If You Give an Artist a Killer Muse: A Dark Grumpy Sunshine Romance

Chapter 24

Rurik

“Your heart has been beating a little too fast for my liking. Have you been more active or pushing yourself more?”

Well, Doc. Let me tell you. I fucked this beautiful woman almost every night. Sometimes the fucking goes so hard I end up blacking out seconds after reaching Kingdom Come. So yeah. I’ve been pretty active lately.

Except for the past week. It’s been a week since I’ve seen or heard from Briar.

I sigh. “I’ve been incorporating more cardio into my workouts.” I’m not technically lying.

My doctor nods, typing something on his computer. “How are the meds I gave you?”

“They’re working well.”

“Good, I’ll prescribe you a refill. You should be able to pick it up after this appointment.” He prints something off and signs it before handing it over to me. “But please, slow down, okay? I know the drugs make you feel invincible at times, but please watch it.”

“Yeah, Doc,” I grumble, hopping off the table. “Thank you.”

After leaving my doctor’s appointment, I sent my mum a quick text to let her know that I’m still alive and healthy—well, as healthy as anyone with a bad heart can be. I’m still living and breathing, so there’s that.

I don’t feel like I have been for the past week.

Not since I asked Briar to leave during my art showcase.

The regret that slammed into me after she walked away from me is something I don’t want to feel again. But I feel like I keep saying and doing the wrong shit, and one of us gets hurt. Mainly her.

After she left, my mum and stepdad arrived minutes later. Talk about perfect timing. I didn’t want Briar and my stepdad in the same space together. The day of the airport — Briar shooting at my stepdad, him calling for backup — haunted me for ages. Still does.

I’m scared of them meeting again.

I’m scared of what my stepdad will do if he finds out I’m with Briar.

I’m scared of what Briar will do if she finds out I know the masked girl is her and that the senator she was trying to shoot is my stepdad.

I’m scared that Briar will get hurt this time.

Coward.

I don’t give a shit if that makes me a coward. I refuse to let anything lead to her destruction.

This woman goes out of her way to drive me to the one place I think is my little paradise. She”s the one who buys my paintings, only to donate them for others to enjoy. She”s the one who pursues me, who changes me, who makes me feel things I never thought possible.

How could she ever believe I”m ashamed of her?

With the way you’ve been acting, how can she not believe it, asshole?

I groan, throwing myself on the couch after coming home. Without thinking, I open my phone and type in Briar’s username. Pictures of her fill my screen, and I’m greedy for it. No matter how much I scroll, read her captions, and the replies she gives others; I want more.

I need more.

Fuck, I’m so pathetic.

I could text her… I could be the first person to reach out first.

God, I fucking miss her.

What is she doing now? Is she thinking of me? Has she found a new person to call her angel? Is she talking to fucking Jamie now? Fuck, I hope not. She’s too good for him.

She’s too good for you, too.

I don’t give a shit. She’s mine. She better fucking remember it.

I get up and feel a sudden urge to walk in the park. The doctor tells me I need to ease up on the cardio, but surely, a leisurely stroll won”t hurt, right?

Upon reaching the park, a sense of urgency envelops me. I put on my headphones and begin walking along my usual route. Yet, an instinctual pull leads me toward a trail I”ve never explored.

Soon, I find myself on an unfamiliar path, causing me to stop walking and furrow my brow in confusion. Removing my headphones, I check the location of my phone”s map.

Where the fuck am I, and why did I end up here? Why did I decide to be adventurous today and not stick to my usual route?

And then I heard it.

A melodic voice, laughing.

I turn off the music from the headphones and follow the voice.

“Oh my gosh, that’s so crazy!”

“Right? I’m serious. I’m never going fishing again.”

“Aww, that’s okay. Since I saw Finding Nemo, I’ve seen fishes as our friends.”

“That’s so cute, Briar. Are you a vegetarian?”

I stop, staring at the scene before me.

Briar is wearing black athletic shorts showing off her creamy thighs and a white unzipped sweater revealing a pink sports bra that does nothing to hide that cleavage.

I don’t know if I like that.

My eyes narrow. She’s talking to a guy, and his eyes keep sliding downward to her chest. I can’t help but feel annoyed at that bastard for looking at her like that, as if she’s some delicious, addicting candy.

I mean, she is… But that’s not the point.

Who the hell is this guy? And why does Briar have her hand on his arm? Is he another cousin of hers?

Briar throws her head back, laughing at whatever the man just said.

They obviously know each other. She can’t be that friendly with random people she just met, right?

“There’s a vegan restaurant I would love to take you. If you let me, that is.”

“Aww, Steve. It’s a date.”

Unexplainable anger surges through me, overwhelming and consuming.

Datemy fucking ass.

I quickly sent Briar a text.

ME:

-Don”t force me to remind you who the fuck owns you.

I watch as Briar pulls out her phone to check the notification I know she received. I watch her eyes widen, the number of times they blink repeatedly, and how her lips part into an O.

I swear I see her cheeks flush and her eyes brimming with lust. I think she will reply when her thumb hovers above the screen.

So imagine my fucking surprise when she scowls and stuffs her phone back inside her purse, zipping it close.

My fucking migraine.

Am I being hypocritical? Possibly. But the moment this Steve asshole offered to take my Briar on a fucking date, I’m past the point of caring.

*-*-*-*

As soon as I left Nat and Oscar’s place — after begging them for their help and telling them the truth about me and Briar — I got what I needed.

After Briar left my showcase, she changed her locks. She was quick-thinking; I’ll give her that. I came over the next day to apologize in person, but I was surprised to find that the keys she gave me didn’t work.

Now, desperate times call for desperate measures. She can’t keep herself away from me. I refuse.

Here I am, entering her apartment without permission like some sick asshole. I lock the door, looking around and breathing in slowly. I see my paintings on her wall and note how neat and tidy she likes to keep things.

God, the place smells like her. I can”t believe I miss it here.

I”m about to rummage through her kitchen cabinets, just like she did mine the last time when the door jiggles.

Shit!

She’s home earlier than I thought.

I quickly look around, darting across the kitchen and ducking underneath the table.

As soon as the door opens, the oxygen in my lungs vanishes as I watch the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen walk in.

Fuck.

I am fucked.

I’ll keep repeating it. And Again. And again. And again.

I am one motherfucker who is fucked.

I’m such an idiot. What fucker thinks it”s a good idea to sneak into someone else”s property? Oh, right. Me. I”m the idiotic fucker.

Briar closes the door behind her with her foot, drops her keys on the coffee table, and releases a tired sigh.

The sound goes straight to my dick, and I have to adjust myself.

She turns and pads her way to the kitchen. I crawl from under the kitchen table so she won’t see me.

As soon as her back is to me, I stand up with a grunt.

“Who the fuck was he?”

She whirls around, her hand on her chest, and her jaw drops at seeing me. “Rurik? What the fuck… How did you get here?”

I close the distance between us until I”m caging her in against the counter with my arms on either side of her. “Not important. Now answer the fucking question.”

She stares at me, blinking as if waking up from a hazy daze.

“We’re supposed to be exclusive, remember?” I say harshly, leaning down as my lips barely brush against hers.

She places her hands on my chest — and I”m not ashamed to admit just how much I missed the warmth radiating from her touch — and forcefully pushes me away.

I watch her closely, my eyes tracking her every movement as she hurries around the kitchen table, putting distance between us. She raises a brow and scoffs, her eyes bright again. “What”s wrong, Rurik? First, you tell me to leave you alone. Now that I”m granting your wish, you”re still pissed?”

I rush towards her, growling in frustration as she darts behind the couch. “Briar!”

She flashes me a wicked grin. “Catch me if you can, Rurik.”

Is she fucking playing with me? Doesn’t she realize how fucking crazy I feel right now because of her?

“By the way,” She giggles when she dodges my reach. I release an angry grunt when she does it again. “That text you sent me? Fucking hot. I want to take a screenshot and upload it as my profile picture for everyone to see.”

She dashes around the coffee table, nearly tripping over one of its legs. In an instant, I”m there to catch her, enveloping her in my arms as she continues to laugh. I hold her tightly against my chest, her laughter vibrating against me and making me feel all sorts of things.

“Caught you,” I whisper against her ear. She squirms against my hold, turning around until her back is pressed firmly against my front.

“What has gotten into you?” She mumbles as my lips latch against her neck.

“You ignored me for a week, Briar,” I say, nibbling her earlobe. “You literally locked me out of your apartment.”

“You locked me out of your personal life,” She snaps, trying to elbow me off her.

I release a frustrated sound, shoving her against the wall. She lets out a surprise yelp as her breasts press against the wall.

“I didn’t,” My dick is painfully hard, and the feeling of her firm ass pressed against it isn’t helping.

“You and I might have remembered things differently,” Briar grumbles as she turns her face to glare at me over her shoulder.

I nip her jaw. “Who the hell was that guy?”

“What guy?”

“Don’t mess with me, Briar.” My hands on her hips tighten.

“Why not? You’re messing with me.” She sighs, tilting her jaw to allow my lips to press against the skin under her ear. “I”m just your dirty little secret. You use me and my body, then toss me aside. Don”t blame me if I want to find someone who wants me for me, you selfish—”

I whirl her around and crash my lips to hers, shutting her the fuck up. She releases a startled gasp, and I take advantage of that by shoving my tongue inside her mouth, swiping every inch I can reach. Her body finally relaxes against mine, and she wraps her arms around my neck.

Fuck.

Like I said hundreds of times… I’m so fucked.

But, as usual, I can’t stop.

I can’t stand the thought of someone else touching her. Someone else tasting her. Someone else hearing the beautiful melody she sings when touched a certain way. Someone else having her.

Since when have I become possessive toward a person? Never. This isn’t me. I never cared or felt like I was on the verge of committing murder toward anyone who breathed in her direction in a way I disapproved of.

I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I also don’t give a shit either.

She just makes me feel so crazy with her gasps, her touches…

“Rurik,” Briar breathes when I release her lips so I can focus on leaving my mark on her neck.

“Shut up,” I grunt, putting a leg between hers and rubbing my erection against her thigh like some horny teenager.

“Fuck,” She groans as my fingers tangle through her hair and pull. “I don’t know what’s happening with you, but I’m not complaining.”

She flashes me that sexy grin, and I almost came right then and there.

“You’re fucking mine, Briar. You would do well to remember that.”

Did I just fucking growl like some animalistic asshole? God, what the hell is she turning me into? Who am I anymore?

Briar dares to smirk. “Am I? That’s funny. I specifically remember you telling me before that I’m not your anything and that you’re not interested.”

I spread her legs apart, running my hand along her left thigh and lifting her knee. She responds by wrapping her leg around my waist. I thrust my strained dick between her legs, earning a moan from her as I continue to rock my hips against her in rhythmic motions.

“Does that feel like I’m not interested?” I bite on her neck, sucking on the battered skin.

She groans, her eyes dropping with lust as her lips part. I trail my lips to her jaw, then to her mouth, licking, nibbling, swallowing every sound she makes that makes me addicted.

“Your hot and cold behavior is so tiring,” Briar groans between kisses.

“You forgetting that you’re mine is tiring,” I grunt out roughly, pressing her tightly against the wall as she wraps her other leg around me. “If you let someone else taste you, baby, we are truly fucking over. I will fuck them up first, then we will be over. Is that clear?”

“Mmm. Love it when you talk dirty to me, angel.” She purrs, nibbling on my Adam’s apple.

“Briar!”

“I miss how you groan my name in that deep, husky voice.” Briar continues wickedly. “I love how possessive you get, angel. I guess you do care about me.”

I don’t say anything as I unwrap her legs around me so that I can shove her shorts and panties down. She gasps, her eyes wide with excitement and lust, when I hook my hands on her ass to lift her again.

She wraps her legs around my waist again. “Or… You just see me as an object and don’t like sharing your toys. Jesus. My feminist brain must be dead or something because I find that kind of hot, too.”

I do care about her. But also, I don’t like sharing.

She’s mine. She’s fucking mine. But it seems like I need to remind her as I stroke my hard cock once, twice, before thrusting inside her.

We both groan in unison, the feeling of her squeezing my dick as I immediately pound into her. I drop my forehead against her shoulder, her arms wrapping around my shoulders to keep her in place as I continue to fuck her against the wall.

“God, what have you done to me, baby?” I blurt out, the feeling of pleasure filtering my thoughts as I slide in and out of her. “You fucking undo me, you know?”

She just responds with a moan, cupping my face with her hands so she can lift my face to capture my lips. She kisses me softly, her tongue tracing the inside of my mouth before tangling with my tongue.

I kiss her back. Pouring everything I want to say out loud but can’t.

I’m sorry I can’t give you more.

I’m sorry I’m being a coward.

I’m sorry I’m scared.

I’m sorry I’m too selfish.

I’m sorry I’m like this.

I’m so sorry.

She pulls away, her lips swollen, cheeks flush, and eyes bright as she stares at me.

And then she smiles. Not her usual wicked or flirting one she loves teasing me with.

A genuine smile spreads across her face as if she isn’t tearing my fucking heart out of my chest and consuming it for herself.

I swallow hard, sweat prickling on my forehead as my body is lit on fire and my thrusts turn rougher and faster.

“There’s no one else for me, Rurik,” She whispers against my ear before kissing my Adam’s apple as I exhale heavily. “You’ve ruined me for other men.”

I shudder, holding her tightly against me as I come inside her. I feel her pussy throbbing around my dick, letting me know she’s coming with me. As I empty myself inside her, I kiss her just as fiercely as she’s kissing me.

We keep kissing until her legs begin to shake around me. I gently help her down but continue to press her against the wall while my lips lock against her jaw.

She tiredly groans, her legs buckling and bringing me down with her until we’re both just a puddle on the floor with our limbs tangled together and our lips touching every inch of each other”s faces.

When we finally pull away, Briar grins up at me.

I can’t stop grinning back as I trace the pout of her bottom lip with my thumb. “What are you doing to me?” I ask her with a sigh.

She leans back and smirks. “I knew you would fall for me.”

“Fall for you?” I raise a brow and scoff. “Someone thinks highly of themselves.”

“I was feeling high just moments ago, yeah.” She chirps, kissing under my jaw.

I roll my eyes before glaring. “You never answered my question. Who was that man you were speaking to at the park?”

Her lips twist smugly. “Why? Jealous?”

“Briar,” I growl.

“Ooh,” She playfully shudders. “Keep up with that sexy, rough voice.”

“Briar!” I warn again. “I swear to fuck, if you don’t tell me who the hell he is, you’ll see...” I trail off when her grin widens.

“See what?” Briar says, cocking her head sideways.

“What?”

“You said I’ll see. What will I see?” She grins, squeezing my cheek. “You did this last time. You don’t finish your sentence, and I’m getting impatient. I want to see!”

I growl and tickle her sides, earning a burst of laughter from her.

After a few minutes, she calms down, blinking up at me. Her eyes are beautifully bright, and her lips curve into a small smile.

Why does it feel like someone is pressing their fist against my ribs with just the way she”s looking at me? It”s unsettling. But... I can”t say I dislike it either.

God. Fucking. Damn it. I am fucked.

She giggles at the undoubtedly stupid expression on my face.

I sigh as I gaze at her.

Gorgeous. She’s so fucking gorgeous.

I inhale deeply, breathing in her sweet scent as I kiss her again.

“No one,” Briar finally answers me when I pull away. “He was a target. He used to work for Mr. Rogers, and I guess things didn’t end well.”

“So you were sent to kill him?” I ask with a sigh, placing a hand around her neck and tracing her throat.

She shrugs. “If I consider him a threat, yes. But I think he’s just an idiot that Rogers doesn”t have to worry about.”

“Do you do this a lot?” I ask, wanting to know everything about what she does.

Her eyes narrow. “What?”

“Kill people just because your boss asks you to?”

She rolls her eyes. “That’s kind of what a job entails, right? You do what the boss says.”

“Even if it’s not the right thing to do?”

“What is considered right, angel?” Briar asks with a shrug. “One group acts, convinced they”re saving the world with their good deeds. But then another group perceives them as villains, and they end up fighting because they believe what they perceive as right is worth fighting for... The exhausting cycle continues.”

I frown, tucking her waves behind her ear. “That’s a fucked up way of viewing the world, baby.”

Her eyes light up as her lips quirk into a smile, but she shrugs again. Leaning forward, she meets me halfway, and our lips press together again.

I scoop her up into my arms, a grin spreading across my face at her surprised giggles. Rising to my feet, I carry her toward the bathroom, her arms wrapping around me like a koala.