CHAPTER 7
EVIE
“If you all came here to be complete dicks you can just leave right now,” I added, covering Zack’s ears so he wouldn’t hear me swearing.
I turned my back on them all and fought not to allow any tears to fall. I wasn’t ordinarily a crier, but that had all changed since Soloman took me and I didn’t need my brothers seeing my new weakness.
I hated talking to them that way. I had missed them all so much and I was so happy to have them there. I loved them, despite how much of a pain in my ass they had been growing up. All I wanted to do was run up and hug them. I wanted to feel their arms around me, making me feel safe the way they always could when I was a kid, but I couldn’t let the way they were behaving go. I got that they were upset I had been taken again, and although it was baseless, I even got why they blamed the guys to some extent. They needed to blame someone and the guys were the easy target, but I was safe now and the guys had done nothing but take care of me. They deserved some respect from my brothers, not aggravation.
Just when I was sure I was about to be left heartbroken as my brothers all filed out and walked away from me, a chair was pulled out beside me. I looked up, expecting it to be one of my guys, but it wasn’t.
“Evie, please don’t cry, hermanita.” Matt’s dark eyes met mine as I hurried to wipe away my tears while balancing Zack on my knee, but it was too late. Matt had seen my pain – all of it in that split second. It was a gift – one he had suffered years of abuse as a kid to gain. One look in your eyes and Matt saw everything, no matter how hard you tried to keep it back.
“I don’t want to fight any more,” I told him, my voice breaking and more tears slipping free, no mater how hard I tried to swallow it all back. “I missed you all, but my brothers, not…not these assholes who keep stirring up tr-trouble,” I sniffled.
I felt a firm hand on my shoulder and when I looked up, Nick was standing at my back, a gentle, reassuring smile on his face. Behind him the others were all watching me too, strained expressions on their faces. I realized they all wanted to come to me but were holding back to keep the peace.
“Let me take Zack, babe. You need to talk with your family,” Nick said as he leaned in and grabbed Zack under his flailing arms. He squealed with delight at the sight of his dad, and went happily. Before Nick turned away he leant in to kiss my cheek softly.
“Just say the word if this is too much, okay?” he whispered into my ear, and I gave him a nod, relieved to have them there and on my side.
As I begrudgingly watched Nick walk away with Zack in his arms, my brothers all took seats around me at the large dining table. Matt was on my right, and Xander sat on my left. Kyle was directly opposite me and his jaw was still set with tension, his eyes focused not on me, but on the four guys now all keeping busy in the kitchen.
I wiped at my tear stained cheeks again and took a deep breath to try and calm myself down.
“We’re sorry, Evie. We didn’t mean to upset you. We were supposed to come in calmer this time,” Xander spoke first, sending a glare across the table to Kyle as he spoke.
“I just don’t get what your problem is. Harris and the others have done nothing but take care of me and try to protect me since the day I randomly showed up here. They’re good men,” I snapped as I too glared at Kyle, who was now focused mainly on me, but definitely keeping his peripheral on my guys.
“They’ve taken advantage of you,” he hissed angrily.
“No they haven’t!”
“What Kyle means,” Kade stepped in, “is that we’re worried about you. You’ve been through something extremely traumatic. The last thing you should be getting into is a complicated relationship, but one week with these guys and you’re dating all of them.”
“It’s been more than a week. I’ve known Harris for almost a decade and my time here has been…intense isn’t even a strong enough word,” I sighed. I looked between the five of them and knew I needed to be honest. “I was a wreck when I got here. I’d been alone and terrified for months, trying to deal with the memories, flashbacks, and nightmares of everything I’d been through. The guys…they took care of me. They weren’t scared or cautious, they just took care of me. They stopped me and held me when I had night terrors that had me fleeing the house. They didn’t freak out when I had melt downs. They were just there, and they still are, because I’m a long way from fixed. I’m messed up,” I dared a look at Cole as I admitted that, knowing he was terrible at hiding his feelings, but he didn’t look ashamed or disappointed. He just looked worried. “Soloman…he tried to break me and he came really fucking close, you guys. He fucked me up and I’m not okay, but here with the guys I feel a little peace for the first time in months. They make me feel like I’m not messed up and they give me hope I will be okay someday. I need that. I need them. You,” I pointed between Kade, Kyle, Cole, and Matt, “should all understand that better than anyone. It’s exactly what you went through with Livy.”
“Do you love them?” Cole asked.
“It’s too soon for that, but I have feelings for them. Even in this chaos right now, they make me happier than I have felt in years. I want to see where a relationship between the five of us could go,” I admitted.
“It’s just too soon, Evie. Come home with us and take some time to heal. If you feel the same way a few months from now, then see what happens, but you’re too vulnerable right now,” Kyle spoke up.
“You’re underestimating me, brother,” I told him. “I’m not vulnerable. Any naivety and vulnerability was stripped from me around day three of being held by Soloman. I may be messed up, but I also grew up a lot too. One thing I am sure of is my mind, and I don’t need any of you second guessing my decisions for me.”
“So you don’t plan to come home with us then?” Matt asked, sounding shocked.
“No,” I shook my head. “Not right now. I’m not ready. I feel safe here, and better – more like myself. I need all of that. The guys are happy for me to stay, and that’s what I want right now.”
“What about mom and dad?” Xander pushed. “They’re desperate to see you. They’ve made themselves ill with worry.”
“I know and I hate that, but they know I’m safe now. We can talk on the phone and I’m not saying I’ll never come home. I just need a little more time to heal, here, where I feel comfortable. Please just try to understand. I…I’m just not ready to face home yet.” Tears filled my eyes again and I blinked furiously to fight them back.
“So we’re expected to just leave you here to be taken again? We don’t even know these guys, Evie. You’re our baby sister. We want to keep you safe,” Kade pleaded.
“I’m safe here,” I assured him. “The guys are all ex-military and they know how to protect me. The house is like Fort Knox.”
“They didn’t keep you safe yesterday,” Kyle grunted.
“Enough!” I snapped, raising my voice as I jumped to my feet and slammed my hands loudly into the table, startling them all. “I’m done trying to explain. I’m a grown woman and I have told you I trust these guys and know for a fact I am safe here. Either accept it and be civil with them, or get the hell out!”
“Evie…” Xander tried, but I cut him off.
“No! I’m done talking about this. You’re all being overbearing assholes and I won’t have it any more. I’ve been through enough today! Either we sit down to eat civilly or you all go back home. It’s not what I want. I want to be as grateful to see you all as I know I should be, but I can’t when you’re being like this.” I moved over to the toughest nut to crack and wrapped my arms around Kyle’s shoulders, holding him like I wanted to. “Please Kyle…please just relax and be my brother right now. I need him more than you know,” I admitted tearfully as I clung to him tightly.
I watched as all of my brothers shared one of their silent eye contact conversations and breathed out a sigh of relief when I felt Kyle give the slightest nod and relax a little under my arms.
“I’m sorry, little bit,” he whispered so low only I could hear it. He rubbed a hand up and down my arm and I allowed a few more tears to fall at the relief that Kyle was there and not the asshole I’d been dealing with before.
“Please tell me you didn’t cook for us, Evie?” Matt asked in a more playful tone, breaking some of the tension.
“What’s wrong with my cooking?” I cried as I stood and swiped at my wet cheeks. “You taught me, so I’d be careful what uou say,” I added with a smile.
“I think mom’s cooking genes found their way into you,” Cole laughed.
“How dare you!” I hit out at him half heartedly as I made my way back to my seat at the table. “Actually Nick cooked, not that I couldn’t have done it.”
“Nick? The broody looking one?” Kyle asked as he looked behind me.
“Broody? Jesus! You have to stop reading Livy’s books, brother!” Cole laughed loudly.
“Nick’s a great cook actually. You can hardly notice his foods all vegan,” I teased.
“What?” Matt sat up and glared at me hard.
“Please tell me we’re not eating fucking tofu!” Kade growled as the others all just looked a little crest fallen.
“Maybe we could order pizza? Do you even have a pizza place out here?” Cole asked as he looked to me hopefully.
“Guys, we can’t order pizza when the man has cooked. You’ll just have to eat it, and be polite,” Xander warned. “We can always get pizza on the way home,” he added with a mischievous grin that reminded me of when I was little and he was much younger.
“Guys, relax,” I laughed. “He’s not vegan, but that’ll teach you to say I cook like mom!”
“You little brat!” Kade threw back, but the relief on his face was unmissable. God forbid any of them should miss a meal. I had no idea how they all afforded the grocery bill at their place.
“So the food isn’t vegan?” Matt clarified.
“Nope. I was messing with you.”
“Thank fuck for that. I’m starving,” Cole cried dramatically.
“We about ready to eat?” Kailan called over, clearly having been listening to everything.
“Can I check that wound on your head first, half pint? Kailan said it took a while to stop bleeding earlier?”
“It’s okay. Kailan closed it with some strips and put this huge dressing on,” I explained as I reached up to touch the white gauze dressing on my forehead.
“I’d still like to check it over, if that’s okay?”
“Just let him take a peek, pretty girl. A second opinion can’t hurt,” Kailan said as he appeared behind me and placed both of his hands on my shoulders, kneading the stress from them and almost making me groan out loud in pleasure.
“Go on, short stuff. You know Xand won’t stop worrying until he’s done his doctorly duty,” Cole urged.
“Don’t even start with the short girl names,” I said as I waved a finger at Cole. “I’m not short. I’m average height for a woman actually.”
Harris burst out laughing from the kitchen, obviously having heard the line I had thrown back at him so many times when we were dating before. I looked over to him and smiled affectionately. It was a joke just between the two of us, and I liked that. Plus, who could resist Harris when he gave you the full weight of his handsome smile? He didn’t do it often enough now and that hadn’t escaped my notice. When we were younger he was always laughing and smiling. Life had stolen that from him and I wanted to do all I could to give it back.
“Go darlin’,” Kailan told me as he leaned in close to my ear. “We’ll get the table laid for dinner and try to keep the peace.” He placed a kiss lightly on my cheek before he stood straight and headed back to the kitchen. I blushed as a play by play of what we had almost done in my room just an hour before flashed through my head.
“Come on then,” I shouted way too loud as I jumped to my feet and hurried from the table before anyone noticed how red I had become. The way things were headed, I was pretty sure I may not survive this dinner.
***
“Kailan did a good job with the head wound. It looks good,” Xander told me as we both stood from the sofa to head into the kitchen again. He’d taken a close look at my head, then redressed it, but he seemed impressed with Kailan’s handiwork, which was something I supposed. “That gash on your arm would have been better with stitches though.”
“That’s what Kailan said, but I was too exhausted to go to the ER.”
“It’ll likely leave a pretty gnarly scar,” Xander warned.
“What’s one more,” I shrugged nonchalantly. It would be far from the worse scar I had on my body.
“What do you mean?” Xander grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop before I stepped into the kitchen. “You have scars?” I swallowed deeply as I considered trying to backtrack what I had inadvertently admitted, but what was the point? He’d know I was lying.
I placed my hand over his on my arm and looked up to meet his gaze, the whole time fighting back the tears that burned in my eyes.
“Xand, I was held by a serial killer who likes to torture his victims until they beg for death. I have scars,” I said as plainly and quickly as I could. It was the only way to get the words out before my voice broke.
“Fuck,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Evie. That’s a bullshit thing to say, but I really am. If there had been any way I…we could have stopped it…” he looked away as his voice hitched and my heart broke to know he was crying.
“I know,” I said as I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and held him. “I know you’d all have done anything to save me if you could, but you have to understand you guys and Livy are the only reason I’m standing here right now. The strength you all showed me and gave me growing up…it got me through. It made me strong enough to survive with a determination that I would live. I refused to give up and that was because of all of you,” I went on tearfully. “I’m gonna be okay, Xand. It’s gonna take time and I don’t think I’ll ever be the girl I was before, but I will find my way and I will be okay.”
“I know you will. You’re so fucking strong. We’re all so proud of you,” he told me as he crushed me in his arms.
“We should get in there before Kyle kills someone,” I laughed tearfully as I pulled back and swiped at my watery eyes. “Don’t tell them, okay? About the scars. They’re already so on edge. I don’t want to make it worse and what’s done is done, right?”
“I won’t tell them, but they probably already have some idea, especially Kyle and Kade. They’ve been looking into this serial killer for months now. They know what he’s capable of. It’s probably why they’re so on edge,” Xander explained, and that made sense all of a sudden. Don’t get me wrong, all five of my brothers had always been over the top protective, but they weren’t usually quite so murderous as they’d been recently.
I nodded, then led the way into the kitchen, pausing in the doorway and laughing out loud when I saw the situation at the table. My brothers were all sat side by side on the left, with Kyle at one end. Harris was at the other end, being stared down by Kyle and beside him were my other three guys, all sat opposite my brothers and all mid staring competition it seemed. Zack was in his high chair beside Nick, shoveling cut up bites of garlic bread into and all around his mouth between happily chattering baby speak. It was quite the scene.
“Well, at least they’re not killing each other,” Xand uttered as he passed me and headed for the table, settling in the free seat between Kyle and Zack’s high chair.
“Hey there. That taste good, buddy?” he laughed as he gave his attention to Zack. “How old is he?”
“He just turned one last month. He’s started walking but he’s not so forth coming with the talking,” Nick replied as he relaxed in his chair and turned to face Xander.
“Tom was like that, remember?” Cole looked to the others as he spoke. “He walked at ten months, but he refused to utter a word. We were worried he’d never speak,” Cole laughed.
“Yeah, he was almost two before he started saying anything. Livy had that poor pediatrician on speed dial,” Kade agreed.
“He was our first, so we were pretty paranoid about everything he did and didn’t do,” Matt explained as I took a seat between Harris and Kade and relaxed a little.
“Well at least I know he’ll talk eventually,” Nick replied as he ruffled his son’s thick hair. “Shall we eat? It’s nothing special, just lasagna.”
“It smells delicious,” Xander told him as he started to fill his plate with salad. Nick cut into the steaming dish of lasagna and I watched on in surprise as Harris grabbed my plate from before me and held it out so Nick could hand me the first piece.
“Eat, sweetheart. You haven’t had anything since yesterday,” Harris said when I looked to him.
“You want some salad?” Aleks offered as he lifted the bowl and handed it across to me. I smiled gratefully as I took it and added a little to my plate. Harris was right. It had been over twenty-four hours since I last had anything substantial and I was definitely hungry. I stuck in as the others filled their own plates with mountains of food, as always, then a silence descended as they all started to eat.
I ate what I could, which, as usual, wasn’t much, but I felt full and much better for it. When I looked up I wasn’t surprised to find every set of eyes at the table, except Zack, watching me.
“Is that all you’re gonna eat?” Matt asked first.
“I’m full. It was delicious, Nick. Thank you,” I replied, averting my nervous gaze to Nick for comfort. He nodded and winked at me, giving me exactly what I needed.
“You need to eat more than that, half pint,” Xander gently scolded.
“Evie’s better with small amounts, often, right now. We stocked up on fruit and snacks so she can just grab something when she feels hungry again. It’s been working okay, hasn’t it Ev?” Harris cut in, which I was grateful for.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “I didn’t eat much before and I guess my stomach shrank,” I added with a shrug. When Soloman had me, I barely ate at all for those weeks, and after, when I was alone n the city, I was too much of a mess and too broke to eat more then I absolutely had to. Not to mention anxiety seemed to have taken a firm grip on my stomach.
“I can make you some soup next time I come. That will help,” Matt told me, and I smiled gratefully. No way I was turning down anything he was willing to cook for me.
“The spicy beef broth? I’ve been dreaming about that soup for years,” Harris exclaimed.
“No. My chicken broth is the one that is light on your stomach, but I can make the beef broth too,” Matt offered and Harris nodded eagerly.
“Is it okay if I call by tomorrow to borrow your kitchen? I’ll bring everything I need,” Matt asked.
“Sure. Anytime. We’ll be here,” Nick replied.
“Wait, don’t you all need to get back home? What about Livy and Jake, not to mention the kids? Don’t you have to work?” I asked, aiming the last part at Xander who hardly ever took time off from his job at the hospital.
“I took two weeks off the second we heard you’d been taken. My chief was fine with it, but even if he weren’t, I’d be here,” Xander explained.
“And everyone else is fine. Livy has mom and dad to help her with the kids. Emilia, Linc, and the guys said they’d help too. We’re staying as long as you want us to, Evie,” Kyle added.