Chapter 26
26
GERARD
I t’s happening. My first date with Elliot. The same Elliot who’s been driving me crazy with his quick wit, his guarded smiles, and those penetrating eyes that see through my tough hockey player exterior.
I’ve been on a few dates before, but this one is different. Special. And I don’t want to do anything that will screw it up.
Luckily, I have a secret weapon—Lily. That girl has made me sit through a gazillion rom-coms, and let me tell you, I’ve learned at least a thing or two.
First off, opening doors is key. Car doors, restaurant doors, house doors—it doesn’t matter. It’s a classic, chivalrous move that never goes out of style. So, as we approach Betsy, I rush ahead to grab the passenger door handle, even going so far as to give a small bow before I swing it open for Elliot. He eyes me dubiously, but I can tell he’s at least somewhat charmed. One point for Gunnarson the Great.
Next up, compliments. You have to let your date know that you appreciate their effort to dress nice. And trust me, Elliot has dressed more than nice. He’s traded in his usual hoodie and jeans for a nice shirt and a pair of khakis that hug his lean legs in all the right places .
“You look great, by the way,” I tell him as we buckle up. “Not that you don’t always look great! I just meant, you know, you look extra great tonight. Date-level great.”
Smooth, Gerard. Real smooth. Minus half a point.
“Thanks, Gerard. You clean up pretty well yourself.”
As I put the car into drive, I think about how the compliments didn’t go exactly according to plan. But I’ve still got a few more rom-com tricks up my sleeve. Don’t you worry.
“Do you have any specific radio station you want to listen to?” I spare him a glance before pulling out onto the road that will take us off campus.
He shrugs. “I’m not picky. Though, if I had to choose, I prefer pop music.”
We come up to a red light, and I fiddle with the radio dial, determined to find the perfect station. I land on a local station playing Ed Sheeran’s “Lego House.” I tap my fingers against the steering wheel in time with the beat.
“Oh, I love this song.” A rare smile appears on Elliot’s face.
I glance over at him. “Yeah? Me too. It’s got a great message about building a relationship brick by brick and creating something solid and everlasting.”
“Exactly. It’s not about grand gestures or flashy displays. It’s about the little things.”
While Ed Sheeran’s soulful voice serenades us, I think about how perfectly the lyrics apply to this moment. Elliot and I are two people driving down the street and listening to music. Simple, yet effective.
The light turns green, and I ease my foot off the brake, allowing the car to roll forward. A comfortable silence settles over us. The kind of silence that reminds me of a well-worn hoodie or a favorite pair of sneakers. The kind that doesn’t need to be filled with constant chatter or nervous energy. The kind you can only have with someone you like and who you know is okay with the silence, too.
Elliot tilts his head back and closes his eyes. He looks peaceful, and I dare say it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen all week.
I wonder what he’s thinking about. Is he mentally reviewing the menu? Pondering the mysteries of the universe? Attempting to figure out how many stars are in the sky or why cats always land on their feet? Or maybe— hopefully —he’s thinking about me.
“Hey, Gerard?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you sing?”
Like a dodo head, I point at myself. “Me?”
Elliot snickers. “Yes, you.”
“Not professionally, but I’ve been known to bust out a Carly Rae Jepsen song at karaoke nights when I’ve had a few beers.”
“Would you maybe sing for me?”
I nearly slam on the brakes in surprise. “Right now?”
Elliot rolls his eyes. “No, next year. Yes, right now.”
Either my ears are playing tricks on me, or Elliot wants me to sing to him.
“I…yeah, I can do that…for you.” My heart does a triple axel in my chest as I contemplate what to sing. Everything I can come up with is inadequate for the situation. “Any suggestions?”
Elliot reaches for the radio and turns the volume down. “Elton John’s ‘Your Song.’”
That…is an excellent choice. I want to kick myself for not having thought of it myself.
“Alright. Here goes.” I clear my throat, moisten my lips, then sing my heart out.
For him.
By the time we get to the restaurant, I’m floating on cloud nine. Not only did I sing for Elliot, but he gave me the best compliment in the world.
You have a gift, Gerard.
That’s right. I have a gift. Me, Gerard Anthony Gunnarson. Who knew that I could do more than just sling pucks into nets? I could be the next American Idol. The next Voice. The next American who’s got talent.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, I need to graduate from college.
Walking into the restaurant, hand in hand with Elliot, a wave of nerves threatens to turn my legs to jelly. But then I remember Ryan Gosling’s wise words in Crazy, Stupid, Love : “Be better than the Gap.”
While I’m not entirely sure what that means, I think it has something to do with being a perfect gentleman.
The hostess leads us to our table, and I rush ahead to pull out Elliot’s chair for him. The move surprises him, and I mentally fist-pump the air. Another point.
“Thank you, kind sir,” Elliot says in a terrible posh British accent.
“Why, of course, my good man,” I reply in an equally terrible accent as I take my seat across from him. We both laugh uncontrollably and suddenly, I’m no longer nervous.
I read over the menu. Everything sounds delicious, and I struggle to make a decision. “Do you know what you’re going to get?”
“I always get fettuccine Alfredo when I come here.”
“Oh, that sounds good. I think I’ll get that too.”
The waitress comes to take our order. As I hand her my menu, I think about the other rom-com tropes I’ve yet to do—accidentally brushing my hand against his as we both reach for the breadsticks and paying for dinner, even if Elliot offers to split the bill.
I take stock of the ambiance, and I have to admit, I made a good choice tonight. The place isn’t too crowded, the background music is pleasant, and the service seems to be running smoothly. It isn’t long before our food comes, and we dig in with smiles on our faces .
In between bites of food, we strike up a conversation about Elliot being adopted. “It’s not something I advertise, but it’s also not a secret. My mom couldn’t have children and adopted me when I was an infant. She’s always done her best to give me a wonderful life.”
“I’m sure she has.” I try to imagine Elliot as a small child. I bet his big brown eyes were even more enormous on his tiny face.
“I think that’s why she had such a hard time with me going to BSU. She’s used to being able to provide for me, but since the tuition was out of her price range, she wanted me to go to community college.”
I understand where he’s coming from. College isn’t cheap; it can be a huge burden, even with scholarships and financial aid. I’m lucky to not only have parents who can afford to send me anywhere but also a talent that can open doors for me.
Elliot sets his fork down and studies me intently. “She wants what’s best for me, but sometimes I don’t think she truly understands what I want.”
“What do you want?”
“To make my own decisions. To follow my own path. My mom means well, but it’s hard when the person who raised you expects you to do things their way.”
I take a sip of water to wash down the Alfredo sauce. “It sounds like your mom loves you a lot. Maybe she’s just scared of losing you?”
Elliot sighs. “Yeah. I know that’s what it is. It’s just…complicated.”
“Families always are. But you have a solid foundation with yours.”
“I do,” Elliot admits. “I just need her to see that this is important to me.”
I reach across the table, take his hand in mine, and gently squeeze it. Sometimes, you don’t need words to comfort someone. You just need to be there .
He glances down at our joined hands, then back up at me. His eyes say it all. Thanks.
“Tell me about your sister. What’s she like?”
A smile spreads across my face at the mention of my favorite person in the world. “Oh, dude, where do I even begin? She’s the coolest kid ever. Smart as a whip, sassy as can be, and she’s got a heart the size of the entire country.”
“She sounds amazing.”
“She is. Whenever I head home for the holidays, Lily and I become two peas in a pod. We have all these little traditions.”
“Tell me.”
“Well, for starters, we always have a movie marathon night. We build this epic blanket fort in the living room, stock up on all our favorite snacks, and binge-watch classic Disney movies until we pass out.”
Elliot dabs his lips with a napkin. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”
“Oh, it is. But not as fun as the annual hiking trip we take with our parents in the spring. We visit this gorgeous spot that’s from out of a fairytale. We pack a picnic lunch and spend hours talking about everything—school, work, life.”
It’s one of my favorite places to go with my family. The sun warms our faces, the breeze rustles through the tall grass, and Lily’s infectious laughter rings out across the mountaintop.
“But I think my favorite tradition is our Saturday morning pancake extravaganza. I wake up early and sneak down to the kitchen to whip up a massive batch of chocolate chip pancakes. The smell always lures Lily out of bed, and she comes bounding down the stairs with her hair all wild from sleep.”
“That’s adorable,” Elliot says softly. “She’s lucky to have you for a big brother.”
“Nah, I’m the lucky one. Lily’s my rock. No matter what’s going on in my life or how stressed I am about school or hockey, I know I can always call her, and suddenly, everything is better.”
I pause, realizing I’m rambling on about Lily. I love gushing about my little sister but don’t want to dominate the conversation. This is a date, after all, and I want to learn more about Elliot, too. “But enough about me. Tell me about you and Jackson. He’s a brother to you, right?”
Elliot nods, and a smile appears on his face at the mere mention of Jackson’s name. “Yeah. We’re extremely close. I met him during a class project freshman year.”
I nod encouragingly, sensing there’s more to the story, and I’m right.
“He’s the greatest guy I know. He defends me against bullies. He makes it a point to talk to me every day, even with his busy schedule. He sees me as a person, not a minority card he can tick off his list.”
“I know I’ve only known him for a little over a month, but I can sense he’s someone you want in your life. I’m glad you have him.”
Elliot smiles. “I’m glad, too. There was this one time a couple of weeks after we first met when I was walking back to the library after a late-night class. This guy jumped out of the shadows and tried to mug me.”
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Whoa, seriously?”
“Yeah. Thankfully, I didn’t have much on me—just my wallet with like ten bucks and my cell phone. But this guy was desperate, I guess. He grabbed me and shoved me up against a tree, demanding I hand everything over.”
A surge of protectiveness washes over me, even though I know this happened years ago, and Elliot is okay. “That must have been terrifying.”
“It was,” Elliot admits. “But then, out of nowhere, Jackson came barreling down the sidewalk like some kind of superhero. He tackled the guy to the ground and held him there until campus security showed up.”
I whistle. “That’s ballsy. He could have been seriously hurt if the dude had a knife or a gun.”
“I know, right? Jackson was my knight in shining armor. After that, we kind of became inseparable. I didn’t think he’d stick around when sophomore year started, but he did, and it made me like him even more.”
The waitress returns and asks if we want dessert, but Elliot and I are full. We get the check, I pay the bill, and we head outside. Elliot’s hand finds mine, our fingers intertwining as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. We cross the street and enter the park. The glow of the streetlamps cast a warm, inviting light over the winding paths and manicured lawns.
We aren’t the only ones with the idea of an after-dinner stroll. Couples pop up here and there; some holding hands like us, and others sitting on benches, engaged in quiet conversation. It’s a peaceful night, and the soft laughter, hushed voices, and pitter-patter of our footsteps only add to the soundtrack.
“So, tell me,” I say, breaking the comfortable silence that’s settled between us. “Any ex-boyfriends I should know about? Anyone who might come beating down my door and threatening to whisk you away?” I keep my tone light and teasing, but a part of me is genuinely curious.
Elliot laughs, and I grip his hand more tightly. “No, no ex-boyfriends will come after you, I promise. My last relationship was back in high school.”
“Oh yeah?” I raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “Do tell.”
“His name was Liam. He was a hockey player, believe it or not.”
I stop walking and turn to face Elliot fully. “Wait, seriously? You dated a hockey player?”
Elliot smirks. “I know, I know. Considering my initial uncertainty about having you in my life, it’s ironic, don’t you think? But yeah, Liam and I were together for almost a year.”
“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”
Elliot shrugs, his gaze drifting off into the distance. “I was young and dumb and thought I was in love. But Liam was always more focused on hockey than on me. He’d cancel dates at the last minute, and I always felt like I was playing second fiddle to his sport.”
I nod in understanding. I know all too well how consuming hockey can be. How easy it is to let it take over your life if you’re not careful. “I’m sorry, Elliot. That must have been tough.”
“It was at first. But then I got over it and vowed never to date a hockey player for as long as I shall live. And then you came along.”
A cocky grin that spreads across my face at Elliot’s words. “Well, well, well. Guess I’m just too irresistible for you to keep that vow, huh? The Gunnarson charm strikes again.”
I give an exaggerated wink, and Elliot rolls his eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head, hotshot. I’m making an exception for you. Don’t make me regret it.”
“Oh, I would never dream of it.” I place my hand over my heart. “I am honored and humbled that you have deemed me worthy of breaking your sacred pledge. I shall endeavor to prove myself deserving of such an esteemed position.”
“Wow. Those are big words coming from you.”
“You know what else is big coming from me?”
Elliot howls. “Oh my God, Gerard. You are ridiculous.”
“Ridiculously charming, you mean.”
We resume walking, our joined hands swinging between us. The cool night air is refreshing against my skin, and the scent of freshly cut grass fills my nostrils. It’s a perfect evening, made even more perfect by the amazing man at my side.
“So, what about you?” Elliot asks after a moment. “Any ex-girlfriends in your past I should know about?”
I shake my head. “Nah, not really. I mean, I dated a few girls in high school, but it was never anything serious. Just typical teenage stuff. Movies, dances, awkward make-out sessions in the back of my car. But there was never…a spark. Never that feeling of clicking with someone on every level.”
It’s the truth. Yes, I’ve found girls attractive and enjoyed their company, but ultimately, my true love has always been the ice .
Until now.
Elliot is different. He makes me feel things like never before. He challenges, intrigues, and captivates me in a way no one ever has. And with a bone-deep certainty, I know that what we have is special. That he is special.
“What about…” Elliot hesitates, and I squeeze his hand, letting him know he can ask me whatever he wants. “What about sex? Have you ever, you know…gone all the way with anyone?”
I rub the back of my neck with my free hand and blush. “Ah, no. I haven’t. You’re the first person to ever touch me.”
There. I said it. My deepest, darkest secret laid bare for him to see. I hold my breath, waiting for his reaction.
“Wait, seriously?” His eyes widen in shock. “But you’re…you’re Gerard Gunnarson! Hockey superstar! Campus heartthrob! I’ve always assumed you’d been intimate with someone at some point before I met you.”
I chuckle nervously. “I mean, I’ve had plenty of opportunities. I’ve lost count of how many girls have made it clear they wanted to, uh, get down and dirty with me.”
“And you never took them up on it?”
I shake my head. “Nah. I don’t know. It just never felt right. I got hard making out with them, of course—I’m only human, after all. But whenever they reached for my boner, I stopped them.”
“Really? Why?”
I take a deep breath and try to find the right words to explain the complex mess of emotions swirling inside me. “I guess I never wanted to do it with someone I wasn’t that into. Sex is a big deal to me. Call me old-fashioned, but I want my first time to be with someone special. Someone I have a real connection with. Not a girl who will break up with me after she gets what she came for.”
Elliot peers up at me with wide eyes. “So, then, why with me?”
“You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re kind. You see the real me—not just the hockey player or the popular guy, but the dorky, pun-loving goofball who geeks out over rom-coms with his little sister.” I step closer and cup his face with my free hand. “When I’m with you, it’s like coming home. I can finally breathe and be myself.”
Elliot’s eyes shimmer with unshed tears. “Gerard…”
“I want you, Elliot. All of you. Your mind, your heart, your body. I want to share myself with you in every way possible. Because you’re not just anyone to me. You’re…everything.”
A single tear slips down Elliot’s cheek, and I gently brush it away with my thumb. He leans into my touch, nuzzling his face into my palm. “I want you too. So much. You have no idea.”
Joy and desire surge through my veins like liquid fire. I lean in to capture Elliot’s lips in a searing kiss that leaves us both breathless. When we finally break apart, I rest my forehead against his and savor the sweet scent of his cologne.
“Oh, I have some idea,” I murmur with a playful grin. “A pretty big one. And it’s all because of you.”