Ice Cold Hearts: A Single Mom, Hockey, Reverse Harem Romance (Forbidden Fantasies)

17. Ian

She’s so tiny. How can someone so small have so much energy or be that slippery? I bet I’d have more luck trying to catch a greased pig than putting Audrey to bed.

I groan as I flop down on our living room couch.

“There are four of us and one of her, and it was still nearly impossible. How the hell do you manage to do this on your own?” I ask, baffled.

Even though it’s at my expense, Emily’s laugh warms my heart.

“And don’t give us any of that ‘moms are superheroes’ crap. We need battle tactics, Woman,” Oliver jokes.

“Some of it can only be fixed by time.” She shrugs. “We’ve come here a lot, but a guest room isn’t the same as her bedroom, so that’s going to throw her off. Also, you three are the shiny new toys right now, so you’re way more exciting than plain old Mama.”

My heart sinks a little at the self-deprecation.

“Nothing plain about you, Kitten,” I say, squeezing her hand.

Emily smiles and shakes her head at me, “You’re sweet, but I’m not fishing for any compliments here. I just mean you’re new and kids are just wired to be obsessed with the unknown, and I’m familiar. She knows exactly what she can and can’t get away with when it comes to me. Which reminds me, she played you three like a fiddle.” She mockingly shakes her finger at us, “You fell for every single trick in the book. All she had to do was look at you with those big brown eyes and you were putty in her little hands.”

“She’s not the only one who does that,” Alexei says dryly.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Emily says, feigning innocence.

“I want to go back to the bedroom comment,” Oliver says.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“You said it was hard for her to sleep in the guest room because it wasn’t really her room. What if it was her room?” he asks.

Emily goes silent.

I feel like I’m skydiving without a parachute. We’re rapidly approaching a territory that none of us have come close to touching. I’ve been biting my tongue and stuffing all that down because I was too afraid to rock the boat and risk the misery that would come with Emily leaving. Now, there’s no avoiding it, not after Oliver dropped that bomb. I clench my hands together so tightly, I can feel my nails sinking deep into my skin.

Every time I think I’ve finally got control over my emotions, something like this comes along and reminds me of what a failure I am.

Just stay quiet and don’t ruin everything.

“Do you understand what you’re suggesting?” she asks cautiously. “This isn’t just a trivial thing. If you do this, if you create a permanent space for her in your home, you”d be telling me you want a permanent place in her life.”

“Is that not something you want?” I ask softly.

“It”s a big commitment, and I”m worried you don”t understand the full ramifications of that. I mean, it”s not all picnics and movie nights. There”s illness and tantrums and so many other little things. I”m not expecting a guarantee of forever, but last month when we went to the zoo, I got no sleep the night before because I had no idea how to explain this to my parents. They”d been asking questions, and when I texted you, you said keep it simple, that we should just tell them we”re in the getting to know each other phase. That things weren”t too serious. I thought that maybe you were going to say you wanted—” Her voice breaks, and she takes a breath.

Seeing her blink away the mist in her eyes and settle behind a mask crushes me. I want to tell her just how deeply I care, but I”m too afraid of drowning her in the tidal wave of emotion welling up inside me. I don”t want to be too much. I couldn”t cope with another woman I care about telling me I feel too much, so I stay silent and wait for her to continue.

Oliver and Alexei don”t seem to be handling this much better than I am. Every muscle in Alexei’s body is taut like a bowstring, and Oliver has run his hands through his hair so often it looks like a wheat field on a windy day.

Emily clears her throat and starts again, “Of course, you want to keep things casual and avoid the girlfriend label. There”s so much you don”t know about me and about her, especially around the situation with her father. I know if you knew that, everything would be over, and then you go and suggest something like this. You offer something as permanent as a bedroom, and you won”t even say I”m your girlfriend? I don”t care about me, but if Audrey starts to rely on you and you get bored and want to move on… You can break my heart, but I will not let you break hers and?—”

“Enough,” Alexei gruffly cuts her off. “Do you remember what I said to you in that stairwell four and a half months ago?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Emily asks.

“I said that you were in charge, that we”d go as far as you wanted us to go. You set the pace, Emily. If you”re ready for more, then all you have to do is say you want to talk about where our relationship is going. Those house meetings we have here are for more than event planning or replenishing the snack hoard. They”re for talking about things like this.” He sinks back into the couch, frustrated. “Do you want more, yes or no?”

“It”s not that simple,” she protests.

“Answer the question,” he says firmly.

It”s only a couple seconds of quiet, but for me it”s an eternity. I clench my hands tighter to stop the shaking.

“Yes, but there”s all these other details like Audrey”s father and the press. There”s already articles with my face plastered all over them, and that”s just from them finding us out and about in public together. What happens when it gets out that I”m your girlfriend?” she says, her voice growing increasingly panicked.

“One thing at a time.” Oliver strokes her hair softly.

I”ve always been grateful for the way Oliver manages the mood of the room, but never more so than now. Just seeing her lean into him with that trusting air brings my heart rate closer to normal.

“Emily, we”d love to make things more official, but none of us wanted to push you. We”re more than ready for you to be our girlfriend if you are.”

“And you both feel the same?” She looks at Alexei, then turns to me.

My heart skips a beat when her earthy eyes lock onto mine. Alexei says yes, but all I can do is nod.

“And Audrey?” she asks.

“We might need a little more coaching in that department, but we”ll be as involved as you want us to be,” Alexei says. “We’d do anything to keep that girl safe.”

“Are you sure?” she presses. “There”s so much you don”t know yet.”

Oliver tucks her against his side, and Alexei and I each grab one of her hands. I”m too overwhelmed for words, but I hope she can feel how serious I am from the way I lace my fingers through hers.

“Unless you”re planning on croaking on us anytime soon, we”ve got plenty of time for that.” Oliver grins.

I love how easily he makes her laugh.

“As far as Audrey’s dad is concerned, nothing you can tell us will change the fact that we all want you and that awesome little gal in our lives. You don”t have to say anything now,” he says as she opens her mouth. “When you”re really ready, you”ll tell us, but as far as I”m concerned, that man is an absolute idiot for letting you get away. Making him a big deal isn”t worth our time or yours.”

Emily turns a pale shade of green, but she nods. “Okay, what”s next? I mean, what about the press?”

Alexei quirks an eyebrow. “Do you want to tell the press?”

She sighs. “No, but there are so many rumors already.”

“Em,” I say softly, “stop reading the papers or the articles, and especially stop reading the comments. I was depressed for months reading comments about me faking my shoulder injury or saying I was lazy and a number of other absolutely vile things. Please don”t make the same mistake I did and treat small-minded gossip like gospel. It will ruin your life.”

“Thank you,” she says, wiping away a few tears.

“She does have a point about the press, though,” Alexei says thoughtfully. “We”ll need a plan, but first we need to know everything that”s been going on.”

I”m at the edge of my seat listening as Emily describes everything that”s happened over the past two and a half weeks. Apparently, things have snowballed more than she’s been letting on after Oliver got photographed at the hospital.

I knew we’d been spotted at a restaurant together. We all knew about that one. It had been the day we celebrated Alexei’s progress in physical therapy. What I didn’t know about was all the calls she’d received at work. Some were up front and asked her for interviews, but others tried to weasel information out of her under the guise of scheduling a consultation with her. She hadn’t told us about the two people removed from the premises for sneaking in and photographing her with her patients. I guess she just didn’t think it was a big deal because the hospital threatened to sue on the grounds of a HIPPA violation and nothing was published.

I feel my frustration growing exponentially with every encounter she retells.

Why didn’t she tell us this sooner?

When she finishes, Alexei’s eyebrows are at his hairline, Oliver looks like he’s going to be sick, and I’m ready to race out of the house and punch the first paparazzo I see.

“This is clearly more serious than we’d thought,” Alexei says.

No shit.

Oliver must be able to read my mind because he shoots me a warning look before I can open my mouth.

“I didn’t want to worry you, especially since I didn’t know what was going on with us,” she says meekly.

“Now that you do know where we stand, if you ever keep something like this from us again, I’ll have you over my knee,” Alexei says sharply. “I have half a mind to do it anyway.”

“As fun as that’s going to be, we’ll have to take a raincheck on that,” Oliver butts in. “We need to focus on how we’re going to handle this.”

Alexei sinks back into the couch, disappointed.

He sighs. “You’re right.”

Then he turns to Emily. “I won’t forget about this. Trust me, Kitten, the next chance I get, your ass is going to have my handprints on it for risking your safety like this.”

“Yes, sir,” she whispers.

Alexei shifts like he’s going to get up and do it anyway.

“She needs a driver.” My tone is harsher than I’d intended, but I don’t care.

“Agreed,” Oliver says.

“Wait, what?” Emily protests. “I can drive perfectly fine on my own.”

“I’m sure you can,” Oliver soothes, “But are you trained in evasive driving? Do you know how to plan contingency routes in case of a swarm of press? Can you make those split-second decisions about where to turn and when to double back in high-stress situations?”

She shakes her head, properly chastised. “No, I can’t do any of that.”

“Based on what you’ve been telling us, it’s only a matter of time before they start surrounding you in the parking lot,” Alexei says. “You need a driver.”

“But I can’t afford one,” Emily protests.

“In what world do you think we’d ever allow you to pay for that?” I snap. “We’re taking care of all of this.”

I feel like a monster when she shrinks into herself at my tone.

“Will you agree to a driver? It’s for your safety. We’d be lost without you, Emily. The press is our problem. Let us help you solve it,” Oliver insists gently.

“All right.”

Some of the tightness in my chest loosens.

“What about security?” Oliver presses. “You should have someone with you just in case.”

Emily bristles. “No. I don’t want someone following me around. You guys only have security at big events. There’s no reason for me to have a bodyguard. Besides, they don’t know where I live, they haven’t found Audrey, and the hospital has already proven they can handle any press at work.”

All I can see is red.

Why the fuck won’t she let us keep her safe?

“Yet,” I spit out.

“Excuse me?” Emily turns toward me.

“I think you meant to say they don’t know where I live yet. They haven’t found Audrey yet. Because they’re going to. Even though we’re not coming out about our relationship to the press, they are going to find out everything about you and everything about her. Do you have any idea how stupid you’re being right now?” My heart sinks when she recoils from me, but I’m too worked up to stop. “Do you really think any of us would be able to cope if something happened to you or that sweet little girl? Yet here you are, throwing caution to the wind, refusing a perfectly reasonable security detail. But let’s just throw caution to the wind. Who cares, right?” I throw my hands up. “If you want to be reckless and put yourself in unnecessary danger, I’m not going to sit here and be a part of this. I’m out of here.”

They all call after me, but I refuse to give them the satisfaction of looking back.