Last Minute Fiancé

Chapter 3

Luca

There was an odd sense of panic running through my system. One that screamed that I should be reacting, that I should be fighting or fleeing. Could someone flee and fight at the same time? Because that felt like the correct response.

I looked down at the test in her hand, and heard the words coming out of her mouth, but they didn’t quite register.

We hadn’t gone for one of those tests that were hard to read. Not one where you had to see if the little rattle was pink or blue or purple or polka dot. Not one you had to count the lines or decide if the lines were dotted or straight or diagonal. No, we got the one that said pregnant or not pregnant. And if you looked at the screen you realized that the word “pregnant” would always be there and it was just the word “not” that might show up on the readout. Meaning there was still potential for the “not” to show up. I stared at it, willing the word “not” to slowly fade into reality.

But it never did. The “not” did not show up. Instead, all that remained was a single word—pregnant.

As in the woman that had quickly become my best friend, my confidant, the woman that I enjoyed hanging out with, that I had slept with one time while a little too drunk and a little too happy, who was now carrying my child.

She hadn’t said she hadn’t slept with anyone else, and had invited me here because she needed me by her side. Not as her friend, no, as the dickhead who had impregnated her.

I ran my hands over my face, trying not to panic and yet all I was doing was freaking the fuck out.

“Oh my God.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” Addison screeched, then set the test gently down on the counter and picked up the other box. “We’re going to do this one more time. Or maybe eight more times, until it comes up with the right answer.”

“I’m going to go get you some water, or Gatorade. You need to pee.”

“Yes.” She snapped her fingers twice and pointed at me. “Get me hydrated and then I’m going to pee over everything.”

“I’m so glad that we’re not freaking out and we’re acting rational,” I said, as we both burst out laughing, but I knew each of us were on the verge of tears.

I ran to the kitchen and got two bottles of water and a Gatorade.

I swayed a bit, realizing that the nausea I was feeling had nothing to do with the nausea she was feeling. Because she had needed the Gatorade because she had been having morning sickness.

Because Addison was pregnant.

I dry heaved for a minute, bent over at the waist, my full hands on my knees. My God. Addison was pregnant. No. These tests were going to come up with the correct answer soon. Because false positives totally happened all the time, didn’t they?

Okay. I was a vet. A veterinarian who dealt with pregnant animals, not people, though I knew the stats behind false positives when it came to at-home pregnancy tests.

The stats were not in my favor, but fuck it. I had been a child genius according to my family. I had graduated early, ended up in college far too early, made some terrible decisions and some great ones. I owned a veterinary clinic with another person who was great at the business side of things, not so much at the people side of things, and I had done all of this before I was thirty. I was smart. I knew statistics. And I knew we were fucked because we had fucked.

That was going to be my new tagline. I was going to put it on shirts and let everyone know that I was a fucking idiot who just impregnated my best friend.

I was so glad that I wasn’t panicking. I was handling this like a complete professional and not having an actual meltdown.

Everything was going to be fine, but I needed to calm down. Because Addison needed me to be strong. She needed me to be calm and collected.

The bathroom door was closed, so I waited until she opened it again, another test in her hand. I handed over the electrolyte drink, and she shook her head before taking the water bottle.

“My stomach hurts a little too much for flavoring.” We looked at each other but didn’t talk about it. Because maybe it was just a stomach flu. A lot of stomach flu. That would not bring a baby into the world.

I took the sports drink and chugged a good third of it while not making eye contact. Neither one of us said anything as we waited for the clock to wind down. The next two tests said pregnant, and we stood there, hands shaking.

“Addison.”

“I can’t be on birth control.”

I blinked at the topic change, but nodded. “Okay. That’s fine. I mean, I guess that makes sense?” I was rambling at this point.

“Luca, I can’t have hormonal birth control because I have blood clot issues. That’s why even when completely drunk I made sure that we used a condom. We made sure. It doesn’t make any sense. I…I can’t believe this is true…that life could do this…but…I’m pregnant, Luca.”

I was still trying to catch up with what she had said.

We stood in her small guest bathroom in her cozy house that she loved and had put so much work into when she wasn’t working sixty- and eighty-hour weeks. I painted this bathroom because it had been an odd olive color, and she wanted to brighten it up a bit, so we had added dark blue batten board with a very light white paint on the top. It had almost felt nautical, so she added a few more tree and barren wood paintings. All in all, it felt welcoming, and I was happy to have helped make it what it was.

That I could be a part of it.

She pushed past me after setting the test down on the counter and began to pace the living room. I followed her, my hands in my pockets because I didn’t know what to do with them. If I did what I wanted to do with them, I’d have her in my arms and we’d be pretending this hadn’t happened.

“I cannot believe this is happening. I’m always so careful. We were so careful. I’m not on birth control because my body can’t handle it.”

“And we used a condom.”

“And we used a condom, but we know it’s not a hundred percent.”

“And we were so drunk, I’m honestly surprised that I could even get it up,” I said, trying to lighten the situation a little.

She snorted before her eyes went wide. “Why couldn’t you have had whiskey dick?”

I snorted. “Because I had tequila. And I didn’t have tequila dick. So, we slept together, and then we purposely didn’t talk about it other than knowing that we were just going to remain friends, right?”

“I know. I know. Oh God, I’m pregnant. And I have no idea what to do about it. I’m not ready to be a mom.”

“Okay.” I didn’t have anything to say to that. I was still catching up to about eight sentences ago.

“I’m not ready to be a mom. I work too much, I don’t eat right, I barely work out. The only times I get to see you guys are when everyone forces me to group events, or when you show up to help me with something on this house. A house that I could barely afford. And it doesn’t even feel like my home yet because I’m rarely here. And now I’m supposed to be a mom?”

“We’re not going to panic. We’re going to be okay.”

“I am clearly panicking here. Please panic with me. I need you to panic with me.”

I moved forward and gripped her shoulders, taking a deep breath. “Addison. We’re friends. We’re always going to be friends, no matter what happens. We’re going to figure this out.”

“Your voice is going a little more high-pitched as you’re talking, so I don’t know if you’re supposed to be calming me down or if I’m supposed to be calming you down.”

“Okay. This is what we’re going to do. We’re going to panic, but we’re also going to make an appointment with the doctor. Because no matter what, you’re not going through this alone. Even if you got pregnant by some random guy and not me.”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“I’m trying to put out a hypothetical here, not actually say anything. What I’m saying is even if I hadn’t been the one with the super sperm, I would still be by your side. So, now me and my super sperm are going to be by your side.”

“Please stop calling it super sperm.”

“I promise never to use those words again.” I sighed. “We’re going to figure this out. We’re going to go to the doctor and they’re going to tell us you’re not pregnant.”

“We both know that is a lie.”

“Fine. We’re going to go to the doctor, and they’re going to tell us what happens next. And they’re going to make sure you’re okay.” I swallowed the panic in my throat as she met my gaze. I had a feeling she knew exactly why I was panicking.

All I could think about is what would happen if she wasn’t okay. Because I had lost Ashleigh. How could I even contemplate the fact that I could lose someone I cared for again? No, I wasn’t going to go down that path. I couldn’t go down that path and remain sane. I knew this, she knew this, and we were going to be fine.

Only nothing felt fine right now.

“Luca.” She ran her hands over her face and began to pace around the living room again. “I want to be a mom.”

I swallowed hard and nodded. “Okay. Okay.”

“I thought it would come later though. When I had my life together. When I was married. Okay, maybe not married because I always thought that was slightly archaic.”

“I think it’s more of a puritanical thing, right?” I said. I had once thought I would get married and it hadn’t worked out. Because life hit you hard, and I lost Ashleigh before we had a chance. We had been too young, had loved too hard, and in the end she died—and was the only other person I had been with besides Addison. But I wasn’t going to bring that up. That would just complicate matters, and I didn’t want to think about Ashleigh.

I hated thinking about her. About the fact that I had loved her with all of my heart, and then she was gone. Gone in an instant, and I had lost my future. Because I thought we would get married and have 2.5 kids and own a house and have a Volvo. All of those things, while bringing home random animals from the vet that needed help overnight. And I would annoy Ashleigh with the number of puppies and kittens in the house. And suddenly Ashleigh was gone and there was no getting that future back. There was no fixing it.

But then Addison’s words came back to me and things started to meld together and I knew I needed to split them apart before I had another panic attack.

I couldn’t put Addison and Ashleigh in the same positions. I couldn’t reconcile the fact that if Addison had such health issues, I could lose her. I wasn’t going to think about that. That would be ridiculous. We didn’t even know if she was truly pregnant. So we weren’t going to stress.

“Okay, maybe not married, but I would be in a happy and healthy relationship. And I would have a partner.”

“I’m standing right here. You’re my best friend, Addison.”

“You’re my best friend. Along with Devney and Paisley, but I didn’t sleep with them. I slept with you. Because we were drunk, and we used a condom, but my body hates me. It’s like this fertile land that just won’t stop ruining my life.” She began to pace again.

“I always thought I’d be a dad, Addison. That I’d have that provincial life we joke about.”

She looked at me with sadness in her gaze, and I knew she understood. That we both did.

“And you didn’t get that. I’m so sorry, and I don’t know what to do because I’m not her. I’m me, and I’m freaking the fuck out. I just want this all to go away but it won’t. I have a report due in the morning. I don’t have time for a doctor’s appointment. I don’t have time to deal with morning sickness and swollen ankles and everything that comes with pregnancy. I don’t even know what comes with pregnancy. I don’t know what to do now. We weren’t supposed to get pregnant, Luca. I realized that there’s always consequences for our actions, but I thought we were being smart.”

I moved forward as she continued to ramble, and pulled her close. She fought for a moment, shaking a bit, before letting out a deep sigh and resting her head on my chest. I set my chin on the top of her head and wrapped my arms around her tightly. It took a moment before she finally wrapped her arms around me, and we just stood there, not speaking.

“I don’t want to tell anyone until we have answers. Because they’re going to have judgments, they’re going to have questions, and I don’t have any answers.”

“Okay, as your best friend, I’m going to be the one to say that we are going to do this together. I don’t know what this is, I don’t know what happens next, but you’re not alone.”

“Luca.”

“No. Nothing feels real right now, it all feels like panic, but that doesn’t matter. We’re going to do this one step at a time, and we’re going to probably panic and make all the mistakes, but we’re friends. Friends can do anything. You’re not alone in this. We’ve got this.”

She moved back to look at me, and I knew she didn’t believe me.

Because the problem was, I didn’t believe me either.

We were royally and truly screwed.

Everything had changed, and there were no answers, no labels for what was next.

I was having a baby with my best friend, and I barely remembered the night we had been together.

That was going to be a great start to a story that we’d have to tell our friends.

One day.

Unless we moved away and never talked to them again. That would probably be safer. Less judgment. Less noise.

And a whole lot more panic.