Chapter 27
27
ELLIOT
K now that saying, “The walls have ears?” Well, as it turns out, they also have bitches with phones.
I’m trying to reshelve books in the psychology section, but it’s hard to concentrate with all the whispering and giggling happening behind me. I glance over my shoulder and see a gaggle of Gerard’s groupies huddled together and staring at me. Real subtle.
“God, what does Gerard even see in him?” one of them stage whispers. “He has no muscle tone.”
My face flushes with anger and humiliation. It’s not my fault I don’t have a hockey player’s physique. We can’t all spend every day in the gym sculpting our glutes. Some of us have jobs—important jobs—like putting away books so ungrateful twits can find the latest pop psychology bestseller to validate their vapid little lives.
I straighten up and turn around, crossing my arms. “Can I help you ladies with something? This is a library, not an art gallery. The book stacks are for browsing titles, not my backside.”
They titter and elbow each other.
“Ooh, kitty’s got claws!” The ringleader smirks. She’s a platinum blond in designer clothes and reeks of entitlement. “Better be careful, or we’ll have to tell Gerard his little boy toy is nothing more than a child.”
Her cronies snort and guffaw.
“Laugh it up all you want, but nothing you say or do will make Gerard dump me. He’s not shallow. Now, if you’re not going to check anything out, I suggest you leave before I call security and have you escorted out.”
The queen bee rolls her eyes. “Whatever. This place is lame, anyway. Come on, girls, let’s get frappés and think up some more hashtags for the Ice Queen’s next post about Gerard.”
They flounce out in a cloud of perfume and disdain, but I know they’ll be back. They always come back. Ever since Gerard told the world I was his boyfriend, my life has become a reality show for his obsessed fans.
I’m constantly being watched, photographed, and gossiped about. My every move is dissected for hidden meaning. What does it say about my relationship with Gerard that I wore that shirt today? Why did I order a salad for lunch—am I secretly an anorexic? Who was that guy I was talking to—am I cheating on him? It’s exhausting and infuriating.
But what’s even worse is knowing that it’s tearing Gerard up inside to see me harassed. He thinks he’s responsible—as if it’s all his fault for being too famous and popular. But in his defense, he can’t help being so gorgeous and talented that he has legions of rabid fans willing to do anything to get his attention.
Last night, after a particularly nasty comment on the Ice Queen’s blog speculating that I must be blackmailing him into dating me, Gerard was beside himself with guilt and anger. He paced around his bedroom, his massive hands clenched into fists and his chiseled jaw tight with tension.
“That’s it, I’ve had enough,” he growled. “I’m going online right now and telling those losers to back off. They need to leave you alone and mind their own business.”
He reached for his phone, but I stopped him, placing my hand on his bulging bicep. “Don’t, Gerard. It’s not worth it. ”
“Not worth it?” he exclaimed incredulously. “Elliot, they’re making your life miserable! They’re spreading lies and attacking your character. I can’t sit back and let that happen to the man I care about.”
My heart fluttered at his passionate declaration, but I stood my ground. “I appreciate you wanting to defend my honor, but please, think about it. If you engage with them, it’ll only make things worse.”
“So, what? I’m supposed to do nothing while they rip you to shreds?”
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “I know it sucks, but eventually, they’ll get bored and move on to the next scandal. Then I’ll be old news. We just have to wait it out.”
Gerard’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “I hate that this is happening to you because of me. I’m so sorry.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my cheek against his firm pecs. “You have nothing to apologize for. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to date the hottest hockey player on campus. I can handle a few mean girls and gays with too much time on their hands.”
He laughed and pulled me closer, enveloping me in his warmth and strength. “Have I mentioned lately how amazing you are? I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”
I tilted my head back and smirked up at him. “You’re not too bad yourself, superstar. Now, what do you say we stop worrying about stupid gossip blogs and put your king-size bed to good use?”
His eyes darkened with desire, and he growled playfully. But I knew that wouldn’t be the end of it. Not by a long shot.
“Hey, Elliot.”
I turn around and see Oliver take a seat at the table the girls had been sitting at. “What are you doing here?”
“Uh…checking out a book?” His eyes dart around for a book. “That one. ”
I follow his finger to a book sticking halfway off the shelf. “ Menopause and You: Embracing the Change ?”
Oliver’s cheeks flush a deep red, and he rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah, that’s the one. I’ve been having some awful hot flashes lately.”
I cross my arms and scowl. “Cut the crap, Oliver. Why are you really here? Did Gerard ask you to check up on me?”
He sighs and drops the act. “Yeah, he did. He’s worried about you, man. We all are. His fans have been pretty brutal lately.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m fine. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Come on, Elliot. This can’t be easy for you. Suddenly being in the spotlight? Having your every move scrutinized and criticized by strangers on the internet? It’s a lot for anyone to deal with.”
I shrug. “I knew what I was signing up for when I started dating Gerard. It’s not as if his fame is news to me.”
Oliver leans forward to rest his elbows on the table, and my eye twitches. I hate it when people do that—including Gerard. “But knowing about it and experiencing it are two very different things. Having random people speculating about your sex life and body image issues? That’s gotta sting.”
I wince, remembering some of the more vicious comments I’ve read about myself online. “Yeah, it’s not great. But what can I do? If I let it get to me, they win.”
“True, but that doesn’t mean you must go through it alone. You’ve got friends who care about you and want to support you. Like me and Gerard.”
I soften slightly at that. “I know. And I appreciate it. But I don’t want you guys fighting my battles for me or getting dragged into this mess. It’s bad enough that Gerard is already a target.”
“I get that. But at least let us be there for you when you need to vent or take your mind off things. Don’t shut us out. We’ve got your back no matter what those haters say.”
A rush of gratitude and affection for this big lug overcomes me. For all of them, really.
My boyfriend and his teammates. His friends. My friends. “Thanks, Oliver. That means a lot.”
“Anytime, bro. Now, about this menopause book…”
Two days later, I’m heading out of the Hockey House to go to class. The cold air nips at my nose, and I pull my scarf tighter around my neck.
“Hey, Elliot! Wait up!”
I glance over my shoulder to see Kyle jogging toward me. He’s wearing a puffy North Face jacket that makes him look like the Michelin Man’s jockier cousin. I raise an eyebrow as he falls into step beside me. “What’s up, Kyle? You need something?”
He shakes his head, his breath puffing out in little clouds. “Nah, I’m headed in the same direction. Figured we could walk together.”
I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously. Kyle isn’t exactly known for his warm and fuzzy personality. He’s more of a grunt and nod kind of guy. That he’s voluntarily seeking out my company sets off alarm bells in my head.
“Did Gerard put you up to this? Is he still on that kick about me needing a bodyguard?”
Kyle scoffs and rolls his eyes. “No, dude. Contrary to popular belief, not everything revolves around your boyfriend.”
“Sorry. I’m just kinda on edge these days.”
“Yeah, I get it. Those puck bunnies can be brutal. But for real, I’m not here because Gerard told me to be. I just…” He trails off and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.
“You just what?”
He sighs and shoves his hands in his pockets. “You remind me of Alex, okay? You’re both small guys, the perfect targets for bullies, but you do your best not to let it get to you, even when they’re coming at you hard. It’s admirable. ”
I blink in surprise. “Oh. Wow. Thanks, I guess?”
“I know I can be kind of a grump sometimes?—”
“Sometimes?” I interrupt with a smirk.
He shoots me a halfhearted glare before continuing. “—but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. Alex is a brother to me, and I’d do anything to protect him. The same goes for you now, by extension.”
“Wow. Who knew the hockey team’s resident Grumpy Cat has a heart of gold underneath all that snark?”
He shrugs, but I can see the hint of a smile forming. “Yeah, well, us gays gotta stick together, right? Especially in the face of adversity and all that bullshit.”
I laugh and bump my shoulder against his. And then it hits me. Us gays? “Wait, you’re gay?”
Kyle pins me with an expression that says I’m the biggest idiot on the planet. “Uh, yeah? Did you think I was just an extremely passionate ally or something?”
I sputter, trying to wrap my head around this revelation. “But…but you’re so…I mean, you don’t seem…”
“What, I don’t fit your stereotypes of how a gay guy should act? Newsflash, Elliot, we don’t all prance around in pink and glitter.”
“No, that’s not what I meant! I just—I had no idea. Does Gerard know?”
Kyle snorts derisively. “Of course, Gerard knows. The whole team knows. Alex, too.”
My jaw drops open. “Even Alex knows? Wow. I think I’m the last one to get the memo.”
“Maybe if you pulled your head out of your books once in a while, you’d pick up on these things.” He says it jokingly, but there’s an undercurrent of truth that bites.
“I’m observant!” I protest weakly. “I notice…stuff.”
“Uh-huh. Sure you do.” Kyle picks up his pace, his long legs effortlessly carrying him ahead of me.
I have to do an awkward little half jog to keep up with him. “ Hey, wait! I have so many questions! Like, how did you know? And when did you come out? Do your parents know?”
Kyle groans and walks even faster, leaving me trailing behind him. “God, you’re annoying. This isn’t Twenty Questions, Elliot. I’m not going to spill my entire life story simply because we happen to play for the same team.”
“But—”
“No buts!” He whirls around suddenly and jabs a finger at my chest. “Listen up, pipsqueak. Just because we’re both gay doesn’t mean we’re going to be besties now, braiding each other’s hair and talking about boys. I’m still the same sarcastic asshole I’ve always been.”
I hold my hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay! Message received. No heart-to-hearts.”
He eyes me warily for a moment before giving a curt nod. “Good. Glad we got that straight. Or, well, not straight, but you know what I mean.”
I can’t help but laugh at that, and after a beat, Kyle joins in, albeit reluctantly. It isn’t until I get to my class that I realize letting that little truth bomb slip was Kyle’s plan all along. I’ve completely forgotten about being the talk of the campus.
A nice warm cup of coffee would do wonders for me right now. But I don’t want to walk into The Brew. Not after the day I’ve been having. It’s only a few days before Thanksgiving, and I had hoped the rumors about Gerard and I being an item would have blown over by now.
If anything, they’ve only gotten worse.
What were once whispers and subtly snide remarks have escalated into outright comments to my face that Gerard deserves to be with someone better, cooler, and more attractive. I don’t know if it’s because they want Gerard themselves or if it’s more about them seeing me as a threat to his chances of winning another Frozen Four. Either way, it’s been wearing me down.
Gerard, bless his heart, has been doing everything he can to make me smile. Date nights, movie nights, even reading my favorite books aloud and blushing at the steamy parts. H e ’s been the best boyfriend I could have ever asked for and puts all the men in my favorite romance novels to shame.
As I continue hovering outside The Brew, debating whether to brave the storm of judgmental stares and snide remarks inside, another member of the Hockey House seeks me out.
This time, it’s Drew Larney in all his cocky, flirtatious glory. He’s wearing a backward baseball cap, a pair of black joggers, and a smirk that says he knows exactly how good he looks. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Elliot Montgomery, one-half of the campus’s It couple.” He stops in front of me and places his hands on his hips. “What are you doing loitering out here like a lost kitten?”
“I’m not loitering. I’m…contemplating.”
“Contemplating what? Whether to grace The Brew with your adorable presence? I’m sure they’re dying to coo all over you in there.”
“More like dying to serve me a piece of their mind.”
Drew’s eyes narrow. “Fuck them. They don’t know shit.”
I shrug. “Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m not?—”
“Stop right there,” Drew interrupts, holding up a hand. “Don’t even finish that sentence, Elliot. You are more than good enough for Gerard. In fact, he’s lucky to have you .”
The intensity in his voice catches me off guard. I’ve never seen Drew so forceful. “You think so?”
“I know so. He lights up whenever you’re around. It’s disgusting, really. But it’s also proof that you make him happy. And that’s all that matters. Or, at least, it should. Now, how about we get you that coffee you’re clearly dying for?”
I hesitate, glancing at the crowded interior of The Brew. “I don’t know… ”
“Tell you what. You wait out here, and I’ll grab your usual. My treat.”
Before I can protest, he strides toward the entrance and pushes open the door with a confident swagger that only Drew Larney can possess. Through the glass window, I watch him approach the counter and flash a charming smile that makes the barista giggle and flutter her lashes.
Within minutes, he’s back outside with a small, steaming cup of coffee in his large hand. “Here you go, kitten.”
I take it gladly but scowl at his term of endearment. “I’m not a kitten.”
“You totally are.” He throws an arm around my shoulders and walks back to the Hockey House with me.
I take a sip of the coffee, and it’s exactly how I take it. I have no idea how Drew knows my usual order, but I’m grateful for his unexpected show of support.
“Think about it,” Drew continues. “You’re small, cute, and enjoy curling up with a good book. Total kitten behavior.”
I shoot him a sidelong glance. “I am not small or cute. And lots of people enjoy reading.”
“True, but not everyone gets that adorable little crinkle between their eyebrows when they’re concentrating really hard on a page.” Drew grins and pokes my forehead. “See? You’re doing it right now.”
I swat at his hand, much like a kitten would, and fight back a smile. “Shut up. I do not have a crinkle.”
“You do. I consider it your signature move. That, and the grumpy pout.”
“I don’t pout.”
Drew laughs heartily at my pout. “You’re kinda proving my point here, kitten. Embrace it. Own your inner feline.”
“Fine, if I’m a kitten, then what are you? A hyperactive golden retriever?”
“Please,” Drew scoffs. “I’m clearly a peacock. Majestic, confident, and impossible to ignore.”
I snort into my coffee. “Try cocky, loud, and always trying to get laid.”
“Exactly!” Drew grins, showing no shame. “See, you get me. But seriously, don’t let those assholes get to you. Elliot. They’re just jealous that Gerard snagged the cutest kitten on campus.”
I elbow him lightly in the ribs. “Enough with the kitten thing.”
“Never.” Drew smirks. “For real, though, you’re awesome. Don’t let anyone make you doubt that.”
“Thanks, Drew. I appreciate you saying that.”
“I only speak the truth, my friend. Unless I’m trying to get into your pants, then I’ll totally embellish.”
I’m sprawled out on Gerard’s bed, my head propped up on my hand as I watch him move around the room. I should be focusing on this short story for my creative writing class, but I find myself easily distracted.
Gerard’s been tidying up all day, picking up stray articles of clothing and humming a catchy pop song under his breath. I think it’s “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift, but his unique rendition makes it hard to be sure.
What I am sure of, though, is that Gerard is completely, gloriously naked. And I can’t take my eyes off him.
His broad back faces me as he bends over to grab a wayward sock, offering me an optimal view of his ass. It’s a thing of beauty—all round and firm and perfectly proportioned. Sensing my heated gaze, Gerard straightens up and turns to face me.
“You’re fucking gorgeous, Gerard.”
His blush spreads down his neck and onto his chest. He rubs the back of his neck, a nervous habit that I find utterly endearing, and glances down at his curling toes. “You’re just saying that because you have to. ”
I frown and sit up, patting the space beside me. “Come here.”
He obeys, sitting on the edge of the bed, still not quite meeting my eyes. I scoot closer and cup his face, forcing him to look at me.
“I’m not,” I tell him firmly. “I mean every word. You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, inside and out.”
His eyes search mine for any hint of deception. Finding none, he leans into my touch.
“I think the room is tidy enough for now, don’t you?”
Gerard follows my gaze. “But I’m not done yet. I still have to put away my?—”
“Gerard, the room is fine. More than fine. It’s perfect…same as you. Now, let’s get down and dirty.”
He blinks, surprised by the sudden about-face. “Well, since you asked so nicely…”
As he stands up and stretches, my eyes zero in on his pebbled nipples standing at attention. Gerard always needs a window open because of how hot his body runs, but I’m not complaining.
“I never really understood nipples, but yours are kinda doing it for me.”
“My nipples?” Gerard raises his eyebrows in surprise and tilts his head. “Elliot Montgomery, do you have a nipple kink I don’t know about?”
He slowly climbs onto the bed, his tall body looming over me. He positions himself close to my face, allowing me to see the lust in his eyes. “No. I have a Gerard kink.”
His lips curve into a pleased grin. “Is that so?”
“Mhm.” I reach out and trace the swell of his pec. My fingers graze over the hard nub at the center, and Gerard inhales sharply. “I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to every inch of you.”
“God, Elliot,” he groans, closing his eyes as I continue my exploration of his pecs. “You can’t just say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it makes my dick hard. ”
I glance down, and sure enough, Gerard’s penis is coming to life. “I like making your dick hard.”
Peering over his shoulder, I watch as his toes curl again. I grin, incredibly pleased with myself for having such an effect on Gerard. But my smile fades when he groans and slumps down onto the bed, burying his face into a pillow.
His big dick becomes wedged between his body and the mattress, and his large hands get tangled up in his blond hair. I can tell from the slump of his shoulders that something is bothering him.
“Elliot,” he mumbles, his voice muffled by the pillow. “We need to talk about how you’re doing with all this public attention on you.”
I sigh, my arousal cooling as the conversation takes a serious turn. I knew this was coming. Gerard has been endlessly concerned about what I’ve been dealing with. While I’d do anything to ignore it all and lose myself in his naked body, I know we can’t avoid the topic forever.
I flop onto my back beside him and stare up at the ceiling. “I talked to Oliver about it. And Kyle. And Drew.”
Gerard turns his head to the side to stare at me. “And what did they say?”
“They were all surprisingly supportive. Oh, and Drew called me a kitten.”
“A kitten?” Gerard’s lips twitch.
“Yep. Apparently, I’m small and cute and enjoy curling up with a good book. Total kitten behavior.”
Gerard laughs loudly. “He’s not wrong. You are pretty adorable.”
“Shut up. I am not adorable.”
“Yes, you are. My adorable little kitten.” Gerard reaches out to ruffle my hair, and I swat his hand away.
“I will bite you,” I warn, narrowing my eyes at him.
“Promise?” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively .
See, this is what I love about Gerard. No matter how heavy the conversation, he always finds a way to make me smile.
He pushes himself onto his elbow, his large hand resting on his gorgeous face, and studies me in a way he hasn’t before. “In all seriousness, though, how are you holding up?”
I grab Gerard’s other hand and trace idle patterns on his palm as I gather my thoughts. His skin is warm and incredibly smooth. “Honestly? It sucks. I hate being under a microscope all the time.”
Gerard’s fingers curl around mine, stilling their restless movements. “I’m so sorry, Elliot. I never meant for you to get caught up in all this.”
I glance up at him through my lashes. “I know you didn’t. It’s not your fault the Ice Queen put me on blast.”
“But it is.”
“What do you mean?”
Gerard sits up and scrubs his face with his hands. “When she wrote about me following you back to the library the night we carved pumpkins with Alex, I may have written her back and accidentally let slip your name.”
I rear back, surprised. “You what?”
“I didn’t mean to. I just wanted her to focus on me, not you.”
I want to be mad at him. I want to tell him that his being stupid is what’s gotten me into this mess. But truth be told, it’s not. I chose to enter a relationship with the one man on campus who is more popular than Zac Efron. I wanted to be Gerard’s boyfriend. I kissed him back at the Halloween party, knowing full well that other people were watching.
“What’s done is done. We can’t put the genie back in the bottle, so?—”
“We might as well make the most of it,” Gerard finishes for me.
“And how should we do that?”
“By inviting you to Elk Valley to meet my parents over Thanksgiving dinner?” He stares at me with such hope that there’s no way I can say no. And I wouldn’t even if I wanted to. My mom is working, so there’s no reason for me to go home to Boston.
“You, my dear Gerard, are a genius.”
A wide grin takes over his face. “A genius with a big dick?”
He works his pelvic muscles and makes his dick, which is surprisingly still rock hard, wag like a puppy’s tail.
“Eh. Don’t flatter yourself. I’ve seen bigger.”
Gerard lets out the biggest gasp before telling me all about how he flatters himself.