Chapter 54
Chapter
Fifty-Four
Tristan barely sleeps, and as the hours tick over she gets more frustrated and pissed off that she can’t sleep, until she snaps and yells for Maverick and Steel to join us.
I brush her hair off her face, my thumb trailing softly over the puffy bags under her eyes. And she tries to smile but it’s not like her usual one, or even her working one. With a resigned sigh, she rolls to her side, scooting backwards and pressing her back against my chest. Not nearly close enough though, she criss-crosses my arm over her chest like a seatbelt.
I have to use every inch of strength I have to swallow the rage at how scared she still is. Despite her being sandwiched between Steel and me.
We all knew we’d have moments like this but nothing can prepare you. Seeing someone you’ve obsessed and adored for so long, be so small and quiet absolutely guts you.
But Tris is still herself in a lot of ways too. She’s not shying away from how messed up she is because that’s not her style, instead she is openly, almost loudly showing us how vulnerable she is.
And I’ve never felt so much fucking pride for her.
Of course, she pushes herself into facing off with a large demon from the whole ordeal. Her breathing hitches and her hand shakes as she reaches out to touch Steel’s face.
“Tristan, I’m okay,” he says, trying to allay her fears.
And he knows she’s got conflicting emotions where he’s concerned, it would be impossible not too. I’m sure there’s a part of her that thought Steel was actually dead for a while, considering how long she was alone for she might have thought we were all dead.
She shakes her head, shutting him down while also probably stopping the dark memories holding her back.“I feel like I’m going to puke,” she growls at herself.
I drop my weight onto her, letting her know I’m right behind her, just in case those voices of hers get too bitchy. And Steel reinforces in his own way that he’s real too by letting his hair down, like she loves before gently putting her hand in his hair. Tristan’s fingers bury in his hair, and she starts combing it back.
He makes a deep, satisfied purr and she responds in an instant, her sweet bubble-gum scent slowly but surely overriding the bitterness of her stress and dark thoughts.
Tristan has never hidden her struggles. She’s never hidden much from me period. I’d put money on the voices in her head getting mighty fucking loud about now. Especially in light of us all being alive and as okay as we can be. Because whenever Tristan gets stressed or is deeply affected by something she starts to think she’s forgotten something or isn’t seeing things clearly. It’s difficult to watch, made worse because she knows she does it, but she’s powerless to stop it.
Steel continues to melt under her touch, and I know it’s hard for the both of them. His head would be a mess, guilty after having to force himself on her and force their bonding. We’re all freaking out because she hasn’t said a word about it yet.
“What’s got you most worried, Tristan?” I push, holding her tighter. And yeah, my designation comes into play, taking her freewill not to talk about this but that’s my role in this woman’s life to push her past her fears.
It takes her a while to answer, and in the silence I scent her up. Steel does similar, not as obvious as me rubbing my face on her neck but his scent leaks into the space they share. A couple of seconds later, Tyson and Maverick add their own reminders, the bedroom smells of pack. Her breathing gets a little shaky and Steel, thinking it’s him, backs off but she makes a small noise, hurt by him pulling away. He nabs her hand, marks it up.
There is nothing sexual about how the five of us reconnect with touches and caresses, scents and looks. This is based on rebuilding our fraying pack but I also know in time she will turn it into reclaiming her intimacy because that is who Tristan is. She is a fighter and is stubbornly determined to have whatever her heart desires, in whatever way works best for her too. I have no doubt, we’re going to throw out the recovery rule book when it comes to her.
I bite the back of her neck, rolling her onto her stomach, shrouding her in my own love, until I push her to where she wants to be, which is informed and aware.
“What do you remember?” My question blows over her skin, as I flick her hair off her neck so I can nibble and kiss along her spine. Incredibly vulnerable position for her to be in but it’s necessary for her to know how powerful she is. Her whole body shudders in relief, but at the same time she pushes back, asking for space while squeezing my arm, telling me she needs me close. I rest my head on her shoulders and wait.
“I remember what happened with Steel because… I was there. But it was kind of like the way we are too, King. I felt him inside my thoughts. I am nearly one hundred percent sure we had an argument because he wouldn’t force himself on me. But you were there telling us it would be okay.”
I slam my eyes shut, desperate not to see the horror on her face again, but I face the demons in my head as she does hers. “And that’s exactly how I remember it too. Steel?”
He takes a couple of deep breaths before he answers. “Pretty much. I remember thinking if you saw both King and me, it would be better.”
“It was,” she says in an instant. “I knew you’d probably be more worried…”
“Definitely worried about you,” Steel answers her.
“Knew it,” she says lightly, despite the heavy conversation and its weighted implications.
I kiss her, my hands holding her tighter because like she said, even though we don’t speak, we have an uncanny ability to talk and I know the words that are coming up next. “What scares me the most is what if it wasn’t Steel?”
“But it was.” I jump in and answer quickly. “We were fucking lucky it was him. We were lucky Rex didn’t know it was my claim on your throat, Tris. We were lucky on so many fronts but so fucking unlucky on a few.”
“Yeah?” She asks reluctantly, her muscles contracting under my hand as she relives a few moments in her head.
Her pack respond scenting up the air, I feel the rush of presence through the bond we all share, and I flood the one I have with her with my strength, and endless fucking love. “You were so adamant about Steel having time. I’m sorry that was taken from you both, but relieved too.”
“Tristan.” Steel interrupts quietly, and you can still hear he’s not himself; he sounds like a man who had a knife in his side after being forced to take a woman. His spirit is broken but he’s got that same fight Tristan does.
He waits until she looks at him, and then he crawls closer, until they’re sharing the same pillow, his nose nearly touching hers.
“I was fighting our connection, delaying the inevitable because of Rex. Since the day my mom, Sallyanne introduced him, he’s made our life a living hell and he has used my relationships against me. I was scared of him because he’s never had anything to lose. Me? I had Sallyanne and Harley for starters. With Tyson and Maverick’s help we got them out of there but it took a fucking long time. But there was no way I could ever tell him about Mav, and that tore me up every fucking day because I needed him differently to how I needed Tyson but the same too. And yeah, I fucking knew the instant I scented you who you were, but I couldn’t keep my brother or Mav safe so how was I gonna protect you?”
He doesn’t stop until he’s said his piece. His little speech is messy and all over the place, but it’s unfiltered and full of truth which is what Tristan needs. No matter how hard it is to hear, the absolute truth is what she needs—in terms of what happened but how people feel too.
Steel keeps going, “I can’t do anything about the claim I put on you, Trissy. Looking back, I was a fucking idiot for not telling you how much I wanted to claim you. At the lake I kind of talked about my family but not enough. Putting all the reasons aside though I’m glad we’re packed, because I need you with me as much as I need Maverick. My pack is my pack and we’ve got you to complete us. Still, not sure about King though.” He jokes softly. I get they’re having an intimate and very personal conversation, but we’re pack and right now the both of them need the reassurance they are not alone.
And there’s a long pause in the conversation, the two of them start breathing deeper but neither of them sleep.
“I don’t know if anyone else touched me,” she says in the smallest fucking voice I have ever heard in my life, and a part of my heart fractures off for her. I knew this would be something that would have her worried, it’s had me locked up in fucking fear ever since the video cut off with Steel being stabbed.
She goes on in the same voice. “And you get why it freaks me out, right? Because from what you’ve both said about him, Rex not forcing himself on me, or letting one of his buddies do it doesn’t make sense at all. I fucking hope he didn’t, but I don’t know.”
Steel beats me to answering her. “You are right. Something doesn’t add up because he would have, or he would have let the others try. I think it was because of me he didn’t though.”
“Hey?”
“He wanted me to be the one to do it again. The ultimate test in a way. Building you up to being a person no one else in the club could touch would make it hurt me more if I stepped out of line.”
“There were women there. I heard them all together,” Tristan says.
Tyson clears his throat before the bed moves as he sits up, crowding around her closer. Maverick moves too, his arm around Steel reaches over for her. “We might never know why he didn’t do anything or let any of his men, but I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that they didn’t penetrate or even touch you down below.”
Tyson says and he leaves no doubt in the clinical tone he uses. “When we found you, you were dressed from the waist down. I changed you and there was only Steel’s scent on your body. It might sound harsh?—”
“No!” She interrupts quickly, her voice louder than needs to be. “I need harsh, Tyson. On some level I knew because I wasn’t sore, but I guess I was talking myself out of believing they didn’t because it doesn’t make sense. Does that make sense?”
“Course it does,” Steel says softly, and he gets so close to her their noses touch again.
Maverick hops up off the bed, goes through the suite, flicking off all the lights and grabbing everyone’s phones. “Come on, we need sleep. None of us have had more than twenty minutes or so. Check out is in five hours. I’m pulling rank here.”
There’s a soft laugh of agreement from all of us, and within minutes she’s out cold. Sleeping like she needs, surrounded by her pack. I reach over and get Tyson’s attention. He swaps places with me, holding her exactly like I was and I close the door gently after me.
The phone picks up on the first ring. “I need to talk to Raney, Siderno.”
I knew she wouldn’t pick up given the hour and her recent packing, so instead I called her Alpha. Koz is used to being awake at all hours of the night given his line of work.
I have never ever stood in between what they share despite his age and Koz’s chosen career, but I sure as fuck did with Puck, one of her other Alphas. I was looking out for them both. I’m hoping my kiddo extends the same level of understanding when I tell her about Tristan.
“Hey.” She picks up faster than I thought she would; she sounds barely awake but there’s a flood of alarm in her voice. “It’s not even sunrise, everything okay?”
“Yeah, Raney, it is now,” I say, sitting down on the lounge, suddenly feeling fucking old and tired. “I just needed to hear your voice.”
I can hear her shuffling and her pack talking to her. “You’re scaring me, Dad, did something happen?”
“Yeah, but I’m good now. I promise.” I can feel her anxiety climbing higher and I didn’t want that. I just needed to hear her voice. “Raney, it’s club drama so I’m not fucking telling you. I’ve got a few loose ends to fix up, I need you aware. Sorry, kid.”
“I am aware,” she insists before her voice drops away. “King, you’re really scaring me, are you sure you’re okay? Is it Joker, Dad?”
Of course, her concern jumps to one of her pseudo uncles. “Nah, a bullet isn’t going to stop him, is it?”
The both of us stop talking. I’m kind of stumped at what else to say. I only called to hear her voice. “I’ll let you go.”
“What sort of problem, King, you can tell me,” she insists, and I break my fucking rule of ever involving her.
“One of the club women did me real fucking dirty, Raney. I know you’ve got a soft spot for them but if any of them reach out, I want you to lock your door and let me know.”
“Are you fucking serious?” she yells, getting fired up on my half in a red-hot minute. My daughter is certainly more like me than Jenn, a fiery temper with a giant fucking heart.
“I know you got a soft spot for some of the girls, but what they did is inexcusable. People got hurt. They will be punished accordingly, and it won’t be nice.”
“I’m so sorry, King,” she confirms the obvious, but it is still nice to hear.
“I know, kid, I know. Promise me you’ll stay safe. I’m not sure how long I’ll be dealing with this shit. I’ve called all of them back in, so now is the most dangerous time too, yeah?”
“I hear you.”
“Good. Be safe. Let me speak to Koz again.”
“Love you.”
The phone gets handed over; I can hear a muffle of voices as she explains to Koz the reason for my call. I wait until a door shuts.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m calling every fucking woman associated back into the club. We’re going into lock down while I deal with them. I’ve got a score to settle with the Death Riders’ president.” I hiss out through clenched teeth, my anger bursting out of me. “I need to know Raney’s safe.”
“Of course she is. Do you need a hand?”
I pace around the room, feeling trapped by the situation we’re in. Talking about the deception takes me right back to seeing Tristan hurt and finding her after the days I couldn’t. Koz waits until I breathe through the worst of my memories.
“Nah,” I answer after a while. “It’s not a great place to be is all. I’m worried about the fallout since I missed this bullshit until now.”
“Don’t doubt yourself, King.”
I start pacing through the suite, feeling trapped in the room, needing to finish what has started. “Fucking women though? I know it shouldn’t shock me, but it does.”
“Just because deception comes at you wearing a pair of tits, doesn’t make it any less offensive. Especially in our world where every motherfucker understands the term of loyalty and the rules. An eye for an eye, irrespective of gender. I’m sure you are not acting without proof, so stay focused on the reason and less on what is coming to those who have wronged you.”
I stop in front of one of the windows, looking out over the night sky, wishing we were all as peaceful as the view. “When’d you get so fucking wise in your old age?” I ask, knowing what he’s saying is true.
Hearing his views isn’t necessary and wouldn’t have changed the punishment lined up for the bitches who sold my queen, but it does make me feel better.
“I have always been smarter than you. Jesus, if you’ve forgotten that perhaps I really should fly over and help.” He laughs, intentionally winding me up. We’ve known each other for a very long time. “You’re a good person, for an asshole. Now I’m going back to bed. If you need me, you know where I am, but your daughter is safe.”
I hang up feeling better. More settled in what’s coming next too. I’m not a fan of violence against women. I’ve never even smacked Raney as a kid but knowing I’ll be filling a woman’s head with lead is a regret I’ll live with because what they did has changed Tristan forever. And that will not go unpunished.