If Tomorrow Never Comes

Chapter Twenty-Eight Elliott

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Elliott

“Evening, everyone. Welcome to our support group. Looks like we have a few new faces here tonight, so why don’t we go around the room and introduce ourselves?”

Elliott sat stiff as a board in the uncomfortable folding chair, scraping at her thumbnail. Averting her gaze, she hoped someone else would start them off. She didn’t know what to say about herself. Just her name? How old she was? Her job?

This was a cancer survivor support group ... Should she tell everyone what cancer she had and how long she’d been cancer-free? Or would they avoid the subject completely and pretend they were just regular people getting to know each other?

The woman sitting to her left raised her hand with a joyful chuckle. “I’m not new, so I’ll go first. I’m Keri and I’m a six-year survivor of breast cancer.”

Elliott peeked over at Keri while she spoke. She had short black hair and looked to be in her midthirties. Massive gold hoops dangled from her ears, swinging as she spoke animatedly. “I’m from Miami but have been here in Omaha for the last three years. Husband’s job moved me from the beach to this flyover state, but I gotta say, it’s grown on me. Except in the winter.”

A chorus of laughs went around the room. Elliott smiled.

“I’m a physical therapist and mom to two little boys. And I’ve been coming to this group for ... What is it, Joe?” She peered at the man who had greeted everyone and introduced himself as the group organizer. “Year and a half?”

“Sounds about right,” Joe said. “Who’s next?”

Might as well get it over with.

“I’ll go. I’m Elliott and I’m from Lincoln. I just moved to Omaha a few months ago. I’m a graphic designer for small businesses. I was first diagnosed with leukemia when I was seventeen, and after a stem cell transplant last year, I’ve been cancer-free for almost a year and a half.”

“Welcome,” Joe said with a smile.

The remaining twelve attendees introduced themselves, and Joe took the floor again. Elliott mostly listened during the remainder of the meeting, thankful the rest of the questions to the group were sort of a free-for-all and answer-if-you-feel-comfortable type. She wanted to get a feel for how things went before she put herself out there, but she had to admit it was nice to hear others speak aloud some of the things she’d dealt with in the last year.

When the meeting was over, Keri approached her.

“Nice to see another young woman,” she said with an awkward laugh. “I was beginning to think I was the only one my age around here who’d had cancer.”

Elliott grinned. The rest of the group had primarily been older women and men, with one younger man in his twenties. He’d disappeared as soon as the meeting was over.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said. “My, um ... boyfriend found this group for me. I’ve struggled a little with anxiety since the transplant but never looked into a support group like my doctor suggested. I think it took another voice suggesting it to get me moving.”

“I get that. We go through so much during treatment, seems like we should be able to handle the aftermath no problem, doesn’t it?”

Elliott nodded. “Exactly. It doesn’t feel right that I can go through everything a stem cell transplant entails, but I can barely sleep in an apartment by myself.”

Keri’s dark eyes softened with compassion. “I know exactly what you mean.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a vibrating phone. “I’m so sorry, but it’s my husband. He’s got the kids ...” She scrunched her nose and her eyes went wide.

Elliott laughed.

Keri reached in her purse again and pulled out a business card. “I’d love to chat some more. Have another friend in the city who’s been where I have. Text me sometime if you want to meet up.”

“That sounds great. Thank you.”

Keri smiled and waved as she turned and answered the call. Elliott slid the card into her back pocket and left shortly thereafter.

She drove back to the apartment complex feeling lighter, something she hadn’t even known she needed. She’d been so happy with Jamie these last few weeks, but having someone else to talk to who’d been through cancer treatment was a huge relief.

“You can talk to me about anything,” Jamie had said when he told her about the group. “But there are some things I’ll probably never understand. Here’s the information if you ever want to give it a try.”

So she had, and she was glad she did.

The next month was one of the best of Elliott’s life. She and Jamie fell into a routine, rotating whose apartment they stayed at (Hank was welcome at both) and having takeout from the Indian food place at least once a week.

In mid-October they went back to his favorite trees, and she brought her camera. As Jamie promised, the leaves had turned a bright orange-red, standing out in stunning contrast against the green grass and blue sky. She printed and framed two copies of her favorite shot, hanging one on the wall of her room and giving the other to Jamie.

She shared several meals with his family—some with his mom, and some with Blythe and her husband and son. She had yet to meet his dad or brother, but knowing how Jamie felt about them, didn’t mind him taking his time on that front. Getting to know the people who were important to him meant more to her, anyway.

She’d also gone to the cancer survivor group again, had a coffee date with Keri, and hadn’t struggled quite as much with anxiety, even on the weekend Jamie had traveled to visit an old college buddy. She’d signed a six-month lease on her apartment and started looking for one of those coworking office spaces to start using when working with clients.

Elliott knew what it was to have family who took care of her, but she’d never known the dedication and attention of a lover. A passionate one, at that. Nights spent in his arms were her favorite part of the day, followed closely by getting ready beside him in the morning.

“What do you say we have a date night tonight?” Jamie asked one such morning. His toothbrush hung out of the side of his mouth, and Elliott leaned close to the mirror, applying mascara.

“Sounds like a lot of work,” she said, only half joking.

He laughed. “Counter proposal: How about we roam around a bookstore for a while? Then get takeout and come back for ... other stuff?” He waggled his brows.

“Where did I find you? I literally can’t think of a better way to spend the evening.”

“Are we nerds?”

She grinned at his adorable, unconcerned face. “If we are, I don’t care.”

Her happiness was reflected in his return smile. “Me either.”

Eight hours later, they were on their second lap around a local bookstore, Jamie hefting around a basket growing alarmingly full of books.

“I might need a new bookcase,” Elliott observed.

“Excellent investment if you ask me.” He put down the basket at the end of a row and slid his hands into his pockets as he regarded the shelf. After a moment he reached up and grabbed one. “What about this one?”

She glanced over. “ Questions for Couples: Get to Know Each Other ? Do we need help in that area?”

“No. But it might be fun to talk through some of this stuff.” He flipped it open. “For example, I’d probably never think to ask what fruit and vegetable you’d combine to create a fruitable.”

“Yeah, because that’s a super weird question.”

He consulted the book again, then glanced up with a gleam in his eye. “How soon did you have erotic thoughts about your current partner?”

Sooner than she wanted to admit. “When you ate our soufflé and made all those sexy noises.”

His throat bobbed on a heavy swallow. “You started it.”

“Is that your answer, too?”

He shook his head. “Before that.”

She felt the tingle that shot through her from the top of her head to the backs of her knees. How many feet separated them across this aisle? Two? Three? “When?”

“When you argued with me about pies at the bar.”

The urge rose up to ask him to describe those erotic thoughts in detail, but she tabled it for later. “You still like arguing about that.”

He grinned. “I do.”

They stared at each other for a prolonged beat, and she huffed out a breath. “What else you got?”

“What’s your most treasured possession?”

“A vintage nineteenth-century copy of Pride and Prejudice .” She’d been so scared it would get lost or damaged in the move that it was still at her parents’ house. “I bet I can guess yours.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Hank.”

He laughed. “He’d like to think so.”

She cocked a brow. “Am I wrong?”

“No.” He flipped a few more pages. “What did you think was stupid until you tried it?”

“Wordle.”

He laughed. “Blythe was so into that for a while. Mine’s La Croix.”

“The drink?” Now that she thought about it, he did have several flavors in his fridge at all times.

“Yeah. For so long I was like, ‘It’s fancy water; what’s the big deal?’” He pursed his lips in disappointment. “Then I tried it. The Passionfruit is fucking delicious.”

“You’re adorable, you know that?”

He seemed to fight a smile, trying to keep up whatever annoyance he wanted to have about his addiction to carbonated beverages. “Okay, last one’s the best one. If you could pick the perfect location for a first kiss, where would it be?”

“Outside, against the brick wall of a hotel in downtown Omaha.”

His lips tipped up in a soft smile, his gaze warming, the silliness from a few seconds ago gone. “Best first kiss of my life.”

“Same.” Still, butterflies filled her belly when she thought about it. “But if you’d asked me that question before that night, I’d have said the library.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You know, like those scenes in the movies where a couple finds some stack in the back and makes out against the shelves? I always wanted to disappear with a guy like that in a place where everyone’s supposed to behave and follow the rules. I guess the thought of a mean librarian catching us made it seem super exciting.”

One brow notched up, and he slid his fingers across his jaw. “Wanna hit the library after this?”

She gave him a saucy smile. “I don’t know ... Doesn’t seem all that different from a bookstore.”

He dropped the book in the basket and slowly approached her, checking the aisle to make sure they were alone. Her eyes remained locked on his, playful and welcoming. She wasn’t much for PDA, but this back corner of the store was empty, and she’d never not want to kiss this man.

He stopped with his feet bracketing hers, their chests brushing as her back pressed against the wood. An audible sigh left his throat when he dipped his head to whisper in her ear, “I think I love you more than books.”

“You think ?”

“I do. I definitely do.”

“That’s a lot of love.”

“Mm-hmm.” He gently nudged her nose with his. “What would you pick? Books or me?”

Her arms roamed up his back. “What kind of books?”

“Wow.” His voice held a trace of humor. “Um, mystery?”

“You.”

“Sci-fi.”

“You, for sure.”

“Self-help.”

“Definitely you.”

“Romance.”

She sucked in a breath. “Oh. Um ...”

He cupped the back of her head and covered her mouth with his.

She pulled back a moment later, breathless. “Fine. You convinced me.”

Voices suddenly sounded to their left, and two people appeared at the end of the row. Jamie stepped back, but not quickly enough to hide what they’d been doing.

“Oops, sor—Jamie? Elliott? ”

It took Elliott a long second to process the familiarity of the face who looked back at her in surprise.

The ground seemed to drop from beneath her. Her first instinct was to grab for Jamie’s hand, but she quickly pulled back when Stephen’s eyes followed her movement.

“Hey, Stephen,” Jamie said smoothly. “Tara.”

Stephen just looked at them, impassive. “Are you two ...?”

She and Jamie hadn’t talked about how they might handle someone they knew finding out about their relationship. It was bound to happen, but she’d figured the more time that passed, the less of an ordeal it might be. Fewer side-eyes, less questions, minimal judgment.

Content in their bubble of romantic bliss, she’d pretended this exact scenario was unlikely and not something she needed to worry about. She and Jamie mostly kept to themselves, partly because they were both introverts who preferred staying in, but also because no matter how much they told themselves what they were doing was completely appropriate and consensual, it would raise eyebrows in front of a certain crowd.

This one, in particular.

Jamie’s voice startled her. “Yeah.” He sounded so calm, so sure. “We are.”

Elliott had seen Stephen only once at Starbucks since she’d told him she just wanted to be friends. He’d seemed completely fine—not bothered at all—but she’d also used the excuse that she was too busy with her business to date. Now here she was, obviously doing exactly that. She didn’t want to hurt Stephen, of course, but that was actually low on the list of concerns rapidly building in her mind. At the top of the list was—

“Does Carly know?” Tara asked.

No one spoke for a beat.

“It’s ... new,” Elliott managed. Her feelings for Jamie were anything but, but they didn’t know that. She and Jamie hadn’t acted on anything until after Carly moved, and she’d cling to that for all it was worth.

It also didn’t answer the question, but it seemed to be enough.

Stephen shrugged as if the shock had already worn off and he was totally fine with it. “Well. Cool.”

Tara was harder to read. She’d never seemed to like Elliott much, and a glint of disapproval shone in the gaze she swung back and forth between Elliott and Jamie, almost as if gauging the distance between them.

“Well, we’ll see you around,” Stephen continued, nudging Tara’s shoulder with his.

Jamie stepped forward. “Hey, wait.” Tara and Stephen paused. He glanced back at Elliott before turning to them again, a flash of guilt in those hazel depths. “I, um, haven’t talked to Carly since she left town, and like Elliott said, we just started seeing each other recently.” That part was true, at least. “I assume she’ll hear about it now, though, and I think it’s best if it comes from me. So please don’t say anything to her. Let me be the one to do it.”

Stephen lifted a shoulder again, as if he hadn’t planned to get up in anyone’s business in the first place. Definitely a you do you kind of guy.

Tara, on the other hand, pursed her lips together. She’d probably planned to have her phone in hand, dialing Carly’s number as soon as they hit the Travel and Leisure aisle.

“Please,” Jamie said again.

Thankfully, Tara finally nodded, and Stephen stepped in to usher Tara back the way they came.

Alone again, Elliott faced Jamie, whose usually confident stature now slumped in defeat. He just looked at her, a heavy sigh escaping his chest.

“Guess I have a phone call to make.”