Knot So Broken: A Dark Mafia Omegaverse

18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

T he moment I tell the guys that I want to go to the doctors to get checked out, they immediately get up and begin rushing to get ready. Theo is already on the phone to a clinic, booking me an appointment. I sit in silence as I watch each of them rushing around the room to get ready.

It hasn’t yet sunk in that these Alphas actually want me in their lives and not just for their own sick satisfaction. I never thought I would ever get that. It was never even in my list of possibilities. Of course I wanted a pack for my own but having it like this feels like something that dreams are made of.

They want me. Me and all of my fractured parts even though they have said that they don’t see me that way. It warms my heart but also terrifies me at the same time. I don’t want any of this to just be taken away from me. It kind of feels like it is too good to be true. That if I am to let my guard down, my heart will just get broken. That's the one thing that I don’t think I could survive. To be given hope only for it to be torn away from me .

Yet, here I am, letting the three Alphas in, even at the risk of my own detriment.

Ledger pauses halfway through collecting his jeans and tee he must have discarded before hopping into bed with me last night. Through all my panic, I didn’t even realize they were all only in boxers. It sends a ping disappointment through me that I didn’t get to enjoy what they were offering as I take in the broad expanse of his chest.

“Are you going to come get ready?” he asks, quirking his eyebrow. There is a hint of a smile on his lips that peeks through the stubble on his chin; I know that I was caught ogling his chiselled chest. I mean how could I not? It was right there for my viewing. He reaches a hand up for me to take.

Putting my hand in his, I discard my wandering thoughts as I let him lead me to my bedroom where he leaves me with a sweet kiss on the cheek and tells me to make sure that I am ready in twenty minutes.

I rush into the room, throwing the clothes that I am still wearing from yesterday into the hamper. In a way, I wish my Alphas had taken me out of my jeans and at least left me in a tee but I am also thankful that they didn’t; I’m sure not wanting to make me feel uncomfortable if I was to wake up with clothes missing.

Standing under the rainfall shower head, I take a moment to let the water rush over my head in the hopes that it will continue to help me calm myself. Jax, Theo and Ledger's words were all reassuring but I can still feel a spark of anxiety in my chest that just won’t budge. It still hasn't, no matter how many times they have tried to set my mind at ease.

I grab the shampoo and conditioner that has been left in my shower. The contents smell delicious and I know the sweet smell is going to compliment my natural Omega scent, giving it bit more of a sweeter edge to the musk.

Turning off the shower, I quickly dry myself with the cozy towels provided. I can’t stop myself from snuggling into them. I’ve never been granted something so fluffy to dry myself off with.

Walking into the walk in wardrobe, I instantly feel overwhelmed at all of the choices I have. I knew we got a lot the other day but I didn’t think there was this much. The guys thought of everything, right down to scandalous pieces of lace that have me blushing just looking at them in the drawer. I find a simple black sundress and grab myself a set of matching black bra and panties.

Once I am dressed, I stand in the bathroom mirror debating on what to do with my hair and makeup. I eventually decide on blow-drying my hair and leaving it natural. I do the same with my makeup, only applying mascara and some lip gloss.

As I walk back into my bedroom, I find Jax waiting for me. Without any kind of subtlety, he looks me up and down, taking in my outfit. His dark eyes heat as they return to mine.

“Fucking perfection.”

His voice is no higher than a whisper but it didn’t have to be. I heard him loud and clear, the words sending butterflies through my stomach nonetheless.

In an attempt to hide my blush from him, I rush back over towards the wardrobe and grab a pair of converse.

Walking back over to where Jax is standing against my bed, I sit down on the end. What

I don’t expect Jax to take the shoes from me and kneel on the ground. Grabbing my foot, he places a gentle kiss on the top of it before gently sliding it into the shoe. I don’t say a word as I watch him tie the laces before repeating the steps on the other foot, kiss included.

He remains kneeling in front of me once he is done. His hands slowly begin to rub up and down my legs as he looks up at me.

It’s strange to see such a large man on his knees like this doing such a menial task for his Omega.

“Are you ready?”

His voice is still gentle which helps put me at ease. Something I know I need desperately right now.

I nod as I let go of a breath, “I think so. I think I just need to know. To put myself out of my misery once and for all.”

Jax gives me a stern look which shocks me.

“You understand that it doesn’t matter to us what the results come back as today right? Each of us just wants you to be healthy. As long as that's what those results say, we are content with everything else.”

I nod but I still don’t feel satisfied. I know that they don’t care but I do. I want to provide them with children that are their own. Even though I have no doubt that each of us would absolutely love a child if we were to adopt, a part of me still feels like it is a failure if I can’t provide that for them.

He must see the war inside my head and know that no matter what he says, he won't be able to change my mind.

“Come on, Angel, let's go get some answers.”

We pull up in front of a townhouse in a quiet suburb near the centre of Vadena. I watch as a pack plays with their children out the front of their house. Another elderly couple sits out on their porch, taking in the neighbourhood.

The last thing I would expect to find here is a doctor's office. Theo, Jax and Ledger were pretty cagey about why we were going to this particular doctor but I decided just to trust them, and hope that they won’t lead me astray.

We all get out of the car and as a group walk up to the front door. Theo knocks a few times, surprising me when a man not that much older than us opens the door.

“Theo! Hey man, how are you!” He turns his head and sees Jax and Ledger. He greets them as well with a bro-hug and smiling face. Turning towards me, his eyes blow wide as he looks at my three Alphas, a cocky look on his face.

“So, you guys are finally tied down then. Took you long enough.”

He reaches out a hand towards me that I hesitantly shake, “You must be, Kennedy. I’m Doctor Young but you can just call me Maddox.”

I feel Jax, Ledger and Theo all tense around me as Maddox touches me. He must sense the tension and quickly lets go of my hand.

“Alright, come on in so we can get started.”

Maddox leads us towards a room in the back of the house. Surprise fills me as we walk into the room. It looks like something pulled right from a hospital I’ve seen on TV but all condensed down into the same room. Equipment alluding to - what I imagine an operating theatre looks like - is set up in the furthest corner of the room. The side of the room is set up with a small laboratory; flasks, microscopes and strange looking machines included.

At the front of the room, a desk and a few chairs are set up where Maddox takes a seat behind the desk. There are only three chairs in front of him so Theo pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Kennedy, tell me what's been going on.”

I sigh as I begin to tell Maddox what is practically my entire life story. He nods along with me as he jots down notes every so often.

I feel my Alphas tense around me when we get to particular rough spots in my story. I don’t let it derail me, knowing that if I stop talking now, I might not have the confidence to keep going.

Once I have finished, I feel numb in a way. It is different telling someone that isn’t my Alphas about the trauma in my past. Not like telling them how my life has been up until this point was easy. Even though he is clearly a professional, it still feels nerve-wracking.

Maddox takes a moment and finishes jotting down a few notes before looking back up at me.

“I think that we need to do some bloods first of all, just to see where you are at. You are right though. Not having a heat for this long isn’t normal but I have no doubt that we will be able to get to the bottom of it.”

Maddox collects some equipment and leads me over to a bed situated against the wall.

All three of the guys hover over him as they watch him take my blood. Each of my men growl as I let out an embarrassing whimper of pain as the needle goes into the crook of my arm. Maddox just rolls his eyes and scoffs before muttering something about overprotectiv e

Alphas.

It's then that I notice that Maddox isn’t an Alpha. Normally that’s something that I take catalogue of right away but seemingly like Theo, he has that same air about him that puts you at ease. As well as you can be while seeing a doctor, I guess.

Once bloods have been collected, he gives me a cotton ball to hold against the pin prick while he returns to his lab and begins running tests.

After a few minutes he comes back over to us and indicates for me to lie down on the bed.

“I want to do an ultrasound just to confirm that everything looks good internally, if that's okay with you?”

I nod my head in agreement as Maddox hands me a sheet.

“Lie down on the bed and cover your bottom half with that so I am able to access your stomach. I’ll leave the room to give you some privacy. Just let me know when you are ready.”

Lying down on the bed, I follow his instructions, smiling at Theo as he helps put the sheet over me. Once I am covered and my dress is lifted up to expose my bare stomach, Ledger calls Maddox back in.

I wince as the cold gel Maddox squeezes plops onto my stomach. I watch carefully as he moves the wand over my stomach, anxiety clogging my throat as each second passes.

It doesn’t take long for him to get all the images he needs before leaving the room again.

Jax grabs a handful of paper towels and wipes the gel off my stomach, his care for me making me smile.

Discarding the towels in the bin, he helps me to sit back up as Maddox comes back into the room .

“Finally, I want to do a full body x-ray. From what you have said, I want to make sure that there is nothing too far out of whack. Ideally, I would have liked to have done an MRI as well but unless there are any concerns, we will just get these images for now.”

I nod again and follow Maddox into a room just off his office. As I stand in front of the x-ray machine as he directs me into different positions to collect all the images, I realize just how sheltered my life has been.

I know for a fact that over the last seven years I have received my fair share of broken bones. I can’t even begin to count the amount of times my ribs have suffered under the fury of the man that sired me.

But never once have I been brought to a doctor for any of it.

I’m pretty confident that I haven’t even seen one since my mother passed. Even then, were we ever given the chance to see one?

It’s obvious to me that my mom was receiving abuse on a daily basis. Every single image of her that I am able to conjure in my mind has her face and body covered in bruises.

Her cries and pleads still ring in my ears. When she died, her torment just got transferred to me.

I shiver as the memories assault me but I refuse to let myself break again even though it threatens me. It feels like my trauma looms over me like a dark rain cloud, one that I am never able to escape.

Instead of breaking, I acknowledge it and I push it away vowing to both myself and my mother that we will get our revenge.

That’s the only thing that I am beginning to think will make me feel safe. For my father to get what he has done to me twice over.

The thought of killing or even hurting a person makes me physically sick but what other option do I have ?

He isn’t ever going to stop. That's one thing that has been made clear. He can’t handle not having control over a woman and their body. To him it is unthinkable.

But that's how it is for small, misogynistic men like him. He can’t handle the possibility of a woman having control over her life. Of determining what she is to do with her body.

He is weak.

I refuse to bow. I refuse to stay quiet.

I want to fight back. I want control over my body. To do with it what I choose.

Fuck him.