Hot Damn (Hot as Puck #3)

32. Beckett

Beckett

G oing without sleep and dragging ass never felt so good.

In the weeks since Cam and I moved our relationship from sort-of-friends to lovers to whatever level comes next, I’ve spent every spare moment I can inside her.

We’ve managed the occasional night alone in the house but most of the time we’re finding minutes for a quickie, or an hour if we’re lucky.

And usually it’s me forgoing my day naps that give us those hours.

She spends most nights at my house and even though Whit and I set up a guest room, I’m sure my daughter is well aware Cam doesn’t sleep in the new bed we bought.

The arrangement has worked out for all of us. Cam works from home, which means she’s there when Whit gets home from school if I’m not and neither of them are out where Draper or Dupre can get to them more than necessary.

The two men are the only dark spots in our lives.

Not even the couple of games the Rogues lost have dampened my mood. The fact they were close games, with goals scored in the dying seconds to clinch the win for the other teams, helps soften the blow .

None of us feels like losers.

“Hey.”

Glancing up I see Chase coming toward me. “Hey, what’s up?”

“The twins messaged to say they’re staying at school longer because Whitney has something on.”

“Whit does?” I wrack my brain to recall her schedule. I can’t remember anything but I know if I needed to pick her up Cam would have told me. Sent me a gentle reminder a few hours before. It’s another thing I’m more than happy with.

Cam has embraced my daughter as much as she has me. So much so, they team up against me when it’s time to choose what to watch on movie night or what we’re making for dinner.

We might not have talked about it, or publicized our relationship, but we’re partners in every way that counts.

And Cam is the closest thing to a mother Whit has ever had. The bond between them is as solid as the one I feel between me and Cam.

I can’t imagine our lives without her now.

“You okay?”

Focusing back on Chase, I smile. “Yeah, sorry. Just thinking.”

“You thinking about coming out?”

“ What? ”

“Oh, come on, we all know you and Cami are together.”

“Oh. That coming out. For a second, I thought… Never mind. Yes. We’re together but we’re taking it slow because of everything that’s happened.”

“Nothing has lately though, right? Those reporters haven’t given you any more trouble?”

“No. Not that I’m aware of.” His frown has me asking, “Do you know something?”

“No. Not really.”

“What kind of answer is that.”

Chase shrugs. “Whitney’s been acting a little off according to the twins. I figured it was because of you and Cami but she loves Cami so I don’t think that’s it.”

“She does love her, and the feeling is reciprocated, but it could be that making Whit a little off . A lot has changed in her life recently. First the move down here, the new school, and then the media thing, plus Cam.”

Damn . I need to check in with Whit. I’ve let my relationship with Cam take over most of my thoughts and time.

“Thanks for the heads up. I’ll talk to Whit tonight, see if I can get to the bottom of it.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing. The twins are still adjusting to being here too, and Whitney is the only friend they have.”

“They haven’t made others?”

“No. But that’s not unusual for them. They have each other and rarely let anyone else into their circle. It’s why I’m always so happy to have Whitney over and to be honest, I may have pushed that friendship more than I should. They’re a few years younger than Whitney, she might not be the best choice for helping pull them out of their bubble.”

“How are you doing? Not just with the move here, playing in the NHL. How are you and the girls doing?”

“We’re okay. Gem helps a lot.”

Chase’s reference to the Rogues GM always makes me think there’s more to their relationship, but from what I’ve seen it really is just a boss helping one of her employees. There aren’t any longing glances or small touches, nothing to indicate they’re more.

If there is a deeper relationship between them, they hide it better than me and Cam. Another thing to remember to talk about later.

First I need to make sure Whit is okay with me seeing Cam—with her basically living with us. And now I think about it, I’m sure that’s what Chase’s sisters are picking up on.

“Thanks for telling me what the twins said. I’ll let you know how my talk with Whit goes so you can ease their minds. ”

“Thanks.” Chase looks around the deserted Rogues gym. “You starting or finishing?”

“Finishing.” Disappointment flashes across his face. “But I can stick around and spot you if you’re doing weights.”

“Nah, it’s okay. Now that I don’t have to get the twins, I’m going to get a half-hour run in before I have to leave to pick up Candace from daycare.”

“Okay, I’ll message you later about Whit. See you tomorrow at morning skate.”

“Yep.” He pops in earbuds. “See ya later.”

I watch him a moment wondering if there was more to him seeking me out before shaking my head and heading out.

I’m through the building and almost to my car when Natalie calls my name. Turning around, I see her coming toward me at a fast clip and marvel at how she manages to do that in the heels she always wears.

“Beckett. I’m glad I caught you. Can you come to my office for a minute?”

“Ah, sure. Is something wrong?”

The way she looks around as though someone might be listening has my instincts rising.

“Natalie?”

“We should talk in my office.”

Before I can argue, she’s power walking back the way she came and I’ve got no choice except to follow.

Between the players’ parking lot and her office she remains tight-lipped, and the further we go, the angrier I get.

I don’t like secrecy, I had enough of it with Catrina, and no, it doesn’t escape me that Cam and I have been carrying on behind closed doors too.

The more my thoughts spiral, the more angry I get at the position I’ve put myself in. Again.

Is it the only way I know how to be with someone? Behind closed doors ?

“Beckett.” Oakley’s voice has my head snapping around. “Ray is finding them both.”

“Finding them?” My gaze flies to Natalie. “What the hell is going on?”

“Sit down and I’ll explain what I know.”

“No. Talk. Now.” Crossing my arms, I brace for whatever she’s about to tell me.

“I received a call a few moments ago regarding Whitney’s mother.”

Her words make no sense. “Whit’s mother?”

“Yes. Catrina Hooper.”

If a person can spontaneously combust without actually blowing up, I do it.

“What the fuck!”

“Please, Beckett. Take a seat.” Oakley places her hand on my arm and I shake her off before rounding on her.

“What the fuck did Cam tell you?” I get right in her face, but like the badass she’s shown herself to be, Oakley James Alcott doesn’t back away even when a two-hundred-fifty pound man hovers over her.

“Cami has told us nothing.”

“Bullshit! She’s the only one who knows the truth!”

Fuck . I grab my head. What have I done?

“I trusted her!”

“Beckett! I won’t ask you again to sit down but if you don’t calm the hell down, I’ll get Dr. Kerns up here to give you something to calm your ass down.”

Natalie’s raised voice snaps me out of angry outburst. Then again, the sudden fear for Whit might have done that.

“Whitney!” Spinning on my heel I find the door barred by one of the men on the Rogues security team.

“She’s fine. We know where she is and two of our men are retrieving her right now.”

“Retrieving her? She’s not a dog!”

“No, she’s not, and I apologize for the terminology, but I’m not used to speaking to clients.” The man’s sheepish expression deflates some of my anger but does nothing to relieve my fear.

“Where is she? Whit?”

“She’s at school. I’m told she had an appointment with the school counselor.”

Just the mention of the position has a violent shudder rippling down my spine. I don’t recall Whit mentioning seeing the school’s counselor. I know she’s spoken with the careers advisor but counselor?

Turning back to the room I find Oakley and Natalie waiting for me. The sympathetic looks on their faces has my anger reducing further.

“Sorry. I…”

How do I explain my outburst without revealing my secret? Hell, if they know Whit’s mother’s name they probably understand my reaction. With the initial rush of anger and panic subsiding I’m able to think more clearly.

Even if I could get past the guy at the door I need to know what’s happening before I go charging out in defense of my daughter. Doing as originally asked, I walk over to Natalie’s desk and take one of the visitor seats in front of it.

Elbows on knees, head bowed because I can’t look at anyone when I hear what they say, I ask, “Tell me about the call.”

“It was Fenton Barnes. He wanted to know what I knew about Whitney’s mother, Catrina Hooper. I, of course, know nothing and told him so. He then told me to find you and lock you down, he’d get Cami and Whitney here.”

“I don’t understand.” Rubbing my hands over my head doesn’t bring me any clarity.

“Neither do we, but from your reaction this isn’t a simple neglectful mother story,” Oakley adds as she joins me in a chair in front of the GM’s desk. “And I really don’t understand you lashing out at Cami about whatever this is.”

Fuck! Cam was right. I need to tell Natalie and I may as well tell Oakley and Blake while I’m at it .

“Is Coach Watts around? I’d rather only talk about this once.”

“She’s on her way up.” At Natalie’s words, the door behind us swings open and slams into the back of the security guy making him grunt.

“Oops. Sorry.” Coach Watts slips inside. “What’s going on? Bran just called and said there was some exclusive story being aired tonight about Beckett. Something about a sordid affair and stealing his daughter from her mother.”

I’m so shocked by her words I can’t speak.

Everyone else seems to have been affected the same, because for long seconds nobody speaks.

“Okay, this is obviously news…” Coach is pulling her phone from her pocket. “Let me call Bran back and get more details.”

“What show? I don’t need anything but the name of the show,” Natalie demands as she too picks up her phone to make a call.

I don’t hear either conversation. I’m still stuck on Coach Watt’s words.

Something about a sordid affair and stealing his daughter from her mother.

It’s kind of true. I did have a sordid affair. And in a way, I stole my daughter, but not from her mother. I stole her from the jaws of death.

“Beckett!” Oakley snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Snap out of it. What are we dealing with? We can’t fight it if we don’t know what it is.”

“I. Whit.” I swallow. Hard. “She’s everything to me.”

“We get that. It’s why whatever the hell we’re dealing with will be dealt with. Now explain.”

“No one knows except Cam.” Swallowing again, I force the next words out. “Not even Whit knows.”

“That I understand. What I don’t know is what no one knows.”

Eyes on Oakley, I open my mouth but can’t get the words past the lump in my throat .

“Here. Drink this.” Natalie shoves a tumbler of amber liquid in front of me. “I know you don’t drink alcohol during the season but two mouthfuls won’t hurt. Drink.”

I’ve never been a drinker. Didn’t have the access or money as a teen and once Whit came into my life, I had no time to indulge even if I wanted to. And that hasn’t changed as she’s gotten older.

But maybe a drink will help. Taking the glass I down the two fingers in one go.

The burn feels good going down and better when it settles in my churning gut. Handing back the empty glass I start at the beginning.

“My mother was a drug addict. By the time I was thirteen, I was in and out of foster care so many times I’m sure the doors never closed behind me. At thirteen she was found dead in a gutter and I went to live with Mama Dot. She was the first woman to care for me.”

I take a deep breath before going on.

“The second woman was my high school counselor. Catrina Hooper.”

The breath Natalie sucks in tells me she understands where I’m going but I can’t stop now or I’ll never start again.

“The year I turned fifteen, Ms. Hooper became Catrina. I can’t even remember the moment it stepped over the line and at the time I didn’t believe that it had. Now, as an adult, and after talking with Cam, I see that line was a trench so wide it should never have been spanned. But I’m not sorry about what happened or how it fell apart because without any of it there is no Whitney.”

“She’s Whitney’s mother.”

“Yes. A twenty-eight year old high school counselor gave birth to my daughter five days after I turned sixteen.”

“And Whitney doesn’t know?”

I look at Oakley. “Why would I tell a child that?”

Oakley waves her hand. “Ignore that question, it was the dumbest thing to ever come out my mouth.”

“Catrina was arrested and jailed before Whit was born and I changed my name to give us both a clean slate and a chance to have a future without the stigma of her mother’s actions hanging over us.”

“You were just a kid.” Blake crouches beside my chair. “I can’t imagine dealing with Drew as a sixteen-year-old. Bex, you and Whitney are a miracle, you know that right?”

“Someone pointed it out recently.”

“Cami.”

I glance at Natalie. “Yes. Cam.”

“It really is a miracle you are where you are, that Whitney is the amazing kid she is,” Oakley adds with a shake of her head. “It could have turned out so different for the two of you.”

“I know. But from the moment they placed my daughter in my arms, I knew I’d do anything and everything to secure her future. To make sure she got every opportunity possible. To make sure her life was the best it could be. To make sure she didn’t have to fight to survive every day like I did.”

“You did more than give that to Whitney, Beckett. You gave it to yourself too.”

We all turn at the sound of Cam’s voice.

Tears stream down her face, the lines marked by her makeup.

“I can’t stop it from airing. Dad and I have been going round and round for over an hour. They won’t pull it from the lineup.” A sob rips through her chest and I’m on my feet, heading her way when she says words that remind me why I fell for this woman. “I can’t protect her from this.”

Pulling her into my arms, I hold her tight and offer no words because there aren’t any. Neither of us can protect Whit from what’s about to happen, what we can do is tell her before it becomes public knowledge.