Chapter 33
Briar
Not to toot my own horn, but… Toot fucking toot.
I am the Queen of baking stuffed chocolate chip cookies. Rurik should be home soon after having brunch with his asshole stepdad, so I want to surprise him with his favorite cookies. I can’t wait to hear what the asshole has to say after Rurik told him about me. I wonder if Philip will even recognize my name…
Speaking of cookies, I take another bite and groan at the sweet taste. I made sure to use those so-called healthy, taste-like-sugar-but-it’s-fake types of chocolates because, though I don’t know much about heart health, I don’t want to risk anything that may cause his heart to fail him.
If I had known about his health all this time, I would have stayed away when I pursued him.
Who am I fucking kidding? I still would have gone after him like some love-sick puppy.
I still wish I knew, though. I was a little miffed when I found out Nat and Oscar knew the whole time. While Rurik was away, I called Nat and Oscar to update them on everything happening.
When I asked them why they never told me about Rurik’s health, they said it wasn’t their business to tell me. I asked Nat why she tried to warn me away from Rurik, and she confessed that that was part of it. She did believe he didn’t belong in our world and that his heart wouldn’t take it.
Obviously, she’s wrong because Rurik has an asshole of a stepdad, so he is part of our world… Fortunately and unfortunately.
I’m placing the cookies in a container when I hear the door open. I turn around to see Rurik walking in and fuck.
How can this man become more beautiful with each passing day?
“Hey, angel!” I greet him, taking a cookie and putting it on a plate. “Before you ask, yes. I stuffed the cookies with peanut butter cups. I may have eaten like five so far, sorry.” I turn around to give him his plate but pause. “Rurik?”
Normally, whenever he came home and smelled me baking something, he would tackle me out of the way to get to his true love — baked sweets.
So imagine my fucking surprise when I see him just standing there, one hand still on the door handle, and his face is blank and empty.
He’s not even looking at me.
“What happened?” I ask slowly, putting the plate down and walking over to him.
He releases a breath when I cup his face with my hands.
“I’ve been doing some thinking,” Rurik says, his tone lacking intonation.
“Don’t hurt yourself.”
He just stares, blinking.
I sigh, “What were you thinking about?”
Rurik releases another breath and moves his face away from my hands, finally closing the door behind him and walking over to the couch to sit. “Whatever we have is extremely toxic, Briar. It’s not good for our mental health, you know?”
I freeze. I can’t move. What the hell is happening right now?
He glances at me quickly before darting his eyes away again. He continues, “Besides, we were only physical, right?”
“Rurik, I think I have an ear infection.”
His head shoots up to finally look at me fully, confusion all over his face. “What?”
I sit beside him to show him my ears, “I could have sworn you said the most bullshit thing I ever heard, but it could just be my earwax.”
His face flushes red. “I’m not joking, Briar.”
“Neither am I. Besides, I thought I was your muse. You really wanna get rid of your inspiration, angel?”
“Get over yourself.”
“I’d rather you go over me, but okay.”
“Briar, stop. We have to end things.”
“You’re so fucking adorable, Rurik.”
He sputters and stands up. “What the fuck!”
“What?” I grin as I stand up with him and cross my arms. “I just think it’s adorable that you’re trying to say we’re over when you keep giving me fuck me eyes.”
“I’m not!” Rurik growls and shakes his head. He heads to the bedroom and gathers his clothes from the dresser. “I’m done. I want out of whatever the fuck this is.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s not an option,” I say, leaning against the door frame.
“I’m done, Briar,” Rurik snaps, roughly shoving his clothes inside his duffel bag.
“With this role-play? Same. Let’s do the student-teacher one.”
He turns to look at me and glares, “Briar!”
I dramatically inhale deeply and sigh. “God, I love it when you scream my name, angel.”
“You’re fucking crazy,” His face cracks for only a second before that mask of anger returns. “I’m serious, we’re over.”
“What did I tell you about this push-and-pull game you love to play?” I snap, walking over to him to grab his clothes from his hands and put them back. “Stop being such an asshole and tell me what this is really about.”
He falters but then shakes his head. “I told you! We’re over!”
“If your art career doesn’t work out, I don’t think you should pursue theater as your backup. You’re terrible at acting.”
“Briar,” Rurik warns as he grabs his clothes from my hands. But because I’m such a brat, I grab them back, and now we’re playing a game of tug-of-war with his clothes. His cheeks flush red with either annoyance or anger. “Let go…We’re over, damn it. Fuck… Can you… Briar!”
I drop my arms with a huff and raise a brow. “What is this about? Tell me.”
But he ignores me and stuffs his clothes in his duffel bag. His eyes cast downwards, and his lips press into a tight line. He looks… scared. Panicking, even.
We both stay silent as the sounds of the dresser opening and closing and the zippers of his duffel bag opening as he continues packing it.
I don’t look away from him. Something is wrong. And I bet it has to do with Philip because this morning, I woke up to Rurik peppering my face with a bunch of kisses before he left. After seeing his stepdad, he comes here and says we’re done?
Bullshit.
I close my eyes, channeling the same crazy Briar who broke down his walls from the beginning. I”ll admit what started with me relentlessly pursuing him to the point of tackling him in public bathrooms eventually led to me becoming more relaxed.
In other words, I chilled out when Rurik and I started fucking.
But I guess I chilled out for too long, and now Rurik thinks he can just up and leave — After yelling at me when I tried to end things.
Fucking hypocritical asshole.
I open my eyes to find Rurik glancing at me. When our eyes meet, he immediately looks away, his jaw ticking.
My lips curve. Jesus, he’s so hot.
And he’s about to get even hotter because I’m going to fuck him up — whether from anger or lust from what I’m about to do.
I clear my throat, and he stiffens.
I pull my shirt over my head, and it drops to the floor.
Oh, look, my bra goes along with it.
Rurik looks at me, his face tightening. “What are you doing?”
“It’s hot,” I say simply as I push my shorts and panties down. “Too much clothes.”
He releases a strangling sound and looks away. “Put your clothes on, Briar, for fucks sake.”
“As I said before, this is my place,” I chirp, standing completely naked now. “If I want to walk around in my birthday suit, I will.”
His hands are shaking, and he accidentally drops some of his belongings. Growling, he bends to pick it up. But before he could straighten up, I throw myself at him.
“What the fuck, Briar!”
“You love asking me that question, you know that?”
“Get off me!”
“No.”
“Briar! Get off of me, or I will destroy everything that matters to you!”
“Does that mean you’ll destroy yourself?”
“Wh-What? Fucking get off of me, you crazy psychotic woman!”
“Mmm, you’re the one pinning me down,” I thrust my hips against his erection and grin when he groans.
As if he realizes what he’s doing, he snatches his hands away and tries to stand up. But there I am, tackling him back to the floor with me on top of him.
“Briar!”
“Rurik!”
He curses under his breath, but I can’t help but notice the desire flashing in his eyes. “You’re fucking annoying!”
“And you’re being an asshole,” I whisper against his ear, licking his earlobe.
He shudders, and his breath hitches when I start nibbling his throat and sucking his Adam’s apple. “Mmm… Fuck… I fucking hate you.”
No, he doesn’t. But I’ll let him think that if it’ll get him to tell me what the fuck is on his mind and this change of behavior of his. He says he can walk in here and end things without giving me a reason?
Jesus, I kind of miss messing with him like this.
Rurik makes another sound that makes my pussy quiver and oof. Am I crazy? I’m not trying to have sex with him right now — but if it leads to that, who am I to stop it?
“Love when you talk dirty to me, angel.” I purr against his ear.
“Briar,” He growls as I roll my hips against his erection.
“I promised you I wouldn’t let anything come between us, remember?” I remind him, kissing his jaw. “That includes you, angel.”
Rurik finally stops struggling against me, and I quickly get off of him to reach for the bathrobe lying on the bed.
When I turn back, he”s already standing, running his hands through his hair in agitation and then tugging it. He opens his mouth as if to speak, but no words come out.
Instead, he mutters under his breath, shaking his head. His expression is one of frustration, on the brink of tears, and he tugs at his hair as if he might pull it out.
The sight is unsettling and disturbing.
What the fuck is wrong with him?
I stride to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Rurik. You’re scaring me. Tell me what happened?”
Rurik drops his hands to his side, staring at me.
His lips tremble, and his breathing becomes ragged. “We have to stop.”
“Stop what?”
”This,” he gestures between us, his eyes wild and wide. ”We have to stop this. Whatever this is between us. It wasn”t meant to last long.”
He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a few seconds, then reopens them, his mask firmly back in place.
Fucking great. My patience is wearing thin.
He forces me to let him go as he moves past me. I follow him out as he goes to the kitchen and opens the cabinet where we keep his pills.
“Why not?” I ask, trying hard not to sound annoyed and impatient.
“Boundaries, Briar,” Rurik warns, his back still turned to me. “You”re crossing them.”
“I think we crossed that line ages ago, don”t you?” I retort.
“Which is why we”re done,” He slams the cabinet shut and whirls around, only to collide with me as I stand against him. “Get the fuck out of my way.”
“No.”
“Move!”
“Make me.” Next thing I know, I’m pushed against the kitchen counter, my back digging the edge. “Holy fucking shit, I love when you get all aggressive on me, Rurik.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you!” His whole body is wound tight as he stares at me.
“Honestly? You not being inside me already.”
Rurik”s eyes widen as he releases a choked sound.
He reaches for a plate I had set out, then whirls around to hurl it across the kitchen with a frustrated shout. “You’re not listening to me, Briar! I’m serious. I can’t fucking be with you anymore!”
I stare at the plate for a second before narrowing my eyes, glaring at him.
I jab my finger against his chest, poking him hard with each word I say, “First of all, you better clean up that mess when we’re done talking, asshole. Second, I’m also serious. You’ll never get rid of me.”
Rurik releases a sob, shaking his head as he trembles. The mask he tried so hard to wear has cracked again, and he stares at me with anguish and fear.
I close the space between us, our noses barely touching as I stare at him. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me anymore. Really look at me, and tell me you want us to stop.”
He stares at me with those bright, blue, wide eyes. So full of pain and regret. His gaze dances across my face, pausing on my lips. I exhale softly, and his attention shifts to my gaze as he swallows hard.
“Tell me.” I snap.
“Briar,” Rurik whimpers.
And fuck, I really hate that we’ve had to reach here. But something tells me that if I don’t push Rurik if I don’t force him to tell me what the fuck is happening inside that head of his, he will just explode. One more push.
“Tell me you’re done with me, and I’ll find someone else to be my angel.”
The transformation is instantaneous.
Rurik”s brow shoots up, and his face curls into a different type of anger. His palms slam against the counter, his chest pressing firmly against mine as he cages me in, his breath coming out in heavy, uneven gasps.
“Like hell, you will, Briar.”
I fought the urge to grin. “You said we’re done, right? Okay, then. Off you go. I’ll find some other guy who would love—”
“In your fucking dreams.”
“Is that what we do in your dreams? Nasty boy.” I lean forward and suck on his throat like a starving vampire. “Well? Are you going to tell me?”
He falls silent. The only sound is his heavy, labored breathing.
“P-please, Briar.” He stutters as he confesses, “I’m s-scared. I… I don’t know what to do.”
I tense at the broken timbre of his voice and the tears spilling from his eyes. His facade falls away in defeat as he leans his forehead against mine, encircling me in his arms.
“Rurik…” I say softly. “What are you scared of?”
“He knows, Briar.” Rurik shakily says.
I freeze.
“My stepdad knows you’re part of those gangsters. He knows you’re after him. He threatened you and our friends. He’s going to come after you guys if we don’t end things now.”
“Then we’ll expose him ourselves,” I simply say, wiping his face with my thumbs. “I’m not scared of his threats, angel. You think we don’t know the shit he’s done? He’s done some bad things. People close to him have become our sources. Well — we”ve caught and coerced them, but still.”
But Rurik just shakes his head, “He’ll come after you and hurt you. I can’t… Please, don’t make this hard for me. I can’t have him hurt you.”
“Angel,” I murmur, kissing the tears away from his face. His arms tighten around me as he releases a heavy breath. “I don’t give a shit if he comes after me. I want him to.”
“I do. I give a shit. He’ll hurt you.” His words echo like a broken record, every word laced with desperation. “He’ll hurt you, Briar. He’ll fucking hurt you.”
“It’ll hurt me more not being with you.”
“Please.”
“No. You said so yourself, Rurik. You and I are infinite. We’re endless.”
“Briar, please.”
“We’re endless.”
“I was never scared, not even when I knew my heart would eventually fail me. But the thought of him causing you harm terrifies me beyond my death.”
“Stop talking like that. We’re endless.” I tell him. “Endless, remember? You told me.”
I reach up to kiss his chin, feeling his body shudder against me.
With each kiss, I whisper ”endless” against his skin, tracing the word from his Adam’s apple to his earlobe, jaw, tip of his nose, cheeks, and tears trailing down his face, covering every inch I can reach.
Until Rurik finally nods and whispers, ”We”re endless, baby.”
Then he catches my lips with his in a searing kiss, removes my bathrobe, and gently carries me to the couch to reconnect our bodies as one.
“I’m sorry about the plate,” Rurik mumbles against my mouth moments later, his thrusts slow and torturous.
I groan in both pleasure and disbelief. “Are you seriously thinking about that now while you’re inside me?”
The corner of his lips curls up slightly. “I promise to clean it up.”
“Goddamnit, Rurik,” I whine, meeting his hips with mine as I feel him go deeper. “Just fuck me, already.”
Rurik chuckles softly, kissing me as he slowly pulls out until the tip of his dick nearly falls out of my pussy, before driving it back in with force, making my body jolt with each thrust. He bites on my lower lip, his tongue tracing the sting away.
“Your pussy is made for me, baby,” Rurik grunts, sweat forming on his forehead as his thrusts pick up. “Fuck, you feel so good around my dick. So damn tight and warm…Mmmfuck. Being inside you feels like home,” he releases a low groan. His fingers dig into my thighs as his thrusts become more rough and uneven. “Mmm, I can’t believe I tried to end us. You’re mine.”
I grin. There he is.
He lifts my leg over his shoulder. “Fucking mine.”
He goes deeper, fucking me hard against the couch; I have to hold on to his biceps to stay in place. After a few more thrusts, his cock thickens inside me, and I can feel his release already dripping out of me as he continues to roll his hips.
He whispers with a groan, “Endless?”
“Endless,” I answer before I hold on tight and come along with him.