CHAPTER 8
EVIE
Later that night, I found myself in bed alone. The good news – my brothers and my guys seemed to have come to a truce and were getting along pretty well when I left them all drinking beer in the living room, too tired to stay awake any longer. The bad news – I was in bed alone and I freaking hated it.
I knew it was crazy. The house was locked up tight and every single entry point was alarmed. The guys were still doing an insane number of sweeps of the grounds and checks of the security. No one could get in. I knew that too, but my brain was messing with me as I lay in my dimly lit room alone. Any tiredness I had been feeling before was gone, replaced with sheer panic and fear.
Every time I closed my eyes, Soloman was right there, just waiting for me, ready to drag me back into one terrifying flashback after another, and the longer I lay there, the more I was allowing my anxiety to take hold. I was desperate to message one of my guys and beg them to come and lie with me, but my pride wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t want my brothers to know I was that pathetic that I couldn’t even be alone. What would they think of me? They’d be so disappointed after all they’d done to make me tough and strong. This weak person wasn’t who I was. It was who I had allowed Soloman to turn me into.
Angry and annoyed with myself I threw back the comforter and climbed out of bed. Sleep wasn’t going to happen. Instead I pulled on the robe the guys had bought me and tiptoed from my room and down the hall to Zack’s.
Nick had bathed him and put him to bed hours ago. Now he lay in his crib, fast asleep and looking so peaceful. His room was filled with a comforting scent – a perfect mix of baby lotion and Nick’s aftershave. I sank down into the comfortable armchair that sat in the corner.
I lay my head back against the soft cushion and closed my eyes, the sound of Zack’s little inhales and exhales calming me down and putting a halt on my rising anxiety. For a while I just sat there, breathing in the comforting scent, and taking calm from those little quiet breaths.
Eventually I tucked my legs up under me and before too long I was being lulled to sleep by the rhythmic breathing and the calm of the room.
***
I jolted and leapt awake in panic as I felt the odd sensation of being moved. My eyes snapped open as I struggled in the grip a little, but as soon as I saw Harris I calmed.
“It’s okay. It’s just me. I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered.
“It’s okay. I’m a light sleeper now,” I explained sleepily. He had me in his arms and my head lay against his shoulder. “What time is it?” I asked.
“Late. Your brothers just left,” he told me as we moved out of Zack’s room.
“They’re not driving are they?”
“No. They called for a cab. I offered to let them stay, but they wanted to go back to the hotel,” he explained. “They’ll be back tomorrow, and this time I think it should all go much more smoothly. I think we’re actually all getting along.”
“I’ll believe that when I see it,” I got out between yawns.
“What were you doing in Zack’s room? Did he wake up? We didn’t hear anything on the monitor?
“No. I just didn’t want to be alone. I couldn’t sleep,” I admitted. We were in my room now, and Harris sat on the edge of the bed and settled me in his lap so I was facing him.
“Why didn’t you call for one of us, or send a message? I knew I shouldn’t have let you come up here alone,” he said, uttering the last part more to himself. He’d obviously had a bit to drink, because I could smell it on his breath and his voice was a little raspier and quieter than usual, but he wasn’t drunk.
“I…I don’t want them to know. It’s ridiculous for me to be scared to sleep alone,” I admitted.
“You mean your brothers?”
“Yeah. They always taught me to be brave and strong. I’m pretty far from that right now,” I scoffed.
“Ev, we’ve talked about this. Your brothers are so proud of everything you’ve overcome. They would never judge you or even be disappointed by anything you need to cope with the aftermath. You need to have more faith in them.”
“I know. I just…” Whatever I was about to say was cut off by a huge thud that made the walls shake, followed by a deep, terrifying roar.
“Shit!” Harris cursed as he set me on the bed and leapt to his feet.
“What’s going on?” I squeaked through my tight throat. “Is someone in the house?”
“It’s Nick. He’s having a nightmare. Can you grab Zack and get him downstairs? Nick’s nightmares can get pretty violent.”
“Y-yeah. Will Nick be okay?” I asked as I got to my feet, my legs shaking hard beneath me. Harris took my hand and pulled me to the door, opening it just slightly and looking into the hall.
“He’ll be fine, but it might take the three of us to calm him down,” Harris explained as he pulled me from my room and towards Zack’s. I didn’t want to waste time as more roars of anger and sounds of destruction came from Nick’s room, so I hurried in and gathered Zack into my arms. He was already awake and screaming blue murder at being awoken so abruptly.
“We ready for this?” Kailan was asking as he emerged from his room at the same time as Aleks came from his. They both looked sleepy.
“Fuck no, but do we have a choice?” Aleks groaned. He wasn’t wearing his glasses and he looked even younger without them.
“Stay downstairs until one of us comes to let you know it’s safe, yeah?” Harris told me as he leaned over and kissed my temple. I nodded, knowing anything I said would barely be heard over the racket Nick was making, then I hurried for the stairs, wanting to get Zack some place calmer and quieter.
I went straight to the kitchen to grab a juice box and some cookies from the refrigerator, then I headed for the home gym. It was the furthest space from the chaos above us, and I didn’t want Zack to hear his dad like that.
By the time I had us shut in the gym, Zack was screaming so hard he was turning colors, so I dumped everything and just sat on the floor to hold him. I cradled him tightly to me and babbled nonsense until finally he stopped crying and was just listening to me as he clutched his blue bunny tightly in his fist.
Once I got him settled on the floor between my legs with a cookie in his fist, he was back to his happy self, only he was now wide awake in the middle of the night. At least he wasn’t screaming though.
I leaned back against the cold mirror behind me and worried about Nick. What must he have suffered to go through a nightmare like that, even years later? What had they all been subjected to at the hands of those monsters?
I worried about how Nick would react when the guys calmed him and woke him up. Would he go straight for a drink, like he used to when I first arrived? He had come so far in the last couple of weeks. I didn’t want this to set him back.
After about twenty minutes Zack had devoured every morcel of the two cookies I had allowed him and the juice box was drained. Now he just looked sleepy, so I lay out a few towels on top of one another from the pile on the shelf and lay him on them, then curled up on my side around him. He cooed and reached for me for a few minutes, but then his eyes were heavy and within seconds he was asleep again, his bunny still clutched by its ears in his hand.
Once I was sure he was settled and comfortable I turned, star fishing on my back on the cold tile floor. I couldn’t stop worrying. Shouldn’t they have come down by now? What if one of the guys had gotten hurt and they didn’t want to tell me? Would there always be nights like this for all of us if things worked out in our relationship? Would there always be nights where one of us was losing our shit and trashing the house in our desperate attempts to flee the horrors of our pasts? If it was like that, could I handle it? Could they?
My thoughts were on a serious downward spiral when finally the door of the gym opened and Nick walked in. He looked unharmed, and he had obviously showered, his hair still wet.
Tears choked me as I jumped to my feet and ran to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my self as tightly as I could into his front.
“Are you okay?” I eventually managed to squeak out.
“Yeah. I’m so sorry, baby. Did I scare the shit out of you?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around me and held me back.
“Only because I was worried about you. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sure. So are the others, though Harris might have a few bruises in the morning. It’s been a while since I had a night terror that bad,” he admitted.
“At least you didn’t hide in the garden,” I joked, thinking back to the night I had lost it and scared them all.
“Was Zack okay?”
“He’s fine, but I may have bribed him slightly with chocolate chip cookies,” I confessed, making him chuckle. “He’s fast asleep again now, but I think he needs changing.”
“I’ll take care of it. You should head up to bed. You must be exhausted. The others are waiting in the kitchen for you.”
“Will you come to my room once you’ve taken care of Zack? I can’t sleep alone,” I told him, but I had ulterior motives too. I wanted him with me, so I knew he really was okay. I didn’t want him looking for the bottle of scotch I knew was sitting in the kitchen cupboard.
“Not tonight, baby. I could have another nightmare and hurt you,” he sighed.
“Please. The others can be in there too. They’ll wake you up if they need to. I just don’t want to be alone, not tonight.”
“I’m a mess, Evie.”
“We’re all a mess, Nick. That’s why we fit together so perfectly.”
“You’re not going to take ‘no’ for an answer, are you?” he asked.
“Nope. We need each other. Especially when something like this happens. No more hiding. I think that should be the first rule of our relationship.”
“Fine, but that means no more hiding for you too. Harris told me what happened earlier. Why wouldn’t you just come to us?”
“I’m coming to you now, aren’t I? I’m begging you not to make me be alone tonight because I…I just don’t think I can handle it…not after everything. Seeing him again, it’s made it all so much more messed up in my head,” I tried to explain tearfully.
“You’re safe, baby. We won’t let him hurt you again. We’ve got you and we never want to let you go.” He held me even tighter as he covered the top of my head with gentle kisses.
“I don’t think I want you to.”
“Good. Now go and find the others. I’ll take care of the munchkin, then I’ll be in too, okay?”
“Okay,” I whispered. He moved to release me, but I tightened my hold around his neck and pulled him down closer, so I could press my lips to his. I could taste my tears as the kiss deepened, Nick wrapping his arms around me again and turning me slightly so he could kiss me at just the angle he wanted. He took control, his tongue seeking entrance to my mouth and then attacking me and whipping me into a lust infused daze as I just hung on and tried to keep up. When he pulled away for air, I just stood there gasping, staring at him.
“How are you all such amazing kissers?” I asked, the words just spilling from me without my permission.
“All, huh? You been busy today, Evie?” he teased.
“Forget that. It was a comment for inside my head,” I explained with a blush.
“I’ll take amazing, babe, and I’m pretty sure the others will too,” he chuckled.
“Oh God!” I slammed my hand over my face in embarrassment.
“Go on. Upstairs, before any more inside thoughts find their way out.” He turned me to the door and playfully swatted my ass to get me moving. I was still so dazed from the kiss I didn’t even say anything, I just went.
These guys were seriously going to be the end of me. I’d never survive all four of them and the way they could make me feel, but I was pretty sure it’d be fun trying, and if it did end me? Well, how else would a girl want to meet her maker?