4. 2
“Yeah. Come on, boys. It’s either on me or on the blanket, and I don’t feel like washing another load tonight.”
Benji cocks an eyebrow at me. “I’ve got a load for you.”
I know my cheeks must have me looking like a blushing virgin, but I can’t help it. He’s always been cheeky, but it feels different now. It probably has something to do with the fact that his erection is only inches away from me, and the head is growing redder by the second.
Removing my hand from Benji’s shoulder, I lift my shirt halfway up my chest. Their eyes lock on mine before dipping down to my stomach. Suddenly, I feel more exposed than I ever have. I know they don’t look at me sexually—a ridiculous idea, quite frankly—but I still worry they’ll see my pudgy stomach and lose their masturbatory momentum. They don’t, though. If anything, it seems to exacerbate their need for release. They’re visually feasting on me like I’m the last man on Earth.
“I’m sorry,” I tell them, pointing at my gut. “I know this ain’t the prettiest picture to look at.”
“Nate,” Benji whispers. “You look so handsome.” His voice is hushed, like he’s embarrassed by the admission. His words can’t be true, though. I’m not special at all. Just a mid-forties man with what my son refers to as a dad bod, and a hairline long-past receding. Heck, I don’t know. Maybe he’s just saying it to make me feel better. No one’s given me a second glance in years—certainly not my ex-wife—so it’s hard to believe the words he’s saying.
“You think so?” I finally ask as he picks up the pace.
“So fucking cute.”
Bennet’s nodding in agreement with Benji, and it feels like being gut-punched with the truth. Bennet’s never been one to lie in order to make someone feel better. He tells it like it is—a straight shooter. Seeing him agree that I’m attractive on some level fills me with pride.
Their hands are moving at an impossible speed, flicking pre-cum from their dicks like rain droplets. Each time another drop lands on me, there’s this funny feeling in me that I can’t place. It’s familiar, but I can’t figure out what it means.
“Good boys,” I say, lifting the tail of my shirt higher. They’re approaching release, but I’ve only got one free hand, and I want them both to feel me when they come. I want them to know I’m here, and when they’re with me, I’ve got their back, so I bring my shirt over my head and toss it behind me with no care for where it lands. The boys’ eyes open at the same time, and they stare wide-eyed at my shirtless form.
“Jesus,” Bennet says when I wrap an arm around his waist, pulling him flush against me. Benji joins the mix, moving closer until there’s little room left between us. Their hands work faster, and the slick sound of their friction fills the room.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Benji moans. Beneath his dick, his balls roll, drawing closer to his body. His cock twitches once, twice, three times before his slit widens and a tsunami of semen shoots out, landing on my stomach.
“That’s it, little man. Good boy, Benjamin! That’s such a good boy.” Each strike feels like fire, warm and overpowering like a flaming arrow. Through it all, as his best friend showers me in his load, Bennet’s eyes never leave mine. He hobbles an inch closer before letting go of his cock and wrapping his arms around my back.
“Nate,” he whines into my neck. “Please? Please, Nate. Can I?”
I have no idea what he’s asking, but whatever the heck it is, I want him to have it more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Wrapping an arm around his back, I pull him as close as I can get him.
“Whatever you want—yes. Yes, Bennet. Just do it, baby. I’ve got you. I’ve got you, and I’m not letting go.”
He lets out a high-pitched cry, and then he crushes me with his arms, thrusting his hips endlessly. It takes me a moment to realize what’s happening. As he whimpers and sobs into my neck, he drives his cock into my hip. Repeatedly, then I feel warmth.
He’s coming. Bennet is shooting his load all over my side. Jesus Christ. I can feel his cock twitch each time another shot leaves him. He’s coming on me. His hips are rocking back, fucking his wet, sloppy cock against me. I drag my nails down his back, wanting to make this even better for him, because after everything he’s gone through, he deserves this.
He’ll probably be embarrassed in a moment, but that moment’s not here. Until he pulls away looking humiliated, I’m going to hold on to him, and I’m going to tell him how special he is. My hand cups his ass—an action that barely registers with either of us—and I rock him forward, guiding him along to the rhythm he’s created. “There you go, buddy,” I murmur into his ear. “That’s my boy.”
Bennet’s breathing is erratic, and it takes a moment for him to calm down. When he does, he pulls away, his face redder than I’ve ever seen it. His mouth hangs open and he’s slowly shaking his head in disbelief. “No. No, no, no.” Scurrying back, he escapes my grip, and my arms feel cold without him. We’ve just shared such a special moment, I don’t want him to be upset. I want him to ride it out. To revel in his afterglow.
“It’s okay,” I say, wanting to soothe him, but that just makes things worse. He backs away like he’s going to hop out of my bed and run back to his bedroom, but I don’t want that. “Bennet, baby, it’s fine.”
He’s got one leg over the side of the bed as my words tumble out, but he stops all movement once they’re out there, his eyes locked on mine like he’s searching for answers in them.
“I promise,” I insist, holding my hand for him to take. “It’s okay. This is a safe space, buddy. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
He looks unsure, but he must be sure enough to take the risk, because within seconds, he’s at my side again, staring down at the puddle he left on my stomach. “I’m really sorry, Nate. I don’t know what got into me.”
I tug his chin up until our eyes meet. “You were close to release, and your body craved contact. It’s not a big deal to me, so I don’t want it to be a big deal for you, either. Understood?” I’m trying to give him my sternest dad-glare, and I guess it’s working, because he quickly nods in agreement. Wanting to relieve some of the awkward tension still hanging in the air, I wriggle my eyebrows at them. “I should feel flattered, really.” I clap my hand against my hip and jiggle the small spare tire hanging around my midsection. “You’ve got grade-A beef beside you, and decided to mark me instead. It’s nice to know there’s still life in these fat old bones.”
If it’s relief I’m hoping for, I realize it’s not coming anytime soon, because both their jaws practically hit the floor.
“You can’t be serious,” Benji says.
“Is that really what you think of yourself?” Bennet adds, but all I can do is shrug. It’s not that I believe I’m a monstrosity to behold or anything, but I’m hardly the pick of the litter. “Oh, Nate.” Bennet’s voice is filled with the same level of affection I’ve been giving him since he rutted against me to completion. Bennet presses his hand over mine where it’s resting on my hip. His fingertips dance lightly around my hand, occasionally spilling over and touching my love handle. “You’re not old bones. You’re beautiful.”
It feels like my heart might leap out of my chest. “You think so?”
He nods emphatically. “Nate, you’re perfect.” Pressing a hand to my stomach, his eyes are wide, locked on his cooling load slathered on my hip.
It’s Benji’s turn to assure me, and he wastes no time, leaning closer, cupping my cheek. “There’s someone out there who will love those bones, no matter how old they are.” His thumb brushes against my eyebrow, traveling back and forth over the length. “Maybe someone already does.”
His words are perfect and beautiful and horrible all at once. What on earth could I have done to earn this level of affection? The way these boys treat me, you’d think I was a deity.
“Maybe,” I agree. “Or maybe not. Thank you for saying it, though. It means something to me.” Everything. It means everything to me.
They cuddle closer, each resting a head on my shoulder. As I stare down at them, wrapped around me like candy wrappers, I find my grip tightening. These boys are everything. They’re all I have left, and I’ll protect them for as long as I’m needed.
“I’m really tired,” Bennet says. “Nate, would it—I mean, would you mind if . . .” He squeezes his eyes shut, mouthing, ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid,’ to himself. I’m not sure what that’s about, but he’s able to compose himself long enough to ask, “Can we stay with you tonight?”
“You want to sleep in my bed?” I ask, wanting to clarify. When they offer me a shy, collective smile, I’ve got my answer. “All right, then. Yeah. Of course you can stay.” I move to stand so I can go clean myself off, but Benji’s hand wraps around my wrist, locking me in place. His eyes drop down to the cum that’s covering my chest, and his tongue darts out, licking his lips.
“Will you wear us to bed?”
I clear my throat and look away, nodding.
Much to my surprise, they both gasp, excitement clear on their faces. “You really will?” Bennet asks. Their excitement has me feeling light as air. It’s such a bizarre request, but I love how genuinely thrilled they seem at the prospect of me wearing their loads like lotion. Feeling a little playful myself, I drag my finger through one of the puddles Benji left on my hip. I reach for Bennet’s face, tapping the tip of his nose, leaving him with his best friend’s cum sliding down his skin. Bennet stares at me with wide eyes, and then his smile spreads even wider.
“Nasty! I’m gonna get you back, Nate,” he teases. He reaches across the bed to grab a pillow, and when he does, my eyes are given free rein over his backside.
Goodness. Okay, yeah. That’s certainly a pretty sight. It’s so different from my ex-wife’s. While hers was soft like satin, Bennet’s is high and tight. Two twin-size humps poking out at the perfect angle. The further he leans, the wider his cheeks spread until I’m left with the sight of a perfectly hairless pucker. It’s as pink in hue as Bennet’s lips. Now that I’ve seen his entrance, I’m not sure he has any business bottoming. It just looks so damned tight. There’s no way a man’s penis would fit in there. Worry hits when I picture some other man carelessly handling this precious cargo. Aiming their big, knobby cocks in his direction and driving in with their full force.
He would cry. My Bennet would scream and kick and crawl just to get away from the invading force. The mental image alone is enough to make me want to lock my bedroom door and refuse to let him leave.
I don’t know how long I’ve been staring, but it’s long enough for him to notice. He clears his throat, and when I look up at him, he rises from his kneeling position, holding one of my pillows.
“Are you okay?” he asks, dropping the pillow and pressing his palm against my forehead. “You’re white as a ghost.”
I swallow, but I don’t succeed in swallowing down this strange new sensation. I can’t describe it, I can only experience it by letting it run its course. It’s a feeling I’ve never felt before. Raw. Guttural. An instinctual urge to protect what’s mine.
“I’m fine.” And when his expression softens, those words are truer than they’ve ever been. Right here, in this room, with these boys, I’m fine. I’m at peace. “Let’s get some rest.”
Bennet moves, taking the left side of the bed as his own. “I was going to bash your skull in with your pillow for wiping cum on me, but it can wait until tomorrow,” he says with an exaggerated grin. “Gonna knock your socks off, just you wait.”
I snicker, taking my spot on the right side of the bed. Benji weasels his way in between us, and I try to turn my back to them so I don’t get their combined cumshots all over Benji’s chest. Benji’s got other plans, it would seem. As soon as I’m on my side, he whirls me around, the corner of his lip curled.
“I want you like this,” he says. “If you don’t mind.”
“I might get you dirty, buddy. You covered me in cum earlier.”
As if trying to prove a point, Benji wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest, squirming to spread their shared seed across his skin. “See? Nothing to worry about. Now, cuddle me. I haven’t gotten to be the middle-man since . . .” He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Not since the monster. I’ve missed it.”
The mere mention of Benito brings back all those terrible thoughts from earlier. My inner-protector surges, ready to wage war on anyone who touches these boys. Benji must see it, because his hand finds mine and he gives it a squeeze.
“I’m okay now, though. We both are.”
Bennet brings his lips to Benji’s shoulder, pressing a kiss against his bare skin. “He’s right. We’re okay now. Better than we’ve been in months.”
Benji’s got his hand on top of Bennet’s, holding it in place, right over his heart. He cuddles even closer to me, laying his head against my chest, his cum still sticky on my side. He’s staring at my chest like it’s a touchstone, and, wanting to be that for him, I take his hand and guide it to my neck, brushing my thumb against his knuckles.
“I’m proud of you, boys,” I whisper, reaching over Benji so I can place a hand on Bennet’s arm. It’s an action that pulls Benji even closer to me, and I worry it’s going to be uncomfortable, but that worry vanishes when he puckers his lips and kisses my chest. I squeeze Bennet’s arm. “I’m so proud of you, buddy. Letting yourself go, just now. Watching you come alive. It was beautiful, Bennet. Thank you for sharing that with me.”
Though the appreciation in his eyes is overwhelming, he looks like he might fall asleep at any moment. He looks down at my hand, and for a moment, I worry he might smack it away and tell me to leave him alone, but he doesn’t. He just lies there like a touch-starved kitten, leaning into the affection. “Thank you for helping us.”
I flash my kindest smile. “I’d do anything for you. For both of you.” I turn my attention to Benji, stroking his cheek. “My sweet boys.”
We’re quiet for a while, none of us speaking. The only sound in the room is coming from my oscillating tower fan and our heavy breathing. My eyes drift from Bennet to Benji then back again, repeating the cycle until I’m a dizzy mess of a man.
“I never really had a dad, you know,” Benji whispers, unwilling to look me in the eye.
“You didn’t?”
He shakes his head, combing his fingers through my chest hair. “Not a real one. Mine kicked me out when I was just a kid, so he doesn’t count. After that I didn’t have anybody but Bennet and his mom. Then his mom died, and all we had was each other.” His eyes meet mine, and there’s a heat in them that leaves me speechless. “You’re a good dad. To Tatum. To us.”
“You are,” Bennet agrees.
“I wish you were my real dad,” Benji says, and to my horror, the words have a strange stiffening effect on my penis. What in the world is wrong with me? I’ve gone without erections for months, and my traitorous penis waits until I’ve got my surrogate sons in bed with me to rear its horny head? Dang. I just hope Benji doesn’t notice. The last thing I want is to make him uncomfortable.
I don’t know why my erection has chosen this exact moment to stage its comeback extravaganza, but I’m not amused. Mainly because with Bennet and Benji beside me, I can’t greet it like an old friend and give it a shake. I haven’t masturbated in months. As much as I want to rush out of bed and into the bathroom before I lose momentum, I resist. My boys need me now. If it means another eight months without ejaculation, so be it.
“You do?” I finally ask.
Benji nods. “I’ve been trying to think of why your name never sounds right in my head.” He gives me a sleepy smile. “I think I just figured it out.”
I wait for him to elaborate, but he just lies there, staring dreamily. “Care to fill me in?” I ask.
He glances over his shoulder, waging a silent war with Bennet before Bennet finally sighs and nods. When Benji looks back at me, he’s got the widest smile I’ve ever seen. “I think it’s because you feel more like a father than a friend. I don’t want to call you Nate anymore because that’s not who you feel like to me.” Benji sniffs, and I can tell he wants to look away, but he’s trying to fight the urge. He’s trying so damn hard. He knows I want his eyes on me, so he’s pushing past his worry to keep me happy. With my Bens, I see so much of my former life in them. Carefully guiding them, the way I’ve always done with Tatum. Earning their trust, and hopefully, one day, their unconditional love. God knows I could use some of that love right now.
“If I’m not Nate, then who am I to you, sweetheart?”
He looks at Bennet before staring back at my chest. He’s clearly struggling with something, and it’s eating me up inside to see him so worried. Wanting to make things easier on Benji, I lean in and playfully nibble the tip of his nose. Pulling back, I mime like I’m chewing, holding the imaginary contents in my mouth. Benji’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open.
“Did you just get my nose?” he asks. I chew again, making a crunching sound as I do. “Give it back!” He almost looks like he’s serious. He’s feigning worry so well, I almost believe him. Benji pinches my nostrils shut, and when I open my mouth to take a breath, his fingers spring into my mouth, touching my tongue. His skin is sweet like vanilla and cotton candy, and instinctively, I shell my tongue around the foreign object in my mouth. Benji whimpers at the connection, pulling me back to reality. He must feel the shift, too, because he quickly pulls away from me, pretending to reattach his gnawed-off nose. Once he’s got it secured, he leans in and kisses my cheek, finally answering my question when he says, “My dad. That’s who you feel like to me.” Tears well in his eyes. “Can I call you Dad?”
My heart stalls in my chest. My God. This sweet, sensitive guy. He’s done so much for me already. He breathes life back into me, and I never want to lose the feeling. I don’t want to end up in another twenty-year marriage that’s more transactional than traditional. I want to hold on to this moment. To let it marinate me from the inside out. Even if I wanted to tell him no, how can I deny him such a simple request?
“I’d be proud to be your dad, Benjamin.” I kiss each of his eyelids, then the tip of his nose. Behind him, Bennet’s staring at me with an expression I can’t read. I want him included in this. If he wants to call me Dad, he can. I think I’d like that more than I’ve ever liked anything. “What about you, buddy? Are you sticking with ‘Nate’?”
He bites his bottom lip and studies me for a beat before snaking his arm around Benji’s waist and holding him close. “Is it okay if I don’t know yet?”
To answer, I give him my warmest smile before bringing my thumb to my lips and planting a kiss on the tip. I press the tip of my thumb against the corner of his mouth, happy to see his nervous expression fade, leaving me with the bright Sunshine Bear side of him. He looks more at peace than I’ve ever seen him, and knowing I’m the cause of that happiness—even if only partially—makes me proud. I want to see him smile more often. I need it to stay there as his default setting, because that smile is too dang beautiful to hide from the world.
“I love you, boys,” I say, kissing Benji’s forehead, then Bennet’s. “Thank you for sharing this with me tonight. I’m honored that you’d trust me with something this important.”
“Will you keep helping us?” Bennet asks, catching me off guard.
“What do you mean?”
“This is all new for us, and I think we’re both still nervous about exploring. You made it easy for us.”
I open my mouth to tell them it’s a ridiculous plan, but Bennet cuts me off. “I mean, we could always just go find some stranger to show us the ropes, but they won’t be gentle like you. They might take advantage of us.” He pouts, his bottom lip jutting out. “You don’t want that to happen, do you?”
The mental image of my Bennet’s small, delicate hole flashes through my mind, and I find myself clenching my fists through no action of my own. No one is going to hurt them. There will be no demolished holes or anal prolapses in their future. Not while they’re living under my roof. They’ll abide by my rules, even if I’m simply making them up on the go.
“You can’t, actually,” I say.
Bennet raises an eyebrow. “Can’t what?”
“Find someone else to help. I’ll help you both as best I can, but I don’t want either of you looking for outside sources. Understood?”
Benji looks over his shoulder at Bennet with a wide, bright smile. “Told you so.”
“Told him what?” I ask, but Benji just giggles and buries his face in my chest. As he snuggles even closer to me, Bennet peeks his head up long enough to kiss the side of his best friend’s face. He stares at me, neither of us moving, both of us barely breathing, though for the life of me, I don’t understand why this gaze feels so special. It’s like he’s looking straight into my soul, and unlike those already acquainted with the parts of me I tend to keep hidden, he doesn’t hate the view. He glances down at Benji one more time before quickly leaning over him and kissing me on the cheek. When he pulls away, his cheeks are red with embarrassment, but my smile seems to put him at ease.
Below, Benji smiles at me through sleepy eyes. Once they’re closed, he exhales contentedly, before whispering, “Night-night, Dad.”
“Good night, boys.”