I Accidentally Hooked Up with a Vampire (Accidents Happen #2)

2. Baldy and the Big Mouth

2

Baldy and the Big Mouth

“ Y ou dirty skank!” Maybe Maverick didn’t say that, but I swear that’s the look he shot me as he walked by.

It wasn’t my fault I only got half the tower together. The shit was way more complicated than I thought. I stood in the mirror, checking myself and ignoring the cat.

“You’re unemployed, but you sho’ is fine!” I smacked my own ass because no one else was going to do it. The soft green dress made me feel powerful, and it also hid the bloating after a night of drinking and eating ice cream while I fought with the damn tower.

I’m not gonna lie, it took some time for me to get comfortable in my skin, and it wasn’t because I was a plus sized queen. No, it was because my mental health was trash. You know how I learned that? I lost one hundred and six pounds and was still sobbing into my pillow every night. Six years of therapy and seventy-two of those lost pounds returned to my ass, and I was finally happy with who I was.

Just in time for a spiral of, “What do I do with my life now?”

I fed Maverick, who ignored his food and threw his ass in my face. “Get over yourself!” I fussed at him before I grabbed my purse, a small gold clutch with a claw clasp, and headed out the door.

I drove out of the city to the coast, where an exclusive gallery awaited. That’s where Lena’s party was happening, courtesy of my connections in the art world. It wasn’t until I pulled up in front of the waterfront property that I remembered how I made that happen: John Conrad. It was his connection that secured the event space, and I’d invited him to join the celebration.

Just as I handed the valet my keys, John pulled up. The bright red sports car, signature of a man going through a mid-life crisis, roared as it drove up behind me. I wanted to do anything but talk to that man again, but it was satisfying watching him struggle to get out of the car only inches above the ground. He actually rolled out of the damn thing and had to push himself up from the ground.

“Pathetic,” I muttered as I turned and headed inside. There was something else I would have to do all night: avoid that ridiculous man.

“Big money in the big money dress!” Jackie danced up to me as I walked through the large glass doors and into the gallery space.

The new construction was only a year old and had hosted some of the most elite events in the area. The massive glass windows at the back of the building overlooked the ocean, the highlight of the space for me. That was where I planned to spend most of my visit.

Prompted by Jackie’s greeting, I twirled to give her every angle of the dress she helped me pick out and accepted her offer of a fresh martini. My girl knew me well.

“You look like a snack! Let me get a bite,” she teased as we walked further into the space.

“Me? Girl, look at you!” I drew my finger up and down the length of the mini dress with pastel mosaic print and subtle beading. With her short pixie cut, she looked like a walking piece of art curated perfectly for the venue.

Jackie loved a strapless dress because it meant she could show off her tattoo that covered her from her neck down her left shoulder. It was an intricate floral piece she got as soon as she finished college. She said she had to wait because she wanted her father’s checks to clear and cover her tuition before she pissed him off.

“Well, I couldn’t let my besties outdo me. Besides, there are going to be some fancy art guys here. Gotta catch their eye some way!” She wiggled her narrow hips and sipped from her drink.

Where Lena and I were certified thickums, Jackie had a swimmer's build. If it weren’t for her triple Ds, she might have taken up the sport. She said her breasts messed with her buoyancy.

“Where’s Lena?” I scanned the large open space with art-lined walls. “Have you seen her yet?”

“Just briefly. They swept her into one of the back rooms to get ready for her speech.”

“This is amazing. I mean, I remember those late calls with her talking about how much she wanted to give up on this dream. Now look at her.”

“I’m glad we were there to help her through it.” Jackie nodded. “I mean, look at all of us! We’re doing the damn thing! Educated, sexy, and successful! It’s what we planned.”

“Yeah.” I dropped my eyes and sipped my drink. “I need to find the restroom. Drank too much water before leaving the house.”

“Okay, I’ll—”

“Jackie, is that you?” a matronly voice called out, and we turned to see Agathine Bradley, one of our former professors and an editor at Lena’s publisher.

“Damn. I guess I have to be cordial.” Jackie took another swig from her glass. “At least this time, she can’t ruin my life with that red ink of hers. The ladies’ room is in the back corner by the big red painting that looks like day two of your worst period. I’ll find you in a bit.”

“Great descriptors.” I waved her off, honestly grateful I didn’t have to keep up the show. Besides, if she followed me to the toilet, there was no way I was going to avoid the topic of my job.

It was only by a miracle I skirted around it at the dress shop. The one time they asked me about it, I lied and told them the meeting had been delayed. I’d have to buy them sushi to make up for it—that was the rule. White lies in our friendship were okay, as long as they were followed up with a solid explanation, a week of groveling, and a sushi boat big enough to feed a sorority.

I spotted the sign for the ladies’ room right where Jackie said it would be, next to a giant painting of what appeared to be the worst blood clot known to woman. The thing was nightmare inducing! I stopped to examine the painting and wondered why the hell they hadn’t swapped it out for something more fitting for the event. If nothing else, it would be a conversation starter.

The door to the ladies' room was at the front of a long hall that stretched to the back offices where the staff worked. My hand was inches from the handle when the door to the office opened. Thank God I didn’t actually have to pee, or it would have been a total embarrassment because I swear, every muscle in my body relaxed when I made eye contact with the man who stepped into the hall.

He was taller than me, a difficult thing to find at nearly six feet myself. He had a towering stature, wide shoulders, and a smooth brown complexion. This wasn’t a man without a skincare routine. He wore a tailored suit with gold cufflinks that matched the round wireframes on his face.

I had no idea who he was, but the brain between my thighs was instantly intrigued.

“Mr. James.” A short woman appeared by his side. “I’m sorry, there are two other contracts we need you to sign for the catering.”

“Yes, of course,” he spoke, and it was like he was whispering in my ear.

When he glanced down at the woman, I took that as my moment to dip inside the door. This night was about Lena, not my suddenly raging hormones.

“This is not the time. You know how you get when a man gets in your head. All your damn common sense goes out the window! The brain needs to be locked in right now,” I fussed at my reflection in the bronze-framed mirror. “Celebrate Lena, dodge John, and take your ass home!”

Did I need to stay in there for twenty minutes? No, but I wasn’t risking bumping into that man. I figured it gave him plenty of time to leave and was on point with the avoidant behavior I needed to make it through the night. And hell, if he noticed how long I was on the toilet, he might not want to approach me! Win, win! Sorta.

Twenty minutes wasn’t long enough.

“Whitney, there you are.” John came walking out of the men’s room just as I stepped into the hall.

“Oh, hey.” I nodded.

“You know, I wasn’t sure if I should still come to this thing, considering everything that happened.” He adjusted his belt buckle.

“You were invited.” I couldn’t even pretend to be nice to the guy. It was all too fresh. There he was, riding the success my hard work brought to the department, and there I was, unemployed.

“Yes, well, I wanted to tell you—"

“Girl, I feel like I just left the worst oral examination of my life!” Jackie walked up.

“That bad?” I turned away from John to address my friend and hoped he would take that as a message to leave me alone. You think he did? No!

He stood there lurking as I spoke to Jackie about her run-in with the professor, long enough for Jackie to frown at him.

“Can I help you?” She twisted her lips. “Is there a reason you’re standing here staring at us?”

“Yes, I’m—” John started.

“Jackie, this is John Conrad. He’s one of the managing partners at the brokerage company,” I introduced him, hoping to avoid any words like “former” or “termination.”

“Oh, it's nice to meet you.” Her expression relaxed into mild disinterest.

“Yes, you as well.” Jackie gave me a side eye, her expression screaming, “Is this someone I need to kick in the nuts for you?”

The answer was yes, but it wasn’t the time for that.

“I was just telling Whitney how happy I am for the invite. My sister loves the book. I was hoping to get a signed copy for her,” he lied. But why?

“John, there you are,” a grating voice that perfectly matched her parmesan-producing scalp called out over the soft jazz music played by a band in the far corner of the space.

I know damn well he didn’t ask her to come to this! The thought burned through my mind right as the stiff bob bubble head bitch walked up. Nina.

“Whitney, you’re here too?” she asked, as if she didn’t already know Lena was my best friend.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I spoke before I could temperature check her. Damn my hot head, because the next words out of her mouth ruined my plans for the night.

“Well, I just assumed since you don’t work for the company anymore, you wouldn’t want to be at a showing like this. I mean, everyone is already talking about how you got fired.” She pursed her lips and adjusted the strap of her gold frock. “John thought it would be a good idea for me to come since I’m taking over some of your old accounts. I can network a little without the pressure of contracts and—”

Nina stopped talking as those bony fingers with the pink ballerina nails popped up in her face.

“Hold on, what?” Jackie looked at me.

“Excuse me. I was talking.” Nina pushed Jackie’s hand out of her face, and I had to grab my friend. I knew where this would go.

“Jackie, it’s cool.” I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to my side.

“Is it?” Jackie looked through her long lashes at me. “What is she talking about?”

“John,” I addressed the moron before I scowled at the big mouth next to him. “Nina. Enjoy the party.”

It took two minutes to pull Jackie to a location where I could spill the tea without flooding the room.

“You got fired?” The moment we were out of earshot, she went in on me.

“Yeah, I did.” It wasn’t like I could deny it anymore. What would I do, claim two of my coworkers were bold-faced liars?

“When did this happen?” She looked over her shoulder.

“Yesterday. Actually, right before you guys texted me wishing me good luck.”

“Yesterday? You told us they rescheduled the meeting. You said it was delayed.”

“Yes, the meeting about my amazing promotion was delayed…indefinitely.”

Jackie stepped away just long enough to grab two fresh drinks from the server passing us by. She handed one to me and took a sip from her own. “How did this happen?”

I pointed across the room at the two people we’d just left. John was grabbing a drink from a server who passed him, and Nina was talking his head off. The man already looked like he was regretting his choice. Good. “He hyped me up then knocked me down. I’m still trying to understand it myself.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“You know damn well why I kept it to myself.” I took a deep breath and sighed. “Lena. Come on, Jackie. You know how she is. One word of this, and this moment in her life becomes a footnote in her efforts to take care of me. I couldn’t do that to her.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jackie sucked her teeth. “Damn. Okay. Tonight, we keep this to ourselves, but tomorrow, we’re telling her everything. And then, you’re going to give me that busted Edna’s information so I can find her and kick her ass. I don’t know the details yet, but I know she has something to do with this. I can smell a pick me a mile away.”

My laughter mixed with the taste of the drink on my lips.

“I ain’t never seen a bob so damn stiff!” she cackled and lifted her finger, pointing at the short menace. “That’s what happens when you’re not a girl’s girl! May her lace never melt and her scalp always itch!”

Lena wouldn’t mother me that night, but Jackie would. She kept a drink in my hand and a smile on my face. Any time John or Nina came near me, she gave them the meanest death stare that had them running in the opposite direction.

We stood with our arms linked and our eyes teary when Lena came out to a loud round of applause, and we screamed to our hearts' content after she made the announcement! A movie was officially in the works! After that, it was a slew of drinks, bumping dance music, and continued celebration. We hoped we would get more face time with Lena, but every time we got near her, someone else was pulling her away. The last time we tried, Agathine appeared, and Jackie vanished like a phantom in the night.

An hour after I lost Jackie, I was standing by the window, looking out at the water. There was a small nook created by the massive poster boards of the book cover, the perfect place to hide and let my mind drift. There was something so calming about it; watching the waves crashing against the shore had me considering a stroll on the beach. I would have done it if I wasn’t afraid of being posted on the nightly news.

Local woman loses job, gets drunk and swept out to sea!

What a terrible headline!

“I’ve been looking for you all night.”

I scoffed before I turned around because I knew who it was. John stumbled over to me, face dripping sweat and breath smelling like ass. Great way to represent the company, John!

“We should keep in touch.” He laid his sweaty palm on my arm and leaned in closer. “Just because we don’t work together doesn’t mean we can't be friends.”

“That’s exactly what it means.” I pulled away from him and wiped my arm with the cocktail napkin from my drink. “Considering we were never friends before, why would we start now?”

“Exactly. This is our chance.” He stepped closer to me. “We were professionals. Restrained. There's no need for that now.”

“You need to find some coffee and sober up.” I stepped away from him again and realized it was the wrong move. It put me further out of view of everyone at the party.

“What do you mean? I’m plenty sober.” He moved in closer and again put his slimy hand on my arm.

I looked over my shoulder. No one noticed because no one could see us. I had to diffuse the situation without making a scene.

“Take your hands off me unless you want to lose one.” I dropped my eyes to his hand and threatened his life.

“Whitney, don’t be like that,” John insisted. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you.”

“It’s not a mutual feeling, John,” I scoffed.

“Is there a problem here?” The deep voice was like a jazz bass, cutting through the noise of the party with confidence and turning the expression on the sweaty face in front of me from a sad attempt at seduction to one of fear.

“Mr. James.” John took several nervous steps away from me before he turned to look at the man who had joined us.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

“No, not at all. I was just speaking to a former employee.” John, of course, said that for no reason other than to establish some form of dominance. He wanted to put me in my place.

“Whitney Harris?” Mr. James looked at me before holding his hand out.

“Yes,” I said and placed my hand in his to shake. Breathe, bitch, breathe! My mind raced right along with my quickening pulse. How was it possible for a total stranger to make my entire body hum?

“It's great to finally meet you.”

“Finally?” I pulled my hand from his because I wanted him to pull me in closer. If I didn’t end the contact, I would find a way to embarrass myself.

“Yes. I’ve heard great things about your work in this art space.” He paused and looked over his shoulder at John. “Is there a reason you’re still here?”

“Oh, I, um, yes, I had more to say to Whitney,” John shakily asserted.

“Right.” Mr. James turned his deep brown eyes back to me. “Excuse us a moment.”

He turned, placed his hand on John’s shoulder, and pushed him far enough away from me so I couldn’t hear what he whispered in his ear. I didn’t need to hear it; I could see the result on the scummy guy’s face. With an expression that said he was ready to vomit from fear, John nodded to Mr. James, waved at me, and then tucked his tail and ran.

“I don’t know what you said to him, but thank you.” I smiled at Mr. James when he returned to my side.

“You look upset.” He shook his head.

“I am,” I said honestly before I eyed the glass in my hand. Maybe it was time for me to stop drinking. I should have played it cool. No, that sweaty, ball-headed bastard hadn’t upset me!

Mr. James tapped the frame of his glasses, nodded to the rest of the room, and then presented me with the one thing I wanted most: an escape. “If you’d like, I can offer you a better view of the water and a chance to get away from things.”

“I don’t know.” My mind said no, but that smaller brain, the one squealing between my legs, said hell yes!

“There are also much stronger drinks available.” I pointed to the nearly empty glass in my hand.

What was I saying about needing to stop drinking for the night?

I tossed one last look over my shoulder and then threw that thought out the window with my hopes of being the next Senior Acquisitions Broker.

“Lead the way.”