In a Rush

Chapter 34

chapter thirty-four

Emme

Today’s Learning Objective:

Students will be able to fake-smile and smuggle jewels.

I drove to Shay and Noah’s farm in Rhode Island with Ben and Grace, anchored down in the back seat of his truck with a pile of garment bags over my lap. I tuned out their conversation from the start and stared out the window as the city gave way to endless stretches of green and trees.

We’d start setting up when we arrived. If we stuck to Audrey’s schedule, we’d have the reception space finished well before tonight’s rehearsal kicked off. I was counting on the work to distract me. I didn’t need another minute alone with my thoughts.

When we turned down the lane to Twin Tulip and the grand old Victorian home that’d been renovated and expanded to house commercial kitchens and a ballroom looking out over acres of lush gardens and a small cove, a leaden ball of disappointment settled in my gut.

I’d hoped Ryan would fall in love with this weird, magical place the same way I had when I first visited. I’d never said it out loud because I wanted him to feel how special it was and insist we host our big wedding celebration here. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since the day Grace mentioned all of us getting married at the farm.

Just one more thing that won’t be happening .

Ben pulled around back to the service entrance—another addition since my last visit—and ordered us to wait while he unloaded the boxes in the back.

Grace leaned on the center console to shoot a smile at me. “Claustrophobic yet?”

I glanced at the heavy bags from the bridal boutique. “Surprisingly, no, but I haven’t been able to feel my toes for the last half hour.”

“They’re not all necessary.” She studied me for a second. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

I wanted to put on a good face for Grace. I wanted to sink into maid of honor mode and block and defend for my girl, so she didn’t have to worry about a single thing. Most of all, me. “I’m actually okay,” I said, and I believed some part of that. I looked around outside the vehicle for Ben. “Since we’re alone, how are you ?”

She motioned to her chest. “I feel like I could throw up at any moment, but I’m also too excited to sit still. It’s good, I’m all right, but I won’t be drinking tonight.”

“Smart,” I said. “Do you want me to go to the oyster place just to check that everything is the way you want it?”

“You’re not going to the oyster bar,” she cried. “I have two goals for this weekend. Number one, get married. Number two, no shellfish incidents.”

We had a quick rehearsal scheduled tonight with the wedding party, and then Ben’s family was hosting a bigger event at the local oyster bar since many of their guests were arriving in this quirky, coastal town today. Since they’d reserved the entire roof deck for our party and open-air situations were always more manageable for me, I figured I’d be fine. I just wouldn’t eat much.

“Would you rather we send Audrey?” I asked.

“No, the in-laws have it under control,” she said with a laugh. “I decided a long time ago it’s their thing and it wasn’t for me to worry about.”

“Also smart,” I said. “We’ll start upstairs and organize the bridal suite and then move into the reception area to work on table setup, but I’m kicking you out at four.”

She laughed. “I do not need two hours to get ready.”

“Maybe not, but I’m still kicking you out.”

I heard Ben slam the truck’s rear gate before he opened my door. “We’re gonna do this nice and easy.” To Grace, he said, “Killer, you take the lead. Open the doors for me, tell me where to go, keep me from face-planting on the sidewalk, et cetera and so forth.”

“I’ll do my best,” she said with a laugh.

“Emster, you’re the caboose,” he said, reaching for the hangers. “Keep the end moving. Let me know if you need me to slow down or if we’re making a tight turn. I’m on strict orders to get these dresses to their destination without wrinkles.”

We made our way inside the Victorian that’d once belonged to Shay’s step-grandmother and up the wide, sweeping staircase to the sunny room that overlooked the best corner of the gardens. All while Ben belted out “Chapel of Love.”

Once the dresses were secured in the closet, he dropped his hands to his hips and surveyed the room. “Am I allowed to be in here?” he asked, eyeing an antique sofa that practically begged for a bride to sit there with her long veil draped over the back.

“That depends on how superstitious we want to be,” Grace mused.

He held up his hand, the one with the metal splint on his middle finger. “I think we could use a little superstition, honey.”

We finished hauling in the last of the wedding goods and our bags, and Ben and a few of his friends who’d recently arrived went to work moving tables and chairs into place.

Before joining everyone else, I dropped my things in a room down the hall from the bridal suite. This one had a view of the trees that marked the property line between Shay’s family farm and her husband’s. I loved how the lazy, wandering fields that burst with tulips in the spring and hydrangeas in the summer ran headfirst into those precise rows of apple trees, each one marching up and over the rolling hills without an inch of deviation. It reminded me of Shay and Noah.

Jamie, Audrey, and I would sleep here tonight with Grace. Months ago, I’d told Ryan there was room for him to stay here too. Not long ago, that shifted into him staying with me in my room. And now I’d be alone.

I stared down at my rings. I’d wanted to take them off. Told myself I would every day. But then I put them back on the second I emerged from the shower and decided I’d wait for the next day to deal with that problem.

Same with the necklace.

I hated myself for wearing it and that I wore it low, hidden inside my shirt. Of all the things I couldn’t let go of, it was the jewels? I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I just knew I felt better when I pressed a hand to my chest and felt the pendant warm against my skin.

I’d take it off tomorrow. The rings too. I just needed another day.

The ballroom came together quickly, although that didn’t shock me. Leave it to firefighters and teachers to knock out an organization project in no time at all. Grace still wanted to fuss over the exact position of every place setting and Audrey went a little nuts hunting down wrinkles with her portable steamer, but the room was gorgeous and it didn’t require a lot of work.

Unfortunately for me, I was counting on that work. I needed to wrestle with some string lights and hunt down missing candelabras and tie big, satiny ribbons until my fingers bled. There was a moment when I noticed the guys racing each other to move the furniture into place and I had to stop myself from lapsing into my teacher voice and saying, “We use our walking feet when we’re inside, boys.”

I went to the wide wall of windows when there was nothing left for me to do and I stared out at the flowers, the fields, the cove. The ballroom opened up into a series of large patios. One, deeper in the gardens, for the ceremony. A tall archway wrapped in thick, flowering vines stood at the far end and it was like a storybook. I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful place in the world to get married.

Except for the botanical garden Ryan had thrown together in his condo.

As I dragged in a breath meant to chase those thoughts away, Audrey came up beside me, steamer in hand. She didn’t say anything and just stayed there with me, taking in the gardens.

After a few minutes—and Shay sending the guys out on an errand when they started playing red rover between the tables—Audrey said, “There was a boy in high school and I loved him.”

I glanced at her, my lips parted, but no words making their way out. I’d told the girls that Ryan and I were taking a break and I’d explain everything later—when the wedding was over and Grace and Ben were off on their honeymoon.

I asked, “Not your ex-husband, right? Someone else?”

“No, not the ex,” she said with a strained laugh.

“Before him, then,” I said, pointlessly. Audrey didn’t talk much about her family or her life before teaching at our school. I was pretty sure she had a sibling and possibly grew up in the New England area, but it was hazy—and she preferred it that way.

“Our families didn’t approve,” she went on. “Mine most of all. It ended badly. I thought I was making the right choice for everyone and I believed that as deeply as I believed anything. But I was wrong, and I handled things poorly.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” I said.

“Oh, it was.” She gave a quick shake of her head. “Sometimes I let myself wonder what it would be like if we put everything behind us and started over.”

“Can you?” I asked. “Start over? Could you reach out to him or?—”

“No, that’s not—he isn’t—we can’t— No,” she said quickly. “I don’t know what happened with you and your boy from high school, and I don’t know where the blame lies. But I know what it feels like to be eaten alive by regret and I don’t want that for you because I see how much you love him. I watched you bloom these past few months and maybe that had nothing to do with him, maybe that was you finding yourself again—but I don’t want you to lose it. I don’t want you to give up everything if there’s any chance to fix this.”

Audrey gave me a side hug and left me to stare at the gardens.

When I blinked away, I realized I was clutching the pendant through my shirt.

I was convinced the Small Point Oyster Company had the best roof deck in Rhode Island. I hadn’t been to any other roof decks in the state, but with the breeze blowing off the ocean, a vibrant sunset as the backdrop, and a server readily able to explain their shellfish allergy protocols to me, I didn’t see how it could get any better.

At least as far as my current circumstances went.

“I’m impressed,” Grace whispered when she made her way over to me after she and Ben greeted their guests. “This place is really nice.”

“What were you expecting?” I asked.

She let out a weary laugh and her ice-blue sequined romper shimmered from the force of it. “At this stage, all I want is to survive.” She watched as Ben and Noah talked near the buffet, Gennie busy dancing between them. “Is that wrong? Am I a bad bride?”

“You’re a perfect bride,” I said. “This stuff is exhausting. That’s why you get a vacation when it’s over.”

“You had the right idea eloping,” she said with a pointed glance.

I groaned into my wineglass. “I haven’t had a good idea once this year.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” She rubbed my arm. “That’s why I’m hoping you’ll forgive me.”

“Forgive you for what?” I asked. She smiled and glanced across the deck. When she didn’t respond, I followed her gaze to—Ryan. Standing at the top of the stairs in a crisp navy suit, his white shirt open at the throat. I was too far away to know if it was the shirt with the tiny flowers like the one he’d worn the night we got married, but I raked a stare down his chest just the same. His hands were loose at his sides and his scruff thicker than I remembered. Like he hadn’t trimmed it in a few days. Maybe not since Vegas. Since we’d been together. Since— “ Grace. What did you do?”

She took a step away, saying, “I’m sorry but you’ll thank me later.”

I glared after her, growly, raspy noises rolling up my throat as she went. Then, as if I was experiencing life underwater, the breeze stopped, the noise faded away, and my gaze bobbled back toward Ryan. My husband.

He crossed the deck in a few quick strides and then he was here, standing before me with his palms open as he reached for me. “Muggsy,” he breathed.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced away. We couldn’t do this in front of Ben and Grace’s families. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I promised I’d be here,” he said, “and I never break my promises to you.”

For a second, he was mine once again. He was my friend and my partner and the person who knew me best. Who loved me best. For a second, I believed him.

But that second ended and I remembered I was a very convenient pawn. The truth of it sliced through me all over again and I stepped back, putting a hand between us.

“You won’t break a promise, but you’ll use me to drive away your competition,” I said, trying my damnedest to keep my voice down. “Got it. Glad we cleared that up.”

He pushed a hand through his hair and his wedding band glinted in the evening light. A burst of hope flared inside me, but it burned out as quickly as it came. It meant nothing. It couldn’t. And I wasn’t going to be a fool again. I wasn’t going to build castles from these crumbs.

“Emme, please. We need to talk. I just want?—”

“There’s nothing to talk about. We got what we wanted out of this and now it’s over.”

“No, it’s fucking not, Emmeline. If you’d just give me a minute to explain and?—”

“Even if I was inclined to let you manipulate me with another story, don’t you think you should stop and look around first?” I asked, surprising myself with the cold venom in my voice. “Do you have any idea where we are right now? Do you understand that this isn’t the time or place? It’s nice that you came all this way and that you’re trying to make a sappy statement about your promises, but I’m here with my friends tonight. I’m sorry if Grace led you to believe I wanted to see you, but I don’t and I’m not doing this with you.”

I walked away without a backward glance.