Just Pretend (Just… #1)

27. Hallie

CHAPTER 27

HALLIE

Hearing James say the words, realizing that he feels the same way I do, is like a lightbulb not just turning on in my head, but exploding in a burst of bright, hot light that burns through my body. I can feel the heat radiating from inside of me, overwhelming and consuming me. Without thinking, I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms tight around his neck, pulling him towards me, and kissing him the way I’ve wanted to kiss him for days—deeply, passionately.

James moves his arms around my waist and our bodies press together as our kiss grows more intense, filled with unbridled desire. We’re no longer pretending and we’re not holding back. Everything that passes between us, the resolve of our embrace, the depth of the kiss, the pleasure of each unconscious moan and sigh, is all real and pure.

My only thoughts in this moment are of James and the way he makes me feel. I’m done listening to my brain and its constant doubts and uncertainty. I can’t keep wondering if James is only using me for sex. I don’t care if I’m vulnerable and leaving myself open for heartache and humiliation. I’m letting go of those thoughts because I feel in my gut what I should have known all along. James is not the person I thought he was. He’s been hurt and abandoned. He is vulnerable. He has been resistant to heartache. He is scared, too.

As we inch closer to the bed, I look into his eyes, trying to silently tell him that I’m not going to hurt him. He stares back at me, his palm pressed to my cheek, his eyes searching mine.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks in a breathless whisper.

“Yes,” I nod. “I’m so sure.”

“Because you?—”

“I’m falling in love with you, too,” I interrupt him.

He looks at me deeply for another moment before he draws me back to him, his full lips crushed against mine, his fingers tangled in my hair. As he kisses me, he takes my breath away.

We’re still kissing as I feel James’s fingers slide up under my shirt, grazing against my sides. The warmth of his hands on my skin makes me melt a little, the urge to be with him growing within me. He thumbs the hem of my shirt for a moment before pulling it up over my head. For a split second, I feel self-conscious about having James’s eyes on my body, but the desire in his gaze is the confidence boost I need, and with a deep breath, I reach behind me and unclasp my bra, pulling it off.

My heart is thumping inside my chest as he comes closer, ripping off his own shirt before placing his hand over my heart. He stands like that for a moment, looking into my eyes, until he slowly leans in and kisses me while his hand drifts down to my breasts. My body reacts instantly to his touch, my breath catching in my throat, my nipple hardening under each stroke of his thumb. There is an ache inside of me, begging for more, wanting to feel him on top of me. As much as I want to savor every second with James, I feel like I’ve waited for this moment for far too long. With my arms around his neck, I kiss him harder and pull him towards me.

We both tumble to the bed, and he unzips my jeans as I tug at his sweatpants. We roll across the bed in a flurry of motion, tearing off our pants and underwear, his lips on my neck, feeling the heat between us growing hotter. By the time we’re naked, there is nothing to be self-conscious about. I want it too much to be worried about how I look. Every approving moan that escapes from James’s lips, every caress of his hands, every kiss of his lips against my bare skin, tells me how turned on he is.

Straddling his body, I sit up, trying to catch my breath as I look down at him. Every time I’ve seen him without his shirt on over the last few days, I’ve only been able to steal a quick glimpse, turning away without lingering too long. Now, I let my eyes linger on his muscles, taking in his chiseled abs and pecs, his ripped biceps, and his broad shoulders. Every muscle is defined without making him too bulging. He is sexy and strong in the right places while still having a soft touch and a warm embrace. Nothing about him is what I thought.

“Come here,” James whispers, reaching for me.

I lean forward and he slides his hand behind my neck, pulling me into another long kiss that makes my stomach flip. As his tongue dances through my mouth, he moves his hand between my legs, his fingertips gently sliding over me. I gasp against his lips, every nerve in my body at full attention as he continues to stroke me. I can’t help but moan, feeling a ripple of desire radiating from my core, responding immediately to his touch.

Unable to restrain myself, I reach down between us, taking him in my grip, sliding my hand up and down his shaft. He sucks in a sharp breath as I press his tip against my body and slowly plunge down on top of him. The room is silent for a moment, and I hold still, feeling him fill me from within. With my eyes closed, I sit up and breathe in deeply, and then I start to ride him.

Everything speeds up. The motion on the bed, knocking the headboard against the wall; the sway of my hips as I lean forward over his chest; the beating of my heart and the racing of my pulse as my body is flooded with pure pleasure. It’s been too long since I’ve had sex and even longer since I’ve been with someone I have genuine feelings for. Looking down into James’s eyes, I can see he feels it, too. He’s likely been with dozens of women since his big breakup, but I can see the emotional attachment in his gaze that I know he’s been fighting off for so long.

James rolls me onto my back, the weight of his body heavy against mine as he thrusts inside of me. Our lips are so close I feel his every breath; his eyes are locked into mine, his hands on my body. There is a connection between us that I’ve never felt before, and it stirs something beyond physical arousal deep inside of me.

The peak of my pleasure creeps in slowly, building like hot lava inside a volcano until it can’t be contained. I grip onto the sheets with both hands, bracing myself, begging in breathless pleas for James to keep going. I tip my head back against the pillow, gulping for air as my hips rock and my body pulses. I press my lips together, my scream muted into a swallowed moan of total satisfaction. When James collapses on top of me, he presses a kiss to my shoulder before rolling onto his back, his skin slick with sweat, his cheeks rosy and a grin on his face that most certainly matches the one plastered on mine.

My heart is still pounding wildly as I lie in James’s arms, my head resting on his bare chest. I’ve spent so long working hard to send money to my family, saving little to no time or energy for my own happiness, that I’ve almost forgotten what it felt like to be completely content. My body feels both energized and relaxed; my head is clear. It feels like I’ve been fighting the world with one arm behind my back and suddenly I’ve been untethered. I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly, savoring the moment of peace as my body continues to pulse with reverberations.

James gently strokes my hair, letting out a happy groan.

“I’ve wanted to do this since I first laid eyes on you,” he tells me, his voice low and gruff.

With a laugh, I prop myself up on my elbow, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

“Yeah, I bet you did,” I tease him.

James smiles back at me, rolling onto his side to face me.

“You’re not wrong,” he shrugs. “Back then I was the asshole you thought I was, trying to get you to sleep with me because all I saw was a smoking hot woman who I figured would be fun in bed. But I knew pretty quickly that you were different, and I think that is why I fought against everything I was feeling for so long.”

“I get it,” I say softly. “I fought it, too. I was scared of being another girl you wouldn’t call back.”

James leans forward, touching my face and stroking his thumb across my cheek.

“I’ll always call you back, Hallie,” he says, his lips brushing against mine. “Always.”

He rolls on top of me, his mouth on my neck, his hands shifting under the covers, moving down my naked body. I let out a long sigh, relishing each touch, every kiss, knowing that they won’t be the last.

Even though I’ve been pretending that James is my boyfriend for days, it feels surreal when we walk down to dinner together, hands gripped tight, big, goofy smiles on our faces. As tempting as it was to skip dinner and just stay in the room all night, making love over and over again and not getting dressed until morning, we both agreed we needed to make an appearance. It took some convincing, but eventually I had to accept that this is a work retreat and I’m not here to stay in bed, even if it’s because my fake relationship just got very, very real.

“Eat quickly,” I whisper to James as we approach the restaurant. “I want to get back up to bed ASAP.”

“So, no dessert?” James asks.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your dessert,” I tease him, stopping to pull him into a kiss.

“Let’s hurry up and eat,” James says with a grin.

As we walk into the restaurant, it feels like all eyes are on us. Do they know that we’re together now? Can they tell we spent all afternoon having sex? I feel my cheeks blush and I duck my head, avoiding the stares I can feel all over my body.

“What’s wrong?” James asks softly, looking at me with concern.

I look quickly around the room and realize that no one is watching me; they haven’t even noticed we walked into the room. Everyone thinks we’ve been a couple this whole time, so there is nothing new or novel about us coming to dinner holding hands or smiling.

“Nothing,” I reply. “Absolutely nothing at all.”

We’re one of the last couples to arrive, so we get some quick cocktails from the bar and then make our rounds, saying hi to the Winters and their wives and talking to a few of my coworkers before dinner starts. “I’m starving,” I whisper to James when we’re alone together. “I really worked up an appetite.”

He gives me a knowing smile, lifting my hand to kiss it.

“I’ll grab us some apps,” he says. “I’ll be right back.”

As he heads off to make us a plate, Jasmine hurries towards me, her eyes wide.

“I’ve been waiting to get you alone ever since you walked in with that look on your face,” she hisses at me.

“What look?” I ask innocently.

“You know what look,” she replies. “That huge, sappy smile you’ve been wearing all night. What’s that about?”

My grin only widens, unable to suppress it as I practically squeal with delight.

“We had sex!” I whisper, trying not to jump up and down. “Well, first we both admitted we have real feelings for each other and then we had hot, steamy, toe-curling sex—more than once!”

“Thank God!” Jasmine exhales. “I’m so happy for you! If you had held out any longer on confessing how you felt, I think I would have done it for you!”

“I guess I should thank you,” I tell her with a laugh.

“Thank me? What for?” she asks, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“You’re the one who texted James asking to come pick me up at work,” I remind her. “You set all this in motion.”

“And you were so mad at me!” she laughs.

“Well, it turns out you were right and I was wrong,” I admit. “James and I are perfect for each other, and I couldn’t be happier.”

“You deserve it,” Jasmine says, giving me a hug. “Where is James, anyway?”

We both look around the room and I spot him talking to the Winter brothers near the appetizer tables.

“It looks like he got detained,” I laugh. “I’m going to go rescue him.”

I leave Jasmine and head over to where Scott, Lucas, and Clay are talking to James about bird watching this morning.

“Sorry, Hallie, looks like we’ve been keeping James from you,” Clay says.

“More importantly, you’ve been keeping those delicious looking shrimp from me,” I joke, taking a shrimp from the plate James is holding.

As we continue talking, Chase makes his way over, nosing his way into the conversation even though it’s clear he has nothing to say about the birds we saw earlier.

“I’m glad you’re both here,” Scott says, looking at me and Chase. “We were talking about the sales director position this afternoon.”

Right away, I feel my back straighten and my knees lock, all of the stress and tension returning to my body.

“The three of us have been doing a lot of thinking,” Lucas jumps in. “This decision has been a particularly difficult one for us since both of you are so qualified and it feels impossible to choose one of you over the other.”

“Unfortunately, we’re still not ready to make an announcement,” Scott continues. “I’m sorry that it’s been taking so long, but we need to get this right. We’re expecting a lot of new clients with our plans for expansion and we need the right person heading up the sales department.”

“I completely understand that this is a huge decision,” Chase cuts in. “And I just want to note that I will have no trouble transitioning into the director role quickly. I have a lot of experience winning over powerful people and can hit the ground running immediately, should you offer me the promotion.”

I stay silent, not wanting to call attention to myself as I try not to roll my eyes at Chase’s bullshit.

“Of course, Hallie must be good at winning over powerful people, too,” Chase adds. “I mean, she had to win over James’s family, right? Who’s more powerful than they are?”

All eyes turn to James, including mine, as we all wonder what the hell Chase is talking about. I’m trying to hide my confusion, but I’m sure I’m doing a terrible job at it. Next to me, James’s eyes widen slightly, and I feel his body go stiff.

“Who’s your family, James?” Scott asks with curiosity.

“Oh, they’re, just…they’re not…” James stammers, looking both bewildered and guilty.

"Don’t be modest, James,” Chase says with a grin. He then raises his eyebrows. “Oh…I’m sorry. Shoot, were you…did you not want anyone to know who your family is?”

The tone of Chase’s voice makes it seem like he’s genuinely confused and embarrassed, though I can see right through his act. Whatever he knows about James, he’s bringing it up in front of our bosses on purpose. He’s trying to use it against me.

“What’s this about?” Clay asks, looking confused.

“I’m sorry, I really put my foot in my mouth,” Chase goes on. “I guess that’s why you use your mother’s maiden name and not your family name.”

“Well, now I am curious,” Lucas says with a laugh, though when he looks over at James and see the mortified expression on his face, he backpedals. “But you don’t have to share if you don’t want to. Your family’s business is no concern for the rest of us.”

All eyes are on James, waiting for him to say something. I feel sick to my stomach, not knowing what to do or say. I have no idea what Chase uncovered or how damaging it is, I only know that James hasn’t spoken to his father ever since he left the family business. I do my best to keep a smile on my face, pretending like I haven’t just been broadsided, because I don’t want it to look like James was keeping something from me—his long-term, very serious girlfriend.

“It’s fine,” James says, resolute. “My family name is Sinclair. My father is Rupert Sinclair.”

“Oh, wow,” Scott says under his breath, all three brothers knowing right away who Rupert Sinclair is.

The name shocks me as well, but not because James just revealed that he comes from an incredibly wealthy and powerful family. The name Rupert Sinclair doesn’t impress me at all, in fact, it disgusts me. I have to take a deep breath and work to keep my expression neutral, even though I just found out that my new boyfriend is the son of my father’s ex- business partner—the man who is about to take the summer camp away from my family.