It’s taken a while for him to sell his house in Maidstone, but it finally completed a month ago, so we’re starting to look for somewhere a little larger, perhaps with a proper garden for Samson, not that he’ll appreciate it. I’m not sure he’s actually noticed that Sam has gone as Cameron is definitely his favourite human being these days. I try not to be put out about that fact, but his lack of loyalty does rankle from time to time.

‘I do get why Robin does these things on a Saturday,’ I say as I shut the car door behind me, ‘but it really doesn’t suit those of us who work in retail.’

‘Relax. Em knows what she’s doing, and it was very nice of her to give up a day of her precious weekend to help you out.’

‘You’re right. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound grumpy.’

‘I think she enjoys it, particularly when Charlie’s abroad like he is at the moment. It’s got to be better than rattling around in their flat with nothing except marking to do.’

I smile. ‘I still can’t believe she’s a teacher. She was always the class clown at school, according to Mum.’

‘Poachers often make the best gamekeepers.’

‘What?’

‘If you want someone to understand the way the naughty children think, you need someone who was a naughty child themselves.’

‘Mm. She still seems to have a unique talent for winding Mum and Dad up, so she hasn’t completely changed her spots.’

We settle into a comfortable silence as Cameron turns onto the dual carriageway. This is a journey we’ve become familiar with over the last few months. Normally, we travel up on a Saturday evening and return after lunch on Sunday, but there’s a special event on today.

‘How many couples did Sam say there were going to be?’ Cameron asks as we turn off the motorway, following signs for Dorking.

‘Four, including us. The others are all local though.’

‘I know I say this every time, but it is a hell of a trek, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, but we’ve only got to do it twice more after this.’

‘You’ve been counting down.’

‘Haven’t you?’

He smiles. ‘Maybe.’

The vicarage door is open when we pull onto the drive, so we walk straight through to the kitchen, where we find Sam sitting at the table with a cup of tea. As soon as she spots us, she starts to heave herself to her feet.

‘Stay sitting,’ I order her as I walk round the table to give her a kiss. ‘Pregnant woman’s prerogative.’

‘Thank you.’ She grimaces. ‘The little bastard has been kicking me all morning.’

‘Do you need a hand with anything? Just shout and I’ll fetch and carry.’

‘Nice try, but you’re strictly punters today. Robin’s been very strict with me about it. I’ve got a couple of ladies from the church coming to help out, don’t worry.’

‘And where is the vicar?’

‘In his study, just making sure he’s got everything he needs.’

As if knowing that we’re talking about him, Robin wanders in to join us.

‘Ruby, Cameron. Lovely to see you as always. You’re the first to arrive. Are you ready for a day of wedding preparation?’

‘As we’ll ever be,’ I reply. ‘Although I’m still not sure what to expect.’

‘Don’t worry, it’s nothing too intense. In the morning, we look at various common areas of marital conflict – money, sex, communication styles and all that. Then we’ll look at the service itself this afternoon.’

‘I’m not talking to complete strangers about sex,’ I tell him firmly.

‘You won’t be,’ he assures me. ‘Nobody’s marking your homework. We’re just giving you space to think about different aspects of your relationship before you tie the knot.’

‘Did you do this before you and Sam got married?’ I ask him.

‘We did a version of it, yes. Relax, it’ll be fine.’

‘There’s nothing less fine than talking about sex with a vicar,’ I remark.

‘I don’t know,’ Sam pipes up from her seat at the table. ‘You could be talking about it with your parents.’ She winks at Robin. ‘Or even doing it with a vicar.’

‘That’s true.’

‘Anyway.’ She strokes her baby bump affectionately. ‘I think we can assume this particular vicar knows a thing or two where sex is concerned.’

‘What’s worse?’ Cameron asks me quietly. ‘Talking to a vicar about sex or thinking about a vicar having sex?’

‘Something tells me today is going to be a long day,’ I murmur back.

‘It’s not too late. We could cancel and book the registry office instead.’

‘Apart from the fact that I don’t think Sam would ever forgive us, we’ve put so much effort into this, what with all the back and forth to attend Sunday services to get our qualifying connection. Plus, I quite like the idea of Robin marrying us. It’s more personal somehow.’

‘You’re right. And it’s totally worth it if I get to marry you at the end.’

I smile and lean against him, giving him a surreptitious kiss. ‘You say all the right things. I’m pretty excited about marrying you too.’

‘Have you two sorted out your honeymoon yet?’ Sam asks, breaking into our private moment.

‘We have, actually,’ I tell her. ‘Despite my favourite travel agent moving to Dorking, it turns out it’s still possible to book holidays. Your colleague Janet helped us out.’

‘Go on then, spill the beans.’

‘We’re going on a cruise,’ Cameron tells her with a smile. ‘Revisiting a few places and catching up with old friends.’

‘We’re on the Spirit of Malmo again,’ I add.

‘Try not to miss it this time,’ she says, laughing.

‘I’m sure we’ll find ways to entertain ourselves if we do,’ I tell her with a smile. ‘I’ll be expecting a massage, for starters.’

‘I don’t think we need to miss the boat for that to happen,’ Cameron remarks.

‘Okay, too much information,’ Sam declares. ‘Save it for marriage prep.’

‘Talking of which, I think these are our other couples,’ Robin announces as the sound of car engines filters through from the open front door. ‘Shall we find out if you’re ready to get married?’

I glance at Cameron, who smiles crookedly back at me. I already know the answer to that question; I am so ready to marry him.