17. Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
W alking into the theatre room, I’m immediately enchanted. A bar takes up the back corner of the room. Shelves are lined with every confectionery item I could possibly imagine is well stocked. The fact that this house has a theatre room to begin with isn’t surprising whatsoever, but walking into the room was like stepping into a whole other world. I guess it kind of is in a way.
Even though my father is well off, he isn’t on this level. Something that I know that he would absolutely despise. I don’t delve into thoughts of him any further, pushing him back into the recesses of my mind. I refuse to give him another moment more of my attention, not until I need to focus on the issue that is him.
The couches in the theatre resemble that of a cloud. I run, jumping and all but melting into the cushions.
The guys laugh at me as I pop up again. They bring over some of the spare blankets they bought for me yesterday. I can’t help but set up a mini nest right here in the middle of the couch. By the look on their faces, that's exactly what they intended for me to do. Once I am done. I sit in the middle of the nest and wait patiently. Jax, Ledger and Theo stand side by side as they look at me with an adoration that melts a part of my soul.
“Are you going to come in?” I ask them, my voice just above a whisper. Ledger smiles, not needing to be told twice. He crawls in before tackling me into the sheets. “Thank you for inviting me into your nest, Little Omega.”
“Always, my Alpha.”
Ledger growls, “Do you mean that?”
The look on his face shows a vulnerability I didn’t expect to see on his face. It's almost like he is terrified of being hurt again. It makes me wonder what has happened to him in the past for him to react that way.
A part of me hurts for him knowing that he has felt pain in his past. Maybe he is more like me than I realized.
I make a vow to my Alphas similar to the one they have made to me. I refuse to allow them to feel pain now that they are with me. I want them to be happy. To feel the love that they deserve.
I already know it's going to be easy to fulfill that vow to them. It's ridiculously early but I can feel my heart softening towards them.
In our world, relationships move fast. For some, it may seem quick but when you meet someone, especially if that someone is your scent match, you skip a couple of steps. Not that I am complaining. Not one bit.
I want to get to know my Alphas. To fall in love.
It was the one thing that my mother promised me before she left.
She wanted me to find a love that I deserved. It's the only reason why I held onto hope for as long as I did. Without her words, I know I would have given up a long time ago. But lying here with Ledger's body half on my own as he gazes so intently at me, I’m so glad I didn’t.
There was hope after all.
I unwrap my arms from where they were wrapped around Ledger's body and instead snaking them up his body until my hands are on either side of his face. “Of course I mean it. You are my Alpha. I want you.”
His entire body shivers against mine.
“God, you are perfect.”
He leans down and captures my lips in his. The touch is soft to start off with. His lips gently move against mine in a rhythm that sends arousal shooting down to my core. He pulls away from me before we can get too carried away. I go to follow after him but he just chuckles at me.
“As much as it pains me to pull away from you, we will be resuming this later.” I nod quickly, unable to not show just how eager I am.
Ledger flips us over and rearranges us so I am half lying on his chest. I feel a body scooch up beside me. Turning my head, I find Theo smiling down on me as he moves back into position. He curls his body around mine, his form moulding to mine like we were made for each other. I mean, we kind of are, I guess.
The couch dips on the other side of us. Just like Theo, Jax curls up to Ledger so he can have his hands on both of us.
The moment his skin touches mine, it feels as though all of my worries instantly melt away. It's almost as though the past few hours never happened.
I feel my soul settle for the first time in my life. Each of my Alpha’s bodies relax just like mine and I know their souls have quieted as well .
We spend the rest of the day watching movies and stuffing our faces with candy. It’s been years since I have tasted the sweetness of chocolate. My father refused to let me have any. His diet for me was strict. The moan I let out in response to my first bite was euphoric.
My groan set off my Alphas who were unable to hold their own back. The tension definitely escalated in the room at that point but we all brushed it aside as best as we could. We all seemed to know that this moment wasn’t about the touch our bodies crave, as much as each of us screamed for the touch.
We all collectively just wanted to spend time together as a new pack. Getting to learn about one another all together without the pressure of sex.
Even though today didn’t start off the best, it certainly ended better.
Theo got up and made dinner for us. I don’t think I have ever had a better spaghetti bolognese. Even though it was a simple meal, it was delicious. Yet again, I was unable to hold my groan in as I took my first bite.
It was surprising though to see the blush on Theo’s face as I praised him after going for seconds.
After dinner we went back into the movie room to watch another movie. I sat there for as long as I could snuggled up into Theo’s chest. It shouldn’t have surprised me that it wasn’t long before sleep eventually pulled me under.
Jostling of my body slowly begins to pull me out of sleep. I mumble something unintelligible both to whoever is moving me and myself.
“Shh, go back to sleep, my love,” the familiar voice whispers in my ear. “Alpha,” I mumble against the hard chest my face is now pressed up against. The chest underneath me vibrates as they begin to purr, a sound that lulls me back to sleep.
The next time I become aware of my surroundings, I feel the cool touch of bed sheets as they are pulled up my body and the noticeable absence of the warm body that had carried me in here.
I reach a hand out, grabbing onto the arm of whoever put me in here.
“Stay, please. I want you all to stay,” I murmur through the sleep that threatens to consume me again.
“A..are you sure, Omega?” A familiar voice says, this one sounding just a little bit further away.
“Yes. Don’t leave me.”
The body of the Alpha I am holding moves towards me, allowing me to drop my hand away from them. They move in behind me, pulling me into their body. I feel the bed dip beside me as the rest of my Alpha’s move in next to me.
“Never, Angel. I will never leave you. You are stuck with us for life.”
I settle into the hard chest in front of me, feeling whole again and allow myself to drift back to sleep.
An immeasurable amount of heat is the first thing that greets me as reality starts to filter in after one of the best sleeps of my life. Which isn’t really saying much considering for a good portion of my life I only had a lumpy twin mattress that was really no better than a cot I ended up with. It’s near impossible to get a good sleep especially when your sheets are threadbare and you are shivering all night due to the lack of heating in your room. I don’t even want to think about how uncomfortable the nights were during summer with not even a window to crack open.
It was just another way that my father was able to ensure my discomfort. It was subtle but an effective method of torture. You don’t realize just how precious sleep is until it is denied.
I go to rub the sleep from my eyes but pause as my hand trails over a hard, naked chest. I hesitate, opening my eyes only to be greeted with a sleeping Theo. My head rests back comfortably on his chest as I watch it rise and fall of his breathing. He looks completely and utterly blissed as he snores quietly.
His hair is messy but he still looks just as handsome as he does when it is styled even though I’m certain he hardly pulls a brush through the blonde locks. It gives me a bit more time to take him in completely without the pressure or embarrassment of him seeing me ogling him.
Even though Jax and Theo are brothers, they couldn’t be any more different from each other.
While Jax and Ledger are all hard edges, Theo is softer.
Although it isn’t in a way I know some men would be butt hurt at what is absolutely a compliment. I love the softness of Theo. It's ultimately what made it easier for me to actually speak to him that first day we met. He has the kind of personality that makes him approachable. That, instead of setting people on edge like I’m sure both Ledger and Jax have the tendency to do, Theo has this strange ability of making people feel comfortable .
His features insist that he would be a typical fuck boy Alpha. The kind that knows what he has and will gladly use it to his advantage. Yet, I’ve not got that kind of vibe from him. He seems much more earnest than I think people give him credit for.
I trail my eyes over his smooth blemish free skin, cursing his perfect genes but also reveling in them. It's impossible for my mind not to wonder what our babies will one day look like.
Will they have Theo’s soft blonde hair or my darker auburn locks? Will they have freckles like I do or will their skin be clear and smooth like Theo’s?
I shake my head trying to rid my brain of that particular train of thought. Getting lost down the road of babies is dangerous territory.
I wouldn’t be the youngest Omega to have jumped straight into having babies once meeting their mates. I’m sure half of the mated Omegas my age that have experienced heats have without a doubt already been impregnated if not already with children under foot. I’ve seen at least one of two formed packs utilising the care facilities at Ridgeview. I mean that is the point of heats after all, isn’t it?
For the Alphas to give the Omega as much cum as they possibly can to ensure that she falls pregnant.
My breath halts in my chest for a moment.
Heats? Fuck!
I have been an Omega for well over seven years now. Not once have I had a heat. I know that I presented incredibly early compared to others of my designation but that can’t be right can it? I should have had a heat within the first month with or without Alphas. I know that there are heat clinics specifically for Omegas to help them without the pressure of having to find a pack .
Why has it never occurred to me that maybe something was wrong? Panic begins to flood my system as I start to think the worst. Am I really that broken? I just thought that it was my brain and parts of my body, not my entirety. What if this means that I will never be able to have children? That I will never be able to hold my own child that I have made with one of my Alphas?
What if they find out that I can’t give them children and they leave me? I start to break out in a full body sweat as I start thinking the worst.
Why is it when I begin to feel the tiniest bit of happiness something else dampens it? “Kennedy? Kennedy? What's wrong?”
I gasp as a bleary eyed Jax pops into my line of sight. His hands come up to hold my face, “What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare? I can feel your panic and pain through the bond.”
I whimper at Jax’s words, the thought of my feelings travelling through our bond to hurt him is unthinkable.
In the matter of a second, both Theo and Ledger are coming up beside Jax, both of their faces laced with concern.
“I don’t… I…” I stutter, struggling to find the words to explain the sudden alarm. “Take a breath for me, Angel and try again. It's okay, we are right here. We’ve got you,” Jax murmurs, his words calming me down enough to follow his instructions. I nod my head after I have taken a few breaths and nod indicating that I want to move. My Alphas move away from me, giving me enough room to sit up and bring my legs up to my chest so I am able to curl around them.
“We haven’t really had much or a chance to go into much detail about our pasts as everything has been crazy. Just know that I never planned on hiding this from you guys, it just didn’t have a chance to come up in conversation yet.”
Ledger arches a brow, “What do you mean, Little Omega? You are making me worried.”
I sigh deeply, closing my eyes for a moment and braving myself. “The day of my sixteenth birthday, we were out in the garden. My father was holding one of his usual lunches. It was just a way for him to climb the ranks. He has been thirsty for power my entire life. The abuse wasn’t as bad back then. While he has never been shy at hurling explicits, it was never physical. Not until I perfumed for the first time in a party full of unmated Alphas.”
The entire room is silent. I keep my gaze locked at a piece of fluff on the blanket, not game enough to look up at them. The thought of seeing disgust on their face is too much. Yet I already know that it is a possibility, so I continue anyway.
“Thankfully, one of my father’s maids was able to get me out of there before I incited a riot. My father was furious. Called me a filthy slut for trying to whore myself out to Alphas without his approval,” A lone tear rolls down my cheek, “It was the first day he hit me.” Each of the men growl but I still can’t will myself to look up at them.
“From that day on, my father locked me away in one of the rooms in the attic. Any other privileges that I had before were completely gone. Not only was I isolated even more than he already had ensured, it became worse than a jail cell. If I displeased him in any way, he would make me pay. Some days he would just take his anger out on me just because I was in his vicinity.” I scoff, shaking my head, "Maybe that's why I’m so broken.”
“You are not broken, Kennedy,” Ledger growls, his voice sounding almost otherworldly. My head snaps up to his to see a mixture of anger and despair on his face. It shocks me. I thought he would be disgusted in me to know I presented so young and in such a horrific way.
I look at both Jax and Theo who also have similar expressions on their faces. “What? I don’t understand.”
“Kennedy, it’s not your fault that you presented the way that you did. You do understand that right?” Theo says, but I just shake my head. Of course it was my fault. I couldn’t control myself. Just like my father said.
“You can’t help when and where you present. Our mother apparently presented in the middle of a grocery store. She was just lucky that our Dads happened to be there at the same time.” Jax smiles, but there is a hint of sadness behind it that doesn’t quite make sense. I make note to ask him about it later.
“I feel like there is more to this than just you presenting early,” Ledger says gently. It doesn’t surprise me that it was him that caught that.
I wince but nod confirming his thoughts. Anxiety clenches my stomach, making me feel queasy but I push past it knowing they are going to find out one way or another. “I still haven’t had a heat. I might not be able to give you children.”
My voice breaks on the last word. It's as though a damn breaks inside of me as pain that I have kept blocked out overcomes me. Bodies surround every side of me. Hands touch me, rubbing my back, arms and legs. Voices murmur assurances and loving words to me but none of it registers .
I kick myself for breaking down into a crying mess, yet again. It feels like it's all that I have done since meeting these three Alphas.
Is it just the fact that I am a sook? Or is it the fact that for the first time I feel safe enough to be able to process these feelings once and for all?
I hate crying. Especially like this. It makes me feel weak. Even more so that every time I shed a tear in the past, I was beaten until they eventually just stopped coming one day. After what could either be minutes or hours, I wipe the last of my tears away. I look up, finding Jax, Theo and Ledger looking down at me broken.
“You aren’t broken, my precious Omega.”
I scoff, wiping snot and tears on the blanket. It's disgusting but it's better than letting it drip down my face. I remind myself to make sure I change the sheets before we get back in here later tonight.
“Admittedly, I don’t know all that much about Omega’s heats,” Theo pipes up, “but if you are this worried about it, we will take you to a doctor today to get them to check it out, okay?” I nod, biting my lip.
“Once the tests come back, we will go from there. If they determine that you can’t have children, that's okay. We can adopt. We have time, sweet girl.”
I nod again, feeling some of my stress dissipate. I know it won’t completely go away until after we receive results but at least it's a step in the right direction, I guess. “It breaks my heart to think that you are already so worried about making a family with us, Omega.”
I shrug my shoulders, feeling slightly embarrassed as I duck my head back down to look at the sheets half covering my body. I knew it was too soon to be thinking like that. I knew I just got ahead of myself .
Theo grunts and before I know it, he is dragging me into his lap.
“It also makes me so fucking thankful to know that you are wanting to one day have a family with us too, love. The idea of your belly being heavy and rounded, filled with our pups is like a dream come true.”
My eyes blow wide but at the quirk of Theo’s eyebrow, I know he isn’t done yet. “Having a family with you isn’t the only thing I want out of this though, Kennedy.”
“It's not?”
I don’t quite believe him if I am honest. I have overheard too many conversations between Alphas that have only wanted an Omega for what they can give them. That being a warm hole to slide into at the end of the day and for them to produce an heir. For them, it was like having an Omega is just a show of power. It was something that I had just come to accept when dreaming of what it would be like finding my pack. I mean it wouldn’t be all that bad, could it?
“No, Kennedy. I want you because you have such a beautiful soul. I can see it inside of you and have since the first moment I laid eyes on you. You have this fire about you even though you are so gentle. It’s something I am desperate to see more of. I want to love you. I want to make you happy. It’s not about what you can give me at all. I want to give everything I could possibly have to offer to you and more.”
My eyes widen at his words. A ping shoots through my chest. Something I know I shouldn’t hold so close to my chest but it's impossible not to.
I want it. I want everything he just said. More than I even want my next breath, which comes in slightly rasped.
“Really?”
He nods, a smile turning the corners of his lips, “Of course. That’s all I have wanted to do for days now. It's consuming my every waking thought.”
He chuckles, his soft smile turning cheeky for a moment, “I mean, it also wouldn’t hurt to see my mark on your neck either seeing how Jax got the jump on me.”
Said Alpha growls, leaning over to wack Theo on the arm, “It’s not my fault.” Theo just rolls his eyes with a laugh. It's obvious that he isn’t upset which is a relief. I know some of the ‘lead Alphas’ can become upset when any of the other Alphas mark their Omegas first. I’m thankful that Theo just isn’t like that. He is comfortable in his Alpha-inity.