Chapter 27
Stars twinkle above me by the time I make it back to Teddy’s flat. I’ve been hyper-aware of everything around me, making sure no one is following me. The bronze family might be watching me. They might already know I’m back.
I stare at the front door for a few moments. What do I say? What do I do? What will Teddy do?
Sometimes it’s better just to take the first step and figure out the rest when you get there.
So, I take a deep breath and enter the house.
The door makes a loud noise when it opens.
I close it behind me. The murmuring in the living room is quiet now.
You could hear a pin drop, it’s so quiet.
I put my bag down on the floor and walk into the living room.
Elijah, Cat and Daisy stare at me from the couch.
Teddy doesn’t look up. No one makes a sound. I can’t take the silence anymore.
“Hi.” At the sound of my voice, Teddy looks up.
He studies my face for a moment, as if he can’t believe it’s actually me.
His movements are slow. He rises from his seat like a million rocks are weighing him down.
Then he takes a few steps towards me, progressively getting faster until he breaks into a run towards me.
The feeling of his arms wrapping around my neck is enough to set me off again; Teddy too.
We sob into each other’s shoulders, a sound so filled with pain that the others look tearful too.
“Teddy, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
“Never do that to me again,” he tells me, then breaks away from the hug but leaves his hands on my shoulders. Looking into his eyes again makes me wish I had never left.
“Promise me,” he asks, not breaking eye contact. Tears are running down his cheeks. I take the tissues Arthur gave me and move closer to him. He lets go of my shoulders, and they hang by his side. I wipe his tears, slowly and carefully. The soft tissues soak up all of the tears I caused.
“Never again,” I say, dabbing his cheek, then I start caressing it with my thumb. His bottom lip trembles terribly before I go in for a kiss, just a quick one. We put our foreheads together.
“It wasn’t your fault. I promise. There’s so much I need to tell you.”
“Please tell me everything. I just want to hear your voice, I…” he trails off as his voice cracks.
I did this to him.
“Please don’t cry anymore, it’s okay,” I whisper.
We back out of our hug, but I don’t stop gripping his hand with all my might. I’m holding on so tight I’m afraid I might break his hand, but when I loosen my grip, he just tightens his. My hand is at the centre of the universe in his.
“I have a lot of explaining to do, I know.”
“Yup,” Elijah mutters under their breath.
“The Bronze family threatened me with your lives if I didn’t leave.”
Teddy lets go of my hand. His face turns red, and his whole body tenses.
“They did what?” Teddy shouts, gritting his teeth.
“I was visiting my mother’s bench, and the bronze family came and lit it on fire. Then they put a knife to my throat and told me to leave or they would kill all of you,” I explain as my breath hitches. My lower lip trembles.
“And you believed them? They could just be empty threats, Noah,” Daisy says, her face boiling up like hot lava. I glance at the ground and sniff. I feel tears coming on, but I keep them at bay for now.
“They were the ones that killed my mother. I didn’t want them to kill anyone else.”
“They… oh my god,” Daisy whispers, covering her mouth with her hand. Teddy hugs me tightly. We stay like that for a while. I breathe in the scent of his hair as we back away. Cat moves towards me.
“First your mother, then Kai, and now this? I’m so sorry, Noah,” Cat says. She rises from the couch across from me before giving me a hug.
“So many hugs,” I say with a small laugh.
“Teddy isn’t the only one who likes your company,” Cat tells me before going back beside Daisy. I look over at Teddy. He’s quiet.
“Ted? Are you okay?” I ask, taking his hand and getting rid of the space between us. He doesn’t look me in the eyes until I take his chin in my fingertips and shift it in front of me. Once I let go, his eyes dart to the floor.
“Why won’t you look at me?” I ask, trying my best to hide the urgency of my voice. He looks me in the eyes with those glassy eyes, then his bottom lip trembles again.
“I have something to tell you, and… I really didn’t want to have to do this,” he cries, tears springing from his eyes. I can almost taste the saltiness from here. I wipe his tears with my index finger.
“You can tell me, Teddy,” I say, still wiping the tears I caused. The ache in my heart is enough for me to die at any moment.
“My second name is bronze.”
I let go of him. Cotton fills my mouth as I attempt to speak, but I can’t get any words out.
I stand up and head to the dining room table.
I turn away from him and grip the edge of the table, my legs threatening to give way.
I’m gritting my teeth before my bottom lip trembles terribly, like a volcano ready to erupt.
The most disgusting thing about human beings is that we have the power to destroy someone we love in a single sentence.
I know Teddy. I know what he fears, what he loves, I know his inner demons and his ambitions, I know what his body language means, I know what he’s thinking, I know everything about him.
So why didn’t I know this? Why didn’t I suspect this? I didn’t see this coming. All those threats were from his family. This entire time, I’ve been dating the son whose family killed my mother in cold blood.
“I…what?” a lump catches my throat. A million things are running through my mind at once, and I can’t keep up. Teddy makes his way towards me, but I shake my head and wrap my arms around myself. I need to think. My mind is a cloud I need to swipe away in order to think clearly.
“So all this time… you knew who was behind all the threats?”
“Yes, but—”
“Hold on a minute, you knew who killed my mum, and you didn’t tell me?” Teddy looks me in the eyes. No more tears. His demeanour is serious and withdrawn, like he doesn’t believe this is happening. I feel like I’m swimming in space, my throat closing up from lack of air.
“I wasn’t even there that day. I went no contact with my family years ago. But I heard what happened. After our date, when we sat at your mother’s bench and I saw her name. I knew then who you were. But the thing is—”
“What the fuck, Teddy?” I interrupt, molten anger filling my eyes. “What in the actual fuck is wrong with you? This entire time?” I spit, Teddy simply watches me. “You knew this entire time who killed my mother, and you knew I was looking for the truth. Yet you decided not to tell me?”
“Because I knew you’d react like this! I didn’t want to ruin the one good thing I had going for me,” he screams back.
“You are so fucking selfish!” I scream, banging my fist against the glass table behind me. The table wobbles and the vase of yellow roses rolls off the edge and smashes. Glass shards scatter on the floor.
“You wanted in my pants so badly you decided to hide the fact you’re the son of the crime family that killed my fucking Mum? Are you hearing yourself?”
“It wasn’t like that! And I’m not a part of their family!” Teddy retorts, his anger curling back inside him. “Not anymore,” he mutters.
“Is that why you have a switchblade? Yeah, I saw that by the way. Have you hurt someone with it? Are you going to hurt me?”
“What? No, I would never hurt you… I’ve never hurt anyone with it, it’s only for protection.” I can’t help but cock my head back and laugh at the hilarity of that.
“So what happened then? Did they kick you out of the club? Were you too shit at hurting innocent people?”
“That’s enough, Noah,” Cat butts in, anger painted red on her face with a hint of nervousness.
She comes between us both. “Teddy hasn’t been a part of his family for years now.
Think about it from his point of view. How was he supposed to tell you all this?
He struggled with it so bad you have no idea,” she explains.
Suddenly, it all makes sense.
“So you knew too,” I mutter quietly. I unclasp my fist as tears spill from my eyes.
“All of you knew about this,” I say, looking around the room. They all stare at me in silence.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
Teddy, Cat, Daisy and Elijah. My new friends. They were hiding the truth from me this entire time.
I think I’m going to be sick.
I push past them all and push open the bathroom door. I lock it quickly, while my whole world grows dizzy. I fall to my knees with a thud. Bile rises in my throat as my whole body convulses. The acidic taste fills my mouth as each wretch takes my breath away until my stomach feels hollow.
“Noah, let me in. Let me help you,” Teddy says, knocking on the door. I wipe my mouth as I crawl to the door. My back rests against it as the sound of pleading echoes surround my head.
“Noah, please let me in,” Teddy cries. Tears come thick and fast as my whole body starts shaking. I clutch my knees as I rest my head between my legs.
“Go away, Teddy,” I say with a sniff. I can’t wrap my head around what’s going on. The thoughts are running so fast.
“Do you think you were the only one they threatened?” Teddy says through the door. I can hear him sitting down, too. My heart aches in a disgustingly familiar way.
“They thought if I got into a relationship with you, I would tell you who they are. Then you’d go to the police,” he explains while my cries continue.
“Tell me why I shouldn’t.”
“Because they’ll kill me. I just got my life. I have friends, I have you, I have my business. I don’t want this life to burn to the ground. I’ve dreamed of this life for so long,” he whispers.
“You lied to me,” I whisper between sobs.
None of this is real.
It can’t be.
“I told you I would make sure they were all rotting in jail like they deserve. There were countless opportunities you could have come clean. I was going insane over this, and you let it happen,” I tell him through the door.
My breath hitches, and I grip myself tighter.
“You’re a fucking liar Teddy. How could you do this to me?
” I ask without expecting an answer. But he answers anyway.
“To protect you,” he says quietly as we both fall silent. All that’s left is a deep hollowness in my heart. I’m suddenly a vessel with no soul or feelings. I completely shut down. My thoughts narrow to getting out of this fucking place. I can’t be here anymore.
I unlock the door, and Teddy rises from the floor quickly. He looks me in the eye, his face wet.
“Noah, I,” he begins, putting a hand on my shoulder. I shrug it off.
“If you ever cared about me, you’ll let me leave right now.” Teddy takes his hand off me and steps aside. I don’t look back. I just keep on walking. Shards of glass from the vase crunch under my feet as I head for the door. No one stops me.
I make my way out of the door. My legs are carrying me farther and farther away from the house as I pick up speed.
Maybe the universe has it in for me.
Maybe I’m doomed to be alone forever
Maybe I’ll never find the happiness I so desperately crave.
Tears blind me as I run.