Chapter 21
chapter
twenty-one
When Journey getshome from work, the dance we’ve been doing the past few days continues. Tension swelters the room as she walks by, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye, and I let her go without saying a word after our initial greeting. She showers while I watch TV with a cold beer in my hand, and when she comes out, she sits on the couch after merely patting me on the knee. This is what a seed of distrust does when it grows into a towering tree, taking up all of the space in every room we enter.
There she is; the liar. And you are am; the pussy who is letting her.
Journey denied setting the fire that burned down Andrea’s Diner, and even though I accepted it outwardly, I think we both know that I have reservations. She can see it on my face just as much as I feel it in my gut. Maybe I could have let it go if Journey acted like she meant what she said. Instead, she walks around like she”s on thin ice, afraid her body weight will make the foundation crumble and plunge her into her sea of lies. I fucking hate that there is a river of doubt streaming between us now, but I don”t know how to act. Until she delivers evidence that proves someone else did it, I’ll continue struggling with feeling like I’ve been lied to.
You’re a fucking Dom. Grab her by the face and shake her until she confesses. Tell her that you will know if she is lying even if you don”t. Just get the truth out of her!
Stop it! Journey is not like other women. She’s not even like other subs. Sure, I can demand that she tell me the truth, but will she? I have no other means to acquire information. I only have her words.
Don”t let love distract you from the truth.
Clenching my teeth, I exit out of a show on Netflix and move onto something I know we’ll both be interested in. After pressing play, I set down the remote and let the show begin. Still, no words have been spoken between us. It’s not until Journey turns to face me that I realize we might not go the entire night without speaking.
“I have to tell you something,” she says.
I can see it in her face that whatever she’s about to say is important to her. No matter how frustrated I become with my Little Devil, she’s still all I truly care about. I’m still her protector, her savior, and her Dom. When I see the look on her face, I forget it all and sit up.
“What’s the matter?” I ask.
Journey hesitates like she doesn”t really want to tell me. Is this it? Is there where she admits that she destroyed the diner? Maybe keeping the secret became too much for her and she’s ready to let it out. If so, I won”t be upset. I won”t hold it against her or make her feel bad about it. I know she must have had a reason, and I trust her to make the right decisions for herself, even if I disagree with them.
“I wasn”t going to say anything,” she starts. “But I don”t like the way it feels holding this inside. I thought to deal with it on my own but decided that I wanted you with me. I need you with me, Evan.”
“Journey, you can tell me anything, and you know I’ll be there to support you however I can. Whatever it is, we can and will deal with it together. You don”t have to hide anything from me.”
She lets another few seconds pass, seemingly still contemplating divulging the information. When did she start feeling the need to keep parts of her life hidden from me? What else has she tucked away in the dark?
“Something strange happened at work today,” she says. “Summers said something that has me thinking we may need to pay him a visit.”
Summers. Fucking Summers. With the history I have with the Seventh Precinct, I have always done my best to stay away from that building. The one time I decide to surprise Journey, I’m met by Summers and have to keep myself from stabbing him in the neck with a fork. He’s arrogant, with a know-it-all attitude that rubs me the wrong way, and I can only imagine what it must be like for Journey to have him as a partner. The smile he plasters on his face is off-putting. There is something about it that I don”t like. That smile is Summers’ mask, and there is something devious peeking out from behind it.
“What did he say?” I inquire, placing my elbows on my knees as I listen intently.
“He asked a question,” Journey explains. “It’s not abnormal for him to ask me questions. He has been asking weird questions since he arrived. But today he asked one that he shouldn”t have—one that felt like more than just general nosiness. He asked me how Sam reacted when he found out I was dating a former suspect.”
Acid sizzles my veins as my eyebrows rocket upward. “Is that right?”
“Yeah, and I’m not sure what to do about it.”
“What else did he say?”
“Well, when I got pissed off about him for constantly bringing up Sam, he seemed genuinely apologetic. He said he was sorry multiple times, and even left to give me space because he could tell I was ready to break his fucking neck. He said it was his morbid curiosity or some shit, but I don”t care. I don”t like that he’s so interested in Sam, and now that he has pulled you into it, I’m fucking done. I don”t know how you feel about it, but I’m ready to start planning how to make him disappear. But, like I said, I don”t want to act on this without your input.”
Still leaning forward, I put my head down and try to think. This wasn’t the information I thought I’d be getting. Journey and I still have the issue of the diner fire to deal with, but this new thing with Summers is concerning, to say the least. What the fuck would prompt him to ask her a question like that? Is this guy looking into me? Is he looking into Sam’s death? If so, why? As much as I understand Journey’s desire to get rid of him, we need more information first.
“Okay, so there are only two scenarios here,” I say, my eyes still on the floor while I think aloud. “One—your new partner is really just a curious asshole who doesn”t understand the boundaries he crosses. He’s immature, and when he found out that he was replacing a man who killed himself, he really did become morbidly curious, and now he’s asking a bunch of questions that he shouldn”t. Or it’s two—his interest in Detective Winter is driven by something else; a need to find out what really happened. In which case you would be right; we’d need to rip his tongue from his mouth so that he can’t talk to anyone.”
Journey abruptly stands up, her body suddenly filled with excitement. “Alright, so when should we go? I can find out where he lives and if he lives alone. I don”t think he’s married—at least he hasn’t mentioned it—so we could get him the same way we got Cain. We wait until it’s late, I’ll handle the lock on the door, we bind and gag him so we can carry him out without leaving any evidence behind, and we kill him somewhere offsite—maybe one of the many wooded areas in Delaware. We make sure his house isn’t disrupted in any way—no signs of a struggle, no damage, and no stolen property. We make it seem like he just evaporated into thin air.”
I smile, falling in love with how animated she gets when talking about killing someone. I fucking love it, and I love how willing she is to go all out to keep us both safe. However, there is more to it than my Little One is realizing.
“I hear you,” I say, leaning back in my chair and lifting my beer. “And what happens when you start getting questioned? There’s no way we do this without you becoming the focal point of an investigation. Losing two partners so close together will not fly under the radar.”
Journey’s beautiful brown eyes dance around the room in search of answers.
“Well, that’s part of the problem,” she admits. “But I can handle that. No matter how many questions I get, there won”t be any evidence leading to me. They can ask whatever they want but they can’t prove anything.”
What an ironic thing to say considering the circumstances.
“Okay, let’s say you”re right about that. Even if they can’t prove that you did anything to either of those fucking losers, the investigation will almost certainly lead them to me. We’ve dodged scrutiny by keeping our relationship off the radar of anyone in your department. We made the mistake of going out to lunch with your partner one time, and he has already recognized my name. What would your captain do if he found out you and I were together?”
Realization slaps Journey across the face, forcing her to sit back down.
“It wouldn”t be good,” she agrees, nodding with disappointment hanging from her face.
“No, it wouldn”t. We have to keep in mind that Winter got approval from a judge to conduct a search on my house. The only reason it didn”t go any further is because of your statement saying that you didn”t find anything. Sierra’s body is still buried there, so we don”t need to do anything that could remind them about my connection to her. Investigating you will lead them to investigating me, which would surely lead them back to my house in Strawberry Mansion. That’s the last thing we need, so we have to play this smart.”
“Okay, so then what do you suggest?”
“We have to wait,” I answer.
Journey sits back in her seat, clearly annoyed.
“We don”t have enough information,” I go on. “Until we know whether the guy is looking into you or is just weird, we can’t act. Little One, I know how we handle things like this, and I know you enjoy it. I do too, but we are not serial killers. We don”t bury people indiscriminately. We got rid of Winter because he caught us trying to move Sierra’s body. We ended Cain because he was talking to Winter about how we attacked him. We had reasons, and until Summers finds out something he isn’t supposed to know, or shows that he’s looking in places that are off limits to him, we shouldn”t risk it all.”
Journey twists her lips together, genuinely let down by the fact that we can’t kill her partner … yet.
“Listen,” I say, even though she’s staring into space instead of looking at me. “I love you, and I love this life that we have together—the toys we have in the basement, The Black Collar, the lifestyle. I love it all, and I”m so glad that we found each other. I would strangle Sierra Cross a thousand times if I knew it would lead me to you all over again. I don”t want to risk what we have unless we absolutely have to. Sometimes shit happens and we can react on impulse, like with the guy at the club. With this situation, we can take our time and find things out before making a move too soon.
“So now it’s your turn, Little One. You”re worried that Summers might be looking into you, well now it’s time for you to start looking into him. Start paying attention to what he’s doing. Start checking for him, seeing who he’s talking to, watching where he goes when he leaves you by yourself, reading his emails if he leaves his computer open. See who he’s talking to when he texts. If he wants to wiggle his way into your life, start cutting your way into his. It’s no different than when we were worried about Winter and what he might do. We had to wait, and the second you found out he got a search warrant for my place, you called and we acted.”
Journey nods, her eyes slowly finding me again. “You’re right. I need to slow down and see where this goes. But if I find out that he’s checking us out, we’re going to have to handle it quickly. I won”t want to waste time and risk whatever he learns getting to Saunders or anybody else.”
“We won”t hesitate for a second,” I reply. “If he gives us reason to be suspicious, I promise I will slit his fucking throat myself. Okay?”
Journey nods as a smile slowly takes shape on her face. “Yes, Sir.”