Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy (Murder Daddy #3)

11. Bennet

CHAPTER 11

BENNET

W hen Nate said he was taking us on our first date, I didn’t expect him to take us anywhere fancy, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not a little disappointed by the venue he’s selected. He’s being awfully secretive about why he’s taken us to the mall, but he keeps telling us we can trust him, so that’s what I do. I put my trust in Daddy’s hands.

He claims to have something special planned, but Benji keeps dragging us into various shops, delaying Nate’s plans. The first thing we did after arriving was stop by one of the snack stalls where Nate bought us each a soft pretzel. He keeps dipping his pretzel in honey mustard, and every time he takes a bite, a little more mustard sticks to the corners of his mouth. I kind of want to lean in and lick it off, but we’re in public, so it’s probably not a good idea, what with this being the Bible Belt.

Store after store, Benji drags us both inside, roaming around looking for God knows what. For his part, Nate doesn’t seem terribly bothered by the way Benji keeps derailing whatever he has planned for our date. He just follows along, asking Benji if he wants any of the endless items he touches along the way. Each time, Benji shyly shakes his head. I know he’s nervous about Nate spending money on him, but Daddy looks genuinely crushed each time Benji turns him down. Because Benji hasn’t taken him up on his many offers, I can’t bring myself to say yes, either. I don’t want to seem greedy.

When we pass the public restroom, Nate points at the sign, silently asking if we need to relieve ourselves. I’ve barely drank anything all day, so I’m good, and Benji shakes his head, sticking to my side like glue. Nate points at a small bench by the door and instructs us to wait for him. Once he’s out of ear shot, I squeeze Benji’s hand.

“Baby?”

He looks over at me with dreamy eyes. “Yeah?”

God. I really want to kiss him right now. Falling in love with your best friend is a surreal experience, and the way he stares at me like I’m God’s gift to the gay community makes my heart swell with pride.

“I think we’re upsetting Nate.”

His mouth falls open, making him look absolutely crestfallen. “What? How?”

“He wants to treat us, but we keep turning him down each time he tries. I think we should let him buy us a couple of things so he’ll feel better.”

Benji’s chewing on his cheek, staring past me, toward the bathroom door. “I don’t want him to feel like we’re using him for money. We haven’t gone to work in almost a week.” He bites his bottom lip, looking lost in contemplation. “Do you think we should have called Agent Meadows to tell him we weren’t coming in? Is he going to fire us?”

“I don’t know.” Honestly, it’s probably something we should have thought of. Contacting Meadows to tell him we needed a few days off to figure out this stuff with Nate, but it didn’t even register. “Probably.”

Benji sighs. “Oh, well. No great loss, I guess. I just don’t want to seem like we’re taking advantage of Dad. He’ll throw us away like everyone else.”

“Son?” Nate’s voice startles both of us. I didn’t even hear him approach. Slowly, we turn our attention to him, and my heart drops when I see his downturned expression. He kneels in front of us, and his beautiful bald head sparkles in the light. That old, bizarre urge to stare into his bald head like a crystal ball and play witches rears its head again, but I push that desire down. Maybe we can do it later, though. When I look over at Benji, he’s shaking, but his body steadies when Nate squeezes his knee. “I will never throw you away.”

Benji nods, but he still looks like a child that’s just gotten caught going through their parents’ private belongings when they weren’t looking. “Did you hear everything?”

He shakes his head. “Just the part about throwing you away.” His finger brushes back and forth against Benji’s knee. “If something is worrying you, I need you to tell me. That’s what we agreed on, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. I know it is, it’s just scary.”

“If you’re scared, I need you to tell me, baby. I don’t have your twin powers, remember?”

“You’re getting better at it though,” I say, wanting to lighten the mood. “Good Daddy.”

Nate blushes, and I know I just made him feel all warm and fuzzy. It sends my stomach spinning beneath my skin. “You think so?”

I nod. “The best Daddy.”

“It’s true,” Benji says. “You really are.”

“I’m really glad you boys think so.” Color floods his cheeks, making him look like a nervous virgin. “Now, will one of you tell me what’s got you so worried? Is it something I can fix?” The worry on his face is clear. It must be obvious to Benji, too, because he places his hand on top of Nate’s and squeezes.

“Bennet thinks you might be upset that we won’t let you buy us anything.”

“I’m not upset,” Nate clarifies. “I mean, I would love to treat both of you, but if it’s something that makes you uncomfortable, it’s fine. I promise.”

“But it would make you feel good?” I ask.

He’s got the warmest smile on his face when he looks at me. “Nothing makes me happier than caring for you. If you’d rather we come back after you get your first paycheck so you can use your own money, that’s fine too.”

“That’s the other thing,” I add. “We’re not sure we’ve even still got the job. We didn’t think of calling to ask Meadows for a few days off. He’s probably fired us already.”

Nate chuckles. “Buddy, I called him and told him you’ve both had a hard time with everything, and you needed some time to regroup. He said you can show up whenever you want.”

“Why would he do that?” Benji asks. “Why would he go out of his way for us?”

“From what I’ve gathered, he’s very close with Brody and Abi. He wants to take care of you, boys. Just like me. Well, either that or he has a crush on you.” Nate’s hand forms a fist at his side. “God help him if that’s the case.”

“Are you gonna beat him up, Daddy?” I ask, smiling at the thought.

“I’ll kick his butt from here to Timbuktu.” Dad stands up and points to his left. “Now, are you boys going to let me treat you or not?”

I hop up from my seat, thankful to have such a protective papa bear looking after us. His hand is empty, and we can’t have that, so I weave our fingers together and give him a squeeze. “I can’t wait.”

Benji’s next, standing up from his seat and taking Daddy’s other hand. “If it’s what you want, then let’s do it.”

We make our way toward the end of the mall. It’s been over a year since we’ve been here. After Tatum left our unhappy home, the monster didn’t let us go outside too much. Aside from working at the bar and our daily trips to the mailbox at the end of our yard, we haven’t spent much time in civilization. There are lots of loud noises all around. Bangs and clangs coming from inside various shops. Other customers talking as they walk past us, most smiling warmly at the sight of three grown men holding hands. Sure, they probably think he’s our dad, but that’s not the point. There are kiosk workers shouting sales pitches as we pass, and even a lady offering impromptu back massages for a small fee. We pass them all, and by the time we reach Nate’s destination, I’m shaking with nerves. Daddy must know his boy is struggling, because his grip tightens around my hand, and he leans down long enough to whisper, “I’ve got you, baby. You’re safe.”

Baby.

Every time he uses it, it feels like my heart’s going to explode. There’s so much care in his voice when he says it.

“Thank you.” I look up at him, and he’s got a beautiful smile stretched across his face. I want to make it stretch even wider. “Best Daddy ever.”

Nate leans down and kisses my forehead. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

When I look ahead to see where this first date is supposed to take place, I gasp. Benji sucks in a sharp breath when he sees it too. The Build-A-Bear Workshop. It’s one of our favorite places in the world. When it first opened, back when we were teenagers, we used to beg Mom to bring us, but she’d always push it off for later. Sometimes we would wait until she’d passed out from day-drinking and steal her car. We never had the money to buy a bear, and after a few months of weekly visits where we never bought anything, the manager asked us to never return. It broke my heart, because Benji would spend hours looking at all the options. Touching every accessory available. Imagining what his perfect teddy bear might look like if he was ever able to afford one. Scarves, little bear gloves, shoes—Benji allowed his mind to run wild. It was his Disney World, and that world was taken away from him by the hateful heifer behind the counter with her stupid red hair and her ugly poodle skirt. She cracked Benji’s heart that day, and I’m going to get her back. One of these days, I’m going to take something she loves and crush it in front of her.

Benji sniffles, and it’s a sound that splits my heart in two.

“What’s wrong, little guy?” Nate asks. Benji doesn’t answer. He can’t answer, judging by the heartbroken look on his face.

“We’re not allowed inside,” I finally tell Dad. “We used to come here when we were teenagers. We didn’t have a lot of money, so we couldn’t ever buy anything. They kicked us out and said we couldn’t come back.”

Nate glares at the store like it’s an affront to all he holds dear. I guess it is. “When was this?”

“About five or six years ago.” I know he won’t judge us for it, but I still feel embarrassed to admit we were sixteen years old and still visiting toy stores.

He looks down at me with the most determined expression I’ve ever seen. “Yes, well, we’ll see about that.” Grabbing each of our hands, he leads us into the store. I look around the shop, my feet just itching with anticipation. As I take in the scent of warm vanilla and Build-A-Bear happiness, I have a silly urge to rock back and forth on my heels like a child. I resist the urge. Benji, on the other hand, is having less success. He’s basically bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. He looks like he’s pretty close to prying his hand out of Nate’s grip so he can rummage through the aisles the way we used to.

Unfortunately, I realize that’s probably not going to be possible once I see the woman behind the counter. It’s the same lady who kicked us out when we were teenagers, and she’s glaring at us like she has our faces memorized by heart. I guess the sight of two teenagers wearing matching clothes was enough to emblazon us into her memory. She’s staring right into my eyes, and it’s a look that makes me more than a little fearful.

“Marnie?” Daddy whispers to himself. Does he know her?

“Out,” she growls, looking almost feral. “Out, now! I won’t say it again. No vagrants, and no loitering. Not on my watch.”

Daddy’s face is redder than I’ve ever seen it. “Excuse me?”

The woman tears her eyes away from mine, and the moment she spots Nate, she freezes. “Nathan?”

“Mrs. McGuire.” The name is said calmly, but the look on his face is anything but. He’s out for blood. “Is there a problem?”

She’s smirking at us like she’s got some trump card up her sleeve, but as hard as I try, I can’t figure out what we ever did to deserve this much resentment. “They aren’t welcome here. We had to ban them for their treachery. They used to come in here and wander around for hours touching everything and moving inventory around.”

“That’s not true!” Benji shouts. “I touched the teddy bears, but I didn’t move anything.” He’s right. Benji was always very careful not to mess up the display racks. Oftentimes, he would pick up items that had been dropped, and he would place them neatly back in their home, claiming every customer deserved an untainted Build-A-Bear experience.

“Oh, you moved them all right. I spent hours cleaning up your mess.”

He shakes his head frantically. “She’s lying, Dad. I would never do that!” He stares at her looking almost heartbroken. “Why are you lying? Why are you always so mean?” There are tears forming in his eyes, but as soon as one falls, he wipes it away. “You didn’t have to be so mean. We never did nothing to you, and you took this place away from us. It was the only place we—we didn’t—I wouldn’t . . .” He stares up at Nate, pleading with his eyes. “Dad, I wouldn’t.”

“I know,” Nate insists. “Baby, I know. You’re my good boy, and you always tell the truth.” He stares into Benji’s eyes for what feels like minutes, studying him. “I believe you, buddy. I’ll always believe you.” He kisses the corner of Benji’s mouth, telling him, “I’ll handle it. Don’t worry.” When he breaks the embrace, he turns and approaches the counter, leaning against it once he gets there. “Why are you lying, Marnie?” He thrums his fingers against the counter, waiting patiently, his eyes locked on the jerk behind the counter. “Well?”

“I’m not lying.” She clears her throat and looks away. “They’re not welcome here. They’re not here for the Build-A-Bear experience, they just come in and wreak havoc. It would have been different if they actually bought something.” She locks eyes with me, making my knees go wobbly. “Little grifters, both of them.”

“Is that so?” He pulls out his wallet and removes a really pretty black credit card from his wallet. “Well, I planned on treating them today, but if our money’s no good here, I suppose I’ll have to order something online.” Before Benji can object, Dad shoots him a look that I can read a mile off. With a single glance, he’s asking Benji for patience. For him to trust in Daddy, because he has this. Benji must see it, too, because he doesn’t put up a fight.

Daddy leans over the counter again, giving us a delightful view of his ass. He’s got such a cute butt. It’s not overly large like Tatum’s, but it’s an absolute vision, nonetheless. His slacks are wedged between his cheeks, leaving nothing to the imagination. I wonder if he’ll ever let us play with it. Benji’s not big on rimming, but I kind of want to do it all the time. Just have Daddy lie on his back and let me make out with his hole for hours on end while he reads or watches television. Maybe I’ll ask him later.

“If it’s truly a problem, I don’t mind,” he says to her. “I love to shop online, so it won’t hurt my feelings.” He pauses, his fingers tap-tap-tapping against the counter. “I enjoy doing a lot of things online, actually. Leaving reviews for places I love. Sharing tidbits about my life to my internet followers. I have hundreds of Tallulahns at my fingertips.” He stands suddenly and slides his credit card back in his wallet. “They love a scandal, Mrs. McGuire.”

Her eyes widen. “Nathan, I?—”

Daddy smiles at her, but it doesn't seem super genuine. “I believe I may be a bisexual demisexual, Mrs. McGuire.” He cocks his head to the side, looking genuinely confused. “Well, maybe it’s demisexual bisexual. Honestly, I think we’re in a bit of a the-chicken-or-the-egg situation, because I'm not sure which part of the label comes first Then we add the new polyamorous angle, and it gets even more confusing.” Her eyebrows scrunch together in confusion, but Daddy just keeps talking. “You’re the first person I’ve come out to. I didn’t even realize I was stuck inside a closet, but my boys yanked that door right open, bathing me in the rainbow.” His eyes narrow. “Funny thing, closets. We all have them. Some are small, barely able to house much at all. Oh, but the big ones, Marnie? They can hide and hoard skeletons for years.” He cocks his head to the side, just staring at her, blinking slowly. “Three, four . . . five years’ worth of secrets. What kind of secrets are hiding in yours?”

“Nathan. Mr. St. James?—”

“It’s Doctor,” he corrects, his voice sharp and firm. “But I’ll let that slide. What I can’t let slide is your blatant cruelty, or the way you apparently enjoy bullying teenagers who had absolutely nothing but the clothes on their back, and this place as a refuge. Did it make you feel good, Marnie? Treating my boys like trash?”

“I didn’t?—”

“Golly,” he says with a lighthearted chuckle, cutting her off. “I can’t think of anything worse than bullying children.” Daddy chews his cheek as he stares into the distance, then he widens his eyes dramatically as if a lightbulb has just gone off in his head. Sure, his acting skills are lackluster at best, but seeing him like this—so overwhelmingly possessive of his boys—more than makes up for his flair for the dramatic. “Actually, I can think of something worse. Much worse, if I’m being honest.”

“Please,” she whispers, leaning closer. “Please, don’t do this.”

“How’s Reverend Matthews?” His words have a cold, menacing tone to them, and judging by the look of abject horror on her face, Marnie must know exactly what he’s talking about.

“F-fine,” she stutters. “He’s fine.”

Daddy nods. “And his wife? His seven children?”

She looks away, and the harsh overhead lighting sparkles against the sweat now formed at her brow. “How should I know?”

“You’re Mrs. Matthews’ best friend. I should certainly hope you know how she is. Tell me, do you still play cards twice a week?” He glances over his shoulder at us. “Mrs. McGuire’s Bridge club is a staple around these parts. Women and homosexual men wait years to be invited into the fold. My ex-wife was a member once.” He turns back to Marnie. “Lindsay always had the best stories when she came home after a long night.” He waits for a response, but when she fails to provide one, any pretense of civility falls by the wayside. “This was Benjamin and Bennet’s happy place. You took that from them. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised—you have a habit of taking things that don’t belong to you. Don’t you, Mrs. McGuire? I just wonder if Mrs. Matthews is missing a husband. Shall we call her and ask?”

She quickly shakes her head, her eyes still locked on the counter as if she’s hoping a black hole might appear and swallow her up. “No, Dr. St. James.”

“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.” As if he hasn’t just threatened a woman’s livelihood, Daddy shoves his hands in his pockets and takes a few steps back until he’s right between us. “Now, I would like for you to apologize to my boys, and I would like you to help them pick out the best dang teddy bears this side of the border.” He shares a knowing smirk with me, then with Benji. “Doesn’t that sound fun, boys?”

She swallows. “I’m sorry, Nathan. Of course they can come in.” She stares down at us with a genuine look of terror. “I’m very sorry if I was cruel.” She darts her eyes to Daddy, then immediately back at us. “Please forgive me.”

A smile curls on Benji’s face as he watches her squirm. “Nope,” Benji says. Jesus. His smile keeps spreading even wider until I can see every tooth he has. I’m pretty sure he’s getting off on this. “You’re not forgiven. Too bad, so sad, if you do it again, I’m gonna tell Dad.”

Nate snorts, letting out a loud, overwhelming belly laugh. “God, you’re adorable. All right. Let’s build some bears.”

Nate leads us away from the counter, toward the wall of unstuffed bears. As Benji picks through them carefully, I look up at Nate. He’s staring at Benji like a father watching his son’s turn at bat during the Little League championship. I still can’t believe any of this is real. When we were younger, Benji used to lie on our bed and draw doodles of what his perfect Build-A-Bear would look like, knowing he wouldn’t ever get to have one of his own. I would indulge him, drawing poor depictions of potential bear friends. As silly as it was, it always centered me. While my mom was passed out drunk in the living room, I could fade away from the real world and feel at peace, if only for a moment. Nate’s been going through a lot, too, and I kind of want him to feel that peace. To stare down at the bear he bought with us and know he’s loved.

“Was there something you needed, son?” he asks, pulling me out of my head. I have to blink a few times to get my bearings.

“Obviously,” I spit out before covering my mouth with the hand not holding Daddy’s. “Sorry. That was really rude. It just slipped out.” Daddy lets go of me and pulls my hand away from my mouth. There isn’t a drop of anger on his face like I expected. Instead, there’s this overwhelming look of awe. “I’m so sorry.”

He gives me no chance to react, just leans in and kisses me with everything he’s got. Unlike the kisses before, Daddy doesn’t settle for a peck on the lips. His tongue tears through my mouth, twirling with mine. It goes on and on until it feels like our tangling tongues are the only things left in the world. When he finally breaks the kiss, he rests his forehead against mine.

“Don’t ever apologize for showing your bratty side. It’s beautiful, Bennet. Watching you come out of your shell—seeing you open up to me—you have no idea what it does to me.” There’s a new look in his eyes. One that makes my pants dance a little as my dick swells beneath them. Glancing down, I notice the telltale signs of an erection forming in his slacks as well.

“Naughty Daddy,” I whisper, nipping at his chin. “Horny Daddy.”

His lips are parted, and he’s breathing heavily against my face, the scents of mall pretzels and mustard almost lull me into a hypnotic state. “Dang right, I am.” He gives me another quick kiss, and when it’s done, he doesn’t retreat, just touches his forehead against mine again and smiles. “What was it you wanted to ask me, sweetheart?”

Now that I’ve got his attention, I’m feeling a little unnerved. It’s such a silly little want, but it’s something I want more than anything at this very moment. “Will you also get a bear?”

“You want me to get a bear, son?”

I nod. “If this is a date, I want you to have something to remember it by too.”

“I would love that.” He gives me another quick kiss on the lips before looking over at Benji. Benji’s got his cheek between his teeth, chewing softly as he tries to find the perfect stuffy. “Benjamin?” Benji looks over his shoulder, smiling when he sees Nate staring down at him. Nate holds a hand out, inviting him over, and it’s an invitation Benji jumps at. He rushes over until they’re standing chest to chest. Nate grabs him by the waist, pulling him closer until there’s no space left between them. Their mouths connect and Nate’s tongue slips past Benji’s lips, Benji’s eyes bulge at the sudden intrusion, but it doesn’t take him long to melt into the embrace, allowing Daddy to control the kiss.

It’s strange, really. In the past, with other boyfriends, I’ve always had trace amounts of jealousy when they’d kiss Benji like this. There was always a small ball of resentment settled in the pit of my stomach, and I could never understand where it came from. Now, I know. Even with Tatum, it never felt this natural, and that’s all down to Nate. This steamy kiss doesn’t leave me hot and bothered. It leaves me in awe. Breathless. Dumbfounded by how true it feels.

“I love you, Dad,” Benji says as he pulls away. He turns to me. “And I love you, Bennet.” He takes both our hands and kisses our knuckles, one by one.

“We love you, buddy.” He stares past us, toward the display rack in the back, housing endless options of potential new teddy bears. “Those bears look awfully lonely over there. Do you think we can find a few to bring home with us?”

Benji’s nodding like an overexcited child, tugging the tail of my shirt. “Yeah. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

Daddy leads us over to the display rack and stares at the selection like it’s the hardest decision he’ll ever make. Benji slides out of Daddy’s hold and rushes forward, falling to his knees as he inspects the options at the bottom. He ooh’s and ah’s over teddy bears and bunnies, studying each face in search for his new best friend. There’s a really adorable bear that kind of reminds me of Nate. He’s got big brown eyes and super dark lashes. He’s even got eyebrows, and a few of them are longer than the rest, making them look bushy like Nate’s. He’s absolutely adorable.

Every fiber of my being wants to let go of my fear and just let myself be wild, but I’m scared Nate might look at me like I’m stupid if I let my playful side out. Then I look up at him, and I feel like I’m radiating in the love he’s pouring out of his eyes, right at us. He must be able to tell I’m nervous about something because he gives me an assuring nod and mouths, “You’re okay. You’re safe.”

Safe.

We’re finally safe.

He’s told us countless times, but this is the first time the words truly register. I know I’m safe. I know he won’t shame me, because this is my Daddy. This is the Daddy I’ve dreamed of all my life. The Daddy I want to stay with for the rest of my life.

I’m in love with him.

It’s an awakening, but more than that, it feels like destiny. Like all the hurt and our three broken hearts were the cost we had to pay to get here. Now, no one can take it away, because we’ve earned it. We’ve paid our dues. Three hearts beating in time.

I touch my half-heart necklace and smile, because there’s an idea forming in my mind. Hopefully when and if we get a paycheck from the agency, I can breathe life to that dream. For now, though, I allow myself to be wild, because, like Daddy said, I’m safe.

It starts with a bounce. Then another. After a few more, I’m rocking back and forth on my feet, my toes feeling tingly. I grab the bear and whirl around, holding it out to show Daddy. He’s going to love it just as much as I do, I just know it!

“Daddy,” I blurt, holding the bear out for him to inspect. “It’s you! I found you.” I shake it in front of his face. “What do you think?”

God. That smile. He snorts an adoring laugh. “Well, if you’d give me a chance to look at it, I’d love to tell you.”

I freeze in place, shoving it at him as I smile with pride, as if I’m the person who stitched the creation together. “He’s really handsome. Just like you.” My cheeks are a little warm, but I don’t let that stop me. “And he’s got your big bushy eyebrows and your super-cute eyes.”

“You think I have pretty eyes?”

“Everything about you is pretty, sir.”

He takes the bear and inspects him thoroughly. “He’s precious,” Daddy says before handing the bear back to me. His hand touches my cheek, and he kisses the tip of my nose. “That’s a very good choice, son.”

I’m rocking back and forth, swaying like a super-strong tree during a tornado, wanting more. Wanting to show him how much I appreciate him. Needing him to know.

Daddy arches an eyebrow at me. “Is something on your mind, buddy?” He combs his fingers through my hair, tussling it until it probably looks ridiculous, but I don’t care.

“I wanna tell you something, but I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

“Is that right?” He’s got a serious expression on his face, like he knows it must be important, but he doesn’t want to push. “Will I like what you have to say?”

His eyes are burning holes through me, and I can’t handle the weight of the gaze, so I stare down at my shoes. They’re really cute shoes. But then, Daddy bought them for me, so I guess they’d have to be.

“I hope so,” I whisper, twisting my ankle back and forth like I’m trying to drill a hole into the hardwood floor. Maybe if I drill far enough, I can fall into that hole just to escape all this pressure that’s pressing down on me. Daddy’s being so quiet, and I’m worried he might know what I’m wanting to tell him, and maybe he doesn’t want to hear it yet. “I really, really hope so.”

He slides a finger under my chin and tugs until I’m looking him in the eyes. “I think I might have something to say to you too, Bennet.”

“Yeah?” I ask, my voice cracking.

“Yeah, baby, I do.” God. Why does he have to look at me like that? There’s so much affection in his eyes, and it feels overwhelming. I can’t cope with this. Not in here. Not when nasty Marnie might pop up at any time just to invade our moment. I can’t tell him here. It has to be special, because Daddy’s the most special man I know.

Daddy must know I’m struggling, because he gives me another kiss before stroking the empty bear I selected. “Do you want to go stuff this little guy?”

“Yes, please.”

After the bears are stuffed, we select our outfits. For mine, I choose a suit and tie, just like the ones Daddy wears to work. I even get him a pair of glasses like the ones he wears when he reads. When I show it to him, Daddy looks so freaking proud of me. Benji’s bear is super cute. It’s got pink fur and big blue eyes, giving it a cotton candy vibe. He dresses his bear in a white shirt and a pair of slacks, just like the ones I picked for my Daddy bear. Then he gives his plush pal a pair of adorable glasses, similar to the ones I selected for mine. As for Daddy, he picks two bears with blond fur, and he dresses them in matching onesies. Our home will now have two Dad slash Daddy bears, and two bears that look like me and Benji.

Daddy doesn’t let us listen when he records a message and has the little voice boxes stitched into Benji and my bear’s tummies. That’s okay. We don’t let him hear the ones we record for him, either. Maybe when we get home, though, because I think he needs to hear it just as much as we need to hear it said back.

With the bags holding our bears in one hand and Dad’s hand in the others, we head toward the exit, but something catches Benji’s eye and he stops walking.

“Dad?”

“Yes, son?”

“Do you trust me?”

He chuckles. “Of course I do.”

“Good. Because I’ve got an idea, and it’s one that’s going to make you even sexier than you are now.”

Daddy’s cheeks darken. “You think I’m sexy?”

“Yeah.” Benji looks back at him and grins at him. “I’ll show you how much, tonight.”

“You will?”

“Yeah. Gonna do stuff to your penis. Come to terms with it, because it’s happening.”

Daddy stares down at me with a cocky grin, as if he’s asking, ‘ Can you believe this? ’ If he’s hoping I’ll stop this slutty train from flying off the tracks, he’s mistaken.

“He’s right,” I say with a shrug. “While he’s doing stuff to your penis, I’m gonna do stuff to your butt.”

“To my butt?” Daddy’s eyes are practically bulging out of his head, but the longer he stares at me, all that tension seems to fade away until he’s back to his goofy, sunshiny self. “What kind of stuff?”

I peck him on the cheek. “Gonna have to wait and find out.”

“If you’re done eye-fucking each other like there’s no tomorrow, I’d appreciate it if you’d pay attention, please,” Benji says. We look over at him, and it’s adorable that he’s still got his arm pointed at whatever target he’s chosen. I follow the path his extended finger creates and gasp when I realize what he has in store for Daddy. A hair salon.

Benji reaches for the side of Daddy’s face and runs his fingers through the ring of hair beneath the hairless landing strip on top. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I think you’d look really handsome if you shaved this.”

Daddy’s smile fades and he looks away. Oh, God. He’s embarrassed, isn’t he? Dammit. I don’t want him to feel self-conscious. I open my mouth to try and provide comfort, but Benji’s beaten me to the punch. His hand is on Daddy’s cheek, and he tugs until they’re eye to eye.

“You are one of the two most beautiful men I’ve ever met. Whether you shave this or not, that will never change.” Benji turns and calls to me. “Bennet?”

“Yeah?”

He holds his hand out expectantly, not breaking eye contact with Daddy. “My bear. Now.”

The bag shakes with my hand and Benji’s gaze darts at me, shooting me a death glare. “Earth to Bennet. Dad’s having a nervous breakdown. Get the bears.”

“A nervous breakdown?” Daddy asks, dumbfounded.

Benji quickly nods his head. “I know a nervous breakdown when I see one. You’re coming apart at the seams.”

“I’m literally just standing here.”

He balls his hand into a fist and growls. “I’m trying to make a big, sappy declaration of love, here. You’re ruining it. Stop ruining it.”

“A declaration of love?” Daddy’s cheeks darken, and he looks good enough to eat—a sentiment Benji shares, because he stands on his toes and playfully nibbles at Nate’s earlobe. I’ve got the bag in my hand, holding it out for Benji. He pulls away from Dad and reaches into the bag, pulling out the bears we stuffed. Dad’s bears are still in the other bag, and I’m not going to push him to share his secret message with us yet. He’ll share his feelings when he’s ready.

Benji places the bear beside Daddy’s ear and squeezes the voice activator. “I love you, Dad,” Benji’s voice plays out through the speaker in its tummy. “And I’m gonna love you forever. I promise. Gonna suck your cock, too. Just you wait.”

Daddy stares at the teddy, smiling ear to ear. “I love you, too, Benjamin.” Rather than kiss Benji directly, he presses his lips against the bear’s forehead and gives him a kiss, then places it in front of Benji, who presses his lips in the same spot Daddy just kissed.

Benji stares at me expectantly, but I can’t move my arm to hand the bear over. It’s like both the bear and my arm are made of cement. Daddy gives me a reassuring nod, telling me, “It’s okay, baby. Really.” It doesn’t feel okay, though. I meant the words I said into the microphone earlier, it’s just really, really scary to let them out into the universe. But he deserves to hear them. So, while I can’t move my arm, I curl my fingers, squeezing the little guy’s tummy.

“I love you, Daddy,” my voice plays out. It’s soft and so very hopeful. More hopeful than I feel right now. “I’m in love with you, and I don’t ever want to fall out of love with you. So I’m yours, okay? I’m yours forever.”

I close my eyes tight, too scared to look him in the eyes. I know Daddy loves me, but I can’t stop worrying about what losing that love might do to me.

Someone takes the bag I’m holding. A pair of lips touch my cheek, kissing a pathway to my ear.

“You have no idea what you do to me, Bennet,” Daddy whispers in a husky voice I’m not terribly familiar with. I kind of want to get acquainted with it, though, because the way it sounds like his tongue’s been drenched in desire and pure, unadulterated deviancy makes my dick swell to life in my shorts. I open my eyes as he pulls away, and he stares at me like he’s looking into my soul. “Do you still want to do stuff to my butt tonight?”

“Yes!” I answer a little too quickly. “I mean, yes, please. Sir. I want that. I really, really want that.”

“Okay, then. Let’s go shave my head, then we can head home.” He looks around, making sure no one’s staring before taking my hand and guiding it toward his crotch. His cock is half-hard already, and the longer he stares into my eyes, the stiffer it becomes. “It seems my penis loves you, too, little guy.”

I lick my lips. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Neither can I,” Benji says, his voice soft and affectionate as he places his hand beside mine. “We’re going to make you feel so good, Dad. I promise.”

Dad blushes. “Well, then. Let’s get this show on the road.”

“Wait!” I say, holding my hands up, asking for a moment. “Daddy, would it be okay if I borrowed three-hundred dollars from you?” Daddy cocks an eyebrow, silently asking for an explanation. “I can pay you back when we get a paycheck from work. Well, if we get a paycheck. There’s something I want to get you. Something that will make it feel like we’re a trio instead of just a duo.” I stare down at my shoes, embarrassed to have to ask him for this. I’m a grown man. I should be able to pay for a stupid necklace.

Daddy reaches into his wallet and pulls out his debit card. “You’ve got ten minutes, buddy. It won’t take them long to shave the sides of my head, and I’ll need my card back.” He kisses my forehead. “I want you to take Benjamin, and I want you to pick out whatever you want. Okay? I don’t care how much it costs. Well, I mean, I’d prefer it if you didn’t spend thousands, but I’ve got a nice nest egg set aside, so I’m not worried. If this is something that will make you feel more happy—more secure—then I want you to have it.”

“You’re sure?”

He nods, his gaze flicking back and forth between Benji and myself. “Absolutely.”