Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy (Murder Daddy #3)

12. Nate

CHAPTER 12

NATE

T he car ride home is spent in relative silence. That’s not to say the atmosphere is tense. Far from it, actually. Benji and Bennet are buckled into the back seat, each of them cuddling affectionately with their new teddy bears. Seeing them so carefree while building their bears was one of the highpoints of my life. In a little over two months, I’ve managed to heal their heartbreak. I patched over the cracks Benito left behind, and I’ve got them smiling again.

We left the mall an hour later than I intended, mainly because I couldn’t get my boys to stop touching my newly shaved head long enough to drive us home. For fifty minutes, my Bens kissed and caressed my head, telling me I was beautiful. It’s been a really long time since I’ve heard those words, and hearing the sincerity in their voice, I think I’m starting to believe them. Seeing myself in the mirror for the first time felt like I was looking at a stranger. Pride flooded my body, because right behind me, Benji and Bennet were staring at me like a piece of meat. I truly believe they would have shoved me to the ground, ripped open my khakis, and rode me to the end if I’d allowed it.

I think I would have allowed it.

The closer we get to the house, the faster my heart races. My Bens are expecting some form of intercourse tonight. While I’m definitely on board, I worry my erectile dysfunction might end the night before it’s even begun. I know Bennet and Benji have said they won’t judge my penis, should it fail to rise, but that doesn’t make it any easier. What kind of a man would I be if I couldn’t fuck them? It’s what they crave. It’s what their bodies need, and there’s a very good chance it’s something I won’t be able to provide.

I can still see Lindsay’s disappointed eyes after the first few times my phoenix refused to rise from the ashes. Disbelief at first, then, the longer she played with it to no avail, disdain. She resented me for it, but it’s not as if I purposefully caused it. It wasn’t like I threatened my flaccid penis with amputation if it got hard. Toward the end, we just gave up altogether.

So far, I’ve had no erectile issues with my Bens. I think part of me is holding out hope that this is simply down to a potential sexual awakening on my part.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time researching demisexuality since my meeting with Mr. Brooks. I’ve taken to Facebook groups, Instagram influencers, and, finally, to Reddit. There are others like me, it seems. Men who didn’t realize they were some shade of the rainbow until later in life. There are other men who have never been able to achieve or maintain an erection before feelings for their partner blossomed.

I’m not much of a religious man, but that doesn’t stop me from sending up a prayer that this is the case. All I want is to be everything my boys need. Friend. Father. The best dang lover they’ve ever had.

“You’re nervous.” A hand touches my shoulder, and when I look behind me, Benji’s giving me a warm smile. “Don’t be worried, okay?” He unbuckles his seat belt and leans forward, kissing the side of my face. As if he’s trying to hide his words to protect my pride, he presses his lips against my ear and whispers, “If you have trouble tonight, it’s okay, baby.” He brings his arm around my chest, holding on tightly from behind. “Just like we don’t have to worry with you—you never have to worry with us. Okay?”

I pat his hand with mine. “Thank you.” I come to a stop at a red light which gives me the chance to lift his hand from my shoulder to my lips and give it a gentle kiss. “I’m okay. Promise.”

Through the rearview mirror, I watch Bennet staring down at his new teddy. He’s got the slightest smile on his face and it seems like he’s trying to dilute his emotions. I don’t say anything because I don’t want him to know I’ve interrupted this moment. It’s hard, though. Especially when he leans in and rubs his nose against his bear’s snout and whispers something I can’t make out. I could watch him like this for the rest of my life. Just tuck myself away in a dark corner and observe his every move.

Good Lord, I’m just as depraved as Tatum, aren’t I?

Once we’re back at home, Bennet immediately cuddles up on the couch with his bear. He invites me over, but I’ve got something I have to do first. The front door slams behind Benjamin and when I look back, he’s rushing to his room, claiming he wants a moment alone with his new friend. I make a pit stop in the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, then I take the stairs two at a time, ready to put my plan into action.

Upstairs, I strip down to my underwear and toss my clothes in the hamper, though I’m not really sure what the point is. Since the Bens started sleeping in here, the place looks like a warzone. Clothes hang off bedposts and the dresser. Bennet’s pink briefs are on the foot of the bed. Benji left a crop top dangling from the lampshade. It’s chaos on every level, but I like the chaos. I love the way they’ve flipped my life and home upside down in the short time they’ve been here. They’ve breathed new life in me. When I turned forty, I thought that was it. I assumed Lindsay and I would fall into comfortable familiarity, and ride it out until the end.

Things changed, though. Or, rather, she changed. Maybe I changed, too. Maybe I wasn’t the man she fell in love with. It isn’t fair for me to lay all the blame at her feet. It isn’t as if I truly fought for our marriage. I knew we were sinking, and I made no attempt to patch the holes in our relationship.

What Bennet, Benji, and I share isn’t healthy. While I’m under no illusion that we’re anything other than codependent—I simply don’t care. I want to care for them. I want to be their refuge in a way I never was for my wife. Does that make me a terrible person? Probably, but it’s the God’s-honest truth. The love I feel for my boys transcends anything I felt for Lindsay, even at the beginning. I’m harder than I’ve ever been, and that’s down to them. I can’t explain it, and I have no desire to psychoanalyze what any of this means.

I love them. It’s the only thing that matters. The men they are, the ones they’ll eventually become—I do and will love them with the entirety of my heart. And I want to be right there at their sides, watching their lives unfold like a Hallmark movie.

There’s a knock on my door, and when I look up in the mirror, I see Benji leaning against the doorframe, staring at me like I’m an icon. Something precious to be treasured.

“You all right, buddy?”

He looks away, and I can already tell something’s worrying him. It’s written all over his face. It’s right there in his scrunched-up brow. In the way he tugs at the tail of his shirt and stares down at his hand. The way his jaw trembles the longer I look into his eyes. I take a seat on the bed and pat the empty space beside me. He shuffles over, sliding one foot in front of the other instead of simply lifting his legs up and walking. Unfortunately, he’s wearing socks, so the second his skin touches mine, static electricity pops, startling both of us, but we soon settle next to each other, our thighs touching, hands resting atop, my pinkie reaching for his. The second our pinkies twist together, I’m more at peace than I’ve ever been. Having him here—my Benji. My son. My potential lover—right next to me, well . . . it sends my insides fluttering.

“Tatum called,” he whispers. I knew the call would come. Tatum had been insistent earlier. He’s coming home, and I’m terrified of what this will mean for our family. I can’t lose Tatum, but I can’t lose my boys, either. They’re all I’ve got left.

“How long?” I tighten my pinkie around his, refusing to let this moment slip away.

“He’ll be here in the morning. You won’t . . .” Benji sniffles, and the sound of it feels like a gunshot to the chest. Forget pinkies. I grip his hand as tightly as I can without hurting him. “You won’t let him talk you into breaking up with us, will you? I know he’s your son, but this—we’ve wanted this for so long. We’ve wanted a family of our own for forever, and now that we’ve got it, we don’t want to lose you.” He sniffles, but my good boy doesn’t look away. He stares me right in the eyes like a man. “ I can’t lose you, Nate.”

It feels like he’s just stabbed me in the heart. I am NOT Nate to him. I don’t think I ever have been. We both know who I am. Who I was born to be.

Their Saddy. No. Their dad.

“It’s Dad,” I remind him, because I can’t stand the thought of going back to being Nate to him. “Please don’t call me that again, Benjamin.” My words aren’t harsh. I’m not angry with him—I’m frightened. Frightened of losing him. Of losing that connection. “It breaks my heart, buddy.”

“I’m sorry. It just slipped out.”

A lie, but it isn’t one I call him out on. He’s just as scared as me, probably even more so. I cup his cheek and lean in, slipping my lips over his and giving him a quick kiss. When we pull away, he rests his forehead against my chest, his nose right against my shirt, and inhales me.

There’s an old picture of Lindsay and me hanging on the wall across from us. The St. James family at their finest. In the picture, we’re dressed to the nines, celebrating at Mayor Rivera’s first victory party. Tatum was in his late teens, and it had practically taken an act of congress to get him to agree to come with us. After I reminded him Mayor Rivera has one of the cutest butt’s out there, he quickly changed his tune, practically sprinting to his room to get dressed.

Oh, the way we sparkled that night. Lindsay dipped us in and out of conversations like a well-trained ballerina. “Linger long enough to make an impression,” she said to me beforehand. “Never long enough to risk sticking your foot in your mouth, grumpy bear.”

She loved me once.

Things change.

But the level of love we shared doesn’t even come close to what I feel right now. My boys don’t just need a boyfriend. They need—no. They deserve —someone in their corner. They deserve me just as much as I deserve them.

My Benji is scared right now, and we can’t have that, so I give him exactly what he needs. I release the hold I’ve got on his hand and his entire body slumps as if he thinks this is an attempt to pull away.

Never.

I place my hand on top of his and bring it to my thigh. His eyes track my movement as I drag him onward to glory, not stopping until he’s gripping my half-hard cock.

“That’s because of you, son. Because of you and Bennet. I promise, no matter what, I’m not going anywhere. You’ve got me as long as you want me.” I give him another reassuring kiss before nodding my head toward the door. “Go get your brother, baby.”

His entire body trembles when I call Bennet his brother. I think he loves this pseudocest bond just as much as I do. Benji’s on his feet in seconds, rushing toward the door, giving me the perfect view of his butt. He and Bennet have the nicest butts I’ve ever seen, it genuinely boggles my mind that they’re mine now. Mine to hold. To taste. To worship, should I so choose.

Yes. I choose that. I’ll always choose it.

When footsteps thud up the stairs, my heart races. I want to be ready for them. I want them to see me. All of me. Every inch between my legs. Every part I’ve ever kept hidden. I need them to know I’m theirs, just like they needed to know they’re mine, earlier. Standing, I shove down my underwear, and I wait for my boys.

I should have shaved earlier. It’s not as if we’ve been under any illusion that sex wasn’t in the cards tonight. I think I want them to see me wild. Part of me hopes they’re into pubic hair, because—even though I would do so without hesitation—I really don’t want to have to start manscaping. I prefer to live life naturally, bush and all.

My cock keeps slowly rising until it rests at four o’ clock. Their footsteps are close, so I take myself in my hand and slowly stroke, needing them to see what they do to me. What they’ve been doing to me for months.

They round the corner.

“Oh my fucking God,” they say in unison.

“Language,” I scold, stroking my shaft. I stare down at it, then back at them. “I don’t know how long this guy’s going to stay awake, so if you want to meet him, now’s the time.” They share a glance before rushing toward me, but I hold a hand up, pointing at the bed. “You boys sit at the foot of the bed. I’ll take this side.”

Their eyes widen. “What are you going to do?”

God. I love the way they do that. It really feels like twin magic whenever they speak in time with each other. “I’m going to introduce you to an old friend of mine.” I waggle my cock at them, loving the way their eyes widen at the action. “He’s really happy to meet you both.”

Benji’s knees go weak, but Bennet catches him before he falls. Slowly, they shift onto the bed, sitting crisscross applesauce, staring at the headboard. I kneel on the mattress and try to hobble forward. The sound of their gasps are undeniable, and when I look over my shoulder, they’re staring at my ass. Suddenly, it all makes sense. There’s no “Kick Me” sign back there. There never has been. My boys just like to look at my butt. I stop moving and flash a nervous smile, because I don’t have much of a rear end at all. There’s a bit of a hump, but it’s not prominent like Tatum’s. They’ve fucked him before. They’ve done things to his ass, and he’s done things to theirs. How the hell am I ever supposed to compete with that? After they’ve been with someone who could put one of those fitness Instagram men to shame, what on Earth could they ever see in me?

“I’m sorry,” I say, because I am, “that I don’t have much going on back there, I mean. I know you’ve been with?—”

“Daddy?” Bennet cuts me off, refusing to tear his eyes away from my butt. “Can I play with it?”

I cock an eyebrow. “With my butt?”

He nods. “I’d really like to lick all over it.”

Heat floods my cheeks, and I have to look away. Jesus. No one has ever placed their tongue . . . there . I’ve worked with patients who enjoy rimming, so I know the score, but it’s never been anything I’ve thought of exploring for myself. Now, I think I need it just as much as Benji.

“You can do anything you want to me, buddy.” I reach for him, tussling his hair. I move toward the pillows and plop down, leaning back against them. I want my boys to see all of me, so I bend my knees, bringing my feet closer to my ass, which spreads my cheeks for their viewing pleasure. They must catch sight of my hole, because they’re staring at me with bulging eyes and open mouths. With the hand not holding my cock, I lift my sack, presenting them with my Easter basket. “I’m yours.”

“Daddy,” Bennet rasps.

“Yeah. Daddy’s right here, little man. Why don’t you both come over here and give these guys a kiss?”

My boys are on their knees, crawling toward me within seconds. I lower my legs, allowing them to use my thighs as pillows. Once they’re resting on my thighs, Bennet and Benji stare into each other’s eyes. Bennet’s the first to move. He reaches for Benji’s hand and holds on for dear life as he brings his lips to my balls and presses a gentle kiss against the skin.

He whimpers and whines, and all it takes to get Benji going is a quick flick of my fingers through his hair. He dives down, sucking one of my balls. He moans at my flavor, the action making my entire sack vibrate.

I stroke myself as I stare down at them, feeling like a god amongst men. The way they act as if my pleasure is the only thing that matters in the world makes my cock swell even harder. I’m almost fully erect, and my boys are staring up at it like it’s their holy grail. A finger slips between my cheeks, and I cry out when it touches my hole. It has to be Benji’s doing. Bennet wouldn’t cross that line yet. Not without permission—though he never needs permission from me. Benji applies pressure, my hole opening up for the tip of his finger. Jesus. I’ve been missing out. I want him deeper. I want him in me, reminding me he’s mine.

“Does that feel good, sir?”

Sir.

If his plan was to make my cock stiffen into a full-blown erection, he’s succeeded. There’s even a pearl of pre-cum at the tip. I collect it with my thumb and hold it out for my boys. They launch forward, taking turns licking my fingertips.

“You said we could do anything we want, right?” Benji asks, sliding his finger further into my hole. He’s gone in dry, but I don’t give a damn. He could glue sandpaper on his finger and I’d still let him in.

“Anything,” I breathe, slowly stroking my shaft. “Whatever you want.”

Bennet looks over at Benji and smiles. He brings his hands to his chest like he’s about to play Rock, Paper, Scissors, and despite the fact Benji’s got a finger inside me, he brings his other hand to his chest. They each form a fist and shake them once, twice, three times before making their selection. Bennet throws down a flat hand. Paper. Benji sighs, because he’s still holding his hand in a fist. Paper might cover rock, but the tears in our boy’s eyes cover both Bennet and my faces with worry.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, cupping his cheek with the hand that was just gripping my dick. Benji inhales deeply, purring like a kitten.

“Nothing. Sorry, Daddy. Bennet won fair and square.”

“Won what?” I ask. “Guys, I need you to keep me in the loop. I might be getting better at this twin power foolishness, but I’m not exactly fluent in your many expressions. Please don’t keep secrets from me.”

Bennet’s eyes widen. “We weren’t keeping secrets, we were . . .” He closes his eyes and sighs. “We were trying to decide who you’re going to fuck first.”

It’s my turn to choke and sputter, because oh, my god, he can’t be serious. Is that where this evening is going? Am I going to fuck my sons?

My dick twitches. “You want me to fuck you?”

Bennet bites his lip and nods. “Unless you don’t want to.”

“But you’re my sons,” I say, meaning it as a playful barb, but this doesn’t feel like a joke at all. It feels true. I caress Benji’s cheek, then Bennet’s. “You want your dad to fuck you?”

“Yes, sir,” they agree. Benji pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it behind him, adding to their collection of discarded clothes. Bennet’s underwear from this morning are still on the edge of the bed, and I point at them.

“Give me those,” I order. Bennet looks over and blushes when he sees his underwear. I wink at him. “Come on, baby. Daddy doesn’t have all day.”

He grabs the briefs and holds them out for me, his hands shaking, making the underwear look like a flag being blown by a mighty gust of wind. I grab them from Bennet’s hand, and before he can react, I bring the inside of the crotch to my face and inhale deeply.

Jesus H. Christ.

I wasn’t prepared. How the hell could I ever be prepared for this? Bennet’s scent is the most beautiful scent in the world. There are hints of vanilla and spice, and maybe even a couple of stray droplets from the last time he peed while wearing them. God. I want to ask—no, command—him to never shake his dick after he pisses again, because this mixture of savory and sweet is probably the world’s best aphrodisiac. I pull the underwear back so he can watch me do what needs to be done. I have to show my son I’m into this just as much as he is. He has to know. I don’t ever want him to doubt it again. I extend my tongue and slowly—methodically—lick a long strip up the center of his briefs. His cock was pressed against this fabric for an entire day. It was hot yesterday. His balls would have rested right here the entire afternoon. Jesus. I can taste the sweat. I can smell the natural musk of an eventful day invading my senses. It has me twitching, and I scream, “Holy fucking shit,” when Benji bends down and takes my cock in his mouth for the first time. He sucks from tip to root then back again before pulling away and grinning at me.

“Language, Dad,” he scolds, then dives back down.

I don’t know how long I’m going to last. His tongue is torture in its most stunning form. Licking and lapping at my shaft, shelling around my tip, inhaling like he’s trying to suck my cum out of a straw. I grab Bennet by the back of the head and bring him down until our foreheads touch. His underwear are still against my face, but I need more. He must see it. He has to see it, because he reaches for the underwear and pulls them away.

“How long?” I ask, unable to get anything else out. Thank fuck for twin-slash-triplet magic, because he knows exactly what I’m asking. “How long were you wearing them?”

“I was a bad boy, Dad.”

A growl rattles in my throat. “Daddy’s good fucking boy.” Bennet is the best damn boy, and I won’t hear another word on the matter.

He shakes his head though. “I wore them twice in a row.” Heat settles in his cheeks, but he doesn’t let the embarrassment stop him. “Didn’t wanna go downstairs and get a new pair from the dryer, so I just wore them again.” He touches the fabric, feigning fear. I love him like this. He’s so fucking stunning when he’s playful like this. “They got real sweaty, Daddy. I know I should have told you before you smelled them and started licking on them, but I . . . I just wanted you to taste me. Don’t be mad. ’Kay?”

We both know I’m not even close to being upset with him. If anything, I want to swallow his little cock as a way to give thanks. Maybe I will. But first?—

I rise up a few inches, needing to smell him again. He’s my ambrosia, and I know that as long as I breathe him in, never pausing, never pulling them away, the world no longer exists. We’ll live forever in this steamy void. No worries. No hurt. Just the three of us.

Bennet covers my mouth and nose with the patch of fabric that’s covered his ass for two days straight. Oh, fuck. God. Bennet. He’s incredible. It’s such a natural, manly scent. Suddenly, I’m in motion holding the underwear with one hand and pulling him toward me with the other. I open my lips to kiss him, and he seems a bit confused because the briefs are still covering my mouth. He trusts me though. My Bennet always trusts me. His lips part, and we drench the fabric, the pair of us rehydrating the dried sweat from the cotton.

My hips are thrusting as Benji swallows me whole, and I’m so fucking close to popping, I almost can’t stand it. I need him to stop. “You have to stop,” I plead after prying my face from Bennet’s. “Benji, I need you to stop. I’m not ready to come yet, buddy.”

He makes an awful sound, like I just told him I ran over the family dog.

I wonder if my Bens might want a dog.

No. Focus, Nathan. Your boys need you. Hypothetical pets will have to wait.

“Come up here, sweetheart,” I coax, extending a hand to him. “Come on, babe. We miss you.”

Benji crawls up and straddles my lap. He’s got an arm around my waist, and his hips are rolling. “I’m going to come,” he says, matter-of-factly. “Don’t worry, though. I can go again. Tell him, Bennet.”

“It’s true,” Bennet says, placing a hand on his best friend’s back. “I’m pretty good at it, too, but I’m not nearly as virile as Benji. Back when we still lived at home, he came eight times in one night.” His eyes lock with Benji’s, glazing over as his breathing deepens. “It was magical.”

“It was because of you,” he says, releasing the hold he’s got on my back and pulling Bennet closer by the scruff of his nape. “I didn’t know it then, but it’s always been because of you. I promise.”

Bennet presses a hand over Benji’s heart. “Same.” He darts his eyes down at Benji’s cock—which is leaking all over my stomach—and licks his lips. “I know you want to shoot on Daddy’s chest, but, I mean, would you mind if . . .”

Benji kisses Bennet softly. “Use your words, baby.”

“You said I could suck you, remember?” he whispers. He sounds ashamed, but there’s never any shame here.

“Fuck. I’m sorry, I totally forgot.” He squeezes the back of Bennet’s neck again, their foreheads touching. “I want that. I swear, I want that so much. Please, Bennet? Please suck my dick.”

“If you’d rather?—”

He shakes his head decidedly. “I need you, Bennet. Need to finally feel you around me.” He takes Bennet’s hand and guides it between our melded chests. When Bennet brushes against Benji’s cock, he touches mine, too, and I have to bite my tongue to stifle a moan, because I don’t want to distract either of them. Not when they’re this close.

Bennet’s knuckles rub against the underside of my shaft as he begins stroking Benji. His movements are slow at first, their eyes locked as an air of nervousness permeates throughout the room. They look shy, like nervous virgins after the prom. They know where this is leading, but they’re terrified of the journey.

“That’s such a good boy, Bennet,” I mumble into his ear, ghostling my lips against him. “Daddy’s so proud of you, baby. Look at how happy you’re making Benjamin. Look at that smile.” Bennet looks up at his best friend and gasps at the sight of Benji. He’s beaming ear to ear as he stares at his friend’s hand pumping his shaft.

“You fit perfectly,” he says, sounding amazed. He looks up at Bennet and laughs incredulously. “Why the hell did we wait so long to do this?”

Bennet’s hand pumps faster, only slowing as he backs away. He climbs off the bed, but he doesn’t stop stroking Benji. Bennet leans over the side of the bed, his plump, creamy ass right there for the taking.

I want to take it.

To claim it, because it’s mine. It belongs to Benji and me, and if anyone else even thought of touching it, I’d kill them. I’ve never even punched a man, but I would rip someone limb from limb when it comes to these boys.

“Dad?” Benji asks breathlessly as Bennet wraps his lips around his cock. Benji’s back arches and he has to grip my shoulder so he doesn’t fall down. His eyes roll back in his head, the lashes fluttering like butterfly wings. “Bennet needs you. He deserves to come, too. We’ll take care of you when we’re done, I promise.” His eyes shoot open and he gives me the most serious expression I’ve ever seen. “Our boyfriend needs you.”

The words send my cock twitching, slapping his stomach, then mine. The thought of moving away from Benji seems impossible, but I know it’s what needs to be done. Benji’s right. Bennet deserves to come, and I’m going to be the one who makes him.

I stand up from the bed and walk around until I’m behind Bennet. With the way he’s bent over, his entire hole is exposed. I kneel behind him, gently squeezing his cheeks. God. How can an ass be this tight and this soft at the same time? It doesn’t make sense, but I can feel it with my own two hands, so I know it’s true. I use my hands to spread him open and a press kisses up and down each of his cheeks. His body jolts and a whine escapes him. He still hasn’t taken more than Benji’s head into his mouth, but that’s okay. Our boy will get there in the end. He needs guidance. He needs his daddy to show him the way.

“Go on, Bennet. I want you to take more of him, okay? See how far you can go.” I place my hand on the back of his head, gently guiding him down until he reaches the base. Thankfully—what with their small size—he’s not choking on anything, but he’s making all these little clicking sounds in his throat. He holds for a moment before pulling off Benji’s cock. When Bennet looks back at me, his eyes are red and glossy, and tears are falling down his cheeks. His spit is coating Benji’s cock, and he pumps up and down. Skin against skin, the sound of his slick friction is obscene. “Please?”

I squeeze his ass a little tighter. “What do you need, baby?”

He licks his sloppy lips, breathing heavily. “Will you eat me?”

My cock thickens, though I’m not sure how. It was painfully hard already. More than it’s ever been. Staring down at Bennet’s tight little hole makes it twitch. I’ve never done this with anyone, man or woman. I squeezed Lindsay’s butt through the years, but I’ve never wedged my face between her cheeks and plundered her asshole.

But, good God, Almighty, I want to do that with him.

I touch the tip of my finger to his crack, dragging it down the valley until I reach his hole. “You look so tight, Bennet,” I breathe, flicking my fingertip back and forth. Benji cries out when Bennet’s lips close around the head again, and our boy sucks him with everything he’s got. “I don’t know if you’d be able to take Daddy’s cock, buddy. I might rip you open.”

Benji leans forward and spanks Bennet’s ass, making him squeak. “You’ve never seen him in action, Dad. Bennet can ride dick like a champ. He’ll make you feel so fucking good, I promise.”

“Is that right?” I follow Benji’s lead, slapping Bennet’s ass. Bennet startles, squeaking around Benji’s cock. “You want to try, Bennet? Is that what you want?” He doesn’t answer, because how could he? He’s working Benji’s shaft so fast, it’s a wonder there’s no chaffing involved.

I lean in, licking a quick swipe up his crack. The sound he makes sends a chill down my spine; he sounds like an animal. I spread his cheeks wider and stare at it. It’s such a small entrance, and it’s a beautiful shade of pink. It pushes me past the worry of what I’m actually doing—of where I’m actually licking. The thought of teasing someone’s most intimate place shouldn’t have me leaking against his leg, but it does.

I apply pressure with my tongue, wanting to know if he can take me. I need him to be able to take me, because once I’m inside, there will be no stopping me. Ahead of me, Bennet’s making all these feral sounds. Gulps and gasps, muffled by Benji’s dick.

Benji’s breathing grows faster, probably because of the speed Bennet’s working at. Ever since I began playing with his hole, it’s like his body is working on overdrive, making up for lost time. I bring a finger into the mix, trying to slide it in to loosen him up. He’s just so damned tight, and now that I’ve got a mental image in my head of me behind him, my tongue buried as far inside as I can get it, I need it to be reality. I want to taste my guy.

“Dad. Bennet. I’m close.”

Bennet pulls away long enough to growl, “Mark me,” at Benji.

Benji nods frantically as he takes himself in his hand. Bennet pulls away from me, crawling farther onto the bed, and I have to watch as his beautiful pink pucker is hidden by his cheeks. I want to scream for him to get back here, but then I notice what he’s doing. Bennet lies on his back looking blissed out of his mind. His cock is as hard as it’s ever going to get, standing proudly. There’s a bead of pre-cum at the tip, and I lean forward, taking it for myself, because it’s another of his many flavors. Another aspect of Bennet Anderson I’ve yet to learn.

I don’t give a damn what he’s doing right now or what Benji’s doing above him. The only thing that matters is that little pink ring. It needs to be caressed. To be worshiped.

To be fucked into submission.

I grab him by the back of his thighs and push them against his chest. He’s too rocked in pleasure to hold them up, so I prop his legs on my shoulders, spreading him wide so every inch is visible.

“I love your cock, Bennet.” To prove it, I bend down, kissing the tip.

“Dad,” Benji breathes. When I look up, he’s stroking himself at a speed that doesn’t seem humanly possible. He’s so close, I can tell, and he’s got it aimed right at . . .

“Benji?” His eyes meet mine. “Come on my cock, little guy. Get me ready for him.” Benji whimpers, and I know this is doing things to him. It’s pulling out a side of him I never knew existed. His entire body is rocked with pleasure, and the faster he strokes, the more depraved he becomes. Reluctantly, I pull away from Bennet’s ass and rise to my knees. With my dick in hand, I place it right in front of his cock. “I’m going to fuck you, Bennet. Your brother’s going to get me nice and slick, and then I’m going to make you mine. Would you like that, baby?”

“Daddy,” Bennet cries out, and Benji and I watch as his dick erupts, completely untouched. I can’t let him finish without friction, so I sit on his lap and bury his cock in my crack. Rolling my hips, I have to bite back a moan at the sensation of his dick catching on my hole with each thrust. If he feels this good outside, I wonder what my boy would feel like fucking his cock into me. I would let him. I would let both of them, and I would offer it to them willingly.

“Come for me, Bennet. Come on. That’s Daddy’s good boy. I feel you against my hole. Shit, Bennet.”

“Gonna . . .” Bennet squeezes his eyes shut as another jet strikes my entrance. “Gonna fuck you one day, Daddy.”

“Fuck!” Benji moans. His dick erupts, shooting all across my cock. I know I won’t last long once I’m inside Bennet, but I don’t give a damn how long I last, as long as I get to feel him.

“Dad,” Benji cries as another shot hits my shaft. I wrap my hand around my dick and get it nice and wet for Bennet.

I aim my cock at Bennet’s hole and lock eyes with him. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yeah. More than okay with it. Need it.”

Thank God. “I’m negative. I would never put either of you at risk. I swear.”

They nod. “Us too.”

“We got tested after we left the monster,” Benji says. “It’s okay. You can fuck him, Dad. Tell him, Bennet.”

Bennet nods his agreement as he writhes against the blanket. “Please? Please fuck me. I’ve wanted it for so long.”

“Oh, buddy,” I praise, cupping his cheek and giving him my brightest smile. “How could I ever say no to you?” When I press the tip against his entrance, Bennet makes an ungodly sound that has my body feeling like static. Slowly, I drive into Bennet. He takes me so well, all the way down to the base without looking like he’s in an ounce of pain. If anything, he looks blissed out of his mind.

“You okay?” I ask.

“Fuck me. Please?”

I slowly pull out until only the head is in. I fuck back into him, but it feels like I’m fucking them both. Their eyes are on me, breaths ragged, sweat and semen coating their skin.

“So close. Don’t know how long I’ll last,” I mumble, biting my bottom lip.

“It’s okay. Come when you need to. You feel so good inside me.”

I’ve never needed to come as much as I do right now, and it’s right there. The finish line. I drive in faster—deeper—until Bennet’s a sobbing mess in my arms, crying out, “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” on an infinite loop.

“Bennet.” I wait for him to look me in the eyes before driving in as hard as I can. “Are you ready?”

He nods faster. “Daddy. Dad. Please. Nate.”

I fuck him harder, making promises I had no intention to make. Words like “I’m going to marry you one day,” fall from my lips, quickly followed up with wishes to adopt them. To make them mine permanently. Would they want that? Would they let me? We could be a real family. A beautiful fucking family. It might make me sound like a deviant and a monster, but I’m too lost in pleasure to give a fuck how deranged I sound. I pull all the way out and slam back in until my pubes touch his skin. “Oh, God. Here it comes. I’m gonna fill you up.” I take one final plunge before rearing back my head and letting out a lion’s roar.

My heart races as I fall on top of Bennet, feeling absolutely boneless.

I just fucked a man. Up until last week, I achieved a few orgasms a year. Nothing ever clicked. Nothing tickled my fancy, because these boys are where I’m meant to be. Where I was always meant to be. And we get to do it again. Again, again, again.

Dry streak? Broken. Hell yes!

Someone’s at my side, and it takes me a moment to realize it’s Benjamin. He’s rubbing my arms. Kissing my shoulder. Rutting his spent cock against my thigh. We’re all slathered in cum, but it’s not enough. How could it ever be enough?

Bennet kisses me softly on the lips, and I can’t take my eyes off him. I trace his jawline, more than a little emotional over what we’ve just shared. I came in his ass.

It starts as a trickle. A small raindrop landing on still water, creating ripples that can’t be ignored or explained away as anything other than what it is. Truth.

I give Bennet a quick kiss before pulling out of him and falling on my back. They coil around me like koala cubs, legs everywhere, arms all over. I look at my Bennet, then at my Benji, and I don’t even bother wiping the tear as it drips down my cheek. “My boys.” I close my eyes and sigh. How did I ever get so lucky? They need to know. They have to know. So, I say, “I’m in love with you, boys.”

Their jaws are shaking, and there’s a familiar clicking sound in the back of Benji’s throat, like he might start crying at any moment.

“We love you, too,” they say.

“Good.” I’m probably blushing like a giddy schoolboy, but Bennet still hasn't come, and that isn't going to fly. I place my hand on his butt and guide him forward. “Go on, Bennet. Come on my thigh. Cover me, baby.”

He’s fucking my hip with abandon, his breathing becoming more and more shallow the longer it goes on. With a final thrust, Bennet explodes, covering my skin with cum.

Tomorrow, the world we’re building may crumble to the ground, but right now? Right now, I’m going to hold my sons against me, and I’m going to make sure they know they’re loved.